Throwback Thursday: The Conventional Wisdom of Misha Collins

This is an oldie that we’ve pulled out a couple of times, but it’s a goodie! A WFB classic. In honor of our overlord, Misha Collins, who is celebrating his 41st birthday today, we present to you a sampling of the soundbites that have been heard from Misha through the years at various conventions he attended. These are all from ones I and other WFB staff members have attended.

The original article was from 2012, when Misha was still rather fresh on the con circuit. Misha told me at Comic Con in July that he’s done 70 conventions now (I was at his first!). As a bonus, I’ve thrown in a few more soundbites and photos from conventions in the last couple of years at the end of this article! After all, for what this guy does for the fans, he deserves to be heard more than ever!

Without further adieu, I present The Conventional Wisdom of Misha Collins!

In honor of Misha Collins’ birthday today, I wanted to share just a few of the inspiring…no…brain twisting… no…very informative…no…completely filthy…hmm…totally off the wall…always entertaining soundbites from him over the last few years, ever since he found his way on Supernatural’s radar in season four. I’ve pored through our collection of Misha panels from the cons and picked a few of the outspoken gems. After all, he may be an angel, but he’s no boy scout! Every comment made here is in pure fun too, so for those who don’t know Misha, you’re missing out.

I’ll issue the innendo/profitanity warning now. Enjoy these random quotes in no particular order.

Explaining the Olympics:

“Dressage is when you put a dress on your horse. It’s like putting on drag, but for horses.”

Why he screws up takes:

“It’s always Jared’s fault.”

On prepping for the role of God Cass:

“I sucked a lot of monsters in myself and let it play out naturally.”

Advice for those taking his cruise:

“The first thing you want to do when you get on a boat is spread your legs.”

Getting lame fan questions:

“Is this the direction things are going today?”

Advice Jensen gave him as a director:

“If it’s not better than the last take I’m bringing Jared on the stage.”

Why he became an actor:

“I had no other skill sets, so I worked with what I had. It’s basically a story of desperation.”

On his skills as a writer:

“I’ve written some shitty screenplays.”

“I frequently publish on a place called Twitter. The editor isn’t picky.”

“Self censorship? Not my strong suit…I don’t want to be a total douchebag, but a little bit of one.”

Pranks he’s pulled with Jared:

“Pennies in Jared’s trailer, letting air out each other’s tires, I got his wife pregnant…”

Why Castiel always wears a trenchcoat:

“You would think Cass would say, Change, go to the store, buy something nice for yourself.”

Upon recalling his first con in NJ four years ago:

“The memories are flooding back and I’m having a panic attack.”

Why Australia was a bit of a disappointment:

“I hated it. And it was more the people I’d have to say. All the negative stereotype things you hear about Australia, it’s true. I just wanted to be honest with you.” “I cannot keep up with them drinking. I was pretty hung-over the whole time I was there. Great aquarium though, I gotta say. That was awesome. So the fish are great. Oh, and the other thing that kind of pisses me off to be honest? Did not see a kangaroo, it’s a myth. The whole country’s based on lies.”

On interning at the White House:

“It was good because it was bad.”

Changes to Castiel’s character:

“Early on it was implied that he didn’t have genitals, right? Recently it’s been insinuated that he does, which I think is a positive move in the right direction.”

What other roles he’d like to play:

“Not Columbo.”

On playing hippie Cass:

“Okay, no, not that guy. That was fun, but kind of a little too close to my own personality.”

“We were all pretty sore.” – In reference to the orgy rehearsals.

What was it like hugging cupid?

“He was naked, sweaty, and very erect.”

Having fun with fans at a con, like giving a quick answer to a long question:

“You waited all the time in line for a yes or no answer. How frustrating. And who knows when you’re going to get another chance to ask another question. It’s sad. It’s so unfair when life throws these little curveballs at us, huh? You took notes and everything. Little flashlights keeping your roommate up at night. I’m sorry it played out like this. Best of luck to you.”

To a fan with laryngitis – “Were you stuck in a well or something?”

When asked to re-enact a scene, with full audience prodding: “I’m not your monkey!”

Paraphrasing long fan questions:

“Are you asking if my junk is bigger than Castiel’s?”

“You mean why bond with Dean over Sam when obviously Cass wants to f**k Sam so much?”

On attending cons:

“It’s pretty nice. You come up here and everyone’s “‘Oh, you’re so great,’ and laughs at pretty much anything you say. Anywhere in the world that pretty much doesn’t happen.”

Talking about current projects:

“I’m currently making a stone bowl. Marble, British Columbia marble harvested from a quarry there. I haven’t yet started carving out the inside, the outside is round. I’m looking forward to seeing how it comes out myself. In fact it’s a lot rounder than I thought it was going to be. We can only hope that critics like it.”

“I go do performances at 7/11’s just to stay fresh.”

Bet you didn’t know:

“There really are two Jensens, which I didn’t know. They switch from episode to episode. If you notice one is a little better than the other, every other episode is a little stronger.”

“Castiel and God were for a long time were lovers. They had a very torrid, kind of pervy sexual relationship. A lot of the favoritism that you see Castiel receive from God is residuals from that, basically. He earned it. We shot a lot of that stuff and it didn’t end up making it on the air because the network said was too graphic. He earned it the hard way. (beat) God is a brutal lover.”

