Editor’s Note: I saw the original thread of this article on Twitter in July of 2018. When she first posted it, Cat Dean narrated 13 years of epic, emotional moments between Sam and Dean Winchester, from Dean’s point of view. The narration was gut wrenching, telling the story of Dean’s big brother love for Sam, and the emotional bond we all share with Supernatural. The other half of the story is, of course, Sam’s love for Dean. At my request, Cat Dean added Sam’s thoughts during these absolutely-break-your-heart hugs. The result is “All the Feels” and a poignant summation of the essence of Supernatural! Hopefully soon, we’ll be able to share with you images of Sam hugging Dean, completing this gripping tale of a love so strong, it survives even death. So let’s call this Part 1: the History of Dean’s Love of Sam.
Narrative by Cat Dean (@Pathryn34 on Twitter).
Gifs by Sasquatchandaleatherjacket on Tumblr.
Collage by Nightsky.
The History of Supernatural, Epitomized in 13 Years of Hugs between
Dean…..
and
……Sam
Warning If your heart is still intact.
Or you need it to function.
Skip this history of
Dean Hugging Sam
Think I’m kidding?
The first hug is him holding and crying as Sam died in his arms
I feel your arms around me,
As the darkness closes in
I don’t want to leave you.
I don’t want to go.
He sold his soul for this hug.
To be able to hug his brother again, he doomed himself to Hell.
You seldom hug,
And yet here you are
Hugging me so tightly,
It honestly hurts,
And while it reminds me I am loved
I know something’s wrong
Sam had to watch Dean die over 100 times.
And spent six months with him dead.
(That’s longer than Dean will actually be dead.)
And this is that hug.
He doesn’t know why,
just that his brother loves him and needs to hug him.
I lost you,
Again and again,
Everyday
Then I lost you for good.
But now, you’re here in my arms.
I won’t lose you again.
I can’t lose you again.
He spent, what seemed to him, forty years in Hell.
His soul broke as he tortured souls.
You can still see his skinned knuckles from crawling out of his own grave.
But, he gets to hug his brother again
And, somehow, it was all worth it.
I lost you.
You went to Hell,
Because of me.
And I couldn’t bring you back.
No matter what I did.
But, now, like magic
You’re back.
And you can hug me again.
A memory.
A memory happy enough to be Heaven.
A grateful brother.
Hugging his older brother.
As fireworks burst in the sky.
A time when he was everything to his brother.
A time before the Trust was shattered.
Thank you, Dean.
This is the best day ever.
You’re my hero,
And the best big brother anyone could have
He watched his brother fight the Devil and win.
Then throw himself into cage, into suffering unimaginable.
He spent a year grieving for his brother every day.
Thinking of his brother’s pain.
Trying, against promise, for a way to bring him back.
And now his brother is back.
You’re hugging me.
Just like I knew you would.
Just like I expected you to.
For six months, he lived with his brother who wasn’t his brother
Because he was without his soul.
Dean died.
Made a deal with Death.
Became Death.
To make his brother whole.
And this, after a year and a half of being without him, is their true reunion.
I was afraid I would never see you again,
That last picture of you in my mind,
Would be of your face,
Broken by my fists.
But we’re here,
Together again.
He spent a year in Purgatory
Fighting everyday.
Losing Cas.
To get back home.
To get back to Sam.
To get to here.
You vanished
You disappeared
I had no idea where you had gone
And, I’m sorry. I didn’t look.
But now you’re here.
His brother
Ailing and weak
Had to go through Purgatory.
Had to go through Hell.
Without him.
His brother almost didn’t make it back.
Dean had to kill one of the best friends he ever had
To save Sam.
I went to Hell,
I saw what you had to go through in Purgatory,
I know what you had to do to save me.
I know exactly how much this hug cost.
Hurting, his brother saved him.
Sam thought Dean would be mad.
But all he is
Is grateful
I thought you would be mad at me.
I expected you to be mad at me.
I never expected this.
Thank God for this
His brother was ready to die
In order not to fail him again.
His brother actually thought
There were beings he loved more than him.
But Dean loves Sam so much.
He is willing to let demons walk
So his brother can live
You’re choosing me?
You’re really choosing me after everything I’ve done?
Everything I haven’t done?
Since you’re choosing me,
I’ll choose you too.
Dean is going to die.
He is going to sacrifice himself to save Creation.
Why is it on him?
It doesn’t matter
It just is.
But, he’s never going to hug his brother again.
So, he needs to say goodbye.
No, after everything, no.
I did what I did to save you.
And now I’m just supposed to let you go?
I know I have to,
I know it’s the right thing to do.
But why is it always us,
Who have to make the big sacrifices?
Sam thought Dean was dead,
But, when he came back
Even after torture,
They didn’t hug.
They both were imprisoned
And died
Still, no hug.
But now, they’re going off to fight two separate wars.
They may not see each other again
So, finally, they hug
We have been through so much
And yet again,
We’re going our separate ways.
I don’t know if we’ll see each other again,
But thank you for believing in me.
Thank you for letting me lead
His brother died,
Right in front of him.
And he was powerless to stop it.
He had to leave his brother’s body behind.
In order to save lives.
But, his brother is back,
It doesn’t matter how.
He’s alive, and that’s all that matters.
So, they must hug to show it.
Thank you for not being upset at me.
Thank you for absolving me.
I will make this right.
I promise.
{End}
Once you’ve recovered, please share your reactions below! Are there any epic Dean hugs you wish to add?
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