In Praise of the Jaredoodle
From hurting puppy to adorable pet with teeth in his mouth – here’s Jaspala Wesson’s exclusive report on a new breed of rarities. Despite its discovery in 2005, this exceptional breed hasn’t been studied by scientists yet. But – times are changing. The WFB Gazette’s intrepid reporter hunted down the researchers entrusted with the study of this amazing species and is able to give you – world exclusively – a brand new depiction of this popular kind.
The Winchester Family Biz Gazette’s exclusive report, brought to you by Jaspala Wesson
From hurting puppy to adorable pet with teeth in his mouth – here’s Jaspala Wesson’s exclusive report on a new breed of rarities. Despite its discovery in 2005, this exceptional breed hasn’t been studied by scientists yet. But – times are changing. The WFB Gazette’s intrepid reporter hunted down the researchers entrusted with the study of this amazing species and is able to give you – world exclusively – a brand new depiction of this popular kind.
Puzzling everyone who came across the Jaredoodle from the start, this particular kind became a favourite with people all around the globe. ‘It’s rare to find a species so intriguing and loveable’, the WFB Gazette was told by leading scientists. Though at first named Goliathoodle because of his size, the more endearing name Samoodle was considered, until scientists settled for Jaredoodle. The nice ring to this name is soon to become widely popular.
After years of study, researchers have been able to categorize this species’ habitat, appearance and temperament, eating habits and possible prognosis for future development.
History
The Jaredoodle’s natural home are the dry plains of Texas, but by now we know that he also thrives excellently in Kansas, though he’s most effective when on the road. It’s a species that requires an assignment and has proven to be most versatile in hunting.
Throughout history he has helped people to survive, being tough, resistant to disease, intelligent enough to avoid deadly traps but also brave and fast enough to face them, when protection of a beloved person was desired. The Jaredoodle soon became a favourite protector from the paranormal, sometimes even endowed with supernatural powers himself.
While skilled in the use of firearms of all kinds, the Jaredoodle developed many other talents necessary for survival in dire times, such as magic rituals, blood sigils, Ouija board or use of salt.
Furthermore, he is a perfect hunter in all the hunting styles – be it still hunting (tracking ghosts or demons when it’s known they’re in the area but not sighted), stand hunting (taking a position and waiting for the game to go by, e.g. in a car on the road, a hidden room, behind a window), stalking (follow a ghost/demon when it is spotted but out of range, and the hunter moves within range while staying out of sight) or driving (often in groups, one group deliberately driving a demon in range or past a second armed and prepared group of hunters).
A natural in all kinds of hunting styles, his skilled instincts are higher developed than those of most other hunting species on the planet. Though methods tend to vary, the essential talent for hunting has never disappointed with this kind.
Description
Appearance
As his name suggests, the Jaredoodle is of cuddly, loveable appearance, while is most distinguishing features can be wavy dark hair and a pleading look to his eyes that enthrals his counterpart and has proven particularly successful with the female population, children and people in distress.
If not trimmed and properly groomed, his hair will cultivate a mind of its own, thus the acquisition of specific hair dryers is highly recommended.
The Jaredoodle’s inherent love for sports make him a species of athletic built which can easily surmount commons standards, not only in body form but also in height. Healthy and well cared for, he can grow to be about 6’4’’ early in his life, so adequate home decoration and furnishing is required for the Jaredoodle to not bump his head in too low ceilings or hurt his legs in too short beds.
Known for dressing in layers, he seems to prefer dark, muted colours, accompanied by a fine instinct what kind of clothes fit which occasion. He has been reported to have trouble finding outfits to fit his unusual size.
Temperament
The Jaredoodle is the kind of reliable companion desired by many. He is loving, independent, and despite an initial short phased aloofness to strangers, he likes to touch and hug others to express his affection and devotion. This species also needs a lot of warmth and security by his chosen circle, as well as regular body contact.
He is playful and gentle and not afraid to make a fool of himself to cheer up his companions, and his loyalty verges on the absurd. A Jaredoodle will commonly hug as a greeting which can appear intimidating to those not familiar with his size. Limiting this behaviour, though, is not recommended by scientists. They agree that this would bring down the unique spontaneity this kind is famous for.
To assimilate with changes he needs positive, reward-based encouragement. It has also been reported that the Jaredoodle has a penchant for mischief, though loving. He is protective of his family and caring of people in need.
Despite his energetic, quite imposing exterior, the Jaredoodle is a deeply sensitive species and will suffer if submitted to too strict methods of persuasion or extortion. While this might be tolerated by a less gentle kind, it will in all likelihood backfire on the Jaredoodle, causing him to develop a depressive streak and endangering him to topple into a sometimes instable state.
Affectionate treatment is imperative with this species to enhance his intrinsic prowess, courage, enthusiasm and devotion. A species also fond of being engaged in acitivity, loving a good run and attention, he requires sufficient, but intensive exercise and the chance to travel.
Food and health
Despite a weakness for salad shakes, the Jaredoodle needs a well-balanced diet and will remain in healthy condition when fed with a proper mix of vegetables and meat. He has been described to react allergic to pies. He will easily find the right balance in terms of nutrition, energy and amount of food, and people close to the Jaredoodle should rely on his instinct to feed well.
