Supernatural Fan Crazy Strikes Again!
I know the online saying. Those of us of rational mind say it all the time. “Don’t feed the trolls.†But sorry, sometimes, like with “Jensen vs Jared: I’m Going There†and “Sam Fans vs. Dean Fans, The Saga Continues†I find the need to bring a little sanity into an insane situation. Lately, some fans have gone just plain nuts. From what I understand, Jared and Genevieve and Jensen and Danneel are getting some backlash just for becoming engaged. Some pretty damned vicious backlash. Normally when I read such things, I shake my head, dismiss the crazy, and move on. However, the issue won’t die so it’s time for another reality check.
I get the concept of celebrity. It goes back to what was said in “The Real Ghostbusters.†“Who wouldn’t want that?†Our lives are boring. Their lives are glamorous. We struggle to make ends meet. They’re richer than our wildest dreams. Many out there put actors (and athletes) on these enormous pedestals for the celebrity is better than us. They can do no wrong.
I’m going to let you all in on a dirty secret. Being a celebrity sucks. Think about it. When two computer programmers from Ohio announce their engagement, they don’t exactly get crazy fans writing on their personal websites attacking them viciously over their impending nuptials. They don’t inspire scores of defenders either that attack the attackers and claim that these people are the greatest couple ever and belong together. Why do actors get this sort of attention? Have we become that bored? They’re human after all and usually every day people forced into a not so every day life.
Most actors don’t join the profession to become celebrities. They love acting. It’s no different than when you choose your career, except they’re choosing something that’s way more grueling. If anything, they deserve our adoration for having the guts to pick something far less secure. Acting is one of the toughest professions in the world. Good work is very hard to come by and it’s a demoralizing career. Not only do actors have to deal with the crazy fans out there, but it involves constant rejection and the bosses a lot of time don’t appreciate their work either unless it makes millions. If you don’t believe me, see what Conan O’Brien is doing these days. Money or no money, there’s such a thing as human decency. It so doesn’t exist in the entertainment business.
Many actors become couples. Why? Easy, because the profession is so isolating that they only get to socialize with other actors. For established television actors, the work is long and hard. They spend a lot of time on a set doing repetitive work, waiting around, and have no life of their own except for one day a week for nine months. When the show is over, they go back to being struggling out of work actors. Kiefer Sutherland couldn’t find work for years in between his movie career and 24. Their ups and downs are pretty harsh.
For other television actors and character actors, the work is few and far between and often involves traveling from set to set in various locations not to mention taking other jobs to pay the bills. It’s not glamorous. The finished product you see in TV and movies comes from masterminds in a post production studio. What happens on the set is not like that at all. The days are long, dull and exhausting.
Of course actors bond with other actors. It’s no different than your workplace golf league. So, I can’t fathom that when two actors come together, fall in love and choose to get married, some fans actually get vicious. It defies logic. These are normal people folks trying to make a living. How do you feel when you’re dissed on Facebook? You see, the concept of “celebrity†comes from us, the fans. We created that world, not the actor. Sure, the Hollywood PR machine is a catalyst too, but that’s usually only for A-listers. Normal actors don’t get that kind of attention unless their fan base generates it. Fans post photos on the internet and spend hours online sharing rumors and speculation about personal issues they know nothing about. That so doesn’t happen to an accountant from New Jersey.
Let’s face it, unless you’ve had coffee with someone on a regular basis or see them daily in some capacity, you don’t know them, yet fans often times get online and talk about these actors like they’re best friends. What you see on the screen is not really them. Thus the term “acting.†What comes through in interviews is just a brief glimpse. Actors want to socialize with fans, show their appreciation and want to experience the same things we do a lot of times on Twitter and Facebook. After a while though, it becomes too much. The masses prevent that personalization and the demands become greater than one person can handle. So, the isolation continues. It’s pretty sad.
Actors spend a lot of their off time trying not to get consumed by the idea of celebrity, so I suggest to all us fans we do the same. Share the love and appreciation of the work, share a known quote or behind the scenes story, but when it comes to the deeply personal stuff, respect them the way you would want to be respected. I know it seems like common sense, but in this day of easy online communication and quick chatter, that filter sometimes stops working.
Congratulations Jensen and Danneel! Congratulations Jared and Genevieve! There. That’s all that needs to be said. Moving on. After all, there’s a new episode this week! Let’s honor them the way they should be, with appreciation for a job well done.
Well said, well said.
Some crazy fans were so shocked and angry about the engagement… pure crazy.
Congratulation is really every fan should say. Period.
😀 very, very well said!
I am so with you on that! That is really well said.
Extemely well put! Congrats to both couples. I wish them nothing but the very best for the future (and protection from the crack-head crazy fans!).
I agree, they’re people, just like you and me, they have feelings too and it amazes me how vicious some “fans” can be. There is absolutely NO NEED to be so horrible to anyone let alone someone you supposedly admire. I just don’t get it, nor do I want to. I cannot understand how some people can’t seperate their tv characters from the actual actors, …….. nope, just don’t get it……….*shakes head*
Thank you for this well written article, let’s hope it helps calm some of this madness.
CONGRATULATIONS Jensen and Danneel on your engagement!
