Are you ready for part three of the Christmas story? If you missed the opening chapters of this year's Christmas in the bunker with the Winchesters, you'll want to go back to read Part 1 and Part 2 before continuing. After this we have still two parts to go.
I have to be honest. I am bad with dialogue. I don't have the patience to write dialogue and this part is dialogue heavy. So keep that in mind while reading. I hope I didn't make a full mess of it. Alright, moving on. Our brothers have a little rough piece ahead so I thought I would go a little silly with the fan vid for this part. I hope you like it.
It's a Supernatural Life
Sam stopped for a moment and then he felt a light choke rising up his throat. Usually he was calm and a rock in almost all situations but for the first time, fear crept upwards on his spine. He didn't know how to answer his mother so his instinct was to start to organize and unravel the Christmas decorations so Mary wouldn't see how shaken he was.
Mary: Did you hear me?
Sam nodded and said yes but he avoided making eye contact at all costs. Mary spread the Christmas table cloth over the long table and prepared the candle sticks. She picked up and put down the candy bowl and poured some sweets in it.
Mary: Sammy... I am so sorry.
Sam stopped organizing the lights and turned to face her. He let her speak because he did not know what to say at the moment.
Mary: My actions... Decision condemned... No, ruined your life and Dean's life. I had no idea what answering yes to save John would really mean. I thought I could find a way to make it right. Live and fight another day. Find a solution before it happened, but... I didn't. You have the right to be angry, disappointed in me. Hell... I am. I would understand even if you didn't want to see me again.
Sam: Mom stop...
Sam sighed and collected his thoughts. This situation seemed all too familiar to him and boy, did he understand what she was saying. Almost every Winchester he knew had made the same mistake. Him included. But on the plus side, they were still alive and keeping up the good fight. Mary fell silent. She clearly was waiting for the judgment to fall and to see how her son would react.
Sam: You might have made the decision but the circumstances made it so that you had no choice. Long story short, the angels and demons both played a game with our lives, forcing them towards only one outcome. You were fated to make that decision, like John did for Dean, Dean did for me and even I for him. We have all been there because of love and because we didn't want to lose the one that was in peril. We had a choice but we didn't have choice if that makes any sense.
Mary: They... controlled everything?
Mary: Think about everything that happened after that. I have researched... Followed leads with John's journal. What happened then was a mess and I started it all. It was my fault.
Sam: Or my fault, or John's fault or Deans. We can blame whomever we want but it doesn't change anything. Dean and I... Both of us were angry for a long time, but we lived through it. We made mistakes but we got over it. I really don't have the right to be angry or lay blame because I made all the same mistakes. I would be a hypocrite, or that is how I feel about it anyway. The journal doesn't tell everything if you are using it as a guide.
Mary: I know. There were a few pages that were ripped away. I am just trying to finish some unfinished business.
Mary picked up the journal from the bag and opened it to the missing pages. She touched the ripped endings with her fingers. Sam tilted his head but then he remembered why those pages were taken away. They talked about Adam and his mother. This was not the time to bring that up, though.
Sam: Oh yeah... I didn't mean that. Someday I will tell you about those pages but not today.
Mary: Now you made me curious, but sure... and Sam, don't say that. If you are angry, you are angry. You have the right to your feelings like everybody else.
Mary spread her bag a bit with her hands and put the journal back inside her bag.
Sam: You don't remember it but when we visited you in the past, John also said yes to an angel to save you. Dean and I made the decision to not be born, to prevent what would happen. That was the simplest way to change everything. I still think in one corner of my mind that if I had not been born, John, you and Dean would have had a happy life, a normal life. I was the only one that was tainted and if I was gone, so would have been their plans.
Mary: Don't say that.
Sam: Look... I know how you feel. You feel guilty. I feel guilty. And the fact is that you would not have died before, and John and many others would be alive if that tiny thing concerning me changed.
Mary: You don't know that. Nobody knows that. When you and Dean were born - those were the happiest moments of my life. So if I didn't have a choice on what I did then the same goes for you. And what I have heard is that you and Dean have done more than your fair share in this world. You two always kept fighting no matter what the odds were. Seeing how you grew up makes this even harder. I am so proud of you but also so sad that I was not part of that life, that I couldn't keep my boys, my family, safe.
You could hear that Mary was upset that her son could even think in his own mind that he mattered that little to others. She even wished in that moment that Sam would have been angry about what she did. Now it felt like he thought he deserved what happened to him, and everything else that was thrown in his way. Sam of course noticed that. He realized that he might have sounded too harsh or realistic to his mother - that she was not used to it. Maybe a small part of the anger did leak out when he explained how he felt because he knew how she would react. Sam sighed and prepared to say something that would make her feel better, but they were interrupted when Dean walked in.
