Supernatural’s Top Ten Funniest Lines
Welcome to part 3 is a series on Supernatural’s best comedic moments!
Karen started the series by sharing her list of Supernatural’s Top 10 Funniest Episodes. Many of her favorites – “Changing Channels”, “Mystery Spot”, “Hunteri Heroici”, “The French Mistake”, “Yellow Fever”, “Bad Day at Black Rock” and “Tall Tales” – are on almost everyone’s list of hilarious shows. These episodes were written largely as comedy relief, pausing the intense drama that fills most of Supernatural’s seasonal arcs. I pull these episodes out when I want to brighten my day with light hearted fun that is familiar, knowing they won’t let me down.
Part 2 in the series narrowed the focus to the Top 10 Funniest Scenes from Supernatural’s past 10 years. “The Fairy Attack”, “The Flying Beer Bottle”, “Hi Ya Sammy”, “Fetch” and “This Is Your Life” were just a few of the laugh out loud moments recreated in my Top 10 list. Ironcially, none of these scenes appeared in the comedic classics listed above. In fact, at least half of the scenes were small comedy bits interjected into creative but not necessarily comedic episodes. Instant trivia game: can you remember which episodes contained these scenes? Answers at the end of this article!
Some of the best comedic moments in Supernatural are unexpected. They come out of the blue, many being mere seconds within an otherwise serious story. These comedic gems are often just one or two lines delivered with exactly the right zing, i.e. timing, facial expression or tone of voice. Sometimes I laugh harder at the one-liners because they are so quick!
In creating my list of the Top 10 Funniest Lines, I had to eliminate several “runners-up” that always make me smile, but don’t elicit float-to-the-ceiling* laugh out loud reactions. To honor their comedic contribution, I want to first mention two characters that were or still are One Liner geniuses.
Honorable Mention: Rachel Miner’s Meg.
I loved her character. Every line she delivered had wit, timing and sass.
“I dunno, I believe in the little tree topper.” – “The Born Again Identity” 7.17
“Hey Seacrest, not a nurse, just playing one on TV.” – “Reading is Fundamental” 7.21
“There goes the Empire’s last hope.” – “Survival of the Fittest” 7.23
It wasn’t so much that her lines were funny. Instead, they were…cool. Like Fonzie cool. She always knew the perfect pop culture reference and she made everyone else around her look dumb for not being as fast, smart, cheeky or bold. Her punch lines deliver every time.
8.17 “Goodbye Stranger”
Dean: Why lie?
Meg: Buy myself some time, dummy. Try to find a way to get free.
Sam: Wait — so… A bunch of innocent people died so you could… buy yourself some time?
Meg: Hi. I’m Meg. I’m a demon.
then later in the episode,
Meg: “Do I look like Google to you?”
I really miss Meg.
Honorable Mention #2: Crowley
“No one in the history of torture has been tortured with torture like the torture you’ll be tortured with!” – “King of the Damned” 9.21
Mark’s Shephard’s Crowley started out as a crossroads demon with a silver tongue who could sell ice to Eskimos. After he ascended to be the King of Hell, his throne enboldened his gift for words making him faster, more flippant and often, even funnier. He is an oratory master, always ten steps ahead of everyone around him both in scheming and in zing!
“Please. I’ve sold sin to saints for centuries. You think I can’t close one little deal?” – “The Devil You Know” 5.20
“What on earth could you possibly need now, Viggo? I’ve given you every torture instrument known to man – short of a Neil Diamond album.” – “Torn and Frayed” 8.10“
Wow. If it isn’t the Scarecrow and the Tin Man. Your new houseguest, so misunderstood — neither of you saw Wicked?” – “Slumber Party” 9.04
Even his most serious soliloquies often were based in comedy, such as his classic speech in “Sacrifice” (8.23):
“Seriously? Me, seriously? We just shared a foxhole, you and I. We beat back the Tet Offensive, outrun the –the Rape of Nanking, together! And still you’re gonna do me like this?! Band of Brothers? The Pacific? None of this means anything to you? All those motels, you never once watched HBO, not once? Girls?
In my book, Mark Sheppard (or Crowley?) is the King of Zing.
Beyond these two characters who consistently deliver, I tried to create my list from memory only, believing that the funniest moments should (and maybe did) claim their distinction by the impression they made on me. I judged where to place each of my favorite lines in this list by how much I laughed just remembering the line. So here is my Top 10 list of Supernatural’s Funniest Lines ever!