CONGRATULATIONS Jared and Genevieve on your engagement!
Thanks for your article. I feel so bad for the actor and/or the person they choose to spend their life with are threatened.
Congratulations to Jensen and Danneel and Jared and Genevieve. I hope they have happy lives together.
AMEN! I’ve been preaching this to the multitudes of fandom friends I have!
Thank you so much for writing this article. I agree completely with everything you’ve said. I hope that both couples are very happy together. Everyone deserves to be happy not harassed for their choices. Some of these fans are just plain scary, enough to make me not want to attend any Supernatural conventions for fear of having to deal with them.
THANK. YOU. I’ve been trying to get this idea into the heads of many for the past few weeks. Hopefully this article will help!
At last a realistic and rational voice in the middle of the madness that turned this fandom!
I subscribe to and agree with everything you wrote. Actors are human beings like any other, with defects and qualities. And they have the right to have a private life, and can live the way they want. I just read an Morgan Freeman’s interview for a magazine in my country and he says exactly that. He wants to be admired for his work, being a competent actor and not want to be placed on a pedestal and serve as an example to anyone. He isn’t perfect. Nobody is perfect. We should all learn this once and for all!
What I have to say to Supernatural fandom: forget who the actors share the covers to. You should to focus on the show and the work they (all in sets, including the actors) have to give us a great show every week. And then after have fun with the show, each one going to take care of your own life and let the actors take care of their lives.
Sorry any grammatical erros but English isn’t my first language.
Brazilian hugs for everybody!!
Alice, this is so incredibly timely and wonderfully well-worded. It’s a reality check a rather sizable chunk of the fandom could really use.
Thank you for this, and bless you. I’m gonna pimp this around.
Cheers ~
Erin
I agree with you 100%!
You wrote that very well, good job 🙂
Congratulations Jensen and Danneel.
Congratulations Jared and Genevieve.
Hear, hear! I’ve very much wanted to get involved in the Supernatural fandom, since I’ve loved the show since Day 1, but there’s just been too much crazy for me to take. I can’t say I’m surprised that this has happened, but I am highly disappointed in my fellow fans who would participate in this sort of behavior.
Thank you for speaking up on the side of sanity!! And on the off-chance that anyone involved sees this, many congratulations to both couples, and best wishes to them all. 🙂
It’s very sad that this needs to be said at all, but thank you for saying it. Hopefully some reality check can set in. I have tried commenting along these lines on those various articles where readers were posting comments and spouting vile hatred and disrespect, only to be told off myself. It is my fervent hope that some sanity prevails within this fandom which is usually intelligent, creative, supportive, and caring. We owe these wonderful actors at least that much. Their work has brought so many positive things into our lives, that it is only fair to return the favor by offering them support and, above all, RESPECT.
Congratulations to Jensen & Danneel and to Jared & Genevieve. Wishing you all the best!
Nice to see some common sense on a SPN fansite. I’ve actually given up on most sites because of the hurtful things I read there. Thank goodness for your site, Alice. You and the people who comment and blog here are a delight to “know” and I try and stop by everyday. Keep up the good work! 🙂
VERY well said, indeed. I couldn’t agree more. It may be fun to speculate about things, but actually posting nasty comments or vicious rumours is just soul destroying for all involved – and when it comes to posting directly to the person involved? Take a moment to take a deep breath and ask yourself – What would my mother think about me saying this to another human being? I’m betting there are a lot of disgusted mothers out there – in addition to those of us who are almost ashamed to call ourselves fans in case we are lumped in with the crazies.
Alice,
Thank you for being a voice of reason always.
I think some folks forget those important life lessons we heard as kids. Here’s a reminder:
“Do onto others as you would have done to you.”
-AND-
“If you have nothing nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.”
None of us will ever be friends with Jensen, Jared, Danneel or Genevieve, but we can be friends with each other. And I am SO grateful for the friends I’ve made through a common love for a TV show. So in addition to saying CONGRATULATIONS to the happy couples, I say THANK YOU for creating so many new friendships!
Sincerely,
Lindsay Warren
Like Dean said, “ghosts i get, but people are just crazy!”
Going mental and confusing reality from fantasy seems to be the new trend. One i hope will never leave the confines of the internet. :roll::
I do’t understand why there has to be such nastyness, Jensen & Danneel, Jared & Genevieve deserve to have a life of their own. I congratulate them on their respective engaements and I wish them every happiness in life. I love the boys, and want tem to be happy and I’m happy for them as everyone should be! 🙂
Amen sistah! Amen. I full heartedly, 100%, more than ANYTHING agree with every. single. word, printed here. 😉
Thank you so much, Alice. Being a little crazy is part of fandom. It’s fun to gossip and speculate and be silly, but there are lines that shouldn’t be crossed. Unfortunately, this fandom has buried that line so far in the sand, I doubt they remember it exists. Honestly, I think it’s only gonna get worse.
🙂
Hear hear!
much love! great post! My sentiments exactly!!!
Lora xxx
Very well said, Alice, and I completely agree with you. Congratulations to both happy couples.
Yes this!
