“Live Free and Twi-Hard” Episode 6/5
Robin’s Rambles by Robin Vogel
A pretty teenage girl, looking extremely normal amidst the tattooed, rainbow haired, pierced people in the bar, shows her obviously doctored license to a bartender. She downs her drink for courage, anxiously searching for someone as she compares everyone in the place to a photo on her phone, nearly dropping the latter, which is caught by a Pattinson lookalike who smiles at her. “You came,” she says over the loud music. “I told you I would,” he says, “shall we sit?” “I can’t tell you that,” she says, “it’s too embarrassing.” “Come on,” he coaxes, “nothing you could ever say would be. . .I mean, those poems you posted. . .they revealed who you really are–I KNOW you–Kristin.” “Thanks,” she says, smitten. She reaches into her purse for her poetry, but gets a paper cut. Her date sees the blood on her finger and watches her suck it, calling herself clumsy. “I’ve gotta go,” he says, turning away. “Wait!” she protests.
We get a view of a very full moon, swiftly covered by ominous clouds.
The young man returns to Kristin’s side at the bar. “Hi,” she says, glad to see him. “I shouldn’t be here,” he says. “So why are you?” she asks. “I can’t stop thinking about you,” he answers. “Don’t,” she says. “We can’t do this,” he insists, “we can’t be together.” “There has to be a way,” she counters. “No,” he groans, “you think you know me, but you don’t–I’ve done bad things–you should run–now!” “I can make my own decisions,” she says, I’m 17!” They lean in for a kiss, but he turns away. “I have to show you something,” he says. “OK,” she agrees. He looks around to make sure no one is watching, peels back his lip and reveals a fang. She gasps in delight. “I knew it,” she says. “Are you scared?” he asks. “No,” she says, caught up in doom-thrill. “You should be,” he warns. “I’m just scared I’m dreaming, and I’ll wake up in Math class,” she says, closing her eyes and feeling her throat, “is it gonna hurt?” “I could never hurt you,” he promises, “come with me.” “Where?” she asks. “Let me show you my world,” he says. Walking down a dark, creepy alley, she comments, “Edgy. . .so, your place–is there going to be. . .velvet?” (LMAO!) “Yeah, sure,” he says, voice a lot less romantic than before. “Ts this it?” she asks, looking up at a warehouse–“but, it smells like pee.” (Reality sure bites!) A fat ugly vampire with wiry hair leaps in front of her. “NICE work, Robby!” he praises. “Robert?” asks Kristin, turning a frightened face to look at him. Robert opens his jacket to show off his bod–and his mouth to reveal his fangs. “This is what you wanted, isn’t it?” he asks. Both vampires attack Kristin as she screams shrilly.
On the phone with Cindy, Dean tells her he’s only a night’s drive away. After they wrap this case, he can make sure he isn’t followed, take side streets. . . “Just get your ass home,” she orders, “I can’t wait to see you–this phone thing’s getting old.” “Yeah,” agrees Dean, ducking his head almost shyly. “Call us when you’re close,” she says, “and be careful.” “Of course,” promises Dean. He’s smiling when Sam comes over with some paperwork from the police station across the street. “What are you so stoked about?” asks Sam, handing over what he’s holding. “Nothin’, what have you got?” asks Dean. “Six girls, seven days,” says Sam, “more disappearances than this city has seen in over a year, all about the same age–” “And cute,” notes Dean. Sam huffs. “Hey, ice cream comes in all sorts of flavors,” says Dean. “Half a dozen girls, late teens, a shower away from greatness,” says Sam, “sounds like a profile.” And another call just came in today.
The brothers head over to speak with Kristin’s father, who tells them his daughter is a good kid. “You try to be a good parent, girls are hard.” “We’d just like to find your daughter,” says Sam. He directs them to the last door on the left. “What do you think he was talkin’ about?” asks Dean as they head upstairs. “Drugs?” suggests Sam. Upstairs, Kristin’s room is plastered with vampire posters and related paraphernalia. “This is so much worse,” says Dean, “these aren’t vampires, these are douchebags.” (Was that Pattinson he was referring to?) Sam finds Kristin’s laptop buried in her bed. “Let’s see what we can see. A brooding vampire opens up on-screen. “That’s just uncomfortable,” comments Sam. “What’s he so bummed out about?” asks Dean. (This is all SO funny!) While Sam tries Dracula as a password, Dean picks up a novel Kristin is reading, MY SUMMER BLOOD, and says, “Look at this, he’s watching her sleep, how is that not rapey?” “I gotta concentrate here.” But Dean reads aloud, “He could hear the blood rushing inside her, almost taste it. He tried desperately to control himself, but Bromarrow knew their love was impossible’–Bromarrow, really?” “Dean, shut up,” orders Sam, still trying to figure out the password. “This is a national bestseller,” says Dean disbelievingly, “how is that possible?” He tosses the book on the bed. He suggests Sam try Lautner, and Sam does, reminding Dean he’s a werewolf. “How do you even know who that is?” asks Sam. “Are you kidding me, that kid’s everywhere, it’s a freakin’ nightmare,” says Dean. “How many t’s are there in Pattinson?” asks Sam, and that turns out to be the right password. Kristin’s box is full–from a guy claiming to be a vampire. Real or fake? Human mouth-breather. “Talk about easy prey,” says Sam, “these chicks are actually throwing themselves at you, all you gotta do is, I don’t know, write bad poetry. This guy wanted to meet her at a place called the Black Rose.” Gimmee a break,” says Dean. “Just reporting the news,” says Sam. “Probably just your standard-issue perv,” says Dean. Sam closes the laptop and looks at him.
