It’s that time of year again! This is when I pour through every detail of every episode of the season and figure out which qualify for the over forty completely irrelevant and arbitrary categories that I use for these awards every year. Here’s part one, or 14 categories that follow no specific order or reasoning.
For the second year running, Crowley takes the prize. Sure by the end of the season his butchering of non-verbose monsters with unabashed wit and cruelty in his blood soaked torture chamber grew tiresome, but with Crowley you never know what’s coming out of his mouth. Here are some of his best soundbites:
“That swan-dive of Sam’s, a thing of beauty. 10’s all the way ’round, standing O from the Romanian judge. You should be proud, Bobby, as stats go, it wasn’t too shabby. Cheer up, mate, we just saved the sodding world together!”
(Mimics Bobby) “I want ma soul back, ya ijit!” (Pointing to himself) “‘Fraid not.” “But I’m surly and I’ve got a beard, gimmee! Blah blah blah, homespun cornpone insult. Witty retort from yours truly. The bottom line is, you get bupkus. Are we done?”
Dean: Since when do you give a crap about vampires?
Crowley: Since. . .what’s today, Friday?–none of your business.
“SO! We clear? Me Charlie, you Angels.”
“You’d sell your brother for a dollar right now, if you really needed the soda.”
“Castiel, haven’t seen you all season.”
“Ah yes, but is that all you’re holding? The stench of that Impala is all over your overcoat, angel–I thought we’d agreed–no more nights out with the boys.”
“This is NOT how synergy works!”
“Submit or die? What are you, French? How about resist?”
“I know two eerily seated Teen Beat models twirling their hats.”
Dean: Let ’em go, NOW or I swear I’ll. . .
Crowley: You’ll rip me a cornucopia of orifices. Let’s get to the bit where I tell you how this goes–your chocolate’s been in my peanut butter for far too long.
Dean: I’m going to kill you.
Crowley: I’ve got your–what are they?–ex-lady friend and not-kid and am keeping them until I’m satisfied that you’ve BACKED THE HELL OFF!