Robin’s Rambles: “Defending Your Life”
Sam asks Jo if she idolized her father when he was alive. “Basically,” she says. “So why did you stop?” asks Sam–“to impress some loud-mouth you just met? Or because you wanted to be like your dad?” “Daddy issues, definitely,” admits Jo, “listen, Dean, I don’t. . .” She abruptly disappears at a gesture from Osiris, who tells the brother that they can have “a moment to strategize. And then I’ll call my next witness,” he says pointedly to Dean, who glares at him balefully.
Sam asks Dean who the next witness is. “He looked at you like you might know.” “I have no clue!” cries Dean–“This whole thing is like an episode of Pee Wee’s Playhouse.” Osiris calls Sam Winchester to the stand. “Not exactly the life you expected, is it?” demands Osiris. “Details a little different,” admits Sam. “For a while there, you were going to be a real lawyer, marry Jess.” “That was a long time ago,” says Sam. “But weren’t you out of the family racket until Dean showed back up in that gas guzzler–the truth now. (Sam kissing Jess in the nurse’s outfit on Halloween, Dean shoving him against the bridge, Jess burning on the ceiling, Dean saving him from the fire.) “It’s complicated,” says Sam, not as shaken as I would have expected. “That one act had quite a domino effect,” says Osiris, “come back, your girl’s dead.” “That wasn’t Dean’s fault,” says Sam. “Sure, and neither is everything that came after,” says Osiris, “all the death and the blood and hanging on by a thread, none of that is on Dean directly.” To his horror, (Dean recalls hitting Sam when they first met Gordon, shoving Ben aside when he turned into a vampire, the death of the poor schlub who believed in the mandroid, Pam’s death, Jo’s death, Dad’s burning, Dad’s tombstone in the episode with the Djinn, Sam dying in Dean’s arms, Lisa in Dean’s arms, gravely wounded.) Dean’s eyes are welling up. Osiris, to Sam, “Don’t you think that your brother dragged you back to that catastrophic mess because he’d rather have you with him than be alone.” Sam thinks for a long moment and finally answers, “No. One way or another, I’d have gotten pulled back in.” “You know that for certain,” says Osiris. “I’m pretty sure,” says Sam–“I’m POSITIVE.” “I believe you,” says Osiris, hands raised as if defending himself, “hey, if it was about convincing ME, I would say. . .I don’t decide anything, Sam. I don’t decide Dean’s guilt. I just weigh the guilt that’s already there. This is souly about how Dean feels way down deep. Them’s the breaks.” “Wait,” says Sam, “so if Dean believes he’s innocent, then he is?” “If. . .a big IF,” clarifies Osiris, “why do I bring up the past? To see if he feels like talking about it. People want to be judged. They REALLY do! When your heart’s heavy, lemmee tell you, your punishment’s a mercy.” I want to call Dean to the stand,” says Sam. “Oh you do now?” says Osiris–“there is an order to the stuff, you know. OK, I’ll allow it.” He snaps his fingers, freeing Dean from the chains. Standing before his brother, Sam asks, “So, when you came and got me, did you know that Jess would die?–or any of it?” “Of course not,” answers Dean. “How could you, are you psychic?” asks Sam. When Dean doesn’t respond, Sam says, “That’s a question.” “No, definitely not psychic,” says Dean. “Great,” says Sam, “so why would you feel guilty about no predicting the future?” “I guess it didn’t make any sense,” admits Dean, “actually, no, I don’t.” “What about Jo–did you actually kill her?” asks Sam. “No,” replies Dean. “Isn’t it true that you don’t feel guilty about her?” asks Sam–“that you’re just sad she’s dead?–that it just blows?” “Actually, maybe yeah,” agrees Dean. “Mmm mmm mmm,” I like your style, Sam,” says Osiris, “very engaging.” “Dean, does any of this really feel like it’s on you?” asks Sam. “Not really,” says Dean. “Then is your heart heavy with guilt, or just plain heavy–and none of this guy’s business?” asks Sam. “What you said, the second thing,” answers Dean. “Then I rest my case,” says Sam. “Very good, both of you,” praises Osiris–“all right, because I really enjoyed that, I’m going to be generous and ask, Dean, do you want me to call my last witness?” (Dean sees himself stabbing Amy to death, and Sam thanking him for letting Amy go, for doing the right thing, and himself saying no problem. Aw shit.) “Or have you had enough?” finishes Osiris. Seeing Dean’s face, Sam asks, “What the hell’s he talkin’ about?” “Stop Ally McBealin’, just drop the hammer, will ya!” orders Dean. “He’s giving us more time!” says Sam. “It’s not going to make a difference, Sam!” says Dean. “Do you need another moment?” asks Osiris. He rises, bangs his huge gavel and says, “The court has reached a verdict: I find you, Dean Winchester, guilty in your heart and sentence you to die. I suggest you get your affairs in order. Quickly.”
