Supernatural Retro Recap: “The French Mistake” Part Two

Missed part one of the recap?  It can be found here. 

Okay, get ready, for this is the absolute craziest, bat-shit, most absurd, ballsiest, funniest, shattering the fourth wall into tiny little dimensions scene that has EVER aired on network television.  Hell, it beats just about anything ever shot.  This is Mr. Edlund’s legacy right here, because who would think that Jared and Jensen playing Sam and Dean would have to do a scene where Sam and Dean playing Jared and Jensen have to play Sam and Dean??  Then there’s Misha playing Misha playing Castiel.  My head is dizzy thinking of the dynamics alone, let alone that funniest shit ever done that comes from this.  

Sam is sitting in his chair with Misha, who notices the priority package.  He asks what’s in it.  “Part of a dead person,” Sam answers truthfully.  Remember, you asked Misha.  Dean then arrives and delivers the blow.  “It looks like we’re going to have to do a little acting.”  Sam does not take this well.  

Cue the “Supernatural” electronic marker.  It’s scene 36, take one.  Fake Bob Singer yells “Action.”  Misha switches into normal Castiel mode, and delivers his line while looking straight into the camera with his classic Castiel steely glare.  He delivers his line and turns around to “Sam and Dean.”  Sam looks petrified, and Dean is giving him this super weird wide eyed stare that just isn’t right.  Dean moves forward, looks down, realizes he missed his mark and steps over.  Cut!  Fake Bob is confused.

Now we’re up to take 8.  Misha delivers the line, and Sam is now jostling around in the background, not sure where to put his hands.  Dean is still giving that very wrong stare with the stiff shoulders.  He moves forward, gets his mark this time, while Sam looks like he’s voguing in the background.  “Dean, grimly…” Sorry, I just can’t contain myself. 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  (deep breaths, deep breaths)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  (more deep breaths) 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

(goes for tissues, wipes tears from eyes).

Fake Bob Singer is now really freaked out and yells “Cut!”  Misha turns around to the front, away from Sam and Dean, and he’s freaked out too.  He silently mouths, “What the hell?”  Take 10 as they fix Misha’s hair.  Now, it’s Sam’s turn to deliver a line.  Sam, and I’m putting this mildly, is a very, very, very bad actor.  It’s like Jared in season one (I’m joking!!!!).  “It’s because we have no other choice,” he says in a soft voice.  Dean whispers under his breath, “Don’t look at the camera.”  “What?” Sam asks.  Dean repeats and goes back to that very off grim stare with the stiff shoulders and lips pressed together like he’s trying to pucker.  An overwhelmed fake Serge starts playing with his laser pointer.  Everyone else just has no clue what the hell is going on.  

So, next take, Sam starts looking up at the ceiling!  He talks louder too.  “It’s because we have no choice.” Fake Bob yells “cut!” and now we’re up to take 15.  Misha tries again, but when he turns around Sam and Dean just stare at him, but this time Dean’s eyes are even wider and Sam looks like he wants to cry.  Cut!  

Sam’s turn.  He holds out his hand stiffly and says, “If there’s a key…” He looks down to see if he made his mark and then he stiffly holds out his other hand.  “…there must be a lock.”  Fake Bob cuts again.  Sam tries again and as he goes on with his line about finding the weapons, fake Kevin Parks is reading the pages to see where Sam has just gone off script.  Oh, this is epic, just epic.  Let’s blockquote it. 

If there’s a key…then there has to be a lock. And when we find the lock, we can get the weapons, and then we can have the weapons. And the lock. We’ll still have the lock, I imagine, because we’ve opened it, and, of course, the initial key.

  

THEN, Dean throws him off by delivering his line in this really gruff, Castiel like voice, “We need to get all three of that crap.”  Sam blurts out “What?” and Dean whispers “That’s the way he talks.”  Sam says “Oh” and fake Serge’s twisted face reflects how completely agonizing this has become.  Dean stops and asks if they really need all those lines.  “I think we covered it.”  Fake Bob yells cut again and asks, “What is happening?” repeatedly.  An Edlund screwball script, that’s what!  Fake Serge has an better answer.  “An atrocity is happening.”  They determine Jared and Jensen need to stop and Bob asks “Did we get anything we can use?”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  (deep breaths, deep breaths)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  (more deep breaths) 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! 