I’ve been amazed at the number of posts I’ve seen that start with “I met them once at…” and end with “that how I know that they…” Those same people would be appalled if someone were to do the same to them.
Thank-you for writing this.
I do agree, but unfortionately it is not that simple, (price to fame) people do care about them, and if you can’t stop the gossip you can help control the slander at least. I do not claim to know anything one way or another, if they marry and it makes them happy I am happy for them, if they were with each other I would be happy for them. I wish they would just get back to the way they were and not be so isolated.
I totally agree with what you said, and wish it could be so, and I wish they could be themselves and be happy, and people could just appreciate them as actors. It is their bond that people are appealed to and why they have so much attention, good and bad. I would make all the slander go away if I could. :cry::
Very well-stated. I completely agree. And thank you for writing and posting it.
I am BEYOND TIRED and PAST IRRITATED from reading comments and tweets where people criticize actors/actresses personal lives and assume that they know “who” they should date/marry/etc. And I find the personal attacks on the people they’re dating to be DISRESPECTFUL to BOTH of them.
Not only do WE (meaning 99.99% of fans) NOT know what ANY of them are REALLY like in real life, but their personal lives are also NOT OUR BUSINESS.
Clearly, compared to some “celebrities,” neither Jensen nor Jared actually flaunt their personal lives to the media .. which means they are NOT looking for that kind of publicity. (And they should be able to eat in restaurants, attend sporting events, etc etc etc without “fans” or gossip bloggers or paparazzi claiming that they are LOOKING for media coverage.)
They have a right to privacy. They do not owe us ANYTHING in regards to their personal lives. It is their right to ONLY tell us WHAT they want us to know, WHEN they want us to know it.
I totally agree with you. Congrats to both happy couples!
After the engagements of the two leads had been announced, I feared this would happen. And I expected it. We’ve heard so much about that kind of indecent behaviour within the Supernatural fandom that it was only a matter of time for that poison to pollute the fan sites. Which is exactly the reason why I ceased paying attention to other sites, I can’t bring myself to read that anymore.
I’m appalled.
You give a splendid analysis of the bonding that occurs between actors, within the kind of isolation you describe, hell, it often boils down to as simple matters as matching working hours. When an accountant gets home at 5pm, the actor might be doing night shoots till 3am… And building a relationship with someone who understands the hazards of the trade is sometimes easier…
It is indeed none of our business. We have no idea who Jensen or Jared are in their private lives. We know their on-screen personas, and even on conventions or in interviews they are not entirely unguarded. And the behaviour you refer to, Alice, proves them right.
If those fans who don’t seem to remember their manners keep this up, it probably will be only a matter of time until these fabulous actors (or any other, for that matter) stop going to conventions or socializing with their fans in whatever way. And, frankly, could we blame them?
Alice, I don’t know whether I should thank you for this – it should not affect me, but it does. I can’t stand the kind of insolent and shameless conduct you mention here. A naïve part of my cortex still wants to believe that these things don’t happen… and when I’m reminded of how wrong I am in relation to that, I feel like walking barefoot on ice…
I am deeply grateful, though, for the reasonable minds that assemble here on our site. The respectful comments that were to be read upon the happy news of two couples deciding to take their love a step further and actually commit to marriage gives me hope that there are others who wish them nothing but whatever they, themselves would wish for their lives.
So – thank you. Jas.
Thank you for your beautiful voice of reason.
Congratulations to Jared and Genevieve.
Congratulations to Jensen and Danneel.
Thanks for the words of wisdom, Alice.
The nonsense swirling around the fandom has been totally uncalled for, hurtful and downright rude. I feel as though we need to apologize to the boys and to Genevieve and Danneel for the rudeness of those thoughtless fans.
I absolutely love the work that both Jared and Jensen do on Supernatural and by and large I’m pleased to be a part of the fandom. But this behavior has just been embarrassing.
I wish both couples all the best in the world.
Well said.
I’m always so disappointed when “the crazies” start giving the rest of fandom a bad name by association.
I really hope something will conk the trolls on the head and they’ll realize how ridiculous they are being.
You’d think as a fan, you’d want Jensen and Jared to be happy and in love. If you hold an celebrity in such high-esteem, shouldn’t that mean that you trust their judgement when it comes to their own happiness?
Alas, some people are just crazy.
All my love and congratulations to Jared and Genevieve and Jensen and Daneel.
Well said, m’dear. I’ve made rants like this on my blog and people just don’t get it. Leave the actors to their personal lives. What they do personally is not going to affect you. And I wholly agree with you on being a celeb. I know quite a few working actors who scramble for roles. The majority eek out a living, and only a select few actually “make it”. Have respect for them, the same as you expect others to have for you.
Oh, yeah. Now everybody comes to thank you for what you’ve written.
I couldn’t care less for what they do when someone shouts ‘that’s a wrap’. Being an actor myself, I’m used to hearing the awful expression ‘they should know they’d be on the spotlight when they chose this career’, like one thing automatically follows the other.
Well said, but half the people who clap you now will gossip about ‘the real couple being Jensen and Jared’ tomorrow.
Well said Alice. They need their own lives too. Hope all goes well for them.
