Recap – “99 Problems”
The episode is “99 Problems” and I think Sam and Dean have way more than that. Let’s get started.
There have been 99 teasers now and I’m wracking my brain trying to come up with one as intense as this. Nothing comes to mind. “Nightshifter” comes close, but that’s it. The episode starts with the Impala’s speedometer and it’s pushing 90. Dean is gripping the wheel and we see his panicked look in the rear view mirror. Sam is frantic in the passenger seat with bloody shoulder telling Dean to drive faster. Don’t you hear Sam the Impala’s engine pushing as hard as it can go? Any harder and it’ll explode. She’s old for god’s sake. Dean confirms this is as fast as she’ll go. He asks if Sam’s okay and Sam gives a smart ass answer. “I’m amazing.” Dean asks Sam if he’s ever seen that many and Sam says not in one place. Dean doesn’t have much time to discuss theories though, for he fishtails the Impala around a corner and then slams on the brakes just in time to avoid a fiery roadblock.
I should point out this is a Julie Siege script, because if you look at her episodes she’s notorious for causing the Impala harm. She gets it out of the way early. Dean tries to back up but someone smashes in the passenger side window and pulls Sam out of it. Another person gets Dean on the other side. A second later though, a fire hose appears and the people attacking Sam and Dean start smoking. Ah, demons. They yell in agony and suddenly Michael Shanks is on the loudspeaker talking some ancient language. After one sentence the demons smoke away. It’s really interesting that this stuns Sam and Dean, who shouldn’t be surprised by anything given all that they’ve seen. Their shocked faces are priceless.
“Well, that’s something you don’t see every day,” Dean says while Sam is speechless. They get out of the car and Michael Shanks asks if they’re alright. “Peachy,” Dean replies. Hey, that’s my sarcastic line! I use that all the time. Michael Shanks warns that’s they better be careful, it’s dangerous around there. No need to thank them. Dean still pursues, wondering who they are. “We’re the Sacrament Lutheran Militia.” Dean is confused. “Hate to tell you this but those are demons and this is the apocalypse. So, buckle up.” Well that’s a hell of a teaser! Plus Michael Shanks is awesome.
Title card. Blood, water, and there’s plenty of it by the looks of this one.
Now for the part where Sam and Dean must convince this militia that they’re all in the same business. Showing off the trunk of the Impala should work, right? That would make me think Sam and Dean are mercenaries of some sort, but I don’t know how that would convince them they’re demon killers. Or that the tall guy there actually has demon blood and can kill them with his mind. Or that they’re both the chosen vessels for the intergalactic showdown of the century. Oh, I bet they’re going to leave out the last two parts. There’s a believability factor involved when meeting new people.
Dean notices the weaponry they’re carrying and how inspired the truck is. Yeah, why didn’t anyone think of a fire truck of holy water before? Dean wants to know where they picked up all this stuff. At the Wal-Mart of course. The one guy gives a non-answer and I’m thinking Wal-Mart would have at least been funnier. Dean acknowledges that part of the state is crawling with demonic omens and they’re there to help. Sam jumps in essentially saying the same thing, but throwing in some irresistible puppy dog eyes to support his plea. Right, that worked so well with Walt two weeks ago. The three guys look at each other and Michael Shanks invites them to follow. Aww, these guys love puppies.
The title of “99 Problems” shows and aside from being a Jay-Z song, it’s my guess the 99 comes from the fact this is the 99th episode. Am I good or what? Sam and Dean drive in with the truck and it looks like daybreak. It’s kind of smoky or foggy all around. I’m assuming that’s for visual effect. Sam throws his old shirt over to Dean who puts it in the trunk. So, they just wash and stitch up these old shirts? Or is this Dean’s new oil rag? I know, I’m putting too much attention into a shirt, but it’s interesting how they showed that. I personally hope we never see the shirt again, for it’s not my fave. Any chance in season six a keen woman will take these two shopping for some new flannel shirts? They’ll pick them up on the way to the Grand Canyon.
A redhead greets one of the men, who is really her teenage son. She tells him headphones off, this is a church. Right, the world is ending and you’re worried about that? If I were a teenager in that situation, I would be partying at the lake with all the booze imaginable until the lights go out. Sam puts on his jacket to go inside because he knows churches are known to be super cold. That’s because they need to keep all the church goers awake. There’s a mass wedding going on, but people aren’t exactly dressed in white. The patrons are all packing heat and the pastor is trying to sound positive, but he’s so pulling it out of his ass. Sam can’t believe they’re seriously doing a wedding and one of the entourage tells him there have been eight that week. So, does that mean then that the honeymoon never ends until the lights go out? I’d be doing that in Vegas, not Minnesota.