#10: A tie between:
“Do these tacos taste funny to you?” – Dean “Mystery Spot” 3.11
The entire scene was just this one line, but we all knew the implication. Zap, pause for effect, move on. Comedy 101.
…and…
“You’re not in my contacts list.” – Castiel “Brother’s Keeper” 10.23
In the intense season climax, the tension was broken by a two-line exchange between Crowley and Castiel. Desperate for a favor, Castiel summons Crowley. Incredulous, Crowley asks, “Who summons anymore? Couldn’t you call?” Misha’s straight faced, deadly serious and literal answer earns a smile and a head shake every time. “You’re not in my contacts list.”
What a perfect reaction from a centuries old angel living in the age of the digital revolution. You have to love this guy!
I didn’t want to leave either of these lines off the list, so I offer them both for your feedback. Which would you have chosen?
9. “I lost my shoe” – Sam “Bad Day at Black Rock” 3.03
I don’t actually laugh at this line anymore because I know it’s coming. I might rewatch the episode just to hear deflated little brother Sammy reverting to 5-year old helplessness. The first several (dozen) times through the episode, though, it had the desired effect. It’s perfect and might be one of the most memorable lines of the entire Supernatural series. It had to be on the list.
8. “I found a liquor store…and I drank it” – Castiel “99 Problems” 5.17
Another Castiel classic. Out of options and out hope, Castiel resorts to getting drunk. I believe this is the first time we are given an inkling of what it would take to impair a “multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent”!
I always laugh at that line. Maybe it’s the punch line timing, or maybe how unexpected it is. An angel trying to get hammered? I guess it makes sense that it would take the entire store!
7. “Dumb Ass” – Cat “Hunteri Heroici” 8.08
I sent this shot to my husband to put up in his office at work. I told him to look at it whenver he gets frustrated, knowing the inside joke of what the cat thinks of yet another inane situation. It just makes everything better.
6 “Metatron?!?…. What?… What?” – Sam “Reading is Fundamental” 7.21
Castiel: This is the handwriting of Metatron.
Sam: Metatron?!? You’re saying a Transformer wrote that?Dean: No, that’s Megatron.
Sam: What??Dean: The Transformer, it’s Megatron.
Sam: What???
Why is something that is so dumb this funny? The delivery. It’s all in the delivery. It cracks me up every time!
5.5 “Third kind already? You better run. I think the fourth kind is a butt thing” – Sam …
& 5 “Empathy, Sam, Empathy!” – Dean “Clap Your Hands If You Believe” 6.09
I have to confess that I had forgotten about these lines. I went back and rewatched “Clap Your Hands if You Believe” based on comments to my funniest scenes article. I laughed so hard that I just had to include them…and recreate them here. You can’t tell me you didn’t just smile at least!
4. “The frosting reached near supersonic speeds” – Castiel “Hunteri Heroici” 8.08
CASTIEL Oh. You got my message. Good.
DEAN: What the hell happened?
CASTIEL: There was a pastry mishap.
DEAN: Okay, and?
CASTIEL: And the frosting reached near-supersonic speeds.
Again with Castiel’s innocent, straight-man delivery! Even amid the competition of the Looney Tunes story, Misha nailed this line! It earns #4 on my list!
3. “I don’t want this” – Sam “Dog Dean Afternoon” 9.05
The whole bit is hilarious. Jensen keeping a straight face and acting in character as a dog, fetching the paper over and over again, with Sam as the straight-man. I chose this line over “What are you doing??” because this is when the audience first realizes something very, very funny is happening. Sam’s innocence and confusion makes the gag that much funnier.
2. “What the Cuss? A Vampire?” – Sheriff Donna “Hibbing 911” 10.08
The two sheriff’s talking over each other’s lines, being in two different places on the spectrum of understanding monsters, added to the impact of Donna’s dumbstruck realization of the word “vampire”. Briana’s non-stop delivery from complaining about a machete to “wait.. what’d she say???” rolls me on the floor!
