Okay, sometimes the mediocre and bad episodes are more fun to recap than the good ones. They’re easier at least. Let’s see if that’s true here or not.
Interesting how there’s no “Now” or “Then” segment. We go straight to a bar and one nice looking older lady is in there having a watered down margarita. There’s this place around the corner from here that does the best “Mango” ritas. They’re so thick you can stand a spoon up in them. One sip and I’m talking in Spanish and I don’t even know the language. In walks in our strapping Sam Winchester and just by the goofy look on his face we can tell he’s out of character. Especially when he says “I would like to purchase some alcohol please.” Then he flashes his ID proudly announcing he’s 26. Is it me are does he seem a lot older than that? The bartender rolls his eyes, not in the mood for the goofy behavior. If it were me, I’d be humoring him. Especially when he orders a banana daiquiri. I’d be all over that! “Wow, what a great choice for a sasquatch like you. It doesn’t threaten your manliness at all! Want some extra fruit with that? Oh, and I’ll make sure you get the purple umbrella.
Here’s a clue this isn’t Sam either, just in case we didn’t pick up on it. “Sam” greets Crystal with a handshake of his left hand. Sam isn’t left handed. Plus he says his name is Gary, which is actually true. “Gary, I don’t want to embarrass you, but you are just a stunning looking man.” Lucky chick. She gets to say in person what we dream of saying to his face every day! The answer though is priceless. With one huge grin he answers, “I know, right?” Then he looks at himself in the mirror and plays with his hair. Man, why couldn’t we see Jared act like Gary through the whole episode. That would have been awesome!
“Gary” gets his frou-frou drink complete with purple umbrella and that has to be one the most ridiculous things we’ve ever seen with Sam Winchester. It’s up there with Dean and his pink band-aids. He talks with Crystal, who’s obviously there to pick up guys. Sadly, this version of Sam hasn’t been schooled in pick up lines. She asks if he’s having a good time. “Like the best night ever.” Oh yeah, the anti-Sam. She wants to make it better and he doesn’t catch on. So she spells it out for him. “With me.” “Gary” gets this goofy grin, figuring out she’s talking about “sex.” She’s actually embarrassed. “Crystal, I would love to have â€˜the sex’ with you.” I’m sorry, but I don’t care how gorgeous the man is that I’m trying to pick up. If he uses words “the sex” I’m gone! She suggests they go and the camera pans to the real person inside, a wimpy kid with dark hair. That right there is why I have a problem with this episode. It doesn’t sell the body switch well with Gary in Sam clothes acting like Gary. She compliments him on his jacket. Man lady, you are horny. Gary eats it up and roll credits.
WTF show? I have no idea where you’re going with this.
Thirty six hours earlier in Housatonic, Massachusetts. The oh so pretty Impala pulls into a farm property. What do you know, it’s raining! They’re in the living room with a woman and her family who haven’t seen them since they were young boys. She has cookies and lemonade. Why isn’t Dean chowing down? Oh yeah, that sort of thing is cliche now. Sam admits the last time they saw her was the summer before sixth grade. Man have they changed. She remembers that Sam assigned himself his own reading list and Dean laughs about that before rolling his eyes. We get it, Sam’s a dork.
Sam tells the woman’s daughter her mom was the best babysitter they ever had. You know, that’s not something Sam usually says and I know it’s really him. Mom feels the need to explain. When she was a maid at the “Mayflower” out on the Interstate, John used to pass through town and leave the boys with her while he went off to “work.” Hey, it’s work lady. Really hard work. Fuck with your head hard work. She recalls that one time he didn’t come back for two weeks. “He loved you boys so much.” Sure, but two weeks? That’s half assed parenting love. The daughter, Katie, asks if they know what he did all that time. She said “little Sammy” tried to tell her, but she didn’t believe him, not at first. Sam then fills her in. Their dad was an expert at getting rid and ghosts and so are they. Ghost, demons, monsters, angels, stupid people, you name it babe! No, I only wish he said that.
Dad comes in with suitcase in hand. He believes this ghost crap, that’s for sure. Dean says they have a poltergeist. It started a month after they moved in. Bumps, knocks, scratches on the walls, breaking things, and then it attacked Katie two nights ago. She shows them what the thing did. She has “Murderd Chylde” carved on her stomach??? And they’re still in the house acting all casual about it? Hello, that is the point where I grab the keys and get the fuck out. Call the experts from the hotel. Which BTW how did she find Sam and Dean? Demons and angels can’t find them but she can? Dean assures Katie everything will be fine and tells the family to take a vacation. Yeah, the one they should have taken TWO DAYS ago.
In honor of the most brilliant The Big Bang Theory, whenever I find a plot hole in this episode (and there are many) you’ll see the code word. The code word is Bazinga!! So, for that last paragraph we get Bazinga! Bazgina!
Now, they’re at the Patriot Burger Diner. Dean is getting the food and serving it to him is the loser from the first scene in the most ridiculous fast food uniform I’ve ever seen. Why do people do that to their employees? Isn’t minimum wage insulting enough? The white belt alone would get their asses kicked. Forget the funny hat. Gary serves Dean the bacon burger turbo, large chili cheese fries, and a “health quake salad shake?” Dean is embarrassed, admitting it’s not his. Okay, first thing, remember the glory days when Sam was never spotted eating? Considering his boring affinity with salads, I say bring that gag back. It was far more interesting. Second, why isn’t Dean 300 lbs by now? He eats nothing but bacon cheeseburgers and fries, drinks a lot, spends most days in the car, and I don’t see them doing calisthenics in the motel room. Maybe he gets on the treadmill every morning and we don’t see it.
Dean gets to the table with the food and Sam throws on that dressing and shakes it like he’s starving. Dean is disturbed. “Oh you shake it up baby.” Sam rolls his eyes and continues. Dean mentions that poltergeist aside, their old babysitter looks pretty good. Sam dismisses that. “Hey dude, don’t tell me you still got the hots for our babysitter.” Geez Sam, didn’t you notice that her attention was mostly on you? I didn’t think so. Dean brought that up as a bigger point. She’s doing good with husband and kid and they’re hanging tough over their “Amityville” issue. No, they’re acting completely stupid with just like those folks in Amityville.