"Long Distance Call"
--Robin's Rambles by Robin Vogel
A man stands in his study, nervously drinking. His phone, showing caller ID SHA33, keeps ringing; it's a woman named Linda who professes her love, asks if he loves her, yet he keeps hanging up on her. Finally, unable to tolerate the phone calls, he destroys the phone--but it rings anyway! Done, he takes a gun from his desk drawer, looks up, says, "You win, I'm coming," presses the gun under his throat and fires, blood and brain matter spattering the phone.
Sam walks across a rainy square to meet Dean, who is seated on a bench and has just spoken to Bobby about a case of a banker blowing his head off. Sam objects--they're trying to get him out of his deal! Dean reminds him they've tried everything, gone everywhere, they can't find Bela or the Colt. Sam wants to summon Ruby, but Dean finally tells him she confessed she CANNOT save him. Sam's angry Dean kept this huge secret from him; Dean wants to know who has been keeping secrets from whom, Sam walks away, hurt. Sam agrees they'll go to Ohio and take the case.
Milan, Ohio - The Winchesters (the second set of detectives to show up, of course) question Mrs. Waters, who describes the scene: dead husband, favorite Scotch on the desk, phone ripped from the wall. Sam looks over the calls on the phone and notices her husband's death coincided with the SHA33 call. She overheard her husband a few nights back talking to a woman named Linda, but when she picked up the other line, all she heard was static.
Hotel - Dean, on the computer, notes what a babe Linda was--she died in a car accident in which Ben walked away. Linda was cremated, so why is she still hanging around? Sam learns that SHA33 is a phone number used when phones had cranks. They'll have to trace it, but where?
Phone company - Down in the dank basement, the brothers (calling themselves Mr. Campbell and Mr. Raimi from HQ) find flies (hygiene issue, says boss Mr. Clark), and Stewie Meyers, his lunch garbage everywhere, trying to insist porn on his computer screen is spam. Dean advises him to get a Platinum membership to Busty Asian Beauties, it's worth it. Stewie tells them the number they asked him to trace is prehistoric and he'd have to re-arrange his whole life first. When Dean points out all his employee code violations, including the porn on his computer, he strongly advises him to DO IT! Stewie gives them an eerie print-out--while he can't tell them where the number came from, he shows them that it went to 10 houses over the past two weeks. Stewie hopes they're done; he wants to go back to his own interests.
Sam climbs out of a silver rental car and knocks at the door of a yellow house. He asks Mr. Greenfield, his teenage daughter and little boy if they've had trouble with their phone--dropped calls, etc. No, replies Mr. Greenfield. Lanie, the daughter, who had given Sam a strange look, meets him as he's getting into the car. No way you work for the phone company, she says, with that cheap suit and rental car. He suggests both of them are keeping secrets--did she hear any strange voices on the phone? She claims no, but he leans across the car and confidentially tells her he's been in her shoes, hearing and seeing things that can't be explained--maybe he can help. Maybe, she says--I've been talking with my mom--she's three years dead! She's called a few times, starting a week ago. You're not crazy, Sam assures her. As Sam is driving, Dean calls to report he spoke with a woman who's been having phone sex with her husband--who died in Korea!--"Completely rocked my understanding of the word necrophilia," adds Dean. A gal in a very short skirt eyes him weirdly, and he watches her walk away. They aren't sure what's going on, but Dean says this place is turning into Spook Central (shout out to GHOSTBUSTERS). After hanging up with Sam, Dean's phone rings. He answers, "Dean, is that you?" "Dad?" asks Dean, stunned.
Hotel - Agitated, Dean talks to Sam about the phone call from. . .Dad? Why are ghosts calling anybody in this town, they wonder. Dean, wanting to believe it, asks, "What do I say if he calls back?" "Hello?" replies Sam. Dean is so pissed off at that response, he leaves. When he returns later, Sam is researching on the computer. "Find anything?" asks Dean. After three hours, Sam knows of no reason why anything supernatural is happening in this town. After a Stanford education and a high school hookup rate of 0.0, quips Dean, you'd thing you'd produce better results than that. Hilarious, says Sam. Dean found something--in the hotel's pamphlet rack--Thomas Edison!
The brothers are taking a tour that includes Thomas Edison's Talking Spirit phone and an annoying quotey fingers guide who keeps saying, sing-song, "And we're walking. . .â€ Edison was an occultist who created a phone he was convinced could communicate with the dead. â€œOooooo, spooky!" Left alone with the phone, Sam's EMF meter produces nothing, and he says it looks like a pile of junk. He doubts it has anything to do with what's going on around town. "So maybe it really is Dad," mutters Dean.
At the motel, Sam lies asleep. Dean, awake, sits at a table, phone and a cup of coffee in front of him. His cell phone rings, SHA33--it's John Winchester! Dean sneaks into the bathroom and closes the door. "How could you do it?" asks John--"Sell your soul?" Dean says he was looking after Sammy, like John told him to do. "I never wanted this," says John, "never--yYou're my boy, and I love you, I can't watch you go to hell, Dean." â€œI don't know how to stop it,â€ Dean explains. "I know a way out," says John, "the demon who holds your contract is here, now."