I’m gushing tears right now.  Gushing.  My side pain has moved all the way to my back, my gut, my chest – I’m a freaking physical wreck.  Yet, do you think any mercy is coming?  NO!  What happens next is my favorite part of this entire scene.  The zinger.  Edlund gets to rip himself!  The three guys take their seats.  Fake Kevin Parks decides they could go for something experimental.  Fake Bob throws the trademark line, “Season Six.” 

Sam, who’s flipping through the pages, delivers the killer line.  “Who wrote this?  Nobody says ‘penultimate.'”  Dean – “Gun, mouth, now.”  So…Misha decides it’s time to tweet about this!  “IMHO, J&J had a late one last night.” 

OMG, OMG, OMG, I can’t take this anymore!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  (deep breaths, deep breaths)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  (more deep breaths)  Okay, I’m, no,
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Oh man, that’s it, I’m toast!  

(Twenty minutes later)  I think I can go on now.  Where did we leave off?  Oh right…

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! BWAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

(Twenty more minutes later).  Can’t…type…laughing…too…much…  

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! BWAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Okay, okay, I think I’m good (Ow, Ow, Ow).  Where in the world were we?  Right, the instruction is the move on, so Sam and Dean go for the whole doing the spell thing.  I’m good.  Misha is tweeting, “ROTLFMAO”.  Oh yes Misha, that has been well covered on my end!  

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! BWAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Okay, Okay, back to reality.  Oh no, fake Bob is on the phone to fake Sera.  Initially that was supposed to be the real Sera Gamble on the other end, but I guess they ended up going with an actress.  She wants to know what the “terror alert” level is.  You do know who’s writing this script, don’t you Sera?  Bob says Orange.  “They’re talking to each other.”  Sera thinks that’s a good thing.  “I thought so, but now Jensen’s living at Jared’s house…”  

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  (deep breaths, deep breaths) HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  (more deep breaths) HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

This keeps going!  If any of you didn’t know in season three, Jensen actually did live in Jared’s house.  They were roomies.  Edlund is leaving out nothing!!!  Man, I have to get through this1  This recap is turning into nothing but laughing fits.  I’ve got to gain composure.  (Wibble).  Nope!

Dean has the sigil painted on the window, and Sam wonders if it’s it.  It is.  Back to fake Kevin Parks.   “Misha’s celebrity tweet says it’s a black market organ thing, I’m betting drugs.”  Fake Bob finishes on the phone with fake Sera.  “I think they’ve lost any shred of talent they’ve ever had.  Suddenly right behind him Sam and Dean burst through the window.  They land hard on the ground below.  The sigil thing didn’t work!  Dean complains it hurts, while fake Kevin repeats his earlier statement without missing a beat.  “Drugs.”  

Must…get…through…this.  Beside, I’m all laughed out.  I have nothing left.  Damn you Edlund, you broke me!  

Back to Dean’s “Fake mine” trailer.  Sam wonders if they did it wrong.  Dean knows that spell was perfect and should have worked.  Sam speculates maybe it can’t.  He was up all night looking online (so he didn’t go to bed with Gen?  Too bad.  It also means sleep isn’t required in this dimension either).  There’s no evidence the apocalypse happened in this world.  Monsters, demons, ghosts, they’re all pretend.  That means no hunters.  “No demons, no Hell, no Heaven, no God?”  Dean asks.  Ooh, someone has now gotten philosophical.  It’s the John Lennon world!  “Even better,” Sam says, “no angels.”  Yeah, you wish!  There’s a set for a cheap motel room and the window starts glowing a red spot.  Virgil bursts right through it!  This is about to get brutal.  

 

A stunt with the real Jensen and Jared stunt extras is going on in front of the on set shell of the Impala and the real Lou Bollo watches.  I wonder how Lou Bollo actually got to play himself?  I assume he wasn’t bound by any union rules.  Sam and Dean walk by, and Dean is still ranting.  “Maybe we can’t get out of Earth #2 right now, but we can at least get out of the Canadian part of it.  I hear one more conversation about hockey and I’m gonna puke.”  Oh man, if I weren’t so brutally exhausted from all the laughing, I would absolutely die over that comment.  I grew up in the Detroit area, Hockeytown USA.  Since it’s on the border, we had a Canadian TV channel, and it was hockey everything.  Dean is not exaggerating!  Good thing I love hockey.  

