The Wisdom of Dean Winchester – Season Four
Yes, I believe I promised this when I published season three back in December. There are so many Dean Winchesterisms in season four though, so due diligence was required (aka some extra time and a lot of season four rewatching). So enjoy this one. Twice as many quotes as other seasons!
Being in Hell might have been a real horror for Dean, but it didn’t hurt his sharp tongue one bit. If anything, the hellfire rumba gave him a spark or something. Season four has so many gems.
Lazarus Rising
Oh, there were many nuggets in this explosive season opener. However, these two stand out the best.
Dean is reunited with his beloved Impala. He’s all starry eyed as his little brother throws him the keys, and he savors every second by running his fingers along the custom leather of the steering wheel. It’s pure bliss until…well, his baby got an upgrade. Sam explains it’s an iPod jack, but reunion or not, Dean isn’t holding back.
“You were supposed to take care of her, not douche her up.”
Dean is eager to confront the being that pulled him from Hell. After he and Bobby pull out every symbol imaginable before doing the summoning, I don’t think he was prepared for the arrival of an angel. One impervious to Ruby’s knife. Castiel tries to calmly explain that humans cannot handle his true visage, but Dean is too riled up to hear it. He obviously notices the blue suit and trench coat.
Later, Dean is still struggling with his comfort level over angels being real. After throwing some rapid fire questions to his newest angel bud over the meaning of life, Castiel tries to diplomatically explain. “The Lord works…”
“If you say mysterious ways so help me I will kick your ass.”
In The Beginning
The reality of what’s happening is still sinking in with Dean. He knows what to ask when he first bumps into Castiel in 1973.
“Okay, so what, angels got their hands on some DeLoreans?”
Metamorphosis
“If I didn’t know you, I would want to hunt you.”
Monster Movie
It’s Oktoberfest! Why not hit on the blonde chick with a new lease on life?
So, what happens when ghost sickness turns Dean into a pussy? The mother of all Diva rants, that’s what.
“You know what screw this…What are we doing? (Sam: We’re hunting a ghost). A ghost? Exactly, who does that…Us right, and that’s exactly why our lives suck. I mean come on, we hunt monsters. What the Hell? I mean normal people they see a monster and run but not us no, no, no, we search out things that want to kill us, yeah huh, or eat us! You know who does that? Crazy people. We are insane. And then there’s the bad diner food and, and the skeevy motel rooms and the truck stop waitress with the bizarre rash, I mean who wants this life Sam, huh, seriously? Do you actually like being stuck in the car with me eight hours a day every single day? I don’t think so. I mean I drive too fast and I listen to the same five albums over and over and over again and I sing along and I’m annoying I know that and you, you’re gassy. You eat half a burrito and you get toxic and I mean you know what (tosses Sam the keys), you can forget it…Stay away from me Sam okay, because I am done with it. I am done with the monsters and and and the hellhounds and the ghosts sickness and the damn apocalypse. I’m out, I’m done, I quit.”
It’s The Great Pumpkin Sam Winchester
Samhain has unleashed the zombies. While Sam pursues Samhain with his demon exorcising mind powers, Dean gets to stay in the tomb with the zombies. Two come out ready for some fresh Dean brains, but Dean with sword isn’t about to back down.
“Bring it on, stinky.”
After disposing of said zombies, and ghost slams him into a wall before disappearing. You think Dean is taking this lying down?
“Zombie ghost orgy, huh? Well that’s it, I’m torching everybody.”
Wishful Thinking
So what happens when Bigfoot might be real? Speculate away for the next least plausible explanation.
“Or it’s a Bigfoot. You know, and he’s some kind of alcoholo-porno addict. Kind of like a deep-woods Duchovny.”
Criss Angel Is a Douchebag
After Ruby puts the idea in his head, Sam runs through the whole “cut the head off the snake” idea of killing Lilith with Dean. Big brother has an easy answer to that.
“Well the problem with the snake is that it has a thousand heads. Evil bitches just keep piling out of the Volkswagen.”