Since I won’t give up on season six here, how about the episode where Sam and Dean get drunk in Vegas and marry two hookers. No? Plot overdone? They could do it Supernatural style. The hookers could end up being Monsters of the Week and get their heads blown off. You’re right, that’s more of a season eight thing.
Everyone is outside sending the happy couples off and the pastor starts with the small talk. He’s heard that they hunt demons. Psst Padre, one of them is practically half demon himself. No, they leave that out, just answering “Yes sir.” “You missed a few,” he jokes. Sam agrees and then holds out his hand and in one swipe gets rid of all of them. Or he answers “yeah tell us about it.” I forget which. Sam wants to know why demons are there. Because demons don’t like wreaking havoc on the big cities. That’s too easy. All the fun is in podunk towns in rural Minnesota.
Sam and Dean follow the Pastor to the basement community room where the town’s citizens are packing. Families are making salt round shells for the shotguns while other kids are cleaning guns. The whole town are hunters now. “A whole town of hunters? I don’t know whether to run screaming or by a condo,” Dean says. Ha! I missed that the first three times I saw this. Another irony is the stage has a happy, cheery sun on the wall and Noah’s ark animals. Yep, sick ironic humor. Must be “Supernatural.”
Sam asks the question that is completely insane for a demon hunter, why not call the National Guard? My first reaction would be because they would NEVER BELIEVE THAT DEMONS ARE REAL. The pastor says something stranger. They were told not to. He doesn’t say why. Dean gives the outsiders view, they’re as locked and loaded as they’ve ever seen and the exorcism they’re using is Enochian. They’re getting instruction from somewhere. So Dean knows Enochian now? He should I guess, but he obviously doesn’t know it well enough where he knows how to translate. I guess that’s why Cas is on speed dial. Nope, padre still won’t discuss it.
Yeah, the Sacrament Lutheran Militia… that alone should make everyone cringe… religious fanatics at work. They just don’t know yet what they will become, soon. How I hate it when fundamentalism does that to people. This show deals with that in a unique manner.
I loved Dean’s line whether to go screaming or buy a condo! Even after all they’ve been through he can still throw a line like that. Loved it. Also Castiel’s voicemail message ‘why do you want me to say my name?’ Priceless! I should put that on my answering machine…
Loved your fight-scene sequence! The best delivery of a knife, ever – throw it into the demon’s back, it falls forward and Dean can pull it right out and kill the other sucker. Great job, Sammy!
And drunken and kinda-already-depressed Castiel… ah, we all know where this is going… Unfortunately it’s not Monty Python… Dean’s last scene proves this again. That was heartbreaking, and it’s clear that we’re not going to have much of a breather before the end, right? Only a few more episodes to go…. Gabriel will appear again, in Trickster mode?, maybe there’ll be a few laughs, but otherwise… I’ll be dead at the end, too, Alice – wanna set up a crypt together? I’ll bring the booze.
Loved this, loved your screencaps – thanks for this, again. It may sound like a broken record, but that’s just how it is.
Cheers, Jas
Great recap as always, Alice. Loved the holy water shot out of a fire hose bit. Way back in season 1 Jensen said in an interview that he’d love to see just that on the show. Nice to see they took him up on his suggestion!
The recap for “Point of No Return” will likely be out by tomorrow. I’ve been working on that too but its WAY harder than this one. So, if you haven’t seen me around lately, it’s because I’m turning my brain to mush in recapping catch up mode!
Evil shrink from hell might provide you with some new brain, coming straight from DocBenton Incorp. Just say the word. 😆
Okay, we got booze, food, new brain tissue… what else could we possibly wish for?! Ah, I know… anyone know how to clone the Winchesters?
Forgive me, I’m just naughty today. 😉 Jas
I’d love to join you all in that crypt. I think it was the clone suggestion that cinched it. Yowza!
Alice, for some reason your recap amused me mightily. Could be because of the religious sarcasm, but you had me giggling through a lot of it. Wasn’t Jane delightful? 😯
Love that Dean could gank the Whore. Maybe Dean has lost his faith but I believe the Big Guy who matters has all the faith in the world in Dean.
Always liked Lisa and I believe that Dean has a shred of doubt that Ben is not his son. Lisa could possibly have lied about that. I read that Kripke denies that Ben is Dean’s son, but he also said there would never be angels and God on his show. If Dean has even a bit of a belief that Ben could possibly be his, is it any wonder that he would want to protect him and his mom? I love him even more for that.
