Forbidden Elephants: Sex and the Single Winchester, Issue #3

First off, I have a girl crush. I’ll just admit it right now. Ellen Harvelle – if I swung that way, yeah baby, that’s a woman I’d be all up on. Just sayin’. And you know, considering that she’s not blond, I really thought she’d make it in the Supernatural world. But alas, my theory about hair color equaling death has gone by the wayside. It seems you just have to be a girl to die, or be like really frickin’ evil…and/or a girl….or Rufus (R.I.P., my love, R.I.P.). [That’s still a fresh wound for me, so all mourn the death of Linda’s dream slash pairing, RuBob. So much potential. So much.] 

Sexual Issue #3: Bad Touching, or Why You Shouldn’t Let Girls Get Full Up in You. 
 
First off, I have a girl crush. I’ll just admit it right now. Ellen Harvelle – if I swung that way, yeah baby, that’s a woman I’d be all up on. Just sayin’. And you know, considering that she’s not blond, I really thought she’d make it in the Supernatural world. But alas, my theory about hair color equaling death has gone by the wayside. It seems you just have to be a girl to die, or be like really frickin’ evil…and/or a girl….or Rufus (R.I.P., my love, R.I.P.). [That’s still a fresh wound for me, so all mourn the death of Linda’s dream slash pairing, RuBob. So much potential. So much.] 
 
So this part of our journey into Sex and Supernatural focuses on the women – because as I stated in an earlier section, to have the hetero-normative sex, you kind of need the ladies. Now, we should’ve known, right from the get-go, that being a woman in Supernatural was going to….hmmm…how should I say this? Being a woman was going to suck big time, people! Others have made this argument, so I won’t tread over it again. 
 
Supernatural hates women…blah blah blah….they kill off the good ones….blah blah….there’s too much homoerotica….we’d get Destiel if Castiel were a woman, but then she’d die…. blah blah blah. Yadda, yadda, yadda, and etc. My interest is in the sex, not the gender. So how do potential female sexual partners get portrayed in Supernatural? Well, as with all good Freudian narratives, sex starts with the mommy. 
 
Mommy Dearest, Mommy Searest
 
 
 
Remember in the last part, when I wondered aloud why Dean might have issues with virgins? I think I know why – the pilot framed it all so elegantly. Take a look at the series of images above. Tell me if you spot a pattern…..Now, we all remember Chuck and his “literary symmetry,” and how Jess’s death is explained by Kripke (via Chuck) as a way to really underscore the horror at the center of Sam’s life? So the show, our story, begins with a dead mother, another dead mother (who killed her children, by the way), and a dead girlfriend/possible future mother….all wearing various hues of white. You know who else wears white? Yep, virgin brides, or at least that’s the tradition – I know, just tradition, since I’ve been to many a wedding where white was just for show, if you get my drift? So women in white, yeah that’s a no-go for the boys, especially poor Dean who remembers mommy.   And of course, white as the symbol of evil and death does not stop with the first episode. Oh, no, we have a horse and it’s dead, so grab the bat everyone and look below:
 
Little girl Lilith and the bad Mary Winchester impression
 
 
 
Big Girl Lilith and the bad Jessica Impression 
 
 
 
The Birth of Eve…
 
 
 
I’d be afraid of white or anything connected to white as well, if I were the Winchesters. Dear god, it’s like white is the color of evil. Yeah, no virgins here, thank you. And ha, I just got it, white makes mother a virgin. Oh how Catholic of you, Supernatural. 
 
Well anyway….that first story, the woman in white, sets a precedent around which the whole of Supernatural revolves around. Yes, my dear friends, at the center of the boys’ lives stands a woman burning, waiting to kill or protect (or kill to protect) her children. And of course, let’s not ignore the fact that the way both Mary and Jessica die also includes being sliced open around the approximate area of the womb….like some kind of anti-cesarean section. Such a visual, Supernatural! It kind of reminds me of the grotesque childbirth scene from Breaking Dawn.  (And yes, I’ve read the Twilight series. Don’t you judge me….I have a vampire thing, whatever.) 
 
Side note: Bleeding wombs make for a very sterile environment, which totally makes sense given the show’s need to demonstrate how evil children can be. That’s another issue that I think the writers need to do self-reflection on. Either stop watching Stephen King movies like Children of the Corn and Firestarter, or get help, like now. You got a body count of children under the age of twelve – so not healthy. 
 