“Sitting in the Impala when Jared farts is very much one of those teaching experiences. I think we can learn so much through the suffering. Try to face it head on. Especially when you can’t roll down the window because it will f**k up the shot.”

“Yeah, it’s nice having Jared’s foot in your crotch. It makes coming to work that much better.”

“I would want to be a Moosekateer having sex with a Minion…How fun because first of all Minions are so tiny, so that’s exciting, so grab the moose by the horns…”

Where do angels go when they die? “They stock shelves at Wal-Mart. It’s a weird kind of purgatory.”

Random Quotes and Thoughts:

“I’m just trying to remember what self-respect feels like. It’s a fading memory.”

“Like, am I trying to be a dick, or does it come natural? No, that just comes natural.”

When filming “Point of No Return,” he described how he carved the sigil into his chest himself at home before shooting, which stunned the special effects guys a little since they were going to us a prosthetic. “The shooting took a little longer than usual because I kept fainting from blood loss.”

How emotional was “Swan Song” for him? Very emotional. “Like when I exploded. That takes a lot out of you. You think it’s more of a physical thing but I felt like I was crying when I reconstituted myself.”

There were other challenges to “Swan Song” as well. “Jensen was hard to look at in person because his face was so disgusting. And then they put on that makeup.”

If Castiel could have a do over? “I don’t know, coming to save Dean.”

“I’ll do anything, I mean for money.”

“The really shitty thing about eating things on camera is that you actually have to eat them many more times than what the audience would think. So, you see me eating three burgers I have to eat twelve because we’re doing so many takes. You never know which take is going to end up in the final cut so you have to do it every time. It would be great if we knew which take was going to work and which one wasn’t. It would be like “‘ah, I know Jensen’s acting terrible in this one they’ll never use it, I’m not going to actually swallow.’ But you don’t know so you have to forge on, even when he’s totally blowing it. It’s a disgusting feeling when you’re,masticating and you’re dreading swallowing because your stomach is already so distended, and also there’s a temptation to keep chewing and thinking like “˜All right, lets ride this scene out by chewing this’ and I’ll never had to swallow it and just keep taking bites and your mouth gets fuller and fuller and its more and more chewed in your mouth,And then finally you come to the point where I can either take another bite and have my cheeks packed like a chipmunk’s or do what I’m dreading but know what I have to do which is swallow but by that time you get to that point you start to think there’s a lot of food in your mouth and it’s hard to swallow and it’s an awful thing. You can’t really think about anything else but dreading swallowing. And then Poor Robin, Robin is on set props. One of Robin’s jobs is at the end of the scene, (holds out hands). Because ideally at the end you still have food in your mouth that you haven’t swallowed at the end of the scene so you can spit it out.”

How does one know if they’re a minion?

“It’s kind of a personal thing. It’s like when you find Jesus. You just know.”

NEW!!!!!

On explaining various animals to the kids:

“My kids think the elopus and the dynomite and wooster are real. (They’re) unsatisfied at the zoo visit when none are there.”

On why he talks about his son West so much but not his daughter Maison:

“Here’s the truth, I made up Maison…Maison doesn’t exist. I thought it would be cool to have a daughter too but I don’t.” He offered a better explanation later. “Babies…don’t do anything.”

On parenting:

“Recently I was trying to cheer my son up and I got him a whoopie cushion. I was so childishly excited to demonstrate its use and I couldn’t get the f**king thing to work. In one moment I completely failed at fatherhood.”

On tweeting at cons:

“This is terrible programming that you paid for. You’re watching someone tweet right now….I’m almost done.”

On his favorite ship:

“The good ship lollipop is my favorite.”

On the infamous coin prank with Jared:

“If you’re gonna lose, make the other guy regret it!”

On his son, West, who has his own online cooking show, becoming a chef:

“Don’t think that’s a good idea. His stuff is pretty terrible!” (The description of the uneatable pasta jam sauce was rather interesting).

To Jared and Jensen, after watching the Pilot:

“You were like children. This show has been your entire adult life.”

On being nominated for a Teen Choice award…with Jensen…for Best Chemistry!!!:

“We actually have a chemistry set we work with on set and I assume that’s what they’re talking about.”

On having pal William Shatner on Supernatural:

“That would be great. Obviously, he’d have to audition like everyone else.”

On preferring directing to acting:

“When you’re acting and trying to boss other people around… isn’t received very well.”

On trepidations he has about directing again:

“At the same time I also go into it knowing that there’s obviously a very real chance I’ll be killed by Jared and Jensen by a horrible, cruel prank gone wrong that’s lurking around every possible corner. I devoted a significant portion of my mental energy to defensive moves.”

On being a guest actor on NCIS:

“When a guest actor comes on the set, he (Mark Harmon) gives them the tour, tells them exactly how things are on the set, has a chat in his trailer with them and goes out of his way to make them feel welcome. He’s a true professional. It’s not like Supernatural at all, where you get Jared.”

Where do he thinks they go if they die in purgatory?:

“They go to the cast of The Vampire Diaries.”

On whether Dean and Castiel are in love:

“They love each other but it’s truly sexual.”