At her computer, Lanie hears from SHA33--MOM--who wants to see Lanie. I did see you, at the cemetery, Lanie reminds her. Mom wants something else. Lanie, terrified, sees her mother in her computer screen, sliding her hand over her shoulder. Lanie leaps from her chair and turns off her computer. It goes back on by itself and the words COME TO ME begin to sprawl across the screen over and over, faster and faster. Lanie backs away, horrified, not knowing what to do.
Hotel - Sam reports to Dean that Lanie's mother spooked her really badly last night. Dean shows Sam demonic omens everywhere; they've been around for the past two weeks, proving John right. Sam doesn't recall any lightning storms. Dean doesn't remember his brother studying meteorology as a kid, eitherâ€”he, Dean, is being tailed by this demon, he's big game, too big to let out of sight! Sam finds it hard to believe their father knows an exorcism that can KILL a demon. Heavy-duty dark ages stuff, says Dean, 15th century. Bobby and I checked it, says Sam, there is no evidence it can kill a demon! No evidence it can't, counters Dean--Dad's been to hell, maybe he knows a few things--a couple of civvies are freaked out about ghosts--that's normal! Did Dad tell you where to find the demon? I'm waitin' on the call! shouts Dean. Seeing Sam is leaving, Dean says, "Go, hang out with jailbait--watch out for Chris Hanson, I'll be here getting ready to save my life." Realizing Sam is really going, Dean says, "You're unbelievable, you know that? For months, we've been tryin' to break this demon deal, now Dad's about to give us the address and you can't accept it? He's dead and you're still buttin' heads with the guy?" Sam reminds him they have no hard proof here, and Dean is still going on blind faith. "Maybe that's all I got, OK?" cries Dean. "Please," begs Sam, "don't go anywhere until I get back?" Dean sits down, pissed off.
At her house, Sam asks Lanie what her mother said. That she wanted to see me, explains Lanie, so I went to the cemetery. Then, she started asking me to do bad things. In Simon's room, his toy phone rings. He answers it--Mom, from SHA33! She asks to see him. "Yes, Mommy, I want to see you, too!"
Hotel - Dean gets another call from John. "Dad, where's the demon?"
At Lanie's, Sam is trying to coax Lanie to tell him what her mother wanted her to do--it's very important. "Mom told me to go to Dad's medicine cabinet," she sobs, "Take ALL his sleeping pills! Why would my mom want me to do that? Just so I would come to her?" Sam asks Lanie to repeat that. "Come to me, like a million times," says Lanie. "Lanie," says Sam, "that's not your mother."
Dean arrives at his destination in the Impala.
Sam orders Lanie her not to use her computer or the phone unless he says to. She notices her brother is gone.
Dean enters a house. Hello? he calls.
Simon is walking across a busy street, mindless of passing cars.
Dean drops a rosary into a large jug of water and spray paints a Devil's Trap on the floor.
A giant Mack truck, the driver intent on a manifest in his hand, heads directly for Simon, and only Sam scooping him out of harm's way at the last second saves the boy's life. They fall harmlessly on the grass.
Back in the rental car, Sam tells Dean it's not Dad; they're dealing with a crocotta--a scavenger, mimics loved ones, whispers "come to me," then lures you into the dark and swallows your soul. Dean remembers the flies at the phone company--these things live in filth.
Phone company - Sam looks in the window and sees Stewie leaving. He calls Dean ("This is Herman Munster") and has to leave a message to meet him--and quickly. Sam attacks Stewie, pressing a knife to his throat--"I know what you are--and I know how to kill you!" Stewie assures him he can fix it if they're overcharging him for call waiting--"Don't kill me, please!" Sam seems puzzled at the man's cowardice. Behind Sam appears Clark Adams, brandishing a baseball bat. Stewie dances, "Yeah, that's what happens when you mess with the phone company, dillweed!" "Thank you, Clark!" "Forget about it," he boss, says, and whacks him with the bat, too.
Phone company - When Sam comes to, he and Stewie are tied to chairs in the control room. Poor Stewie is pleading with Clark for forgiveness for whatever he did to him. Spotting a knife in his hand, Stewie says, "You're not a killer, Clark, there's a good man inside of you, I know it!" "What do you think, Sammy?" taunts the crocotta, "am I a good man?" "Just let him go," urges Sam. "I really would," says Clark, "if only I'd had more than a salad for lunch--"I'm starving." He plunges the knife into Stewie's heart. "NO!" screams Sam, but it's too late; Stewie's head falls to his chest. Clark's mouth opens impossibly wide, revealing hideous, sharp teeth. Wisps of smoke transfer from Stewie's open mouth to Clark's as he sucks out his soul. Sam watches, horrified, disgusted, and it hits him--"My last call with Dean--that was you. You led me here." Some calls he makes, some he takes, "but I had you fooled for a while," taunts Clark. He presses his hands to the panel controlling all phones in the area. What are you doing? asks Sam. "Killing your brother," replies Clark, "or maybe I'm killing another guy, we'll just have to see how it goes." Sam looks very upset.
