September 10, 2020.
The Last Day of Filming the Last Episode of the Last Season of Supernatural.
15 years have led to this day.
15 years of long hours on set, capturing creative talent beyond imagining.
15 years of Lines to Learn,
Sets to Build,
Fight Scenes to Choreograph,
Lighting to Design,
Scenes to Block and Film,
Technical Challenges to Overcome,
And Organized Chaos to Direct.
15 years of Laughter and Tears.
15 years of owning our hearts.
This is more than the end of an era to the #SPNFamily. It’s a loss that is almost beyond words. It’s something you have to feel to understand. Sam and Dean, and later Castiel and Jack, plus Bobby, Charlie, John, Mary, Jody, Donna and too many other people to even begin to name, have become our family. We understand them as much or more than we understand ourselves. In many ways, they’ve helped us learn about ourselves – as they grew in maturity and wisdom, they brought us along for the ride. We watched them make mistakes but pick themselves up to fight another day. We’ve felt their courage, vulnerability, doubts and leadership, then molded those lessons into the deepest sense of who we are and want to be ourselves.
While precious few of us (myself included) ever got to witness the magic that took place on the Supernatural sound stage in Vancouver, we knew the Winchesters and Team Free Will were fighting to save the world for us, every day, 9 months a year, for the past 15 years. They were our safe place. We belonged to them, and them to us.
So saying goodbye to the security and familiarity of all of that is hard to do. I observed earlier this week that we are not only processing our own grief over whatever this loss means to us, but also the grief of every actor, crew member, writer, technician, stunt man, driver and PA who’s ever been associated with the show. They are sharing their loss with pictures and “last time” messages, which is like death by a thousand cuts. All their messages communicate their sincere heart break over having to say goodbye to work and friends they love, and each message stirs the grief in us all over again. Jensen’s video of filming a script that read “The End” instead of “to be continued…” nearly buried me, but then he topped that by showing us an empty MoL bunker reduced to piles of meaningless lumber. My tears seem to have an empathic connection to his tears. He cries, I cry.
And we haven’t yet seen weepy eyes from the brother who’s largely considered to be more openly emotional.
What am I going to do when Jared breaks down? I’m afraid tears will become sobs, as they did last year at the Las Vegas convention. The end of the show had been announced just a few days before we were together in his “meet and greet” and photography sessions. He hadn’t processed the loss yet so was struggling with to hold back breakaway tears all day long. Yeah, it was all over for me when Jared choked up. Many secluded hallways witnessed my private melt downs.
Coexisting with all this grief, though, and the overwhelming sense of emptiness that ebbs and flows with each person’s goodbye, is also profound gratitude that is hiding between the tears. Supernatural, and Jared, Jensen and Misha, have accomplished what no other show has done. We have to hang onto the immense honor of being a part of this indescribable experience. We are so lucky to know this show and this cast! So, #ThankYouSupernatural.
Thank you for 327 hours of seeing that family is what really matters, and family don’t end with blood.
Thank you for 15 seasons of we’ll find a way; we always do.
Thank you for countless broments that melted our hearts.
Thank you for showing us the true meaning of bravery is fighting to keep going, even when all seems hopeless, every moment of every day, no matter what we’re up against.
Thank you for giving us heroes to believe in again.
Thank you for sharing your breathtaking talent with us.
Thank you for being good people to your core, and for sharing the love we saw on our screens with us in the real world.
Thank you for endless hours of giving everything you had to Sam, Dean and Castiel. We love them dearly, as we know you do to.
Thank you for giving even more as Jared, Jensen and Misha.
Thank you for leading by example and creating a community of acceptance and inclusion.
Thank you for friendships that we found in this fandom.
Thank you for all the amazing experiences we never dreamed we’d have, but found online, on websites, at conventions, in books, in careers, in each other. I don’t think there’s one fan who wouldn’t say this show has profoundly changed who they are.
I know there’s so much more I want to say. I know I’ll wake up tomorrow morning and be exasperated at the most obvious blessing I forgot to mention. But for now, I’m emotionally spent. I think you know what I’m feeling. We’re all feeling it.
That’s what love feels like.
#ThankYouSupernatural is trending worldwide today on Twitter.
Please feel free to add what this day means to you and your thanks, below.