Sam and Dean return to their hotel to find the guy they tried to save dead, being wheeled out on a gurney. Sam is upset that the man didn’t listen to him. “They would have gotten to him one way or another,” says Dean, “he was battin’ a thousand.” “There’s still time,” says Sam, referring to Dean, and they jump on research for what appears to be a long time. Bobby calls with a way to give Osiris a dirt nap–for two hundred years, at least. “It’s worked a couple of times since the pharaohs were big,” says Bobby. To Sam, that’s only temporary, but Bobby says that’s good enough until a hunter in a spacesuit comes up with something better. “You’re going to need to stab him with a Ram’s Horn,” says Bobby. “Where am I going to find that in Dearborn?” asks Sam. “No clue,” says Bobby, “but make sure it’s a sharp piece, he ain’t gonna let you stab him twice.” “Yeah, thanks,” says Sam, heading to the computer. “Apparently, Jewish people blow through them once a year,” he tells Dean. “Where are you going to find one this time of night?” his brother asks. “Synagogue?” says Sam. “You’re gonna steal from the temple,” says Dean, sipping from his drink, “that’s a new low.” “You’re on Death Row, quit jokin’ around,” warns Sam, and holds his hand out for the keys. “Dick’s gonna sic Jo after me,” says Dean. “You’re a hunter, you know how to deal with ghosts,” Sam reminds him. Dean drops the keys in his hand. “So you’re suggesting I kill her again?” asks Dean. “You didn’t kill her,” Sam reminds him, “I’ll hurry.” Dean pours a salt circle around himself, then quietly says, “You can come out now.” Jo walks out of the shadows.
Sam finds a nice, sharp Ram’s Horn waiting on a desk. A bald, bespectacled Rabbi comes into the room. “I’m guessing you’re not here for Bar Mitzvah lessons,” he says. “Uhhhh,” says Sam. (So what followed? A knock-out punch? The truth, which the Rabbi accepted and believed?)
At the same tavern where Osiris eavesdropped on Dean, he now listens to the guilty sins of a red-haired woman as she pours them out to Mia.
“You know, I’d never do this,” Jo tells Dean. “I know,” he says. “I guess it’s his thing,” Jo says, “a kind of twisted eye for an eye.” “It’s OK,” Dean assures her. “”No it’s not,” she insists, “you deserve better.” “No, you did–you deserve better, Jo,” he says.
Ram’s Head on the seat beside him, Sam is racing the Impala back to the hotel. (How did he talk the Rabbi into letting him keep it, I wonder?)
“My life was good, really,” says Jo. “He was right, you know,” says Dean, “that dick judge about me.” “Ne he wasn’t,” she says. “You were a kid,” says Dean. “Not true!” she counters. “You and Sam,” says Dean, “hunters are never kids, I never was–I didn’t even stop to think about it.” “It’s not your fault,” she says, “it wasn’t on you.” “But I didn’t want to do it alone,” says Dean, “the right thing would have been to send your ass back home to your mom.” “Like to have seen you try,” she smiles. “He was right about one thing,” she says. “What, your massive crush on me?” grins Dean. “Shut up,” she teases, then says, seriously, “you carry all kinds of crap you don’t have to, and it gets cleared out when you’re dead.” Well,” he says, “in that case, you should be able to see that I am 90% crap–I get rid of that, what then?” “You really want to die not knowing?” she asks. He nods. She tells him it’s time. She suddenly appears at the stove and turns on the gas. (He remembers them setting up the bomb in that hardware store, pressing the detonator into her hand, kissing her, then the explosion that burned up her and Ellen.) He realizes how she’s going to kill him.
Neal’s Tavern – The guilt-ridden redhead exits the bar.