I hope that what people take away from this is that the vast majority of fans ARE happy for Jensen and Jared and are NOT supportive of or impressed by the crazy fans who act this way.
We can’t control the bad apples, and I do believe it is the same tiny minority that are going from place to place spreading hatred and lies.
What we CAN do, is support the actors, and the show, and watch the DVD’s and discuss the meta of the story and the characters. Maybe that’s the best way to be a fan, and leave everything else alone.
You were straight to the point and very well put. It saddens me to see that some fans actually are this crazy. These two couple’s deserve happiness and are real people. Congrats to Jared and Jensen! May their lives be happy with the women they love. Not all fans are this crazy haters. Damn!
This is exactly what needs to be said. Thank you.
Yes, while I do agree with everything you’ve said here, I also have to play devil’s advocate and side with the crazies for a minute.
Yes, the world you described is true for actors. There’s also another side, and yes, it is the evil that is PR. When an Agency or a Talent Manager, Television Network etc has a hot commodity on their hands (such as an actor, or a show/movie with high ratings), they see it as a moneymaker. The more who see it the better. So “PR Stunts” are there-in set up to grasp the media’s attention (namely, the fans and John Q Public in general).
This may be in the form of “Photo Ops”, Convention Appearances, dinners at a trendy restaurant hotspot, charity work and yes you guessed it, even “arranged” engagements.
I absolutely wish Jensen/Danneel and Jared/Genevieve the best and I truly hope they are happy together. Yet, the fact is…THEY were not the ones to make the announcements. Their PR Managers were.
So no matter how much you want to make it the “crazy fans’ faults” for the rather uncouth outcry against it, it’s really just another form of publicity, (which is exactly what The Powers That Be wanted) garnering the fans’ interests (on BOTH sides of the coin…a trap you yourself fell into by posting this. It’s stil publicty and it’s still getting people talking about a specific topic exclusive to one specific platform) which really…there’s an old saying- No Publicity is Bad Publicity.
Let’s face it, they’re in the spotlight. Along with that comes the “crazy fans”. It’s just, unfortunately, how it is.
Thanks everyone for the comments! I’ll admit, I wasn’t expecting all this support. I knew a majority of the fandom was level headed, but this was a message for the minority and how they’re ruining the fun for the majority.
I was expecting more comments about how they’re celebrities as asked for this. The announcements may have come from publicists, and lord knows the PR game in Hollywood is done with the blessing of many of those actors, but that doesn’t excuse bad fan behavior. I think the PR folks for Jensen, Jared, and Supernatural in general have been very respectful toward the show and the talent involved. Now the PR guys for Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, don’t get me started.
Thanks everyone for all your comments. I get warm fuzzies knowing how great this fandom really is.
Thanks everyone for the comments! I’ll admit, I wasn’t expecting all this support. I knew a majority of the fandom was level headed, but this was a message for the minority and how they’re ruining the fun for the majority.
I was expecting more comments about how they as being actors have asked for this. It’s the lifestyle. The announcements may have come from publicists, and lord knows the PR game in Hollywood is done with the blessing of many of those actors, but that doesn’t excuse bad fan behavior. I think the PR folks for Jensen, Jared, and Supernatural in general have been very respectful toward the show and the talent involved. Now the PR guys for Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, don’t get me started.
Thanks everyone for all your comments. I get warm fuzzies knowing how great this fandom really is.
Beautifully said! They do an amazing job and deserve our respect and for their private lives to remain just that: private.
Congratulations to Jensen and Danneel and Jared and Genevieve.
“every day people forced into a not so every day life.”
I stopped reading there. They are certainly entitled to their privacy, but to act as if they were forced into a life spent partly in the public eye is ridiculous.
It is a shame that celebs sometimes have their privacy violated in stupid, spiteful ways, but to imply that they did not have a choice in their vocation is just plain silly.
I agree with you that actors should not have their privacy encroached on in any way, let alone in a vicious manner as was done for Jared & Genevieve’s guest book.
However, to say that actors deserve our adoration for choosing a career path that is “more grueling” than ours? Bullshit. They may work long hours and stand around waiting for shots, but many people work 60-80 hours per week earning a fraction of what they earn. They’re in the job for the compensation, not because they’re self-sacrificing artists.
I’ve been a lawyer for ten years and I’ve never worked less than 70 hours per week. Should I receive adoration from others because of my career choice? Of course not. You’re putting them on the same misguided pedestal that you’re accusing others of using.
I quit reading at “being a celebrity sucks,” and just skimmed the rest.
They make more in a year than I’ll probably make in my lifetime. Don’t tell me that the only reason they do it is because they love acting– there’s a hell of a lot of perks, not to mention having their every whim catered to. They could be working in community theater making minimum wage if love were their only motivation.
Sorry, Alice, I actually quit reading your blog months ago because of all your sucking up to the SPN PTB. You are far from impartial. I’m sure you’ll delete this comment, but this piece is just more of the same.