Sam and Dean are lost as to which way to go, and Dean goes through the sewer set that was used in “Like A Virgin.”  Sam tries to stop him and that’s when they spot Virgil.  He tries to zap them, but no angel powers!  Sam’s stunned and Dean smirks.  “Sorry dude, mojo free zone.”  He hits Virgil.  Sam joins him and they taunt Virgil about having no magic while pounding him senseless.  Lou Bollo, who’s bragging to a girl about coordinating all the stunts, notices the fight going on in the nearby set when she asks if that stunt is his.  He and the stunt extras end up stopping Sam and Dean, who were doing a great job of beating the living crap out of Virgil.  Virgil runs, and “Jared and Jensen” are in some serious trouble.  I’ll say!  Oh, and Virgil swipes the key out of Sam’s pocket before he runs.  You know, the easy pocket that got Sam in similar trouble in “Bad Day at Black Rock.”    

Now the conference call with fake Sera.  She doesn’t understand what’s going on.  I think we’re all there with you Sera!  “Well, we really don’t understand it ourselves,” Bob says and I LOVE this next shot!  Bob is shown in between two conference room chairs and behind him is the award display, and the various awards the show has won throughout the years are there.  The Saturn award, the People’s Choice Award, and some others that I’m sure more clever fans than I have identified before.   

Fake Bob continues to explain Jared and Jensen were seen beating an extra to death.  Fake Jim Michaels explains it wasn’t all the way to death, only part way.  Oh, well if that’s all.  Fake Kevin Parks backs fake Jim’s play, mentioning the guy could still run.  I love teamwork.  Fake Bob promises to look into all of that then surmises that Jared and Jensen are on some psychedelic acid trip.  Fake Sera offers to talk to them, but fake Jim speculates they don’t know Sera because she’s new.  Ooh, that smarts!  “No offense,” and Sera’s “Right” indicates there clearly is offense.  Fake Bob suggests that Kripke needs to come up himself.  “He created this show, they’ll listen to him.”  Fake Sera is not happy, and now I’m wondering if this is something the real Sera has had to deal with.  “How does that make me look?  I’m supposed to be running this thing.  Besides Eric is off in some cabin somewhere writing his next Pilot.”  “He sold Octocobra?” Fake Bob exclaims in amazement.  “Mother of God, they’ll buy anything.”  

Okay, I’ve got something left for this.   HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!   Okay, I’m, no… 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

I swear, when hearing this biting dialogue, you really do wonder if Edlund is projecting and hitting a little too close to home.  Ah well, it’s hysterical no matter what the intent.  It’s even funnier now since Kripke was writing a pilot and sold “Revolution” to NBC, and is stealing people from “Supernatural” left and right for that show.  Considering that show’s creative struggles so far in season one, I can’t help but echo fake Bob’s sentiment!  They’ll buy anything (but I have high hopes for season two, especially since they snagged Edlund).  

Sam and Dean figure Virgil is stuck there like they are, and Dean wants to find him so he can kick his ass.  Unfortunately, (this is the sad part!), Virgil finds Misha instead.  Misha is wearing a butt ugly blue cardigan sweater, over his “Namaste” t-shirt, and is ambushed in his car after tweeting about having a feeling someone is in the back seat.  Yep, he screams like a girl.  

The wheels continue to fall off the wagon when Sam and Dean are looking through the set of Bobby’s house for Virgil and fake Bob Singer is waiting for them.  Sam tries to tell him they’re looking for… “That extra you tried to kill?” fake Bob says finishing the sentence.  Fake Bob wonders if it’s money.  “Is this the kind of act that goes away if we can scare up some coverage on a raise?”  “More money?” An incredulous Dean says.  “You already pay these two jokers enough as it is.”  Sam scoffs in agreement.  Ooh, I bet that line was really hard to say in real life.  The J’s aren’t exactly on the highest paid list and they really work long hours.  But since this is bizarro real “Supernatural” world, they probably do get paid much better. 

