Hunters In The House – Illustrated Song for Two Brothers

The last illustrated song I offered you was Les Misérables’ “Empty Chairs at Empty Tables.” I have to confess that my mind can hardly let go of the beautiful music of that marvellous stage show! So, this time it came up with a completely silly version of Les Mis’ “Master of the House.” In the tradition of the spoofed Christmas songs Julie and I came up with last year, I hope you’ll enjoy this little fun ditty springing from the occasionally deranged mind of yours truly… This is dedicated to friend and editor-in-chief Alice!

 
The last illustrated song I offered you was Les Misérables’ “Empty Chairs at Empty Tables.” I have to confess that my mind can hardly let go of the beautiful music of that marvellous stage show! So, this time it came up with a completely silly version of Les Mis’ “Master of the House.” In the tradition of the spoofed Christmas songs Julie and I came up with last year, I hope you’ll enjoy this little fun ditty springing from the occasionally deranged mind of yours truly… This is dedicated to friend and editor-in-chief Alice! 
 
Hunters in the House
 

 
Welcome, dear friend, sit yourself down
And meet the greatest hunters in town!

As for the rest, all of them crooks,
Think they’re all fine, but missing their books.

Seldom do you see
Men that go whoopee,
Gents of good intent
Who’re content to be… 

Hunters in the house, dealing out their charm
Ready in an earthquake and with much aplomb

Tell us saucy tales, make a little stir,
Damsels in distress do love a bon-viveur

Glad to do their friends a favour
And they even are quite nice

But nothing gets you nothing,
They tend to pay a little price….
Hunters in the house, masters of the zoo,
Ready to relieve ghosts of an arm or two,

Slaughtering the swine, using them as bait,
Pickin’ up their weapons and then shooting straight,

Everybody would get so bored
Were they not such super friends,

Even when they’re teases,
Angels, won’t we love them till the end?!
Hunters in the house, quick to catch yer eye,
If you missed them, you would give a fine long cry…

Servants and voyeurs, drew a funny fate,
Comforters, philosophers and life-long mates!

Never been to the Grand Canyon,
Everyone’s testosterone,

Lock up your fine demons
Or they’ll skin them to the bone!
 
Enter, dear girls, lay down your load,
Aren’t they cute, fresh from the road?

Your heart weighs a ton, hurt makes it worse,
They’ll strive to save you, if just to rehearse…

Here’s a naughty book,
Let that be your guide
And nothing’s overlooked,
Till you’re satisfied!
 
Bliss beyond compare, bliss beyond belief,
Passionate for sure and sometimes quite brief.

Loving with force or gentle as a cat
Whisper compliments of this and that.

Hippie chicks are more than welcome,
No reason to be petrified,
Reasonably gorgeous,
Plus some little extras on the side!

 
Fun will quite suffice, extra some device,
If you want to love them, lady, be precise,

Here’s a little vice, there it feels like smut,
All the noise will make you keep the window shut,
When it comes to feeding vices
There are quite some tricks they know

And it never ceases, bed sheets are in creases,
Angels! It’s so amazing, you’re aglow!
 
Hunters in the house, quick to catch yer eye,
Ready with their weapons, all prepared and sly,

Servants to the poor, always up to date,
Comforters, philosophers and life-long mates!
Everybody’s loon companions,

Give you everything they’ve got!
Artsy team of geezers,
Angels! What a charming little lot!
 
They once dreamed that all demons they would mince,
But God Almighty, have you seen what happened since?

Hunters in the house? Very closely knit,
Comforters, philosophers with life-long wit!

Cunning little brains, demons be aware!
Better go take cover b’fore their weapons blare!

What a cruel trick of nature denied these two a proper spouse?
God knows we wouldn’t last long without these hunters in the house!
 
Hunters in the house!
And they make you laugh!

Comforters, philosophers on your behalf!
Sweeties with grandeur, setting matters straight!
Devotees, not toady and your advocates!

Everybody bless the hunters!
Everybody in the house!

Everybody raise a glass!
Raise it up to their first class!
Everybody raise a glass to the hunters in the house!