I do love you, Supernatural. I do. The very beginning of your story, book ended for us with flaming blonds plus a nice little rabid brunette ghost in the middle, shows the instability of the female character and the fact that she is either always in danger or always dangerous, especially to her children. And that’s how women will continue to be portrayed for the next six seasons, whatever color they are wearing. Now, hair color, that’s a different story. Poor Jo never had a chance with Dean – like he would seriously fall in love with a blond? 
 
Honestly, the place of women in Supernatural should really set my feminist alarms to ringin’, but Jared and Jensen are too pretty to be mad at. I mean, look at them: 
 
Chest Porn
 
 
 
Note: Nothing cures feminist rage like a picture of an objectified male body. Jared, I heart your gym.   
 
Gun Porn
 
 
 
Note: Nothing cures feminist rage better than any picture of Jensen Ackles. It’s the only time in my life when I think “I want babies. And I want them now!”
 
So, digression finished, and we are back…. to the Winchesters….and gasp! I’m thinking serious mommy issues. Serious. And this leads, of course, to serious power issues, especially in le boudoir. (French returns.  ) 
 
Now we’ve all dated or married or married then divorced the stupid ass guy with the overbearing mother. Imagine having to deal with the overheated mother? —Oooh, that burns, bad Linda, too soon? — Anyhoo, the memory of Mommy with her glistening blond hair and red torso are a lot for a girl to work against, you know. Add to that the really weird male-dominated childhood and adolescence of both Sam and Dean (which is another issue for the homoerotic section) and you have yourself a range of issues, subscriptions, hell even whole archives, of dysfunction that a girl has to mount. 
 
Side note again: No surprise that Dean gets it on with a mother when he settles down – like that wasn’t predetermined? Free will, my ass.
 
Flaming mommies aside, we have the issue of women being powerless but powerful. The woman in white seduces her victims, which becomes a subtextual theme (hey, look at that fancy word) of the show. Devil women and their seductive ways….so cliché. 
 
Come on up and see me sometime, big boy (wink, wink)
 
So we have the mommy issues, which are totally compounded by women-devils in disguise, who are like trying to get in your pants to steal your power. Samson-complex much? My prediction for how Supernatural will end? An evil witch-woman will cut the flowing and glowing locks of power that is Sam Winchester.  The universe will implode because of one lock of hair – very poetic, like Pope’s “Rape of the Lock” but for the contemporary audience. 
 
Okay, so women and their wily, emasculating ways. Oh we have bunches of seductresses/killers. Let’s just list them, in part: 
 
Season 4 Ruby (Season 3 Ruby was blond and hence totally de-sexualized, except when occupied by Lilith, and again we won’t go there. Up until that point, she was the tomboy demon.)
Grown up Lilith (Because god help us, little girl Lilith is a whole other ball of wax that demonstrates the show’s Twilight-level fear of children)
Madison (human heart, dog-teeth – enough said)
Demon chick from “Sin City” (I liked her….so sad she was evil)
Bela Talbot (not a demon, but very devilish)
Meg (Blond Meg was not too sexual; SamMeg was a total soul rapist and apparently a lesbian; Brunette Meg is the classic definition of a top, by the way)
Anna (angel turned psycho)
 

These women, whether they are actual sexual partners or potential sexual partners, all have one thing in common – they don’t own their bodies. Even Bela is tagged like a fresh loaf of bread in the bakery. They are either occupying a “vessel,” which to my mind is soul rape, or they are in servitude to another master/mistress. Sexual confusion, you say? Yeah, I think so. 
 
Let’s look at Bela, for example. She’s all “I want to jump your bones, Dean” but that’s all really a power play. Her flirtations are always calculated for maximum benefit, which makes her unappetizing to our womb crushing hero. Dean is almost reverent of women, and totally unhinged by insincere women. He’s also a little against demons who take possession of female bodies, except if they are angels….but that Dean, you know, he’s got a soft spot for the heavenly. 
 