After School Special
Dean burned the lock of hair and the evil ghost of Sam’s former classmate Dirk went off in the ghost sparkle to the sky. The trouble though was the body he was inhabiting though was a 300 lb lineman that had straddled Sam on the ground as he was pounding him to a pulp. He could only fall forward, right on top of Sam. Dean got a little something else from Sam’s struggle though.
“He’s giving you the full cowgirl.”
Sex and Violence
Dean’s a little happier that normal about this new case.
“Strippers, Sammy. Strippers! We are on an actual case involving strippers. Finally!”
Dean’s joy didn’t last for long, for he was just a trite bit agitated with Sam. It’s likely because he figured out that little brother was lying to him again. So when Sam goes and sleeps the prime suspect in the case, Dean decides to take the high road and be diplomatic about the whole thing.
“Nah, it’s just first it’s Madison and then Ruby and now Cara. It’s like what is it with you and banging monsters?”
Death Takes A Holiday
Dean doesn’t remember Tessa when they first cross paths. She even asks, “Don’t you remember me?” Apparently, that’s not the first time Dean has heard that.
“Honestly, if I had a nickel for every time I heard a girl say that…”
On The Head of A Pin
Dean is in a VERY bad place, but his isn’t so far gone that his sense of humor has left him. After Castiel and Uriel demand his torturing skills with Alastair, Dean has had enough with Uriel’s presence and wants to talk to Castiel alone. Uriel agrees to leave, to see if there are new orders, but Dean can’t let him go without giving the final word.
“Well, get some donuts while you’re out.”
It’s A Terrible Life
Dean’s memory is wiped, so he doesn’t realize he’s knocking down his brother when Sam tells him he feels like he was destined to do something else. Still, for all of us worker bees out there, this coming from a big ego middle level manager, it’s harsh.
“I think most people who work in a cubicle feel that same way.”
The Monster At The End of This Book
The fact that Dean was taking the publisher’s fan girl moments so well is funny enough. So when she asks him how often he cries like that, Dean comes up with something way better than telling her that he does.
“Well, right now I’m crying on the inside.”
It just doesn’t get any weirder than this…
“I’m sitting in a laundromat reading about myself sitting in a laundromat reading about myself. My head hurts.”
The Rapture
Sam’s addiction meltdown begins. He can’t get enough and is getting strung out. His fix with the last of the demon blood causes Jimmy to escape under his nose. Dean’s having too much fun though over Sam’s carelessness. Sam claims he was getting a
coke. Oh yeah?
“Was it a refreshing coke?”
Dean’s plan didn’t exactly work out, getting him and Sam captured. After excusing his actions by telling Sam no one bats a thousand, the demon possessing Jimmy’s wife is ready for her monologuing. She starts out by asking “You know what is funny?”
“You wearing a soccer mom?”
When The Levee Breaks
Sam has busted out of the panic room, and Ruby is the main suspect. Dean knows what he’s going to do about that. Oh, but what about him being on call for angel duty?
“I am on call, in my car, on my way to murder the bitch.
Lucifer Rising
Dean is stuck in Heaven’s version of “Jupiter and the Infinite Beyond.” Dean’s thinking something else though when he sees Zachariah and Castiel for the first time. He must have found the Disney channel one day while “channel surfing.”
“Well, look at this – The Suite Life of Zack and Cas.”
I’m sure I missed something, for this was long enough as it was. A few just didn’t make the cut. So which one is your favorite? Which ones did I miss?
All good chucklesome stuff, my personal fave out of Wishful Thinking was Himself legging it out of a diner yelping gleefully … ” Women! Showers! We have to save these people! ” Perfect Dean moment. Only one thing tops burgers … 😉
Wonderful Alice. I guess my favorite is in ‘Sympathy for the Devil’ when Dean and Sam go back to their dad’s storage unit and they find Zack there and Dean says, “Oh, thank God, the angels are here.” Loved it!
Ah, Alice, this is how I love my Dean… (says the Sam-Girl, ah, unfaithful me… 😉 not really…)
My favourite Dean-quips here are definitely ‘I’ve been re-hymenated’ (laughed my head off the first time I saw that scene) and the ‘Diva-rant’ in Yellow Fever, fantastic!!!