Dean stands, steadfast, in the salt circle. Jo reminds him, “I used to hunt ghosts, I know the tricks.” She freezes the window pane. When it cracks and breaks, wind scatters the salt, leaving Dean without protection. “He’s making me do this,” Jo reminds Dean. “It’s OK,” he says gently.
The redhead drops her keys before she can get into her car. Osiris grabs her, covers her mouth with one hand.
Jo slips Dean’s lighter from his pocket and opens it. (In the hardware store, he holds her hand, showing her how to press the doorbell and detonate the bomb he and Sam created.) She only has to flick the lighter and the entire room will explode into flames, killing him.
Osiris struggles with his red-haired prey. Sam comes up behind him and stabs him in the back with the Ram’s Horn, deep and determined. Osiris’ eyes go blue; his head turns to stone as he collapses to the ground. Gasping, Sam surveys his handiwork.
Jo presses her hand to Dean’s face, a gesture of love, affection and goodbye. He closes his eyes. The lighter falls to the floor; Jo flickers and disappears. Dean opens his eyes. “Jo?” he calls. She’s gone.
The brothers, enjoying a couple of beers, have parked the Impala by a gorgeous lake. They’re leaning against their beloved home, talking about Jo. “So, it seem like she was in pain?” asks Sam. “No, she just kind of faded,” says Dean, “regular Jo, actually, maybe a little happier.” “I got a question,” says Dean, “so where the hell did that come from–volunteering to defend me?” “He was gonna kick me out,” says Sam. “I dunno,” says Dean, “in another life, you might have made a pretty decent scuzzbag.” They laugh together. “I’m zero for one,” says Sam. “That’s not your fault,” says Dean, “you were pretty convincing.” “So who was he talkin’ about–that whole final witness thing?” asks Sam. “No idea,” says Dean, “honestly, that could be just about anybody dead we know.” (How many people can make that statement?) Sam sighs in agreement. “By the way,” says Dean, “I get why Judge Judy put me on trial, I got guilt comin’ out of my pores, but why did he skip you?” “I think I just don’t feel guilty anymore,” explains Sam. “Come on,” chides Dean. “I don’t know what to tell you,” says Sam, “I spent a lot of time feelin’ pretty crappy, like, my whole life.” “You got a secret stash of happy pills?” asks Dean. “Hell,” says Sam significantly–“look, I’m not sayin’ it’s logical, I’m just sayin’ I did a lot of stuff I shoulda felt bad for, and I paid a lotta dues, and I came out the other side.” “And that worked,” says Dean, “you really feel like your slate’s wiped?” “No,” says Sam, frustrated because he can’t really explain it, “nothing ever gets wiped, “sometimes I see Lucifer when I friggin’ brush my teeth, but I finally feel like my past is my past and I can move on with my life–you know, hopefully.” (I was weeping during this speech, happy for Sam.) “Easier said than done,” says Dean. “No arguing that,” agrees Sam. They are standing on opposite sides of the Impala. “I don’t know whether to be jealous or weirded-out,” says Dean. “Get used to it,” advises Sam, “I don’t wanna sound lame, but I kinda feel good, Dean.” “Well, you are going to be a pleasure to ride with,” quips Dean. They slide smoothly into their respective seats, Dean at the wheel, Sam riding shotgun, and drive away.
I think of the hopeful smile on Sam’s face and wish to see the same on Dean’s face one day soon. I really, really do.
Editor’s comments: For the most part, I liked this episode. I found the first third, with Sam and Dean investigating the crimes, a little too familiar and somewhat boring. Dean’s weariness actually communicated itself to me in some peculiar way, like I was going to have to investigate all those acres of orchard. I got the impression that his guilt over Amy was weighing hard on him from the moment this ep began. After he spoke to it about Mia, he was actually NERVOUS about having sex with her – the great Dean Winchester! When was the last time Dean faltered in the bedroom? He was giving himself a pep talk! How long had it been since he’d been in bed with a woman besides Lisa?
I LOVED Osiris. He was funny, quippy, bitchy and a total hoot. Of course, he was also a dick, forcing people to face their guilt and making ghosts murder them, but he was a god, and when they get bored, they sometimes seem to do cruel things for fun. I was glad when Sam shoved that Ram’s Horn into his back. It was deserving.