Now before you say anything, yes Cassie was a sexual partner. Yes, Jamie was a sexual partner. Yes, Lisa was a sexual partner. And yes, all were human. But! Cassie was first season, fill out Dean’s history and make him look all womb crushing, yet again. Also she’s there to show how Dean chose his life on the road. Jamie was “wink, wink” Dean is back in the saddle again after god knows what types of torture (mental, physical, and I believe, sexual) he had to endure in hell’s prison. And Lisa was third season, let’s show that Dean has a lot to live for as well as fifth-sixth season, DomesticatedDean fail. Dean does tend to get the more staid and humane sexual partners, but I think that’s because of his womb crushing potential and also because he’s Scully. 
 
All in all, though, most of the sexualized women of Supernatural are evil demons or crazy angels or indentured humans, all out to use their sexual powers to retrieve information or submission. 
 
Season 4 Ruby, for example, wanted to turn Sam into the key that would unlock Lucifer’s cage. I get that, cool beans. Way to empower yourself and the other female hell-spawn. So how does she do it? Simple, really, if you know Sam. Capitalize on the Dean loss. She could not have gotten in his pants before Dean’s sojourn into the dreary depths of despair, aka Hell. So she meat suits herself up as a sassy little brunette, gets all “I can help you make Dean’s sacrifice mean something”, and then seduces him into drinking her blood and filling out her meatsuit, if you know what I mean? A body has needs, even if it’s occupied by psycho-demon chick #2. So Ruby, in her fourth season incarnation, sets all of her sexual power alongside her gas station o’ blood. It’s all very kinky, but we are talking Sam, so nothing new there, right?  This is just one angle on the female sexual fear – another one is Meg. 
 
The Rack is for Pussies
 
Oh Meg, how I love you. Just like Ruby you got to endure the rack as a sacrifice to the greater cause…So I have this theory, working I’ll admit, that Supernatural has some issues with rape. Now, before we start, rape is a serious and heinous crime which I will not make light of in reality, but in Supernatural? Oh all bets are off, my friends. Rape/Possession is like the standard meme in this show – people getting their bodies jacked for some nefarious purpose, and as was demonstrated by the poor nurse in ”Lucifer Rising,” the Original!Meg, and others, these people can be conscious of what’s going on. Oh, bad, Supernatural, just bad. So possession is a double invasion – body and mind. So nice of you to join us, metaphor, where have you been? 
 
Okay, so to preserve literary symmetry, I guess, the big bad in the first two seasons was a possessed man. Boys needed to work out the daddy issues, you see, and you can’t really work those out if the big bad is, like, a woman. So Yellow Eyed Demon pairs nicely to John Winchester – check.  So how does literary symmetry work with Meg and Ruby? Oh I think we all know this one, don’t we? SAT Time, again: YED is to Daddy as ____ and _____ are to ______. 
 
Ruby and Meg, ala the rack warmers, get to suffer some comeuppance for their nefarious and sexual ways. If you look at both scenes, which I was loathe to do because my feminist rage would return, but then I thought of this……
 
 
 
And better, but still, the rack?! Seriously! Just so we are clear that this is a sexual issue, I would note two things. First, both episodes, “Heaven and Hell” and “Caged Heat,” have an erotic encounter in them. “Heaven and Hell” is Dean/Anna sex; “Caged Heat” is the kiss between Meg and Cas. Second, both of these women had the knife placed or plunged in strategic areas. 
 
Now look at the images: 
 
 
 
This is what you get for being overly sexual girls. It’s the gynecological exam from hell.  Next up, a proctologist…….Feminist rage back. Grrr….Note that these scenes happen with male torturers…just sayin’. Just sayin’.  Also, notice the alignment of the arms….look familiar? Go back and look at the images near the beginning.  I’ll wait for you.
 
So, anything look familiar? Hope so because I think all sexualized females have a particular stamp running across their untouched torsos…..Just a thought. I could be wrong.  
 
Anyway, as I think about it, I’m not really sure what my argument says about this screen cap: 
 
 

Or this one…..
 
 
 
Oh yeah, I do. That’ll be the next part…..”Sexual Issue #4: Walk Like A Man, My Son, Or Dean is Scully, Sam is Mulder, and Why Supernatural has been Slashed” (In other words, part one of the homoerotic….Danger Will Robinson! Danger!)
 
By the way, you are welcome to provide captions for any of the images provided…..And one last thought before I go.

I love you, Ellen. 
I love you, Rufus. 

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