Hi Alice. Jensen and Jared are victims of a unique situation that is not typical hollywood gossip ala “Brangelina”.You’re too polite to say what’s on most of our minds. The Jensen/Danneel, Jared/Gen debaucle all comes down to the crazy tin hat slashers. As long as high profile people like Ted Casablancas fuel the fire of their “Secret undying love”, the tin hatters will continue to hack into wedding registries, and slam the prospective brides on any site with an open comments section. Its not bad enough they pollute with arguably the most offensive slash on the internet, but since the engagements, they have made me afraid to say Im part of the fandom.
ok serious stuff over. When my sister and I read about Jared’s engagement we giggled all day saying “ooooh he’s gonna be in so much trouble when Dean finds out” 😆
Ah, there you bashers are! It took you all day to get here! I suspciously notice that every time I write one of these articles, you show up in threes.
I don’t delete posts unless they’re insulting to other posters. Bash me all you want, but I do draw the line at multiple posts of bashing while practially saying the same thing. If I take the bashing away from Jensen, Jared, Danneel, and Genevieve and have it geared at me, I can deal with that. I know a few of you out there will explode if you can’t rip on someone so let me be your target today. Plus, it’s strangely always the same names. Thank you so much for proving my point.
For the record, I’m a computer programmer that works on average about 40 hours a week. I’ve always made crazy money for the amazingly boring work I do. So, ANYONE that works 70 hours a week has my adoration. If you may have noticed, my article was specifically addressing celebrities, so I didn’t go on to other specific professions.
Sucking up? Oh, then you haven’t read my posts about Hookman and Bugs lately. 😆 If you notice, this is a FAN site.
Alice, I agree with you. Fans do not know Jared and Genevieve, Jensen and Daneel. They have no right to make baseless claims or insulting remarks. As with any couple who announce their engagement, we should offer them congratulations and wish them the bast.
Unfortunately, the Internet gives people the ability to post remarks anonimously. People would never criticize a friend about their engagement, but they think they can criticize actors, just because they watch their show.
Fans do not have some super-special inside knowledge of actors, including Jared and Jensen. I just roll my eyes when I see comments like: “Well I was at a convention, and I could tell that Jared/Jensen . . .” I just want to reach through the computer and slap their hand and tell them, “No, you do not have a tingly spider sense, only Spider-Man does. No, you are not a ‘natural sensitive’ like Mrs. Armstrong in Wishful Thinking so smugly and wrongly asserted she was. You are just a fangirl who has overstepped boundaries and let your own fantasies and desires cloud your judgment and ignore the facts.”
I’ve never “bashed” anyone, but I did have some serious problems with your article.
Actors deserve exactly the same amount of respect as other people and it is insulting to the fans and to the actors to imply that they deserve MORE respect because their career is “more grueling” than and they were “forced into” it.
I’m glad that you have a high-paying job, but there are a lot of people that work much harder for much less money because they have no other choice. Don’t belittle people with regular occupations to preserve this idealistic view of actors.
Again, I am not refuting that they should have more privacy protection than is currently afforded them in the law and definitely less fan-involvement with their personal lives.
It’s so sad that so many fans can’t seem to understand what you’re saying. If we truly care about and respect Jared and Jensen, then we need to leave their private lives alone and trust them to make their own decisions. That includes who they want to marry. I hope that fandom can take a step back and think a little before we destroy what we have here.
Alice, Great article regarding privacy, boundaries, and reality. Just be aware that this article was linked to from a gossip site, so beware some rather insane comments.
Thank you, Alice. I couldn’t agree with you more. All Jared and Jensen owe us is their best work, and boy, do we get that from them in spades.
I want to add my sincere best wishes to Danneel and Jensen and Genevieve and Jared. May they have many, many happy, healthy years together,.
Thanks again, Alice, for this website of calm and sanity and wonderful discussion about an amazing show.
Maybe I’ve been living under a rock (it’s true I only just got back onto supernatural.tv after a long time of being too busy) but I haven’t seen or heard any backlash at all about the actors’ engagements. :-?: Or maybe it’s worn off in the last week or so, since I’ve gotten involved again.
Guess I only go where the sane fans are? Good for me!
Seriously my friend told me to go on twitter and search Danneel Harris,she said you wouldn’t believe what came up – i was horrfied the abuse she has been getting is unreal, people calling her a racist and other just …. i was actually speechless i was so horrified. Imagine if that was yor friend. I think people tend to forget that they’re real people and not commodities!
Also almost as disgusting someone found the password to Jared and Genieves wedding list, put it on the internet and people have been going on the site and leaving them nasty comments – i’m sorry it’s just not right.
I don’t know Jensen or Jared or any of their friends or family but it still makes me angry that people think they have the right to treat anyone this way. Who the hell do theythik they are? They ar not fans whatever they claim! Also on a personal note it makes people wary of their fans – 99.9% of us are normal but there are those few that take it too far. All we want to do is be entertained, talk about our favourite show but we end up getting tarred with the same brush as some hate filled moron. It makes me so angry for them!
I’m just so glad that i can come on here and just talk about the show with normal people…. this is like a haven against the crazy!
You’re doin’ it wrong.
I agree with the basic concepts that you’ve mentioned here. These people owe you nothing.
I dream of the day when PR firms will be compensated for marketing film industry earners the way executive corporate recruiters do, not for treating them as commodities.
That said, how about we send Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer good wishes, instead? They announced their upcoming wedding publicly on their sites.