Fake Bob goes on, trying to appeal to them.  “I’d like that over these years we’ve grown closer, that you don’t think of me as Director Bob, or Executive Producer Bob Singer…”  That gets Sam and Dean’s attention!  “…that you think of me as Uncle Bob.”  Sam thinks he’s kidding.  “So the character in the show, Bobby Singer…” Dean finishes the sentence.  “What kind of a douche bag names a character after himself?”  “That’s not right,” says Sam.  Oh no, it’s happening again.  

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  (deep breaths, deep breaths) HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  (more deep breaths) Can’t…stop…too…funny…

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

I’m never, ever, ever, going to get through this episode in one sitting.  I’m exhausted!  Fake Bob wants to start again, but Sam and Dean aren’t even listening to this joker anymore and turn around to converse among themselves.  They don’t think Virgil would leave without the key, and that’s when Sam realizes it’s not in his pocket.  The unlucky pocket.  Fake Bob Singer though isn’t done talking to them, and spells it out.  They can’t come to work on poppers.  “And smuggle kidneys in from Mexico.  And make up lines as you go.  You cannot make up your own lines.”  Hee, so that’s the absolute worst offense, huh?  Good to know!  Sam doesn’t have time for this.  “You know, screw our careers Bob.”  He leaves. 

Dean finishes up with fake Bob, calling Sam “his brother.”  “That’s right, I said brother.  Because you know what Bob, we’re the Winchesters.  Always have been and always will be.  And where we’re from, people don’t know who we are, but you know what, we matter to that world.  In fact we even save a son of a bitch once or twice.  And yeah okay here maybe there’s some fans who give a crap about this nonsense…”  “I wouldn’t call it nonsense,” answers fake Bob.  Dean continues, “…but, Bob Singer, if that even is your real name, tell me, what does it all mean?”  Fake Bob thinks this talk is good, because we’ve all had our psychotic breaks, right?  He can work with that.  Sam arrives and tells Dean he thinks Virgil has the key.  Not good.  “We quit,” Dean says, shocking fake Bob.  They leave in a hurry.  I’m very glad this isn’t the real world!  I’d die over them quitting.    

I know this part is meant to be one of those dark humor things, but it actually makes me sad.  You can’t kill Misha!   Talk about finding a way to tone down the complete absurdity of the episode.  This is “Supernatural” I guess, no matter what universe.  Virgil leads a crying, quivering Misha to a dark alley with a knife at his throat while Misha cries like a baby.  Virgil is not impressed at all with this world.  “How do you do it?  Live in this grubby shabby desert, nothing greater than yourselves.  Nothing but dirt when you die.  No power, no magic, there’s no magic in the universe.”  Misha isn’t understanding at all, nor is the bum in the alley that’s watching all this.  Misha is openly weeping now as Virgil holds him to the wall.  “Nothing put a bag of stings and pulls.  You should thank me for what I’m about to do.”  Misha wants to know what that is.  Virgil needs to make an important call.  Oh, so that’s why Meg slashing someone’s throat and communicating with someone on the other side with a cauldron of their swirling blood was in the credits.  Guess what’s happening to Misha?  Virgil isn’t happy this is what he’s been reduced to.  I’m not happy either, because I find Misha’s gurgling very sad as Virgil calls out to Raphael.  

Back at the Casa de Padalecki, Sam and Dean are hoping to get inside the police dispatch system to put an APB out on Virgil.  Luckily they don’t have to do that, because Gen comes out a screaming, crying, hysterical mess.  She breaks the news that Misha’s been stabbed to death, and Sam and Dean only want to know where.  “Where?” Gen asks, not exactly expecting that response.  

There we are, I was looking for that third maple leaf gag.  This is priceless!  It’s on the yellow “Caution, Do Not Enter” police tape marking off the alley of Misha’s demise.  Hee, that’s too good.  I just love all the touches in this episode.  I was informed by one of our Canadian writers BTW that no, they don’t have the maple leaf on their police tape.  Still, it’s a great touch!  The Vancouver police are on the job and Sam and Dean are able to walk through all of this because this universe doesn’t mind having celebrities take a detailed gander at delicate crime scenes.  They offer a fresh set of eyes I guess. 