If not fed properly, the Jaredoodle can be prone to accidents, mostly breaking bones, in particular upper limbs. Though he tends to heal quickly, the wearing of a cast will be vital to restore his vitality to pre-accident status. Scientists have also recommended taking care of his sensitive skin – genetic anomalies suggest evolutionary involvement with heat or flames, as there is a tendency to be burned easily.
The Jaredoodle has rarely actually been observed to drink sufficient water, therefore his close circle needs to keep in mind that clean, fresh water should be available at all times and probably offered to him, often at soft pressure, to keep him healthy. He may benefit, though, of Gatorade or Diet Coke and the occasional whiskey.
Prognosis
The Jaredoodle, if taken care of properly and allowed to develop his skills, is likely to become even more popular than he already is. He combines the best features of a human being and a rich soul, therefore being in danger of soon becoming an endangered species, someday only surviving in zoos or museums of natural history. That must not be the fate of this extraordinary kind.
The Anti-Sulphur Society, the Supernatural Protection Fund and the Philanthropist Hunter Company established a donation account, to help this rare species survive. Donations are accepted in money, of course, but preferred are vouchers for petrol, shoes, Biggerson’s restaurants, shares of holy water wells, salt and silver mines. To donate, please write to the Winchester Family Business Gazette, at the hands of Jaspala Wesson.
Ok, I really want a Jaredoodle to call my own, please! I promise to take very good care of him. 🙂
Hey Kayo, I can’t think of a reason why you shouldn’t give a Jaredoodle a home…
Enjoy! 😆 , Jas
That was hilarious. I want my own Jaredoodle, but I already have my own Rugaru and therefore not enough food for both.
Thanks, Far Away Eyes, they are an exceptional breed. Mine is utterly cuddly and sweet…
hm… I could imagine him even becoming a friend to the Rugaru. He has this kind nature…
Hope you’ll find food for yourself! 😆 , Jas
My Rugaru is a patch tabby and he is always hungry. I’m afraid that he might try to eat the Jaredoodle.
We wouldn’t want that now would we?
I guess if your Rugaru did that, he would find a deadly enemy in this reporter… Better keep him contained. 8) , Jas
I’d have to be very strict with my Rugaru that the Jaredoodle is NOT food. I guess I would have also warn my Jaredoodle about the Rugaru. We wouldn’t want him to get too cozy and then become lunch!
Remind me to stay away from that Rugaru of yours… I wouldn’t enjoy becoming his food, either… 😆 , Jas.
Just listen for the purring. That’s a good indication that he’s nearby.
Jas,
I think there are many people out there who would be more than willing to adopt one of these adorable additions to their families. But, as you are so knowledgeable about the species and have really done your research `in depth`, I think the original should live with you as I am certain he would receive all the specialised care needed! 😉
You know I love this and that I think you are insane, then, I should talk as you also know I too am more than willing to provide a loving home for a certain other little creature! 🙂
Love Ju
Julie, dearie, indeed, I’ve done some in-depth research, for years and years 😆 …
You know, this insane woman here is happy to give a Jaredoodle a home, cuddly and loveable as he is… And he keeps demons as bay! What more could you ask for?
Hm… that other creature… ha! I can think of something! Thank you!!!
Love, Jas
**Hands up** I want one, too! Please…..!!! 😆
I believe you’ll have to get in line….
😉 , Jas
I want to take care of this species. I promise to dedicate every minute of my life to avoid any suffering 🙂
😛
I bet you will 😉 , Verowinchester. Will you also feed him properly, keep him warm and hug him? Then, I’d say, he’ll lead a happy doodle’s life…
Thanks, 😆 , Jas
I must be in a worse mood today than I thought. Calling it ‘Jared’ just took me right out of being able to enjoy it or think it was funny. Its ‘Sam’ the fictional character related characteristics and pictures, isn’t it?
Nevermind me — Father’s Day is making me morose and grumpy.
Hi Melanie,
I know, I thought about that, too. But the Jaredoodle has a nice ring to it – and I’ve tweeted that name already to Jared once… and he didn’t complain 😉
After experiencing him in person and getting to know a bit of his humour, I don’t think he’d mind. He would most certainly see that it’s not written in a vicious let’s-make-fun-of-him – mode, but in a affectionately funny one.
🙂 , Jas
Yes, after experiencing him in person myself, I’d agree, Jared’s a really nice guy, and I’d be quite surprised if he did complain. It is relatively harmless after all, and as you say, it is easy to see that its not meant to be unkind. But, did he endorse it as he did ‘Moose’ and ‘Moose-kateers’? I’m not all that savvy about Twitter – I’m not on it myself, but I do follow several of the SPN stars on my computer. I didn’t notice it in Jared’s twitter feed if he did endorse ‘Jaredoodle’.
