Robin’s Rambles: Supernatural 9.05, “Dog Dean Afternoon”

Robin’s Rambles – “Dog Dean Afternoon,” Episode 5, Season 9

*I love dogs! This ep meant a lot to me for that alone. Colonel was a great dog.

*I loved the rundown of Dean’s and Sam’s funny moments, especially Dean’s girlish scream. I lost my shoe–Classic!

*The murder of that hunter, Max, was gross. Ew on the snake tongue. Why did he kill the hunter? What did he have that he wanted?

*Kevin is having too good a time off camera, lol!

*Dean wants Sam back to his old self–sans angel. Tell him, Dean, hurry!

*Taxidermy is creepy. The guy they question used to be on “Family Ties” and hasn’t aged well. Entrails. . .gross! Animal in a dress? Yuck! “No hex bags,” Sam reports. Dean is paranoid about how one of the animal heads looks at him.

*Animals rights group–SNART. Vegan bakery, Dean does not approve. Douchebags wear sunglasses inside. But they were attacked by snake venom, not Mace, realize Sam and Dean. No snake constricts and spews venom. 

*Enid Animal Shelter, a guy collects–and eats–cats! Gross again! Paid off, the kid still died. Perfume company for animal testing? He deserved to die! Sam and Dean investigate, confused. Cats missing, death by claws, huh? They find Colonel, is he their monster? Dean tests the dog with silver, nothing, but Colonel does react to the cowboy hat. Witness! They get an Inuit spell from Kevin to speak to Colonel.

*Dean drinks the potion, which tastes awful, and speaks the spell. Suddenly, he hears Colonel asking, “Change the station.” The dog reveals that the guy who killed both victims was wearing a cowboy hat. Dean retrieves what Sam is tossing in the garbage. Guy reeked of red meat, dish washing detergent and Tiger Balm. Dean yells at the mailman and scratches his head as Colonel barks. (So funny,) Sam corroborates the side effects with Kevin. Colonel warns Dean not to eat chocolate. Lol!

*Dean argues with a pigeon for pooping on his car, and nearly shoots it. He leans his head out the window as they drive, and won’t let Colonel be left in the car. He and Colonel admire a French poodle. Dean questions other dogs in the shelter. One dog has the skinny, but wants a belly rub–from Sam–to give it up. The dog reveals the cat stealing and eating–and that the bag said Avant Garde Cuisine. Before they leave, Dean opens all the cages and frees all the dogs. 

*The brothers go to the restaurant and find major heavy painkillers in a drawer. They find talking mice in a cage, who tell them to check the fridge. There are owl brains, cheetah liver, bear brains there. Sam finds a spell book that explains that mixing those items with the right herbs and spices gives you wisdom, speed and strength. Eating the mice would give the guy a collapsible spine. Mixing up the parts gives very interesting results. 

*Sam and Dean come across the chef and tell him they’re health inspectors here for a surprise inspection. A waiter enters. “Kitchen’s shut down,” says Dean. “You’re both in violation of Code 8114,” adds Sam. “Out–we’ll let you know,” says Dean. They split up to find their killer. He appears out of the wallpaper, a perfect chameleon, and viciously slashes Sam across his throat. Sam turns away and Zeke immediately heals him. When the killer sees this, he says, “I want to know what you are.” Sam has no idea what he’s talking about. “Screw the sharktopus,” he says, laying Sam out with one punch, “you’re my main course tonight.” 

*Sam lies unconscious on the floor. The killer sharpens his knives and smells dog. He quickly subdues and ties Dean to a stanchion. Dean sets to work rubbing the electrical cord against a corner of the stanchion while the killer brags about how he’s going to eat Sam’s heart and wonders what their mother smoked while pregnant with them. Dean tells the killer he knows he has cancer. Yes, stage 4 carcinoma, the killer confesses, but  with the help of a shaman and a zoo membership, he found a temporary cure–but it always came back. People became collateral damage; eat enough predators you become one. He’s going to kill Dean, work up an appetite, then kill Sam. He chooses the wolf heart, says a few words, then chows down. Dean has freed himself by then, but is taken aback by his opponent’s mouthful of wolf’s teeth. “Wolf trumps dog,” says the killer. “But not a whole pack,” says Dean, whistling for the brethren he freed from the shelter. They attack the killer and bring him down.

*Dean kneels beside Sam and frantically presses his hands to either side of his face. “Hey, for the love of God, Sammy, Sammy, Zeke! Whoever the hell you are! Don’t make me lick your damn face!” When Sam comes to, Dean is very relieved, and pulls his brother to his feet.

*The brothers bring Colonel to the vegan shop and offer him to them for adoption. They are delighted. The woman is cooing at him. “Back off, tofu breath.” She goes to get him some vegan doggie cupcakes. Colonel tells Dean he’s going to be pooping wheatgrass. Dean tell him he wishes he could take him on the road, but it’s no life for a dog. Colonel confesses he gets carsick anyway, and threw up in the back of the Impala. He starts to tell Dean why dogs were REALLY put on earth, but at that very moment, the spell wears off, and Dean can’t hear it. Damn!

*Back with Sam, who is wondering why the killer wanted to eat his heart. “He was possessed by something he couldn’t control,” says Dean, “you can’t deal with crazy.” Uh oh, this can’t go on much longer, Dean. Your brother is getting closer to the truth, without you!

I just enjoyed this episode so much, it was funny, silly, serious, had a point, dogs, a happy ending, brotherly love, and because of all this, I only have two questions for you.

1.  I give this episode a 10. It made me laugh out loud, it had a lot of great dogs things, both Jensen and Jared love dogs, and so do I.

2.  I kept shouting at my TV, Dean, tell your brother the truth! Hurry up! This is the perfect opportunity! Be honest. Come on, tell him why this guy wanted to eat your heart!