A cop is talking with the bum that witnessed all this, and he’s confirming that the name mentioned was Raphael, as in the ninja turtle.  Oh, so they at least have Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in this world.  But, this Raphael was up in Heaven.  Sam and Dean are interested!  “Yeah, that’s right.  The scary man killed the attractive crying man and then he started to pray.”  (Fighting back laughter).  That’s when the man heard a voice reply back.  It was Raphael telling Virgil to go back to the cross over point and he would take Virgil and the key home.  Dean reaches into his pocket and pulls out 50 canadian dollars from a stack of money.  The bum looks at him weird like he was expecting more and then bolts.  Yeah Dean, 50 Canadian dollars doesn’t even buy lunch these days.  

Sam points out the obvious, if Virgil gets back with the key Cas is dead and their world is toast.  Hey, there’s always this one!  Dean is determined not to let that happen.  “How bad can an angel with no wings be?”  We’re about to find out, because guess who’s found a gun shop?  In Canada?  Well, it’s more of a sporting goods store, but do sporting goods stores sell such a selection of guns in Canada?  I didn’t think Canadians were all the keen on guns.  Or did Virgil have to cross the border into Washington or something?  Without a passport.  I really could have used a lampshade here.  

The clerk is impressed that Virgil knows his weapons so well as Virgil checks out a shotgun.  “I am the weapons keeper of Heaven,” Virgil says.  He knocks out the clerk, and then shoots a guy who walks in.  Was that really necessary?  Canadians don’t shoot one another.  This attracts attention.  Ah well, they’ll assume Virgil is from the US or something.  Great, a pissed off angel on a shooting rampage.  

Aww, now for the tender brotherly moment.  I told you this script had everything!  Sam and Dean are back at the set for Bobby’s house, and didn’t these guys quit?  I’m surprised they got past security.  Dean points out the other, other alternative, the one where they succeed.  They stop Virgil, get the key, and they’re stuck there forever.  “No, we’ll figure out a way back,” Sam says.  Dean doesn’t think Sam would be that broken up if they didn’t.  Sam thinks he’s being stupid.  “Well, I’m just saying, no Hell below us, above us only sky?”  Sam points out their friends are back there.  Oh, don’t worry Sam, by next season they’ll all be dead.  

“Yeah, but here you’ve got a pretty good life,” Dean points out.  “I mean back home the hits have been coming since you were six months old.  You got to admit being a bazillionaire married to Ruby, the whole package, it’s no contest.”  Aww, I just love this.  Sam gets in this world the one thing Dean has only ever wanted for his brother, a happy,  successful, safe life.  Dean is right to question whether Sam should return.  Going back just means more crap that will never end, and when you see what happens in seasons seven and eight, everything for Sam just keeps going downhill.  

Sam though he reiterates what the audience needs to remember, that fourth wall that’s been breached needs to be repaired.  It may be a nice life, but it’s not theirs.  “You know you were right.  We just don’t mean the same thing here.  We’re not even brothers here man.”  Really clever huh?  That’s the writer’s way of saying that our little screwball, breaking the fourth wall adventure has been fun, but that separation between reality and fantasy needs to happen again fast, before the show loses all credibility with the audience. 

Oh, but before normalcy is restored, Ben Edlund needs to live out a fantasy.  He has a set of victims in mind for his hit list, and it’s brutal.  He starts with the men that gave him his job.  Talk about biting the hands that feed you!  Eric Kripke pulls up in a Hummer.  In my hometown of Columbus, there was this notorious joker that would put fake tickets on people’s windshields.  He’d do all sort of crazy offenses, some proper and some just plain funny.  Anytime he spotted a Hummer, he’d assign a $40 ticket.  “Asshole offense.”  So whenever I see a Hummer, that comes to mind.  