To be honest, to me, it doesn’t have a nice ring to it. To me, it seems well, — disrespectful. Judging by the comments though, I’m the odd man out here in feeling that way. Nonetheless, I just can’t get behind this at all. I recognize that your intent is to be funny, but it simply makes me uncomfortable. It blurs the line between character and actor and now it seems from your reply that its intentionally so, I’d say it pretty much goes further than that, it objectifies the real person – that really nice guy, with the good sense of humor – to boot.
I’m not trying to change your mind. You’re entitled to your opinion. I reckon, you enjoyed The French Mistake…
🙂 ,Jas
I did enjoy the French Mistake. I especially liked it because the writers asked Jared and Jensen if what they planned to do was OK. The boys were participating in the joke. And even then, they were always still Sam & Dean.
Dear miss Wesson, I love species that size, especialy when they come with dimples. If you tell me that it’s possible to keep them in apartments and if they get along with cats, I most definitely want one.
Dear Miss W., there have been no studies, yet, about this species in close confinement with cats.
Apartments will do, and, I’d say, due to the gentle nature of this species, it will work with cats.
🙂 , Jas
I’m relieved to hear that. I was considering to adopt a moose, but my cat is not very sociable and I’m not sure how she would react to a moose in close confinement, as you say. But a Jaredoodle, well, not even my cat will resist it. Does anyone? 😉
I definitely want one. If it gets along with cats, then I’m all in! Although, it might eat me out of house and home.
That was so funny, thanks Jas, it got rid of an oncoming headache.
Hi Sylvie,
happy to be of assistance! I know how bad headaches can be, believe me, and if a bit of laughter helped to keep it at bay – hey! Mission accomplished!
Thanks, Jas
i want one two ………… i love jared sammy pretty beuatyful
Hello soniama… I am pretty sure you don’t stand alone…
😆 , Jas
Putting in my order right now for my very own Jaredoodle. Do they come housebroken or will I have to train? I have a spare room and a large yard, how much room does he take up?
Hi sn_chills – I’d say training is always essential. He will need an assignment. Then you’ll have a most happy one…
And, due to recent studies, the room you describe will surely be sufficient. No worries.
🙂 ,Jas
Oh so clever and FUNNY..that last pic of him iwth the pouty lips behind the bars put me over the edge…!! *wipes away tears from laughing* Are you doing the “Jensen-something” piece next!?
I might, mainegirlwrites… Well, I am… There’ll be a follow up.
It’s such a coincidence, really, that another rare species, threatened with extinction, has been discovered recently. I’m still conducting interviews with the leading scientists and will report on that very soon!
😉 , Jas
Hi Jaspala
Thank you for bringing this new species to light for us. He’s absolutely adorable. With every picture I saw of him it made me want to hug the stuffing out of him. I think it might be safer for the Jaredoodles if I didn’t open my home to any of them. :-*
Oh, Karen, so nice to see you!
😆 , you might be right – safety first!
Love, Jas
This certainly seems like an intriguing species, Ms. Wesson, incorporating the fluffy head of an Old English Sheepdog, the eyes of a St. Bernard puppy and the slim waistline of a poodle. I’m assuming you found him au natural (not that kind of au natural, the other kind…..) and he’s not actually one of Mothers creations (because to possess that many qualities AND be super hot…. nah, can’t possibly be human).
Well it doesn’t bother me if he’s housetrained or if he moults hair all over the place (and judging by the latest JP photos this is a possibility) I think I want one. He’s not one of a kind, is he?
I’m afraid I’m all out of holy water at the moment (we tend to use a lot of it once the school holidays roll around, kids showing their true colours and all that). However, I did find a shop this morning that does chocolate pizzas (seriously CHOCOLATE PIZZAS!!!!) so if the jaredoodle can’t eat it, (and I don’t think he should, it might play havoc with that fine physique of his) then perhaps you yourself might partake, as a ‘thank you’ for your fine humanitarian work. Where would we, and the world of science, be without you??
Oh, thank you, EnchantingTim, for your words – but too much praise! 😉
It is my job, as intrepid, fast, science loving reporter, to shed light on those species not too prominent.
Well, this kind might like chocolate pizza… but I know for sure that this reporter would love to try some.
😆 , Jas
Hey, sweet Dany, I need to uphold the cliché of the insane shrink, ahem, reporter… 😆
I’m happy that Jaspala’s exploits continue to amuse you! Thank you so much!
Love, Jas
I’m certainly willing to take one into my home should he appear at my door. I already have 2 big dogs who wouldn’t mind sharing the house with him! And I can provide any needed medical care should he be injured during a hunt.
Dawn
Then you are perfectly able to take good care of this rare kind, Dawn….
Since he has been known to be fond of dogs, I’m sure, he could be happy at your place.
Love – and thank you!, Jas
If the JAREDOODLE will not mind being continually kissed to death by his owner, or hugging his owner, I’d get one. PLUS, if he somehow manages to hug and carry me at the same time, I’ll totally care for him for life.
BTW, you’ve established that the JAREDOODLE is loyal. BUT is he trained to clean up after himself? Can he wash his own dishes, get his own glass of water, get food from the fridge to feed his friends, help around the house when his loving owner is tired, etc.? Because, really, Doodles who expect their owners to provide everything from housekeeping to bed-warming really make me see RED.