Nate Winchester’s Remix of Supernatural 9.14 – “Captives”
Time again for another installment of Nate Winchester’s “Supernatural” episode remix. Enjoy the “abridged” version, so to speak, of “Captives.”
Whoo! Alright new episode! | |
Wait, didn’t we miss one? | |
The not-quite-evil monster episode? We did that one. | |
No that episode with the reformed… what was it called… had a relative that turned evil against her wishes. | |
And one of you ended up unconscious. Like I said, we did that! Now comeon I want to be in an episode! | |
Why weren’t you helping us in the last one? | |
…Hey look a funeral! I’m going to go cruise for |
|
They grow up so fast. So what do you want to do tonight, Dean? | |
Same thing we do every night, Sammy – try and TAKE OVER THE WORLD! | |
Mark of Cain getting to you? | |
I don’t know what you’re – GHOST! *boom* | |
What are you doing? We haven’t had a case for weeks. | |
I know… I think my trigger finger’s itchy. | |
Well let’s slow down. Ghosts aren’t supposed to be in here, we should gather clues and- | |
*BOOM* | |
DAMMIT DEAN! What did I just say? | |
I dunno. Something about feelings and stuff. I generally tune you out. | |
This is what I’m going on about. | |
Guys wait it’s me! | |
*boom* I know. | |
–MEANWHILE– | |
Ah ha! Wait, you’re not reaper. | |
Why are you looking for a reaper? | |
For more of teh sexs! | |
Look I’m not…. wait. What? | |
The pizza man delivers sex and pizza. Reapers like pizza. One has sex with reapers. Therefore for sex you need a reaper and pizza. | |
But… that’s…. didn’t one kill you? | |
Because we didn’t have the pizza. I almost sexed with Meg but she wasn’t a reaper and we could never get the pizza… | |
Can I go now? I feel very unsafe. … And dumber. | |
Well ok. But let me know if you find any reapers. Or pizza! | |
Hey, Cas! I got some pizza… | |
Really? | |
Just follow me to my windowless van… | |
–MEANWHILE– | |
Look, things are screwed up and I need you to go find my mom. | |
Can do. Any idea where she- | |
*BOOM* Ha! That’s 2 for 2 now, Kevin. | |
DAMMIT Dean! We’re not playing hide-and-seek! | |
Of course you’re not. Because you suck at it. “Playing” would imply you guys stood a chance. | |
Stop. Shooting. Kevin. | |
Why? He’s stealing screen time and audience sympathy from us. | |
I…. really? Despite my magnificent hair? | |
Look – focus! Crowley’s got Mrs Tran holed up somewhere. Let’s go find her? | |
I dunno…. | |
There might be demons… | |
Well… ok. But no kill stealing! The XP is mine. | |
–MEANWHILE– | |
There’s no pizza in here either. | |
Oh there will be pizza later. How about some candy. You like candy? | |
Is it skittles? | |
Of course. *hands Castiel a bag of skittles* You taste that rainbow. | |
Think you could you introduce me to a blonde reaper? I want to see what they’re like. | |
I’m sure we can find something. Why look at all these pictures of Metatron. | |
…Looks like you’re stalking him. | |
Yes, yes we are. And when we find him, I’m going to toss HIM into my windowless van. | |
What is up with you and your van? | |
It’s awesome! I’ve got candy and blackjack and reapers and this guy… | |
-_- | |
Hey, it’s you from earlier! | |
Cas, let me show you what humans mean when they talk about ‘bad touch’… | |
–MEANWHILE– | |
Ok, so after thirty hours of hide-and-seek, this is where Kevin said we should check with ghosts. | |
Shouldn’t there be like… demonic omens when the king of Hell is in town? Maybe we do a search on what place in the world has had a lot of those recently? | |
Or we could set up this radio. What did you bring, Dean? | |
Wigi board. | |
… | |
You know, like when I was a ghost that one time? | |
… | |
What’d you expect me to bring? A coffee maker? | |
*sets up board* Oh spirits… please give us the zip code where you were held captive… | |
Isn’t that a US zip code? | |
Oh thank chuck, I was afraid it was going to be in like Iran or China. | |
You’d think that would be where the king of Hell would keep prisoners, wouldn’t you? | |
And you know there would be no way we could ever get legal passports with our records. | |
Thank goodness we’ve never had to leave the country. | |
Yeah. Never ever. | |
Especially with my fear of flying. | |
Who would even believe we set foot offshore? | |
… | |
… | |
So, Mrs Tran? | |
To the rescue! | |
–MEANWHILE– | |
Oh chuck please make it stop! | |
Ok, we’ve had our fun. You want to kill him, Cas? | |
Why, with everything you know about me, would you think I would kill a prisoner? | |
…Good point. Why did I give you my sword? | |
Oh, here you go. *returns sword* | |
Why did you give this back to me? | |
Uh…. to…. spare him? | |
Why, with everything you know about me, would you think I would spare a prisoner? | |
Could… I have your sword again? | |
Nope. *stabbity stab* | |
blarg I’m dead | |
Good thing you just didn’t take his grace. Then you might have been more powerful and he would still be of no threat to you. | |
For that completely reasonable suggestion, I’m going to kick your ass! *attacks* | |
Nope. *kick’s Bart’s ass* | |
Not killing me? | |
No I have a policy against killing this week. | |
Sucks to be you. *attacks* | |
–MEANWHILE– | |
*enters building, rings bell* | |
Can I help you? | |
*boom* | |
blarg I’m dead. | |
Dean! What are you doing? | |
We’re walking into a storage facility rented by the king of hell. | |
… | |
Dude’s obviously a demon. | |
You can’t just go around… oh hey, sulfur by the body. Guess he was. | |
See? Told you I’d get one. | |
(Eventually.) | |
The other places weren’t staffed by demons, though! | |
Like hipsters are any better. | |
Where did you get the Colt anyway? | |
Ebay. Figured searching for it would probably be better use of my time than waiting on Crowley. | |
Shall we go save Mrs Tran? | |
After you, bitch. | |
Shut up, jerk. | |
–MEANWHILE– | |
Bart, you’ve tried now like, 50 times. | |
So? *attacks* | |
*kicks Bart’s ass* If you don’t stop I’m going to have to… | |
Subdue me some other way? Like take my grace or something? *attacks* | |
*stabbity stab* | |
blarg I’m dead! | |
Drat, I messed up my no-kill streak. *le sad* | |
We want to follow you! | |
I don’t know… | |
We’ve got pizza. | |
DEAL! Wait, what kinds? | |
Pepperoni and Supreme. | |
Just the Pepperoni right now. I want to work my way up to the kinky stuff. |
(cross-posted @ http://natewinchester.wordpress.com/2014/03/03/9-14-captives-remix/)
Thanks Nate. I needed this.
Thanks Nate. I needed this.
Ah, to laugh again. Sometimes I forget this TV show is entertainment & should be fun. Thanks Nate for the reminder!
Ah, to laugh again. Sometimes I forget this TV show is entertainment & should be fun. Thanks Nate for the reminder!
The boys have been to the UK to get CROWLEYs bones…………………. 😛
The boys have been to the UK to get CROWLEYs bones…………………. 😛
yes, NOLANOLA, that would be the joke 😉
yes, NOLANOLA, that would be the joke 😉