Three of the four people directly involved with this news have said nothing publicly. I’m saving further congratulations, etc. for when they choose to say something on their own to the world… and not when The Machine says it. Maybe I’m going overboard in some people’s minds, but I don’t want to be a fan of a PR firm or a spokesperson making a marketing decision.
I fail to see the positives that the four of them get from any site discussing it or hating on the haters. Oh, wait, it’s hits, isn’t it?
Aren’t you still shining public light on a topic that the As and Ps obviously would like to keep to themselves, where it belongs? Can we please honor that? They don’t need martyrs defending them. Thanks.
This is indeed as fascinating as it is disturbing. Sentences torn out of context, people reading some meaning into Alice’s article according to their own template.
I didn’t mean to get into this any further, but somehow my mind just won’t cease to push me.
Of course, many people who choose to go into acting know for the most part what they are going to expect (and there are those who are pushed into the business by over-ambitious parents and simply go on in the business because they haven’t learned anything else, of course, and those sometimes end up on my couch). It is a conscious choice, yes.
They know that their privacy might be invaded by people not belonging there, that they will have to do publicity work they might despise and answer questions of journalists and fans alike they have answered a thousand times, that there will be comments on their lives that might be hurtful.
Of the actors I’ve known in my life (mostly theatre strugglers who sometimes don’t know how to pay the rent next month) only one has become a well-known person which enables him to get better roles and actually have a say in what he wants to do instead of having to take on any job for the money alone. ‘I was young, I needed the money’ is unfortunately not a cliché, it’s very true.
But choosing that profession does not mean they have to like every aspect of it. It might just be a cost-benefit calculation over and over again – is the price I have to pay to do this job that I love worth it?
Every one of us sometimes probably complains about the job we chose. With what I’m doing, I’ll never get rich. I work many hours on – compared to some of my colleagues – low pay, because what I’m doing makes sense to me. For me the satisfaction comes with what I see I can do and that some people have a shot at a better life because I might have said a few right sentences. I’ll never be able to buy those gorgeous 300-bucks-shoes because I chose my branch. Had I wanted to make big money as a psychologist, I would have gone into advertising, military or ‘enhanced’ my clientele with celebrity, nobility, entrepreneurs, as some of my colleagues do. But I chose to not wanting to nurse narcissism (which is what most of them do, with exceptions) but try to do something I find meaningful.
There’s no one to blame but me if I don’t find every delight in this job I’d like to find. The verbal attacks I listen to sometimes are not easier to stomach that what seems to be going on within some parts of the fandom. But they-chose-this-job-so-they-have-to-take-what-comes-with-it just doesn’t fit.
Lack of civility on the fans’ part is not mentioned in their job description.
Having your job exposed to criticism comes with the trade, be it acting, advertising, law, journalism, whatever. Some people will not agree with what you do. That’s okay. We all know that.
The line needs to be drawn the moment that criticism begins to turn into a personal attack or hits the personal lives of the people in question. Then it shows far more about the person doing the bashing than about the – in this case – celebrity meant to be bashed. A guidebook example of a manners- and probably brain-free zone within the skull.
Of course, the moment we discuss the subject, we also become a part of this gossip machine, yes, but there is a difference – here I haven’t read one single strike below the belt in regard to the engagements of these actors. There have been – for the most part – comments that meant to show the fandom (and perhaps the actors, too): ‘Hey, look, I’m different! Those bile-mouths are only a small part of this fandom.’
To be completely free of gossip in whatever form we shouldn’t be commenting on the matter at all. Aha, they got engaged, noticed that, move on…
However, even if I don’t really like it, I’m not entirely free of that. I felt my heart leap when I read these news and was happy so see someone finding a shot at bliss. I was also delighted when Kate Winslet or Cate Blanchett got their Oscars, because I just love those actresses, even though it is none of my business at all. I was glad to read that our mayor had been rewarded with a prize because I respect what he did to gain that.
None of that is, in truth, any of my business.
The moment we care about someone or something, we become biased. And this is perfectly alright if it is executed in a respectful way and if we are aware of that. Then we chose to be exactly that, in this case in defence of the privacy of two (or rather four) people we don’t know, but care about, albeit from afar. So far the level headed minds here have not said anything that would bring me to the conclusion that they laid claim to being a part of their lives.
The only demand we have is decency. And if Alice feels compelled to write an article and expose her views to criticism to make that point again (even though it has been made various times so far, but sometimes a reminder is needed… have you seen the amount of tweets?), so be it. My support is there. Jas
Everywhere I go someone’s
tryin’ to by my girlfriend’s best friend.
I try to pretend I’m relaxed,
but I’m playing castanets with my knees.
I try to be cool and give her space,
but a guy’s always there ready
to jump right up and take my place.
Everyone in this room seems
to want to make a big fool out of me.
Everybody open your mouth,
(Everybody, everybody…)
Everybody just say “ahh”.
(Ahh, ahh, ahh…)
Everything will be alright
if you play along.
Everywhere I go there’s someone in a trenchcoat staring at me.
When I’m not at home I’m sure someone’s
rumaging through my trash.
Whatever could they want from me?
