Recap – “Two Minutes To Midnight”

Whew, episode 21! I’m positively loopy with recap fever here, churning out a seventh one in a row for your (and my) amusement. There’s still next week too! So, let’s get it on, these episodes are getting bumpy.
 
I note there’s an especially long “NOW” segment. I know there’s a lot to cover, but there’s a lot to see too. It’s all getting crammed in last second, which will be a criticism of mine when I do my season five analysis this summer. Good thing the episode rocks anyway.

The scene starts at a convalescence home in Davenport, Iowa. Shouldn’t this be a place for Death, not Pestilence? I guess both. Do they call them convalescence homes anymore? It’s better than a “rest home” where people go to die. Yeah, I don’t get it either. Anyway, a bedridden elderly woman asks “Dr. Greene” how his trip was. Fantastic! Plenty of disease everywhere, thanks for asking. No, he has a better answer. “Very productive.” Matt Frewer, aka Pestilence, comes in looking a lot cleaner and less mucousy than we saw him last. He’s all smiles and warmth, greeting his favorite patient, who’s looking pretty ill. I get it, he likes sick people. He’s certainly in the right place. When I think of disease and dying, Iowa comes to mind (it’s a joke people!).

 

  

The woman complains about feeling worse and worse, and then Pestilence rattles off everything that’s wrong with her. A combination of the common cold, dengue fever, and Japanese encephalitis. Oh, is that all? She doesn’t understand and now Pestilence gets all evil. He waves his hand over her forehead and she suddenly breaks out in red spots. “Well look at that, you never had Chicken Pox as a child.” I did. I’m glad too, even though I’m waiting for shingles to hit eventually. 
 
Pestilence thinks this will be fascinating. She tries to ask how could she have all those diseases at once, but Pestilence finishes for her. He brags about the blend he made up in a petri dish, the petri dish being her.  Yes, live subjects make less room for error.  She wonders if he’s going to cure her. Nope, she’s gonna die. Well at least he’s being honest. “In four, three, two…” she barfs green goop all over him. Honestly, do any of those diseases result in green goop like that? I think they’re just trying to gross us out. 
 
Title card. Only two more of these this season. I think next years will involve sunsets and daisies. What do you think? If it’s lollipops and candycanes, I will build Kripke a shrine.

 
We see a desk full of clippings with all sorts of bad weather stories and other omens.  In the background Dean is yelling. Well that’s a great way to kick things off. It’s “One Day Earlier.” “What the Hell is wrong with you?”  Dean shouts.  “Dean-” Sam tries to say but Dean is too livid. “No, don’t “‘Dean’ me. You have had some stupid ideas in the past but this-” He stops to ask Bobby if he knew about this. Bobby tries to play dumb. “About Sam’s genius plan to say yes to The Devil?” Shot on Sam who isn’t enjoying Dean flying off the handle like this. Bobby nods, cautiously, as if Dean will start throwing something. Like punches. “Well thanks for the heads up!” Dean yells. Hey, go easy on him. He only expects you two to communicate. 

 

“You can’t do this,” Dean says to Sam. He passively agrees if that’s the consensus. Then Dean considers it done. His phone rings, but before he answers he points at Sam and tells him “This isn’t over.” You’re right there Dean, but not in the way you think. Sam shares a “what can I do” look with Bobby but now I’m too psyched over the fact that Castiel’s voice is on the other end. Cas! It’s you! Sam’s interested, wondering if he’s okay. “We all thought you were dead. Where are you man?” Dean asks.  He’s in a hospital, in a bed, wearing a gown, everything! This is so fun.

 

Dean wants to know if he’s okay. “No,” is the answer. Silence. “You want to elaborate?” Dean asks, still a bit agitated.  “Just woke up here. The doctors were fairly surprised, they thought I was brain dead.” Dean tries to get more. “Apparently after Van Nuys I suddenly appeared bloody and unconscious on a shrimping boat off Delacroix.” He was told that upset the sailors. You think? A dude in a trenchcoat comes out of nowhere on your boat in the middle of the Gulf? He was…ballooning. Yeah, that’s it.
 
Dean tells him he’s just in time for they found a way to pop Satan’s box. While he’s explaining this, Castiel is, wincing in pain??? An angel? Too bad Dean can’t see this. Dean goes on that it’s a long story. They’re going after Pestilence now and suggests Cas zap over there. “I can’t zap anywhere,” Castiel says. Dean naturally wants to know why not. His batteries are drained. Dean wonders if that means he’s out of angel mojo. “I’m saying that I am thirsty and my head aches. I have a bug bite that itches no matter how much I scratch it, I’m saying that I’m just incredibly… “Human,” Dean answers. Well that’s not good news in the eleventh hour. It’s fun to see Cas like this though. 

 

Dean is stunned which surprises me for nothing should be shocking him these days.  He tells Cas he’s sorry. “I can’t go anywhere without money for…an airplane ride.” That pause is so priceless. “And food. More pain medication ideally.” Dean says there are no worries, Bobby’s there and will wire him the cash. “I will?” Bobby asks all angry.  Aw Bobby, come on, help out a bedridden angel in need. Castiel, being the angel of awkward social graces, finds this is the exact proper time to give Dean an apology. “You said no to Michael. I owe you an apology.” Dean tries to stop him but he goes on. “You are not the burnt and broken shell of a man I believed you to be.” Dean says thank you in an “I’m so not in the mood for this now” tone. He blankly says, “I appreciate that.” “You’re welcome,” Castiel says like they are all good. Gotta love angels and their ill timed moments. Cas abruptly hangs up. He might have wanted to tell Dean exactly where he is. It’s apparently a one day bus ride from Davenport.

Dean and Sam get into the Impala while Bobby sits outside looking on. He tells them to be careful and they go. Focus turns to the “Serenity Valley Convalescent Home” through binoculars. Dean surmises this is “Dr. Evil’s” lair. Oh, I don’t know. Dr. Evil would be far more flashy. He’s over the top sinister. Right, Wal-mart apocalypse. Sam’s got binoculars too and then backs up what I’m thinking. “It’s kind of more depressing than evil.” That’s because they can’t imagine themselves growing old and ending up in one of these places. “Nope, it’s a brutal, violent, bloody young death for me!”
 
Dean backs me up on that too. “It’s a four color brochure for dying young. Of course to Pestilence, it’s probably Dollywood in there.” I would have said Six Flags. Sam figures out there’s a whole building full of people and they can’t figure out who’s demon, who’s human, and who’s Pestilence. Just kill them all. It’s a home for the dying, right? No, they have another plan. Dean spots the security camera. 

Dean enters the security office and tells the guard he’s looking for his nana. Her name is Eunice Kennedy. That’s the best you can do Dean?  The guard tells him to check with the nurse around front but Dean goes on with a description. She’s small, and he puts his hand out at three feet? So she’s a dwarf nana. “Grey hair, wears diapers.” So that’s what you think aging is Dean? Yeah, you’ve got it right actually. Dean then clocks the guard out cold and pounds on the door, signaling Sam to come in. While he drags the guard away Sam taunts him about Eunice Kennedy. “That’s the beauty about improv Sam. You never know what’s gonna come out of your mouth.”