Dean: What's up? You two playing nice or do we need a referee?
Mary: Nothing, were fine.
Dean: Aaaalrighty then... Well, I prepared the food. The turkey is in the oven and the rest is done. Jody and the dynamic duo said hi and wished us Merry Christmas.
Sam: That's great.
Dean: All in a day’s work.
Dean plunged down into one of the chairs, tossed his crossed legs on the table and rested his hands on the back of his head. Dean was in a good mood but he sure as hell would not be happy if he heard what Sam had said. The good news was that he didn’t know about it. Sam and Mary were both quiet. Mary was staring at a glass angel she was holding between her fingers.
Her mind drifted to one of the Christmas celebrations she had when Dean was just a little boy. Sam wouldn't be born for another four months. It was the last Christmas she had before she died. The house had been decorated with Christmas lights and it was snowing outside. All the food was ready for Christmas day and Christmas carols were playing on the radio. Mary was looking outside from the window, gently holding onto the curtain with her fingers so that it stayed on the side. She had a big belly already. She was carrying Dean on her left side with her arm and he was holding his arms around her neck.
"... I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know
Where the treetops glisten
and children listen
To hear sleigh bells in the snow... .... ....."
John dragged the tree inside and he was covered in snow. He stomped his feet on the floor and then he carried the tree to the living room. Mary lowered Dean to the floor and she soothed her belly a bit while Dean dashed and jumped into his father’s arms. John smiled and he glanced at Mary. Mary and John had been arguing a lot this year and they also had had a lot of tough times but Christmas was the time that everything calmed down and the whole family prepared to celebrate it in peace. That was the silent agreement that they both always obeyed.
John: Woah sport! I might tumble down if you ram at me like that.
Dean: Sorry dad… but that is a really big tree!
John: It sure is.
Dean: Can I decorate it?
John: Ask your mother, son. Meanwhile I will need to take care of the yard. I haven’t seen this much snow in years.
Dean: Can I mom?!
Mary: You can but on one condition.
Mary smiled and laughed a bit. John picked up a shovel, opened the front door and headed outside again.
Mary: We will decorate it together.
Dean: Well… Yes, doh!
Dean ran to hold the boxes while Mary first hung the candles on the tree. Then they both tied the popcorn ribbon that they prepared earlier today around the tree, then added the sparkly ribbons. Mother and son were laughing, lost in the moment. This small moment was a glimpse to an alternate reality where the Winchesters were actually happy, even the unborn Sam. Mary and Dean continued to decorate the tree with glass balls, snowflakes and bows, with both heritage ornaments and something new. The last one they picked up was a blue glass angel. Mary lifted it up between her fingers.
Dean: What is that mom?
Mary: This is your Christmas ornament. We bought it when you were born. See.
Mary lowered the angel and showed the bottom of it to Dean. The angel was the same one Mary was holding in the future.
Mary: Here are your initials and the date you were born, January 24, 1979.
Dean: Ooooh... Will the baby get one too?
Mary: Yes sweetie. Want to hang it on a branch?
Dean nodded and Mary lifted him again to her side with her arm. When Dean had stretched and hang up the ornament, Mary touched a blue bow with her fingers. The name Samuel was written on it. Then her hand moved to a shining golden Christmas star that had the name Deanna.
Mary: Like for instance... This one was my father's and this... This one was my mother's.
John came back from outside and stomped his boots again on the floor. Mary turned her head to look at him. He removed his winter clothes and then he eyed the tree up and down. It was simple and homey.
Mary: Is the weather that bad?
John: Nothing I can't handle.
Mary smiled and nodded.
John: I think you forgot something.
Mary: We did?
John walked to the boxes and he picked up a shiny golden star tree-topper in his hand. He walked to the tree and glanced at Dean.
John: You want to put the star on top?
Dean: Do I?!
Dean said over excitedly. John laughed and lifted Dean up in his arms and onto his shoulders. He handed the star to him and then he lifted him higher so he could place the star on right spot.
John lowered him back down and Dean went to take Mary's hand while they watched the tree. She looked just the same as she looked when she was carrying Dean. Dean rested his still tiny hand on Mary's stomach and he leaned closer to whisper something to the belly.
Dean: Merry Christmas baby Sammy.
Mary soothed Dean's hair and the baby seemed to like the wish as it gave a small kick to Dean's hand.
Dean: Mom, did you feel that! He heard me.
In the present time, Mary was still drifting in her own thoughts when Sam decided it was time to break the silence.
Sam: Yeah, so about the food, we only need to check on the turkey from time to time?