Is it just a part of a giant government conspiracy?
I gotta go see my doctor about this itchy pentagram shaped rash.
Everybody open your mouth,
(Everybody, everybody..)
Everybody just say “ahh”
(Ahh, ahh, ahh..)
Everything will be alright
this won’t hurt at all.
Everybody get in line,
(Everybody, everybody..)
Everybody turn and cough,
(Ahh, ahh, ahh..)
Everything will be alright,
if you just lay off.
Dictate a memo to myself,
Try to find if I’m the only one in complete health.
Consult contemporaries if there are some to see.
There really isn’t anyone who’s in my league
But me..
Every night in the lane someone thinks
they’ve got to find beyond me.**
I try to take three deep breaths
as I lock in on my mini-van.
Everyone says I’m looking great,
but it’s hard to stand up
let alone to try to concentrate.
I wish that everyone I knew hadn’t
sold out to the man.
Everybody open your mouth,
(Everybody, everybody..)
Everybody just say “ahh”
(Ahh, ahh, ahh..)
Everything will be alright
this won’t hurt at all.
Everybody get in line,
(Everybody, everybody..)
Everybody turn and cough,
(Ahh, ahh, ahh..)
Everything will be alright,
if you just lay..
everything will be alright if you just lay off.
Just wanted to add my ‘Well stated’ and that I agree. Sometimes it’s not too much effort to be happy for people that are happy. Sharing the link.
The only possible polite response to the announcement of any engagement to be married, whether it is a celebrity couple or one’s oldest friend who may be making the worst mistake of their lifetime, is “I hope you’ll be very happy”.
To say anything else 1)displays a breathtaking sense of entitlement and 2) is extraordinary bad manners.
(In my culture, the old-fashioned approach, if it was a heterosexual engagement, was to congratulate and man and felicitate the woman. But I think that has been overtaken by the more recent developments on equality.)
Chapeau, Faellie, that’s the approach in my culture, too. Old fashioned manners are certainly to be treasured… I wish they were more.
Cheers, Jas
I want to hear it from Jared Padalecki not read some good intentioned fan-girl drivel.
Jared wouldn’t admit to having a girlfriend then he wouldn’t admit to having a fiance. Will he admit to having a wife?
If he loves Gen that much then he should be willing stand-up for her and ask fans to back off. What’s he so afraid of?
It’s time for Jared to act like a man.
Took a tour through spngossip lately and now I feel like the upcoming episode should be called “Fangirl interrupted”
Thank you for writing this article!! All I have to say is: Amen!
Excuse me, I come here for TMZ-style reporting, not discussion about the fruit of their acting labors. Sheesh.
Hi Alice! I’m not an SPN fan but I was linked to your blog by a series of unfortunate clicks. Anyhow, I’m really surprised by all the positive comments you’ve gotten because this piece really didn’t sit well with me. I understand that you are close to the SPN cast and want to defend them against the gossip mongers but some of your comments are disrespectful and incredibly skewed.
I read an above comment in which you insisted you were not putting down other “ordinary†professions but you very clearly are by claiming acting is more grueling than what us peons get up to.
Have you ever been on the job search? Every one faces rejection, many without ever having the possibility of making millions. Then a reference to Conan O’Brien? I love Conan but he is going to get a hefty pay out AND has FOX and cable channels nipping at his heels. Conan himself wrote a letter to the public specifically telling them not to feel sorry for him because he, unlike yourself, is aware of the immense privilege that celebrity begets.
I found this comment to be the most disrespectful. I don’t know if you realize this, since you’ve clearly been swept up in the grueling world of acting, but we are in a world wide recession. There are people who have been searching for jobs for over a year. There are families that have lost their homes because they can no longer make payments. We also have a global healthcare crisis. Just in the United States thousands of people die every year from conditions that could have been prevented if they had access to quality healthcare. Not to mention costs of post secondary education are skyrocketing even in the public sector. Now Keifer Sutherland may have had a really tough time when in between jobs but did he ever have to worry about losing his house or paying for his kid’s education? Was there ever a time that Keifer Sutherland, during his “pretty harsh†ups and downs, not been able to pay for an emergency room visit?
Basically Alice, there are some drawbacks to celebrity, namely the invasion of privacy. But to proclaim like you did above that being an actor is one of the most grueling, demoralizing and exhausting professions is utter bullshit. If being an actor is a job you’d put in the top 10 of grueling, demoralizing and exhausting you have not been exposed to much. I implore you to pick up the newspaper and read about people with really crappy jobs or just read about Mayor Cory Booker who is doing something he loves and stands for without taking in millions a year. I really do understand the point of your post, tell the crazies to back off, but as someone said above, through your comments you too are positioning celebrities on a pedestal. The only difference is that in your scenario we should pity them and not be in awe of them. In any case, I wish you the best of luck in giving the crazies a talking to. I would suggest that you do so with a more objective eye in the future.
Great article, Alice.
Truthfully, I think it’s rather sad that an article like this even has to be written. I hope that most of the fans that act this way are just youngsters who just don’t know any better.
Just because they’re well paid, doesn’t mean that they deserve this disrespect. They definitely have the right to be with whomever it is that they love without any input from the fans, other than to wish them well.