I also loved his remark on the Teddy being a ‘girl-drink drunk’… Well, Irish Cream always makes me sick…
And that cubicle- thing… I am so grateful I’m doing a job that will never condemn me to a cubicle!!
Sablegreen found another great line, ‘thank God the angels are here’, almost forgot that one, hilarious.
Loved this, Alice. I trust there will be more of Dean’ s Wisdom regarding Season Five… No sweat, though!
🙂 Jas
Move over, Dalai Lama, Zen and the Art of Dean. Looking at that cubicle makes me glad I’m not 8’6″ like Sasquatch. Even Ted the killer robot got more desk space!
Great choices, Alice, and I’m trying to think of other good ones but my brain is currently on the fritz. I loved the Yellow Fever rant, but I’m curious as to which five albums!
Loved all of those Alice.
Gotta go fast or I’ll be tossed out of here again
You have no idea how Dean has improved my English vocabulary 😀
Really, Freebird? The Winchester Dictionary of Modern American Slang… How about selling it to a publisher?
;-), Jas
Great choices, Alice! The “Yellow Fever” rant is so epic! I love it.
I also really love when he’s driving back to the hotel and doesn’t make that left turn, and Sam calls him on it, and he says, “Sam, I’m not going to make a left-hand turn into oncoming traffic. I’m not suicidal! [ pause ] Did I just say that? That was weird.” I adore that he called himself on being too afraid to make the turn!
And though it’s not really “wisdom” per se, and though I’ve mentioned it before, the “Astronaut!” shout is probably my favorite thing he says all season. So ridiculous!
Great list Alice. Loved the laundromat in TMATEOTB – my favourite? Just after your quote when Deans reads what it says about Sam having a pensive face and he remarks ‘I can’t see your face but those are definitely your pensive shoulders.’ (Close enough). That entire conversation is hilarious.
Hi Alice. One again, you’ve found the perfect Deanisms 🙂
My fave would also be the Yellow Fever Rant and I agree with Suze that Wishfull thinkings bit from the beginning was just *glee*. Not to mention the other ones. The bit in the restaurant when Dean’s trying to be all authoritive and find the right badge… *snort* That eppie is just so much fun, AND has a suicidal teddy bear! You can’t lose! 😀
Also love the “I’m torching everybody” line from ITGPSM, The Sex and Violence line with Strippers (he was just so darn perky lol) and the soccermom slur and and and…Hell, they’re all awesome! Dean just has the perfect quips for everything 😀 and sometimes they’re just so unsuitable, you gotta wince there right along with everybody, but hey that’s Dean. He might not be politically correct (yuck, hate that word… words lol) but he gets the job done 🙂
Thanks Alice for this, had good laughs and throwbacks to old eppies, I gotta get me those S4 DVD’s 🙂
This could have been the longest article on the site as what rich pickings you had to work with.
It would be interesting to count just how many `pearls of wisdom` we have been treated to over the years.
I must confess that one I did really love was in IATL when my Dean (Jas, take note! I would never presume to muscle in on your territory!) tells the odious Zach `Angel or not, I will stab you in the face`.Hands up all who would cheer him on if he did.
Hi Alice
Love the picks you made.
Ah Dean and his one-liners, one of the reason I fell in love with this character.
One of the lines I liked was in Lazarus Rising, the scene were they meet Pamela for the first time and Dean comments on her tattoo and she hints that Dean could get lucky and then tells Sam he’s invited too. Dean’s reaction is priceless pointing his finger at Sam “You’re not invitedâ€.
My favourite of the whole season was from Yellow Fever simply because of the goofy smile Dean has on his face right after he says, “I’ll man the flashlight” and he grips it with both hands.
Love this
The “I Quit” speech from YF is a fave of mine.
Gotta love Dean! I don’t think I realized just how long that YF rant was–wonder how many takes that took, and how much adlibbing was going on 😀
Here’s one that’s almost as spectacularly inappropriate as being rehymenated, but it cracked me up: “Sammy, wherever you are, Mom is a babe. I’m going to hell. Again.”