Dean nodded and he eyed them both. He saw that he had stepped into an awkward situation but guessed it was better to not ask questions. Mary snapped awake when Sam started to talk and she walked past Sam to check out the decorations on the other side. Now it was her turn to seem busy. Then she suddenly stopped and mumbled a curse under her breath.
Mary: Oh... How could I have been so stupid! For Pete's sake, Mary.
She lifted her hand to her forehead and she sighed, sounding very annoyed.
Dean: What's wrong?
Mary: It is all ruined...
Dean: Hey, heyyy... Come now...
Sam: Mom, don't worry. What is it?
Mary: I have Christmas tree lights and ornaments and EVERYTHING else but I forgot something.
Dean and Sam looked at one another and then at Mary. She dropped her hands to her sides frustrated and then slapped her legs with them while looking at her boys. Sam and Dean lifted their eyebrows in unison.
Mary: The tree! I brought everything else but we have no Christmas tree!
Mary dropped to sit on one of the chairs. She leaned and rested her head on her hands. The memories took a toll on her. She had wanted everything to be perfect.
Dean: Hey, hey... We can... Hmm, we can get one just outside! Don't worry about it!
Mary: Are you... sure?
Mary raised her head back up and she looked at Dean.
Dean: Of course. I mean Cas went to check out if the weather was alright and he hasn’t come back to warn us. We could step right outside and not even go far. Totally safe, right Sam?
Sam glanced at his mother and his brother. To get that tree, even if it was silly, meant a lot to Mary but also Dean in a way. Even though he had a bad feeling about this, he just nodded and said to his mother,
Sam: We will get one mom.
Dean: Will you keep guard of the dinner meanwhile?
Mary: I guess that is my job then... Thank you... And be careful.
Dean clapped his hands together and jumped up from the chair. He and Sam headed to their rooms to get their jackets, gloves and hats. Just in case, they also grabbed the usual weapons and hunter stuff, and a saw for the tree. Then they headed up the stairs and out the door.
Dean: We are heading out now.
Mary: Alright! I will finish here.
Sam: I am not sure we should do this,
Sam whispered when they opened the door and pushed it forward, even though the snow was blocking the way behind it.
Dean: Sam, the curse is gone and we know there are pine trees close by... She is really trying and did you see her? Getting this right means a lot to her.
Sam: Yeah, I noticed... I might have made the situation worse.
Dean: How so?
Sam: Nah, it was nothing. Now let's do this.
The blizzard was as bad as before and the visibility almost zero. Sam took off his scarf and he handed the other end to Dean. It was not wise to get separated or lost in this weather. This at least helped with that. Dean headed to the left and Sam moved right behind him. Soon enough they really did find small pine trees close by. They both took their end of the saw when they found one of the prettiest trees and they started sawing.
All had gone well, much to Sam's surprise and the tree finally tumbled down. Dean's face lit up and he yelled.
Sam was ready to pick the tree up with Dean when a loud rumbling and wood breaking sound was heard around them. Dean blinked and dived for cover immediately when he saw something falling down on them but Sam did not have such luck.
Dean: Watch out!
The top of one of the trees above Sam broke because of the wind. Even though Sam tried to dodge away from under it, he didn't make it. The piece dropped on him. When he fell down on the ground under it, he lost consciousness. Dean saw what happened. He crawled to Sam trying to push the branch away from over him but it didn’t budge. Dean's yell creeped into Sam's consciousness while he drifted away.
Dean: Sam, Sammy!
He tried to shake his brother gently so that he would wake up. For Sam, all went black and quiet.
Sam didn't know how long had passed be he slowly opened his eyes. He stared up to the clear blue sky then he sat up slowly and looked around. There was no snow but it still was winter time so the nature around him looked grim. Sam had a puzzled look on his face. Was this because of the curse?
Sam stood up and he yelled for Dean.
Sam: Dean! Dean!! Come on dude. This is not funny!
The sky had a weird glow and grey ash was raining down from the sky but there were no clouds. Sam wiped the ash off of his cheek and he examined it between his fingers. He blinked and then rushed towards the bunker entrance. When he got there his eyes widened. There was no entrance. The whole thing was covered by a landslide and stone rubble. It also looked like it has been in that state many years.
Sam: What the...
He did not have time to find out what was going on because a yell and commotion nearby got his attention. He immediately ran to the direction of the sound. Maybe it was Dean and he was in trouble?
Man: Help! Heeeeeelp!
If you missed the opening chapters of this story of Christmas in the bunker with the Winchesters, you'll want to go back to read Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3 before continuing. If you want to see later parts go to Part 5 continuing.