Yes, Alice, I do agree with your article. I had no idea this kind of garbage was going on on other so called fan sites. Thank goodness this is the one I can usually come to and enjoy instead of being sickened.
I see unfortunately that some of the crap has migrated over here. These people must be very sad indeed and can only enjoy when they are dissing something or somebody.
I love the boys and wish them nothing but enduring happiness along with their significant others. (Though I must admit I would love to be the one Jensen is engaged to. In my dreams, I hope. LOL!)
Why anyone would want to hurt the ones they supposedly are big fans of is beyond me. What execrable bad manners indeed!
I wish for long and happy lives for Jensen and Danneel, Jared and Genevieve. God bless you!
Thank you for writing this, Alice. It should be required reading for everyone in the Supernatural fandom.
Everyone who has had a job knows, their job security or ability to get another job depends on how well they can perform that job. There is always some sort of “review”. For a lawyer, it is whether or not he can win the case, or reach an acceptable plea bargain. A sales clerk, how well does he serve his customers? An actor, they are judged by the performances they give. As they all should be judged by those things.
Many here will not agree with me, but I thought Jensen Ackles did horrible job acting in a horrible movie in MBV. Does that make me a hater or a basher? No. Im giving my customer review of a movie, I payed, I saw it in 3d, and will not watch it again. That is my right to say. I am talking about how well he did his job. But the negative comments about these weddings, are no longer about those jobs.
This article is 100% correct. I can give advise to my friends, but after that it is their decision what to do with their lives. But I have never met Jared and Jensen, and most people bashing them have not. And I would wager only 1 or 2 beyond the interviews they give about SPN. If that. If they decide to get married, then good for them and Congradulations, I hope they do well.
Everyone deseves respect for their personal lives, (regarless of their profession), as this article has said, and the actors are not getting that respect. We have no more right to pry into or judge their personal lives, then we do the neighbor 4 houses down that we wave to but have never actually talked to.
As a fan of SN, all I can say to Jared, Jensen, Gevevive and Daneel, is Congradulations and I hope you will be very happy.
Hear! Hear! Very well said.
It still stuns me the lengths to which some fans will obsess over actors and presume that actors should behave according to the storyline scripted in these fans’ heads. No doubt these fan types are frightening to these actors, and I applaud the security teams that keep them safe.
I wish Jared and Genevieve, Jensen and Danneel much love and a lifetime of joy and happiness with each other.
OO, late in the party I see 😉
Well, I don’t really have to say anything since your article pretty much says it all. I whole heartedly agree.
Thanks for this and I too wish Jared & Genevieve, Jensen & Danneel all the best.
I guess everyone has put their scent-marks into the mix by now, so can we move on now and concentrate on what we love about this show?
;-), Jas
I haven´t, Jas 😉
I am so missing these so important facts for my life. If I wasn´t such an avid reader of your site, Alice, I wouldn´t even know they got engaged. And, reffering to this article: what the hell is going on? I guess, I´m such a lousy fan, not knowing what´s going on in J & J´s private life.
Okay, sarcasm aside (I´m Dalmatian, so, please, bear with me ;-)), I will try to be serious now, because I just have to add my share here.
A couple of weeks ago I accidentally came across a youtube video (I thought it was about the Vancouver-con, don´t ask me how) where someone actually took the time to make a video “proving” that J & J were lovers, and the whole girlfriend thing was just PR. I was disgusted. Not with the possibility that they are or not, but with this incredibly rude invasion into their private lives. So, I´ll just iterate what many of you have said here: It´s non of anybody´s business!
Alice, this was a great article. And may I also compliment your comment, Jas. You two nailed it.
I don´t agree, that whatever comes with the job one should agree with. I run a hotel, love the interaction with my guests, even made friends for life, but I hate the grueling interaction with the authorities and their sometimes ridiculous regulations, they make me take a Winchester and shoot. But, it´s part of the job, a part I didn´t choose when I chose the job, and it´s there whether I like it or not, I cannot bypass it, it´s not my decision (you guys are smart, you know what I´m trying to say here, right?). And the least thing we can do is be respectful and polite, and things work out fine for both parties involved.
Every human being has the right to be free and respected. As much as I admire actor´s work – I just love the movies – as much I admire my scavenger, just imagine what the world would look like without anyone collecting the garbage and taking care of it. They all have my full respect, and I don´t care who they share their bed and table with. And I expect the same from them.
Now, that shouldn´t be so grueling, should it?
Cheers, Lara
NOW let´s move on!
🙂
Amen, sista.
Hey, wait … Who’s engaged?
Suze, dear, where have you been? Missed your comments… Come back, again, soon… :-), Jas
Thanks Alice for putting this out there. Folks swoon and scream over these 2 nice guys….and sure, they’re on TV, they are handsome and talented…..but they are just people. I’m in the medical field where I have one-one-one face-to-face personal time with 5000 patients a year. I meet nice people all the time. I’ve met Jared and Jensen briefly at a couple cons….they are just 2 nice Texas boys. That’s all. And I hope them all the best. Hope this fan craziness doesn’t turn them off of fan interactions.