Open Letter To Bobby
For a few years now I have followed your life, and every time I encountered a glimpse of how you live, how you love, why you pain… it moved me to the core and made me love you. No, don’t be embarrassed. You don’t seem to notice right away that ladies might be drawn to you, which is not the worst thing, actually.
My dear Bobby,
For a few years now I have followed your life, and every time I encountered a glimpse of how you live, how you love, why you pain… it moved me to the core and made me love you. No, don’t be embarrassed. You don’t seem to notice right away that ladies might be drawn to you, which is not the worst thing, actually.
I am happy and grateful that you told this episode of your life to a talented young director and gifted team of writers who then, magnificently, told it to so many people out there who probably love you as I do. Have you managed to eat something of that yummy looking cobbler, finally? I felt truly sorry for you not having the chance to sit down, peacefully, and have a bite.
That was not the first time you missed some delightful food, I reckon. How many times have you been called to a case by your almost sons and had a roast in the oven? We didn’t see that, but I imagine with you jumping to the help of your boys in matter of minutes, mostly, you didn’t have much home cooked meals. It’s not food you missed out on. There are other part of life you just can’t live, since you chose to be a hunter, a father, the best friend a human being can have. That also means that you have put your own needs aside and care about someone else more than you care about yourself.
It’s the kind of sacrifice born out of love that some people make – because someone is so close to their heart that they couldn’t conceive of their life without caring about them. You would not be the Bobby Singer we know, were you any different. But – however noble your soul is – that kind of life leaves you lonely in many ways. The story of your life? Probably. You are capable of the kind of love and devotion this world could use more of. And I am happy to see it portrayed in this manner in the show that you and your no-blood-family chose to tell your story to.
You even paid a kind of ultimate price: you even sold your soul to a demon you (and many of us) hoped to be honest. You were so adamant in your intentions to help ‘ice Lucifer’ that you didn’t read the small print of your contract. Oh, Bobby, Crowley did his best. And still does – his hell doggy is always at his side, and we know it’s one of the big ones – well, I don’t need to tell you about Freud’s assessment of some men’s obsession with size, do I? That one even sold his soul to get a few more inches below the belt, come on, a small Scottish bloke’s despair… And you, Bobby, are not free of marking your territory, are you? As soon as a young, arrogant FBI agent shows up at your door, you guys take out the rulers and zip down. Good to have your female sheriff friend around to help you out here.
You’re doing a damn good job at questioning that demon in your basement, Bobby. Being exactly as reckless as Crowley, admitting to making a deal only to your best efforts. At that moment, actually, I felt a soft tickle in my hands to slap you. That was not keeping a deal. A man desperate like you is forgiven. But else – it’s not the honourable man I got to know over the last years.
Fergus MacLeod. Scotland. A man of refined tastes. One of the MacLeods of Harris or of the Lewis, no tartan around to find out? Born 1661. Was he part of the coup that cost JamesVII his Scottish throne? Did he witness the massacre at Glen Coe? But being buried near Eilean Donan Castle is honour enough. Well, you know, Bobby, there is something quite fascinating about a man in a kilt… The Winchesters didn’t bring you one, by any chance?
You’re lucky that Rufus has contacts overseas. How would you travel to Britain and help the Winchesters at the same time?
Not much time to take care of your own business, dear, since the boys you love most need your help again. You expertise in digging up information, that is. Dean finds this unique claw in a corpse that still is able to blink and send you the picture to ID it right away. And that’s what you do – you search your books, break into a university’s library and walk all the way home, for hours, because your car chose to die, stay up all night (partly on meds) to give Sam and Dean the information they need for their hunt. Not even noticing that Marcy who moved in next door six months ago smiles more when she sees you driving by than she would for someone she doesn’t care about.
Well, she doesn’t give up easily – bakes her masterpiece, ginger peach cobbler, and even loves horror movies – the gal is cool. ‘Drag Me To Hell’, alas, I wouldn’t recommend to you at this point, as it is not the most hopeful film… evil isn’t banished in the end, and there is no happy ending. Come on, Bobby, we all can see that you are quite charmed by her offer to come over for dinner and a movie. Or at least to look at her wood chipper. (I can’t negate that I am a bit jealous, though.)
I am amazed at your ability to multi task, though. It’s not only Dean and Sam you care about and provide alibis for, there are plenty of hunters that call you for help or advice. How can you manage? And even when Rufus shows up, you don’t hesitate to help him even if you are not exactly fond of him. With that many obligations you’re absolutely entitled to make the job as easy as you can – you won’t use a shovel. No. Something better. (and when, Bobby, have you been to Japan? There’s another story I’d like to hear about.)
Then you rush over to save Marcy. And set her wood chipper back to working (well, it hasn’t happened often to you that ladies make up stories just to get you to visit them, eh? Even you with all your wisdom and knowledge might want to learn a thing to two about women). That’s even more amazing in terms of multi tasking. Unfortunately Marcy is not quite able to share my feelings here, is she? I can’t blame her, though. Blood is not exactly the colour she chose for her night gown.