QUESTIONS:
1. Are you surprised to hear that, despite still seeing Lucifer sometimes, Sam is actually feeling pretty good?
2. Why do you think Dean is having so much trouble getting to that better place where Sam is? Dean spent a lot less time in hell. Could that be it?
3. Were you proud of Sam the Lawyer? Did he do a good job defending his brother?
4. How cute was Dean pacing and waiting for Mia to come out and meet him? Was it hard to imagine Dean being concerned about a one-night stand?
5. Did you give any thought to what would happen if Osiris forced you to defend YOUR life? Most of us haven’t killed anyone, but we all carry guilt. How would you fare?
6. What did you think of Osiris as a character and the actor’s performance? I loved him.
7. Jensen Ackles looked like he was going to have a nervous breakdown and I thought he turned in a fabulous performance here. What stood out for you?
8. I loved it when Jared gave his little speech at the end about feeling good. It brought me to tears, it was so heartfelt and beautiful. What did you think?
9. I give this episode a 7. It would have rated higher, except the first third was meh and the last 2/3 was excellent. What about you?
I think we got Sam feeling good because they dont want to really deal with Sam so it is easier to avoid it by having a Sam who apparently has come out of hell better than he went in. . It is pointless really because if this is their idea of dealing with Sams hell they might as well left him souless.
I tired o the whole thing whatever Sam is fine Dean is a drunk bubbling mess .. .
Couldn’t agree more and from what I’ve read about episode 5 Sam may as well not be there.
I dont care that Dean gets a 13 episode arc what I do care about is Sam not getting one at all. I mean was that it, 3 episodes and he’s done. Shiny happy Sam is all good and amazingly well adjusted it will seem so he’s done for the season? Who the hell comes out of hell all fine and as some have put it better than when he went in?
I sort of have to agree-if the writers aren’t going to bother with an emotional/personal arc for Sam then the least they could do is bring back soulless Sam.
Add me to those who are impressed by Sam’s miraculous recovery. That scar in his hand must be some scar. It better not heal at all. 😕
Thanks Robin, for all of that dialogue.
1. I don’t entirely believe him and believe that his claims he’s pretty good is partly to assuage Dean’s fears for him.
He seems to be really trying to overcome those memories, but he’s not there yet. He is still seeing and hearing Lucifer.
2. Dean spent 10 hell years torturing souls. Sam was a victim and tortured no one. Dean can’t forgive himself for that 10 hell years, so no, it has nothing to do with his less time, but what occurred during that time.
3. Sam did a pretty good job, but I was hoping he would have been slightly more forceful in his defense.
4. Dean was adorable waiting for Mia. I wanted to give him a hug and tell him to just go for it! 😛
5. I don’t think he would have to kill me for my guilt, but there is plenty of guilt there I admit. Whether it is deserved or not is not for me to say. :sigh:
6. I thought the actor did very well. I wouldn’t want him judging me.
7. I can’t think of any time when Jensen has not been fabulous. He depressed me because he is so good at showing Dean’s hopelessness and despondency. Loved the little pep talk while waiting for Mia. 😛
8. I thought perhaps he was saying that to allay Dean’s fears and set an example for Dean to forgive himself also. I don’t think he is entirely feeling good yet. Perhaps trying to convince himself too.
9. 7 is a good number for this episode IMO. I still enjoy the investigating brothers and hope they never stop doing that. Ir is what they do really well. I rated the first 2 episodes each a 9 and the 3rd a 10. Just on how much I personally enjoyed them.
Thanks Robin. 🙂
1. I’m with Dean. The other shoe is going to drop at some point and Sam being in a happy place is temporary. I think that it’s good that he’s realized that he’s paid his dues more or less for what happened, but at the same time I don’t see this being it. IF it were, we wouldn’t see Sam scratching that hand or spacing off. So yeah, for me I’m just waiting for the hurricane to hit again.
2. I think it has less to do with time and more to do with what each brother did in Hell. Sam was a punching bag and that’s about it. He was both physically and psychologically tortured by Lucifer (and perhaps Michael, though they’ve largely ignored his tenure in the Cage thus far) where as Dean was tortured and then tortured others. I think he’s struggling because he did horrible things in Hell and seeing Sam struggle with those hallucinations brought that back to him.