…and #1 is…
1. “What. Is. Happening?! What is Happening?” – Kevin “Reading is Fundamental” 7.21
Wait for it….the quiet look of panic…
then…
Again, the hysteria of the moment when the most innocent of characters gets thrown into the Winchester’s world. How often do we want to scream at the loss of our perfect worlds? So far, this is my favorite line of the entire Supernatural series. It’s my go-to always. Maybe that says something about my life?
So those are my top ten (well really 12 or 14). How did I do? What did I miss? What’s your #1 favorite funny line?
…and I didn’t forget! Now that you’ve had time to think about it, check out your answers to the instant trivia challenge:
The Fairy Attack is from “Clap Your Hands If You Believe”,
The Flying Beer Bottle is from “Pac Man Fever”,
Hi Ya Sammy is from “About A Boy” and
Fetch is from “Dog Dean Afternoon”.
*In case you didn’t get the reference, check out “I Love to Laugh” from Mary Poppins.
Hope you’ve enjoyed our Top 10 Funniest series! Let us know if you have suggestions for another Top 10 list. I already have a few in mind…
Screencaps and gifs courtesy of:
http://gifsofsupernatural.tumblr.com
http://allthesupernaturalgifs.tumblr.com
www.homeofthenutty.com
www.screencapped.net
Hi Nightsky, Thanks. Good choices. I also loved Rachel Miner’s Meg for the reasons you stated. She was my favorite demon.
A few other lines worth noting:
Dean:“That fabric softener teddy bear? Oh, I’m gonna hunt that little bitch down.” 1.12 Faith
In regard to Bela Talbot: Dean:“Can I shoot her?” Sam:“Not in public.”
Oliver Pryce had some good lines in Inside Man 10.17 Castiel states he is an angel Oliver: That-no, you can’t be. …. Castiel: Why not?….. Oliver: Because I’m an atheist.
Sam (whose body is being used by a teenage boy):“I would love to have the sex with you.”
Garth: Yeah, because you two came busting in here like a house on fire. Guns waving, [b]the jawlines and the hair[/b] — it’s very intimidating! 9.12 Sharp Teeth
Many lines from 6.09 Clap your Hands If you Believe. Sam assuring Dean he can talk about the abduction: “Safe room” and pats Dean’s leg! Also from same episode: This is not a line but a gesture that cracks me up every time: Dean walks into the hotel room after being abducted and Patchouli girl leaves. Dean sits on the end of bed that Sam just had sex in and after casting a glance over the whole bed realizes this and he quickly gets up with that look on his face and immediately sits on the other bed. Jensen said that was improv.
You’ve included many of my favorites Nightsky, but one which leaps to mind because I crack up every time I see it is a line from Hunteri Heroici. When the boys and Cas realize that the wife of the man whose heart popped out was on board with his extramarital affair, Cas says “so she’s not a witch?” and Dean says out of the corner of his mouth “just the best wife EVER!”
I’d have to add Sam from Plucky’s “Dude one of them sprayed me with seltzer from his flower” like that was the worst thing they did to him. Of course Dean’s laugh brought it home but that line cracks me up every time.
The “You’re not on my contacts list” was most likely the funniest for me! Trust an angel with barely any sense of humour to make me laugh the most 😀
Sam’s “And apparently clowns kill.”
This line from ELAC gets me every time. I think it’s a combo of the delivery and the absurd content of their conversation, with this the capper, that does it.
I would also throw in Soulless Sam’s “Do you have bigger cups?” From the fairies ep.
Yes, that one gets me every time! Maybe because I hate clowns too! Also, there was the Jenny Klein line, “My cupcakes have hearts” as it is all sinking in. Very much like the “What is Happening?” line. Love those realizations people have when they are drawn into the world of Winchester!
I loved Sam’s whole speech to the crazy lady in Clap Your Hands… and the tiny cups too. That’s always been favorite SS moment for me. I also really loved the Sheriff from Larp and the Real Girl with his “These kids today, with their texting and murder,” his delivery was terrific.
I just watched LATRG last night. I had forgotten about the sheriff. He was great. That and it wasn’t a line but Dean and the gun cracks me up. It is so Dean to cut to the chase.
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I also loved that everyone jumped but Sam.
I never noticed that Sam was the only one who didn’t jump! Funny all over again!
I never noticed that Sam was the only one that didn’t jump either! Heh. He did give Dean his epic eye roll though. :p
Sheriff Donna with her Fargo routine and the “you betcha”s get me every time. Love her and Jodi together too!