Oh, Bobby. I do feel for you. You were such a sweet husband, as we learned in earlier episodes, loving and caring. And enjoying being cared for by a loving woman. I can imagine it doesn’t feel altogether lovely to be alone and only creatures of the dark keeping you company… except – two young hunters you love like sons. They are entitled to call you up in the middle of the night, and they do. This particular one calls you in I-need-to-bare-my-soul mode. He needs to talk about Sam.
I saw that look on your face, Bobby. What did you want to say? ‘Not again?’, ‘My god, is Sam even worse?’, ‘Did something happen?’ But nothing in particular happened. Dean just needs to bare his soul ‘like a freakin girl’, since it’s a bit much he has had to swallow lately. His brother falling into the dark pit and being lost to him, his reappearance, the knowledge that Sam has been back for a year and not contacted his brother, leaving Lisa and Ben behind with the constant fear that something terrible might happen to them nagging at his peace of mind, well, what’s left of it. He needs the man closest to him, his father in many ways.
But he forgets that this man, you, Bobby, has a life of his own. Major problems of his own. He obviously forgot about the deal you made with Crowley to save the Winchester brothers. And, boy do you give it to them! This might have been about time you said this – but then again, my dear, Sam is right: ‘all you gotta do is ask.’
You’re not big on the asking-for-help front, are you, Bobby Singer? Believe me, I understand. Asking for help in whatever way also means that you bare the vulnerable part of your soul. The one part that needs support, that needs saving sometimes and that’s not tough at all. It’s the corner of your soul your uncried tears like to hide. Where your shame of not being as strong as you felt you’d be keeps its secrets.
I know how hard that can be. I have never found it easy to do that. To admit that there are weak spots in my soul that need another’s hand. But – and you really should believe this – I discovered that it takes a lot of courage to do that and you gain a lot of courage doing it. And that asking for help actually makes you less vulnerable because all of a sudden you don’t have to face the cruelties of life alone. God knows you have seen more in your lifetime than anyone should. You have loved deeply and lost. You are in constant danger of losing the two boys you love like your own. It’s quite a burden to carry once you’ve opened up to someone.
But that’s exactly what you need to do when you want someone else to notice that you’re not exactly in the best shape. Because when you do say that you can’t handle a situation on your own – you get help. Unspectacularly. Just because they care about you. That’s what friendship is all about. You live like that yourself.
Is it so hard for you to assume that others who love you might do the same for you? A handsome young man who suffers from fear of flying climbs onto a plane to Scotland for you. The moment you mention your predicament he does it. Both brothers do that for you. That’s how it goes. No more swallowing your concerns or request, Bobby. Say what you need and the ones close to you will help you the best of their abilities.
You have gained a lot of wisdom throughout your life, Bobby. This, however might remain the one thing you indeed have to learn, yet: asking for help.
You have seen a long succession of hunters come and go, you’ve seen their swagger and their mistakes, you’ve learned that a hunter’s life is not endowed with glory. Or peace. You live in a war zone. The bed you made for yourself – or were forced to make after your wife’s fate – is not the most comfortable one. But you also encountered people who love you, no matter the circumstances. The kind of family you can’t buy. The kind that’s hard to find. And it is a kind of magic, wouldn’t you say?
You have known those boys since they had been kids. And they love you. They will love you when you are old and shabby, because that’s the kind of love that only happens when you become such an integral part of another’s life that you are always there. A part of someone’s soul. That is painful, sometimes, as love always is – you worry, you get mad at one another, at times you despair. But it is the best entity, the most real, when it is there.
I believe you have learned a tad more about that, Bobby. Two young, sometimes reckless and self- absorbed hunters as you’ve called them, travelled to Scotland to make Crowley honour the deal. You, the three of you, will always be there for each other. And perhaps respect and value each other even more now that some words are on the table.
Allow me to thank you, on a personal note, for your guts to tell your story to a television show. Mr Ackles did such a fabulous job in telling it to so many people o your behalf. I once called him a man who embodied old Hollywood glamour. He does. Even in his directing style – his choice of camera angles, of music, of lighting… When I was studying, Bobby, I had a boyfriend who was a film student and I learned a lot about making films and directing from him, and I have to admit this young actor who took the reins for this episode, proved to be as talented behind as he is in front of the camera. As preposterous as that may sound to your ears – I am proud of Jensen Ackles. He did a wonderful job and deserves the credit.
I’ll better go now. I said more than I wanted to say and there might be more of us viewers who would like to add something. Godspeed, Bobby Singer. Take good care.
Yes, Jensen was superb, but given the accolades from everyone who worked with JA in and on the episode, it was to be expected. Also two very talented writers deserve some credit, Andrew Dabb & Daniel Loflin. Most of what everybody loved was their doing.
That is a beautiful tribute to the Bobby we now know, Jas. Loved reading it and tearing up a bit.
I too am proud of Jensen for his awesome first time directing of this excellent episode. A man of many talents indeed. 😉
This is a wonderful letter, Jas. And thank you Mr. Singer, for sharing your life with us these past many years and for always being there for Sam and Dean in their moments of need and whenever they needed a friend or father figure to help them thru their day.
