Oh, I am SO sad to see Rowena go. Ever since "Funeralia" I've been a big fan of Rowena. Before then I didn't really have an opinion. But ever since that fabulous episode filled with pathos and emotion, I've had a really strong love for Rowena. Plus, I'm always fascinated to see the way that people get inadvertently pulled into the orbit of the Winchester family. It's happened with so many characters, including Crowley, Donna, Jody, Claire, Alex, Patience, and plenty of others. Rowena was once an enemy of the Winchesters, and she believed that Crowley was a weak King for having so much sympathy for them. But as her run continued, she became not only an ally to the Winchesters but a friend. I think the change happened when she was killed by Lucifer. That would be traumatic for anyone, and we see that in her conversations with Sam about trauma and dealing with Lucifer. I think after that experience, she has more room in her heart for the Winchesters, even if she doesn't really want to. Plus, her and Sam's relationship has been a joy to watch over the last few seasons, and I'm thrilled that we saw such a beautiful end to that lovely friendship. It hurt my heart to see Sam have to do something he most certainly didn't want to do, but what else is new for the Winchesters?
All I have to say on this is: I knew it. I knew something was awry with Belphegor, as hilarious as he was. More than that, I'm interested to see how everyone will deal with Jack's death now that there isn't a walking, talking reminder of everything that happened. Additionally, I found it nice that we got to see another part of Hell. I always like the chance to expand the world that the Winchesters live in, and this is no exception. If there was one thing I had a problem with, it was the fact that Belphegor was so easy to read (at least for me). It was very clear, despite the humor and other characteristics, he was bad, and something was going to go wrong.
Sam just can't catch a break, can he? I think I feel so terrible in this instance because he knew it was coming. He knew there was a moment when he was going to have to murder Rowena. But it wasn't this one. He didn't see this one coming. He desperately needs a friend at this moment and Rowena is there for him in a way that Cas and Dean are not. She is there to support him and they understand each other in a way that no other person on Earth does. Sam knows that his hands will be the ones to take Rowena's life, but he didn't know it would be where it ended up being. Plus, I think her sacrifice hit Sam hard. Winchesters are known for their inability to let blame and guilt go, and I think Sam is the more notorious of the two. He takes on SO MUCH guilt for everything, and this is just one more thing on his list. It breaks my heart that Sam has to lose so many people and feel responsible for all of them when nothing that happened to Rowena or Jack was on him. None of it was his fault, even a little bit, so he has no reason to feel so terrible. But, because of who he is and what he's seen, he does. Plus, I think he feels as if he is losing his one confidant. The one person who really understands the terror and pain he carries with him. I'm just hoping we can see something come out of this that is good for all.
Dean and Cas
What a conundrum Dean Winchester is. He is confusing in the extreme, and I can see why Cas often feels like he doesn't understand the ways of humans. He has potentially the worst two people to study in order to understand humanity. Dean is PISSED - in a way that I don't think we've seen in a long time. Not guilty-angry, not sad-angry, and not even frustrated-angry. Just plain and simple, angry. He's angry at Cas. He's angry at Chuck. He's angry at Jack. But more than any of that, as with Sam, he's angry at himself. He's furious that he couldn't do anything about this. But, different than Sam, Dean lashes OUT, whilst Sam lashes IN. Dean takes his hurt out on other people, namely Cas and Sam, rather than internalizing it. Not better than Sam, or worse, but different. I do think one way that this has an impact on Dean is the idea that because he lashes out, he doesn't allow people close.
Cas, somehow, is the exception to this rule. As many times as Dean has lashed out at Cas, and there have been plenty, Cas just keeps coming back and we see Dean keep accepting him. But, this time, due to the burden of guilt and pain in Cas, we see him finally break. We see Cas finally give up trying with Dean in that ending scene. Cas is dealing with his own guilt, grief, and sorrow. It's possible that his pain is even deeper than Sam or Dean's because he had to burn Belphegor out of Jack's body, thus destroying the body; his son was killed by his father; the death and loss of Mary; and he just lost another ally in Rowena. Cas might have finally reached the point where he is done trying with Dean (for now, at least. I'm sure we'll see more of him.). Cas might have finally realized that in order for him to deal with his own pain and suffering, he needs to separate from the Winchesters, and Dean more specifically.
I'm interested to see where this story will go because it sure as hell isn't over. As always, please share your thoughts in the comments and over social media. Happy Halloween, as well, fandom. Be safe.