A van carrying blood donations is hijacked. The blood is taken, the driver murdered and left on the ground, bleeding out. PLEASE GIVE BLOOD, begs writing on the side of the van.
On the phone Samuel tells Sam the pattern is established; they’re definitely dealing with vampires: kids go missing and a blood bank van gets jumped. This is the fourth town, clincher is, driver here was found with his throat ripped out. Sam gets the kids– “Walkin’, talkin’ juice bars, but why bother with the bloodmobile; it doesn’t add up?” “Find the nest, figure it out,” says Samuel.
Bar – “You wanted emo chicks, I think we found ground zero,” says Dean. A waitress serves them beers, Dean thanks her. “Think she wears all that rubber at the beach?” he asks Sam, who is scanning the bar closely. “When was the last time we had a beer together, anyway?” “There,” says Sam, pointing to a couple sitting across from them, not answering Dean’s question. “He’s hittin’ on her hard enough,” Dean agrees, “it’s hard to tell.” He nods toward another pair. “We got multiple choice.” “Great, three of them, two of us,” says Sam. When two guys go in for a kiss, Dean and Sam look chagrined and Dean says, “OK, make that two of them.” When two couples are on the movie, Dean says, “You go with Efron, I’ve got Bieber.”
In a creepy scene, the guy Sam follows is waiting for him, but Sam is ready with a sword and beheads him swiftly and with little mess.
The Bieber lookalike exits the bar with his date. “Are you sure, baby?” he asks. “Are you ready to join me in eternity?” “Oh my God, totally!” she exults, tipping her head back. He’s just about to bite in when Dean grabs him and orders the girl to get out of here. Turns out the young man (Dean asks him if he’s 12) is wearing fake fangs and only does this to get laid). “Does it work?” asks Dean. The kid nods. “I’ll be damned,” says Dean, “all right, oom-bop your way out of here. GO! GO!! Use a condom!” (Biggest laugh of the night for me.)
Walking away, Dean hears a man say, “You’re pretty.” Dean starts to move on, but the guy throws him like a garbage bag a long way, into other bags of garbage. Dazed, Dean struggles to his feet, finds a shovel and attacks the vampire, who rips away the weapon and begins punching Dean, over and over. Sam arrives on the scene and starts running toward Dean, but stops, watching, half-smiling as the vampire bites into his own wrist and force-feeds Dean his blood. Only after Dean has collapsed, unconscious, does Sam yell “NO!” and race over. Sam takes a few ineffectual swipes at the vamp, who waves at him and runs off. Awakening, blood all over his face, Dean, his voice anguished, says, “SAMMY!” Sam, breathing heavily, gazes at his brother. (WTF???)
Hotel room – Newly minted vampire Dean is miserable; every sound–police sirens, the couple having sex next door, even the clock switching from one number to another–is amplified, all light is killing him. Sam isn’t patient, although he does close all the blinds and turn off all the lights. Of all the times he’s died, Dean never thought he’d go out this way. Sam assures him he’s not going out at all. “Samuel is going to kill me when he gets here,” says Dean, “I’m going to ask him to because YOU won’t do it.” “Just hold on a second,” begs Sam, “we can figure this out!” “How?” demands Dean–“why aren’t you freaked out?” Sam insists he is. “I can hear your heart beatin’,” says Dean, “It’s pretty darn steady.” “I’m trying to remain calm,” insists Sam, “Samuel will know what to do! How does it feel?” “Now? Now you want to talk about my feelings?” asks Dean, irritated. “I mean, physically,” says Sam. “How do you think it feels?” asks Dean–“not good.” He heads into the bathroom, informing Sam, “Newsflash, Mr. Wizard, vampires pee!” In the bathroom, Dean tosses cold water on his face and peels back his upper lip to look at his brand-new fang. He turns on the cold water faucet again. Deciding Dean’s been in there too long, Sam enters the bathroom. His brother has escaped through the window and is gone.