A cop in a locker room gets a SHA33-call from his dead little girl: "The man who killed me is at our house right now, Daddy--he'll kill you, too!"
Phone company - Clark pulls his knife from Stewie's chest and shoves his chair against the wall. Mimicking Dean is one thing, says Sam, but their dad. . . Once I made you as hunters it was easy, brags Clark (not knowing Sam is undoing his bonds behind his back). I found all your phone numbers, including John's. Voice mails--people don't realize that stuff never gets erased. Clark waves the knife in front of Sam's face. "You'd be surprised at how much of yourself is out there, waiting to be plucked." Dean won't fall for this, says Sam, he won't kill that guy. Then that guy kills him, says Clark, not caring whose soul he eats.
House - Dean sees a car pull up in the driveway; he waits, holding onto a holy water jug. The door bursts open, the cop, shotgun in his hands, immediately fires at him, causing him to drop the holy water. As the guy reloads, Dean charges at him. They fight wildly, beating the crap out of each other, until Dean has him on the floor, kicking him brutally over and over.
Phone company - Clark brushes Sam's hair back with the knife, explaining how much easier technology has made his life. He used to have to hide in the woods for days, weeks, whispering to people, trying to draw them out into the night, but they all looked out for each other, so he only got one or two souls a year. Now when he's hungry, he just makes a phone call: â€œYou're all so connected, but you've never been so alone.â€ (I hate when the monster of the week makes judgments on us, don't you?) Clark opens his mouth wide, revealing horrific, dagger-long, pointed teeth. He's about to drive the knife home when Sam wraps his freed arms around him. They fall to the floor, Sam on top of Clark, but the crocotta gets back his knife and goes after Sam.
House - Dean forces the cop onto the rug and reveals the Devil's Trap. He pulls a gun from the guy's pocket and drops the ammo to the floor. The man spots the Devil's Trap. "What is this?" he asks. "Your funeral," replies Dean, and starts reading John's exorcism from a piece of paper. "Did you do this to my daughter, too?" asks the man, stepping out of the trap. "How the hell did you get out?" asks Dean, then it hits him--"wait, this is a mistake." The man advances on him and attacks.
Phone company - Sam and Clark grapple over the knife. It seems they are evenly matched--until Sam backs Clark into a metal tool holder hanging from a board on the wall and it pierces the back of his head. Clark's eyes go wide and blood dribbles from the corner of his mouth as he dies.
House - "SHE WAS NINE YEARS OLD!" the man screams at Dean, who insists he didn't kill her. He finally is able to grab the shotgun from the floor and slam it into the guy's chin. "Why did you kill her?" begs the man from the floor, crying, bleeding. "I'm sorry," gasps Dean, "I didn't kill your daughter." "Then what are you doing here?" demands the man through gritted teeth. "I don't know," answers Dean.
Hotel room - Dean is standing in front of the mirror, cleaning blood from his eye, when an equally beaten-up Sam enters. "I see they improved your face," remarks Dean. "Right back atcha," says Sam. "Crocotta?" says Dean. "That would explain the flies." "I'm sorry it wasn't Dad," says Sam. Dean apologizes, Sam accepts, but Dean won't let it go that easily: "I wanted so badly to believe there was a way out of this. I'm starin' down the barrel at this thing--hell--for real, forever. . .I'm scared, Sam. I'm really scared." "I know," his brother says. "I guess I just wanted to believe anything," admits Dean, "last act of a desperate man." "There's nothing wrong with having hope," says Sam. "Hope doesn't get you Jack Squat," says Dean, "I can't expect DAD to show up with a miracle at the last minute--the only person that can get me out of this thing is me." "And me," says Sam. "'And me,'" mocks Dean, "deep revelation, having a real moment here, and that's what you come back with?--'and me'?" "Do you want a poem?" asks Sam. "The moment's gone," says Dean, turning on the TV, mumbling, "You're unbelievable." He takes out a couple of beers, hands one to Sam, and shakes his head, still teasing his little brother.
I am not a big fan of this ep. Bland is the word for it, IMHO. It was great hearing JDM's voice again, but I'm dying to SEE him back, not hear him back. I want to see Papa Winchester making an appearance! He'd be perfect as God, at least I think so! I did like Stewie, I found him funny and real. I was sorry when he died, because he was just an innocent bystander. He liked BAB! The crocotta didn't really need those sharp teeth or extensively large mouth except for shock value. He used our phone system cleverly, I suppose, but I didn't care for his speech about how alone we are despite having all the communication devices, even though he's right. The actress portraying Lanie needed to be better. I didn't like her. I loved the moment Sam saved the little boy, very dramatic and exciting. I laughed at the end when Dean was disappointed in Sam's brief â€œand meâ€ response. What more does he want? Do you think Sam came up short, too?
Just one questionâ€”what do you think of â€œLong Distance Callâ€?