Top Ten Crimes Against The Impala
#5 – Astronaut! – It’s the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester
That kid egged the Impala! That is so not cool, kid. To be fair, Dean was pretty mean to him. And you just knew that something bad was going to happen when that kid glared at him. But egging the Impala? That’s just wrong. It did lead to Dean’s “Astronaut!” yell, though, and that’s one of my favorite things Dean’s ever yelled because it’s just so ridiculous. (From Alice, I love Sam laughing too).
Dean’s so happy to be out of hell and back in his beloved car! Nothing could spoil the moment for him! He can’t wait to get driving and – hang on. Is that an iPod jack? An iPod jack?! Wrong, wrong, wrong! You can’t shrug your way out of this one, Sam. Dean’s never going to let you drive the car again if this what you do to it when he’s gone. The exchange of expressions between Sam and Dean throughout this whole scene is priceless. Dean is just so annoyed, and Sam is so “what?” I know it’s wrong to laugh at the Impala’s expense, but every time I see this, I just laugh and laugh.
#3 – 2014 Dean abandons her – The End
“Oh, baby, what did they do to you?” I don’t know, but I don’t like it! How could 2014 Dean abandon the Impala? Look at her! She’s a mess! And he just let it happen. Now we’re getting into some serious crimes against the Impala. This hurts because you just know that for Dean to just abandon his car like that he’s in a pretty bad state. Now, one could argue that in a post-apocalyptic world, a car that gets 8 or whatever MPG is just not practical, but I’m going to ignore that argument because they have been driving across the country for five years, so that car has never been practical. Letting the Impala go to seed is just another indication of how far gone 2014 Dean really is.
#2 – Dean takes a crowbar to her – Everyone Loves a Clown
*understatement alert* Dean’s having a very hard time dealing with his dad’s death. We all know he isn’t going to talk to Sam about it because that’s just not what he does. So what does he do instead? He turns to the Impala for comfort. Only this time he takes a crowbar and beats his frustrations out on the trunk of the car! Dean, no! This scene hurts so bad because you just know that for Dean to hit his car again and again and again, he just has to be an emotional wreck. I know the car’s in a semi-wrecked state already, but still. He’s hitting his car!
#1 – Impala vs. the semi – Devil’s Trap
That truck hitting the Impala was an awesome stunt. It came out of nowhere, seriously injuring Sam and John, putting Dean into a coma, and destroying the Impala. She was an absolute wreck after that collision. Even Bobby didn’t think she could be salvaged. Sam knew Dean would never let her go, thankfully, but man, it was so hard to see her reduced to scrap. Poor, poor Impala. Bad demon truck driver! I still can’t believe they went there and crushed the car so badly. I guess that was the first time the show killed off one of its main characters, though. At least no one had to trade their soul to bring her back!
Honorable Mention – An Obvious Late Add By Alice – “Swap Meat”
What the Hell does Julie Siege have against the Impala? It seems everyone of her episodes involves disaster for the old girl. That’s especially the case again in “Swap Meat.” Young Gary, fresh in Sam meat suit, decides to take advantage of his new body by taking a bitching classic car for a drive. Too bad he doesn’t know the old cars too well for even though Dean told him “Reverse!” it was lost on him. Lucky for the Impala, the hard steel it’s made of seems to be more solid that that dumpster. Dean’s ire says it all!
So there are my Top Ten Crimes Against the Impala. I hope they leave the Impala alone from now on. What did she ever do to deserve any of this? Season 4 was really bad for her, too. Four of the list entries came from that season.
Did I miss any of your favorites? Agree or disagree with my rankings? Tell me in the comments!
Aww man #1 was just heart breaking. The impala turned out to be a well loved ‘character’ in the show, so to see her get wrecked like that was just sad. I also jumped something fierce when that Semi came out of no where. Pretty BAD ASS way to end the series.
When Gary backed that car into the dumpster my brother looked at me weird cuz the first thing I yelled was ‘OMG THE CAR!’ That kid pissed me off.
#2 and #3 were also heartbreaking. How can dean abandon the car like that and take a crowbar to its trunk. Very sad moments.
Amazing list by the way. Fun read.
It is so hard to see the Impala in any state other than perfect. When somehting bad happens to her, I think of the sequence after she’s been repair in season two and the boys are cruising the sunny road in the fresh, clean, shiny black Impala – a beautiful sight!
What was amusing about Gary backing the car into the dumpster was the way Dean croaks “reverse!” after the collision.
Great list!
Ardeospina, you’re absolutely right – Dean’s baby has been through a lot in the course of this show.
She was abducted, beaten up, douched up, turned into a pretzel, abused, left to rot in the future…. Poor thing, poor, poor baby!
This is a great list – as it reminds us of what she has been through, but she’s still there. Elton John comes to mind ‘I’m still standing, better than I ever did, looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid…I’m still standing, after all this time…’
I’ll take this as a metaphor. Or some sort of parable – you can get beaten by all kinds of blows in life, but in the end, all that matter, is that you’re still on your feet. Ay, that’s just me.
Best wishes, Jas
Love your list, Ardeospina. Agree with it 100%.
I remember watching #1 still vividly, gave me such a shock. Thought: Is that the end of the series? No!!! It has just started!!!
#2 and #3 actually made me cry, the symbolism of the Impala is just too great.
“Reverse. … Reverse! … It’s in reverse!!” – I can’t get enough of it 😆
Yeah, Dean and his panic attacks… get him hither…. I’m prepared to help, snigger.,.. 😆 Jas
Ardeospina…this is a treasure! Loved it. I remember when I saw the impala get hit by the semi, one my biggest concerns was whether the impala was still with the boys the following season. 😀
That was a great list!
I agree with Freebird. #1 was heart stopping shocking! I
actually thought the series ended with the deaths of all 4 of them. Whew!
#2 and #3 also made me cry. Love that car!
Great list.
I have to say that, for me, even though the Impala getting so wrecked in the S1 finale was shocking, the more emotional impact for me was Dean taking the crowbar to it .. just knowing what he had to be feeling in order to do that to her.
I know it’s tragic that our beloved Metallicar undergoes the abuse it does, but considering the beatings the boys get, it’s only fair that she ‘gets a slice of the action’ as well.
*ducks rotten tomatoes flying towards my head*
That being said, I still couldn’t help screaming “NOOOOO!!!” at the top of my lungs when Gary!Sam attempted to drive her..
Excellent list! The top few were brutal (I still think the very end of Devil’s Trap is the coolest ending of any show’s season, ever) but I love Astronaut.
Ugh, I’m a little late posting this, but thanks, everyone, for your kind words! I’m having a really fun time making these things.
And thanks especially to Alice for the screencaps from “The End” and for adding in the second honorable mention. When I saw that, I was like, “Man, I already turned in my list!” Okay, really, I was like, “Gary, what the hell, man!” Then I fretted my list. Impala first, list second.
Dany, panic attack Dean is definitely adorable. I love that scene, too. He’s usually pretty unflappable, so I love it when he loses it!
Hi Ardeospina
Love the list.
She definitely had her fair share of the Winchester’s fate.
I think I’m with CandyMaize on this one. Dean taking the crowbar to her is just so heartbreaking.