Fake Kripke steps out where fake Bob Singer and the confused PA from earlier who chased Jensen in the Impala are waiting for him.  Fake Kripke is all concerned over the matter, and fake Bob thanks him for coming.  He’s glad they can still call on him.  Fake Kripke is all aghast about Misha, for a few seconds.  “It got us the front page of Variety though, did you see that?”  Fake Bob is impressed.  I am too, because Variety really doesn’t know much about the show or give it any credit.  Oh Misha, see, your death was not in vain.  Fake Bob reminds them it’s still tragic, and naturally fake Kripke concurs, that is until the subject is changed to “Octocobra.”  Kripke is all smiles again, for he thinks he had a breakthrough.  Oh, that’s good to hear.  Kripke promises to tell him about it at lunch, and I LOVE fake Bob’s “Can’t wait,” translating into “Just kill me.”  

Fake Kripke is ready to “bust into their trailers, guns blazing,” ready to take care of the whole mess when nameless PA points out Virgil fast walking around the corner.  Fake Bob remembers him as the extra Jared and Jensen tried to kill, so fake Kripke decides to have a chat.  To be honest, I still don’t really know what movie/TV show this ends up paying homage to, but it’s utterly brutal and totally fun.  Virgil whips out his shotgun and as fake Bob shouts out in slo-mo “Nooooooo!!!!!” the dramatic western themed soundtrack rings in the background as fake Kripke is in slo-mo, bullet by bullet, blown away by Virgil.  Fake Kripke in eventually collapses to the ground all sprawled out while Virgil stands over him.  Fake Bob Singer is acting stupid by stand off to the side wide open, while even the PA smartly runs.  So Virgil just reaches into his coat and blows fake Bob away with a handgun. Hee, that’s pretty cool.  The soundtrack finishes with a wailing woman and horn, and the shot closes in on dead fake Kripke, the bullet wound to the stomach still smoking.     

Holy shit!  I just don’t know what to say.  This is nuts!  Unlike Misha’s death, which was brutal but sad, this is epically savage, and utterly perfect the way it’s staged.  I think everyone had way too much fun pulling together that scene.  What detail! Maybe Edlund isn’t the only one living out a major fantasy here.  If you’re going to kill your bosses, this is the way to do it.   

How do you top that?  Virgil tries by going inside next.  He really doesn’t need to be killing people at this point, but it obviously feels good to him.  And Edlund too.  Fake Kevin Parks tells the real Lou Bollo he doesn’t remember having gunfire on the call sheet, so Virgil shoots him in the back.  Then he blows away the real Lou Bollo.  I guess playing himself didn’t really pay off.  But then, Virgil tries to blow away fake Serge Ladoucer.  He just stands there and sways backward, dodging the bullets that comes near him.  He’s a ninja!  Who knew?  

Fake Serge jumps out of the way just in time for Sam to show up and distract Virgil.  He fires and what do you know, Sam’s reflexes are just as sharp as Serge’s.  He jumps out of the line of fire, just in time for Dean to show up and tackle Virgil.  They fight, and it just happens to be the set where the sigil in the window is.  Sam jumps in to help out and I can’t help but smile, because the real Lou Bollo, who’s nearby supposedly dead, helped coordinate this stunt!  Sam tackles Virgil and gets the key while Dean holds him down, but the window starts shaking and the sigil starts glowing.  “Raphael, run!” Sam says, but it’s too late.  They fly backward and…the scene ends in a freeze frame!  We don’t see them go through the window all the way, only the noise of glass breaking as the scene fades to black.  I wonder if Charles Beeson is there in real life shaking his head, going “Season six.”  I wonder if Ben Edlund is diabolically laughing at all of us.  

Sam and Dean fall through the glass on the other side, and it’s a real motel room.  Suddenly a black woman approaches them, dressed in one very nice suit.  So Raphael had to find a woman vessel this time?  She’s actually pretty damned good looking for a commanding archangel.  Dean even thinks so.  “Raphael?  Nice meatsuit.  Dude looks like a lady,” he says to Sam under his breath, but Raphaella has the hand grip of agony going and both Sam and Dean crumple to the floor.  Raphaella wants the key and picks it up off the ground. 