I would like to think that after this show comes to an end I could imagine Dean and Lisa and Ben happily together for ever after. With Sammy and Sara next door of course! They both so deserve it.
Even so, I NEVER want him to say yes to Michael! 🙁 😉
Great recap Alice. Loved the screencaps for the fight scene. Just can’t get that knife action without a video though. Never caught the 99 in the title for the 99th episode either! Whenever I hear the title though, I can’t stop thinking of that song “99 bottles of beer on the wall…..†Silly what things come to mind.
Loved the holy water fire hose, and Dean killing Leah. Good shots of the boys and the wedding too. Glad the ‘whore’ is down for the count!
Your recaps are always so much fun!
I always watch it live, but of course DVR it too to watch multiple times later, & those CW promos have gotten more & more annoying.
I noticed the shirt toss too, & wondered why that was shown. And yes, they really need some new shirts! Although if they are anything like the men in my family, they’ll only wear what they want, no matter what recommendation we ladies make or might buy them.
I adore Michael Shanks & was hoping he’d have more to do this episode. His character rocked the intro scenes, but then just sort of wilted away by the end, only doing the bidding of his shrew of a wife & the Whore & then getting pummeled by Sam. I’m hoping he got his senses back & let those poor people out of the closet.
I do often wonder what becomes of some of the poor bystanders & bewildered “innocents” the guys saved (or the family members of those they couldn’t save)who are left in limbo as the episode ends. Like Pastor Gideon, how did he deal with his daughter’s death. And do the guys tell those who have survived demon possession how not to be possessed again?
(And I still want to know how Bobby ended up getting possessed?!)
Great recap, as usual, Alice!
I like the screencap action sequence there. That was a really good way of showing it because you’re right: how do you write up an action sequence, really? Just let the action speak for itself!
I loved the holy water fire truck. Man, that thing was cool! And useful. I’d love to see Rufus driving that thing around. Man, that would be badass.
And speaking of badass, loved your idea for the CW Thursday night promotion. Some intrepid video-maker out there has to be able to do something like that, right? Please?
Ans lastly, Jas, I know how to clone the Winchesters due to my amazing alchemy skills! But you know that already. I guess this means I’m invited to the crypt, huh? Sweet! It’s going to be quite the party in there.
Hope there is room for me in The Crypt! I would not mind a visit from a cloned Bobby….or John….or..OH! Back to reality!! Just save me a place! Diane (great review by the way!)
Once again , Thank You Alice — yes we are like broken records!!
Really enjoyed this episode and your recap of it.
One of the best action sequences ever and the series of screencaps demonstrated this so well.
I too hated Jane! How dare she blame Dean for the kids death ,just what he needs a little more guilt piling on there.
I loved Drunk Cas and his ongoing battle with phones , I figure at the moment we need to cling to any funny moments like this as I have a feeling they are going to be few of these in the next couple of weeks ( heaven help us )
If there`s room in that crypt , I`ll bring chocolate! Ju
Hi Alice.
Lovely recap, funny as hell. I snorted my way through it respectively 😛
I especially like that you said Michael Shanks alot, hiya there Daniel Jackson! He looked so weird, not nerdy at all 😉 Weird. *snortysnort*
So, this is the only ep that I have watched only once. For some reason it just broke me, and I just can’t rewatch it… for a while anyways… I guess when I get my S5 DVD’s (next year prob.) then I’ll give it a go (or multiple ones) but the way I felt after this one was just… bad. They broke the boys! They broke me! Stupid Kripke *mumbles*
But truly enjoyed your recap, it was hilarious but sad, and very pretty. Thanks! 😀
A wedding with guns? In the south, those are called Saturdays. Thank you, thank you.
I wondered about the Blue Earth thing, too. One doesn’t pick the same very small town twice without a continuity shout out. Of course, why Pastor Jim didn’t have a devil’s trap sitting at the entrance to his secret stash remains a writerly mystery to this very day.
African swallow or European?
Uncle Sam, heh heh. Man, I’m sick of those damn promos, too. Enough with the coy crap, everyone just sleep with everyone and be done with it. Fucking sheesh.
As for Jane blaming Dean, given the context of rampant lunacy, it’s not all that shocking. Most folks don’t think straight on a good day, let alone when the world’s ending. Your kid gets ganked, odds are you might lose a bit of rationale.