3.I thought Sam was fair and honest in his job as Dean’s lawyer. He certainly pointed out the truth to both Dean and Osiris, and I still got the feeling that Osiris was trying to teach Dean that there is a lot out of his control. Getting Sam from college wasn’t what got Jess killed. The YED was going to do that no matter what. I think Sam tried to get Dean to hear that, and I hope he digests it and comes out the other side knowing that he shouldn’t feel so guilty.
4. I felt kind of bad for Dean here. He was going through so many motions, and one of those is one night stands. I got the impression that after being in such a long term relationship—really his only as far as romance goes—that he found a bit of the sleeping around a bit empty and as empty as a lot of the things he was doing in his life trying to be “Dean Winchester, hunter and ladies man extraordinariness” again. I think he’s changed from the horn dog we saw in Seasons 1 and 2 really and this showed that clearly.
5. I didn’t really, but now that you’ve mentioned yet, I don’t really know how I’d fare. I think guilt is a subjective thing. Some people feel enormous amounts of guilt for minor things like forgetting to do something like a chore and others feel nothing at all even though they killed someone. Personally, I don’t feel that guilty about much, nothing that is weighing that heavily on me that would make me have to endure this type of trial.
6. I liked him a lot. Sure, he wasn’t super scary necessarily, but I thought he fit the Supernatural mold more or less when they have had pagan deities in the past. He was rather flippant, tongue in cheek, and kind of an ass. I thought he was engaging, funny, and a delight. But I also liked that he was trying to teach Dean a lesson about himself and wasn’t just about killing his chosen victims, either. I think, unlike the Trickster (before we knew him as Gabriel of course!), Osiris seems to do more than just give just desserts. He wants you to try and learn before he ends up handing out the death sentence.
7. I noticed how heavy Dean’s heart was simply by how weary Jensen looked in the scenes where they were going to investigate. I could tell that he was just sick and tired of the same old same old, which is why I think they focused a portion of the first part of the episode on a routine hunt. The differences weren’t in the process or anything, it was in how the brothers were dealing with it.
8. I had to really see the speech a second time to really get it. Sam has spent years upon years guilty for things, and much like Dean, a lot of them were not of his own making or control. It was nice to hear him say that Hell had brought out something good for him, but I still get the feeling that this is covering up a massive collapse for him when things get hectic and it gets hard for him to keep fighting Lucifer off all the time. I think Sam is a strong individual and very stubborn. It’s partly why he managed to get control back from Lucifer in the first place and why he could reintergate himself at the end of The Man Who Knew Too Much. I just know he’ll have to dig deep on that again, soon.
9. I think a 7 is a fair judgment. I liked the beginning with some of the old school touches, but I can see what you’re saying about it having been done before. This episode sets up a lot and we have to wait to see how well it did that when we reach later in the season, so it’s always hard for me to fully judge such an early episode. It progressed the story in some way, so that is a win for me!
1. I wished that for Sam, but I think that isn’t over yet – it would be too much easy! It’s nice to see that the writers didn’t forget this “hand thing” – on the other hand (sic!), I wonder if he gets himself into the “auto-agression” thing too much. It is nice to think that he feels that way about Hell – he was punished for his crimes if we can say so about his destiny.
2. It’s not the time – it is a role that was inflicted upon them. Sam was a victim, he was tortured. Dean, after a while, was a torturer. That’s what’s hunting him.
3. Hmmm, no. Not really.
4. He has a lot of problems with himself – drinking, feeling guilty about his friends and now that? Dean Winchester is in serious problem. No, it wasn’t cute, I actually felt so bad for him.
5. I was feeling guilty for a very long time for all things I could have done and yet, I didn’t. My thought was that I am for the others and I should do only those things which are meant to help and serve the other people. I was too friendly towards the others, too helpful. And then I just couldn’t handle that anymore – I suffer from depression for a quite long time now. It took me two years to actually feel better and I am not feeling guilty anymore. I’m doing what’s the best for me. I think that I am a good person and I hate hurting people if only by words, so I don’t think that Osiris would find a lot in my life.
6. I like the actor, but character was badly written. It was totally inconsistent, seemed like the writers couldn’t decide whether he should be scary, funny or omnipotent…
7. He is a really good actor, I must admit that. That scene with Jo – heartbreaking and awesome.
8. Honestly? I don’t think it was entirely honest – for me it as something like “I have to convince myself and my brother that I’m fine†speech.
9. 5 – wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t so good either.