. . .and stands over Lisa’s bed, watching her sleep. Lisa awakens and sits up in bed with a start. She turns on the light, blinding poor Dean, who hears her heartbeat loudly. “I wasn’t expecting you for a couple of days,” she says, wiping sleep from her eye. “Are you OK? What’s going on?” she asks anxiously, knowing something is wrong. “It doesn’t matter,” he says, “but I need you to know, you and Ben, just. . .thanks. OK? For everything.” Whispers fill his head, his hunger growing. Lisa sits beside him. “You’re scaring me,” she says. He stands and moves away from her. “Oh, God, I’m Pattining,” he says. “What?” she asks. “I’ve gotta go,” he insists. “No, you can’t just show up here like this and. . .” she says, “just stop and explain to me what’s going on out there.” “Lisa, I can’t bring this crap home to you,” he says, breathing hard. “You’re talking about your work,” she says. “I’m talking about my life,” he says, “it’s ugly, and it’s violent, and I’m gonna die, soon.” She moves closer. “Just tell me what the hell is going on!” she demands. Hearing her heart resounding in his head, he shoves her against the wall. Whether he was going to kiss or bite, we’ll never know, because he turns away. His fangs descend, audibly. “Dean?” says Lisa. “I gotta go,” he insists, and leaves the bedroom. Ben exits his room into the hall. “Dean?” he says. “Ben, just stay there,” orders Dean. “I thought I heard you,” says Ben, stopping when Dean violently pushes him away. “I SAID STAY BACK!” shouts Dean. Lisa comes out, grabs Ben and pulls him into her room. Dean runs from the house.
Sam as an Alpha baby maker! LOL!
I don’t think anyone was insulted by the Twilight reference. Even the fans know it’s wacky that way.
I agree, when Sam watched Dean being turned by Boris, and he tilted his head, I had flashbacks to ‘the End’.
If CSI and Grey’s Anatomy can take a joke, then Twilight can get over itself. 😀
Dean knew that he could not live with himself as a vamp, so he went to say goodbye to Lisa. He just didn’t realize that he would want blood so strongly.
Dean could not feed, then the cure wouldn’t work. Gordon fed as soon as he escaped from the vamp’s lair. So, the cure would not have worked on him.
‘What did you see?’, Hello, is that all you care about Sam?????????? 😯 😯 😯
I think Sam left a big part of his soul in Hell, maybe in a deal in order to get out.
I hope that this Not!Sam will not be with us all season because Dean will not survive without his Sammy much longer. He has probably lost Lisa and Ben. (not going to lie. I will not miss them too much.) Bobby is not a constant in his life. He (and us) do not trust Grandpa and the cousins. All he wants and needs is his Sam back.
Maybe we (and Dean) will get some answers this week.
Thanks for this article – I enjoyed reading it. I had missed Samuel’s reference to “they”, when he was speaking with Sam about Sam’s (alleged ?) prior knowlege of the cure.
This suggests that it is a group (a group of angels or demons ?) that is after the Alphas.
My Quiz answers 😛
1. Would a Twilight fan be insulted ?
A : As I neither read nor watched Twilight (much less a fan), I can’t really say. But I don’t think there was anything really malicious in the jibes.
2. Dean’s visit to Lisa
A: I’m fairly sure Dean went to say goodbye to Lisa, as he expected to die soon (as opposed to looking for a meal).
Before Dean left Sam to see Lisa, we already see that Dean (not knowing about the cure) was expecting to be cut down. Also, Dean returned to Sam (and Samuel), expecting the same thing – to be cut down.
3. Dean not biting anyone.
A: Er … I was relieved that Dean didn’t feed. I also found the scene of Dean with Boris’ head under his foot pretty cool.
4. What the “hell” is wrong with Sam ?
A: I think much virtual ink has been spilt on this question already. 🙂 This episode confirms (I think) that this “Sam” is capable of evil against his own brother.
I hope we find out soon what is wrong with “Sam” – I’m not sure I want to sit through too many more episodes with this fundamental question unanswered. (And please, SN writers, no false leads. Thank you in advance. :-))
5. Alpha Sam ?
A : Er … no comment. 😛
6. What the hell is wrong with Sam ?
A : See 4 above. 🙂
What if they pull a ‘Dallas’?
Dean wakes up in the hospital in ‘In my time of dying’, but retains all the memories of the four plus seasons in between. 😀 😀
Dean may be able to prevent Sam vs Jake, therefore Dean doesn’t make the deal, no breaking of the first seal, no breaking of the last seal, no Lucifer, no swan dive into Hell, no Not!Sam. 😛