Sound of angel wings, and it’s our good buddy Balthazar!  “And that will open you a locker at the Albany bus station.”  Hee, got to love his sense of humor.  He needed a “modest decoy” to make it more convincing.  Gee, there’s another lampshade!  I think.  Makes sense to me.  If it was something elaborate, us fans would have never bought it.  Raphaella doesn’t notice the irony, because she wants the damned weapons.  Too late.  “They were so well hidden, that I needed time to find them.  So, I volunteered this two marmosets for a game of fetch with Virgil.”  Oh man, Sam and Dean are pissed!  That’s quite an elaborate setup, but it’s so Balthazar, isn’t it?  

Balthazar thanks Sam and Dean for being an adequate “stick” (Oh my God, I’m bursting into laughter again, but I have to stop myself because what’s happening here is important).  Raphaella threatens Balthazar, but he just taunts her and calls her “Honey.”  Raphaella goes to pull the magic fingers of doom but suddenly one familiar voice looms out.  It’s Castiel!  He has the weapons now and it’s time for a spectacular show of power.  Lightening strikes and the shadow wings of doom raise up on the brick wall behind him.  Show off!  I guess that’s a reward for having to do a scene earlier where he’s crying like a schoolgirl.  Cas steps forward.  “If you don’t want to die tonight, back off.  Balthazar snickers, like his goon has just saved him from the school bully, and gives Castiel some parting words of advice.  “Now that you have your sword, try not to die by it.”  Yeah, “Cassie” will keep that in mind. 

Cass briskly walks up to Sam and Dean and touches their shoulders.  They’re back at Bobby’s, as in the real Bobby’s.  Except, Bobby’s window is blown out, which is really cool because that’s Edlund’s very clever way of hinting to the viewer that the fourth wall is still exposed.  This show has a history of decimating that fourth wall, and it looks like it’s not up in one easy fix.  This little adventure has done some damage, in this case with the viewer believability.  

Sam isn’t happy.  “You were in on this, using us as a diversion?”  Castiel is candid.  “It was Balthazar’s plan.  I would have done the same thing.”  “That’s not comforting Cas,” Dean says, echoing Sam’s pissed off ness. “When will I be able to make you understand, if I lose against Raphael, we all lose everything,” Cas angrily says back.  Dean understands, but he needs a bit more.  “Yeah Cas, we know the stakes.  THAT’S ABOUT ALL YOU TOLD US!”  I recall at the time, we all wanted more.  Desperately.  I think we were screaming at real Sera Gamble to stop toying around.  Then we found out a few episodes later and went, “Meh.”  I’m still very, very pissed that Castiel killed Balthazar in the season finale after Balthazar helped him so much here.  I think that is the most unredeemable thing Cas has done.  Kripke too.  

Anyway, Dean and Castiel have an angry stare off, and then Cas apologizes.  “I’ll explain when I can.”  He goes, and Dean again gets to say, “Freaking angels.”  Hee, knowing the ending of season eight, his angel troubles only get worse, huh?  Sam then does something that’s very important, establishing for us that all back to normal in our  “Supernatural” universe again.  He walks over to the doorway and pounds it with his hand, verifying it’s solid and not a flimsy set.  Except it really is a flimsy set, but we’ll stop the brain teasers for now.  Sam is relieved, as am I.  

“It’s real,” he tells Dean, even though it’s really only real to them.  Yes, I’ll stop now.  Dean isn’t impressed.  “Real, moldy, termite eaten, home sweet home.”  Right, with a bunch of dick angels back in your universe.  “Chock full of crap that want to skin ya.  Oh, and uh, we’re broke again.”  What a second, where’s all that gold you guys just got in “Like A Virgin?”  You’re not that bad off.  No, it’s not enough for the luxury mansion, but…I’m stopping.  Sam, who is again ending the episode playing the role of optimist (this is better than a lot of the crap he’s been through), delivers the zinger, and Edlund breaks his rule of three for a punchline.  At least it’s funny!  “But hey, at least we’re talking.”  Dean rolls his eyes (realizing the joke is a bit old by now) and it’s time to roll credits. 

Whew!  I need to take a long breather after that one.  Intense!  Maybe someday I’ll have to do a detailed academic analysis on the script structure in this one.  You know, for all of us budding fiction writers that realize humbly we are no where close to Edlund’s league.  We can always aspire!  Hope you enjoyed the detailed recap of this A+ “Supernatural” classic.