As to Mr. Ackles, he is indeed one talented man and the kind of man worthy and deserving of many accolades.
Bobby,
Since Jasminka was so kind as to post a letter to you, I thought I’d take advantage of the opportunity and add my own little note at the end.
First of all, listen to Jas, she knows what she’s talking about. Consider all of her thanks and appreciation repeated by someone grateful for having someone more eloquent around. Besides, her couch is comfortable and you deserve the peace you’ll find there.
Congratulations are in order! First on getting your soul back while keeping your legs, and second on outsmarting the king of the crossroads. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not surprised, but plenty pleased.
You certainly do have a full plate, and I’m grateful for all that you do and sacrifice on a daily basis. You truly are an impressive individual.
Quick note, that officer of the law seems to be mighty helpful and receptive to your hunting life. She’s quite a lady besides. So while your baking neighbor may have rescinded her invitation, there is another capable woman nearby. I understand, she’s recently been through a lot, what with losing her husband and re-losing her son last year. Healing takes time, but she appears to be functioning. And you have quite a bit in common. You getting my hint or do I need to beat you over the head a little harder?
Thanks so much for looking after those two young men who we love. And thanks for idjiting them as you do, they certainly need it once in a while. I’ve run on long enough, thanks for reading and your time.
Oh, Bobby! I love him so. Great open letter, Jas! I love everything you wrote here, except Bobby and I might have to have a word about the torture thing…
Dear Jas
I loved the 2nd half even more that the 1st and as you know I also Bobby Singer.
This insight into his life was indeed wonderful, we already knew him to be a very special man who has helped our much loved boys so much over the years, but little did we know what a point of reference and help he is to many others as well, giving his time and effort so freely and asking so little in return.
I hope, as we learned much about him, he also learnt something about himself , in that asking for help is not a sign of weakness , in fact it takes a certain strength from any individual to open up, admit to their fears and do this.
He is more than willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for those boys he feels are his surrogate sons, and in fact he did so in Stull Cemetary. Does he not realise that they would do the same for him ? Is this not what friendship is about? It runs deep and, as he himself once said ` Family does not end with blood`.
I hope he finds some time to sit and enjoy that Ginger peach cobbler or that someone else will sometime cook him a much deserved meal and that he knows just how much he is loved by so many people.
I would also like to add that the director did an amazing job and certainly fullfilled his wish of `Making Kim proud`, did any of us doubt this at all?
Once again thanks for writing this on behalf of us all, it is full of wisdom and advice to benefit not only Bobby, but all of us, love Ju
Insightful and heartfelt article – I enjoyed reading this. 🙂
Just a small quibble though. You wrote : “And even when Rufus shows up, you don’t hesitate to help him even if you are not exactly fond of him.”
Actually, my view is that Bobby is very fond of Rufus, except that he probably isn’t very good at expressing “fondness” (just as he isn’t very good at asking for help) 😛
Might just be an unkind light but judging by that photo it’s just as well you never got to eat that large helping of peach pie thingy and cream …
Hi Jasminka
Lovely tribute to Bobby. I just love his character.
He was/is the best thing to happen to Sam and Dean.
And what he goes through for other hunters.:shock:
I guess his year of being wheelchair bound made him more of a ‘go to guy’ for info since everyone knew he would be there and basically had his own Library of the Supernatural.
As for Dean not saying thanks to Bobby and for calling him selfish, I thought that was really out of character for Dean. He always thanked Bobby for his help.
I figured the writers goofed on that part.
But then I thought maybe Dean’s still a little out of sorts with Bobby for not telling him about Sam being alive. That he was just venting a little because he still was feeling a bit betrayed and hurt.
Anyways great article Jas.
Sablegreen, Bevie, Evelyn, Yvonne, Flamey, Julie, CitizenKane2, Suze, Karen and Dany – you have been busy commenting! And I have not responded earlier. Thank you! And my apologies.
Sablegreen, always give Caesar what Caesar’s is….
Bevie, Should I include some Kleenex next time?
Evelyn, so true – this episode was a wonderful reminder of the quality of Bobby Singer and his fatherly role to the brothers, in so many aspects.
Yvonne, I’m so sure that Bobby might have welled up a bit after reading your heartfelt lines!
Flamey, let us know when you confront him about that torture thing. I’m right there with you!
Julie, this is so touching, dear. Thank you. I do hope he will continue to learn that opening up about being in need of help is so very important!
CitizenKane2, I agree that Bobby is probably quite fond of Rufus, good point, but showing an aspect of tough love, eh?
Suze, I remember Jim Beaver saying at the L.A. con this year: With me you get spongy…
Karen, You have a good point, here. I think it might fit that Dean was venting a bit for he still is hurt about not learning about Sam’s return. You reminded me to think better!
Dany, isn’t it great that we can be proud of the director? And of bobby just because he is the man he is?
Folks, thank you so much for your kind comments! Love, Jas