Review – “Ghostfacers”

“Ghostfacers”

Robin’s Rambles by Robin Vogel

 

Ed Zeddemore and Harry Spengler introduce their pilot, GHOSTFACERS. They sit in chairs. Behind them a fire crackles in a fireplace. They are presenting something during the crippling writer’s strike, something they claim will be “the most frightening hour of television.” 

 

Phase 1 – Homework – Ed and Harry walk slo mo, which looks really funny (dumb) with everything going at regular pace behind them. Ed and Harry work at Kinkos during the day. Maggie, Ed’s adopted sister, explains that the two met at camp and have been inseparable geeks ever since. Corbett, back from shopping, shows us the special coffee be bought for Ed, who he clearly has a crush upon. Spruce, cameraman, works at a golf course picking up balls. He’s part Jewish and Cherokee. They’re hitting the Morton house, where every four years, people have been disappearing. The ghost returns at midnight just as February 29th begins. The strategy session is interrupted when Dad opens the garage door, sending the strategy board up along with the door.

 

Morton House – The Ghostfacers stand at the gate where a “No Trespassing” sign has been posted by police. The sound of the Impala, blasting “We’re An American Band” temporarily scares the team. Sam and Dean check with a flashlight, but don’t notice the Ghostfacers, and drive off. Flashlights bobbing, the team enters the house. They set up computer equipment upstairs and down to the tune of “Hocus Pocus.” Corbett manages to make Ed uncomfortable with some of the things he says and the way he says them. When everything is ready, they stand in a circle, put one hand in, say “GHOSTFACERS!” together, then slide their hands down in front of their faces. They are READY!

 

Ed, clearly petrified to actually be doing so, calls to the restless spirits of Morton house. On the other floor, the camera is going on the fritz. Signs? Spruce and Harry run across a dead rat, Harry hates rats, says that “Rats are the rats of the rat world.” The EMT is showing off the charts, and it’s scaring them. Spruce throws the dead rat at Harry, which he does not appreciate. Corbett and Ed, meanwhile, run into. . .the police? No, it’s SAM AND DEAN! Sam curses (with a little cartoon skull over his mouth), recognizing them from another gig in Texas. Dean curses (another skull), orders them out, pushes Ed and demands, “Where’s your partner?” To their delight and terror, Harry, Spruce and Maggie film the ghost of a man, an apparent robbery victim, being shot.

 

Dean berates Harry for coming to Morton house; those that have spent the night haven’t lived to talk about it! Spruce, Maggie and Corbett run in blathering about seeing the ghost. Harry recognizes the (bleeps) from another case in Texas. Dean and Sam recognize the ghost as a death echo, a spirit living his death over and over– that’s not dangerous, but something else in this house IS. Dean urges them out. However, Corbett has gone back upstairs, searching for restless spirits. When his flashlight goes out, he puts on night goggles, missing the cruel looking spirit standing behind him. Downstairs, the others hear Corbett scream. All of them run upstairs despite Sam and Dean’s protests that they MUST get out. Corbett is screaming, “Let me go!” as he’s being dragged through the house. By the time the Winchesters join the Ghostfacers, Corbett is gone, his cries echoing. It’s 11:59, and Sam and Dean try desperately to hustle the group out of the house, promising ice cream. It’s too late–12:04. The Ghostfacers check the monitors and can’t find Corbett. Sam berates Dean, “You said the Morton House was going to be your Grand Canyon. You’ve only got two months left, and instead we’re going to die tonight.” Sam smashes a chair over the door. Every exit out of the house is sealed–a supernatural lock-down. It wants them, realizes Maggie. The EMF spikes again and they all huddle together. Another ghost appears; Dean tries to talk to him, to shock him into realizing he’s dead, perhaps break the loop. They hear a train, which runs over the ghost. Both train and ghost disappear.

 

Sam and Dean learn that the last owner of this house, Mr. Daggett, was a former hospital janitor, ate C-rations, was into taxidermy, and liked to bring dead bodies home from the hospital to play with, witnessed by the discovery of three toe tags of men who had died by gunshots, train accident, and suicide via train. That explained the death echoes of people who hadn’t even died at the Morton house. Although it takes a moment to register, the knowledge of Daggett’s gruesome hobby elicits a collective ewwwwwwwwwwww! from the Ghostfacers. Another huge surge on the Ghostfacers’ equipment ends with Sam’s disappearance. Only his flashlight remains on the floor. SAM! yells Dean. “SAM!!”

 

SAM! SAMMY! CORBETT! everyone calls. Maggie is scared. Maggie and Harry, nervous over the two disappearances, disappear into a corner to make out. Spruce hums some porn music to help their mood, and Ed catches them. He’s pissed that his best friend is putting the moves on his adopted sister, and they indulge in a little girly fighting.   Dean intervenes, reminding them they are down by two people. SAM! Dean calls, and leaves, disgusted. Harry and Ed apologize. Maggie is annoyed with both idiots.

 

Lesley Gore sings “It’s My Party and I’ll Cry if I Want To” – Corbett, unconscious, his head bleeding, and Sam, tied up, wide awake, sit at a table. Corbett comes to, looks around, sees a dead body seated next to him and moans in fear. “Stay with me, Corbett,” begs Sam, “look at me, stay with me!” Daggett take a long, pointed knife and sticks it through the back of Corbett’s neck, killing him. He falls face-down on the table. Dean and the Ghostfacers all call to Corbett. Dean, thinking hard, figures out Daggett was a cold war nut and scared. The Ghostfacers follow on Dean’s heels. Basement: Daggett approaches Sam, who, fearing Corbett’s fate, orders, “Get away from me!” Daggett simply fastens a pointed party hat on Sam’s head. 

 

Dean, heading for the basement, finds himself separated from the others–apparently by Daggett, who telepathically closes the door between them. Dean orders them to get salt from his duffel, make a circle and get inside. “Inside your duffel?” asks Ed. “Inside the salt!” yells Dean. Once inside the circle, Ed tells Harry if they don’t die, it’s OK for him to do his sister. Maggie punches her brother. To their horror, a bloody, choking Corbett appears before them.

 

Dean refuses to discuss his “two-month” deadline with an inquiring Spruce; he’s doing his job! From somewhere, he catches the strains of “It’s My Party.” 

 

Basement: “I get lonely,” Daggett sadly tells Sam, “but you’re coming to my party, aren’t you?” Sam struggles against his bonds. 

 

Dean hears the music issuing from behind a wall and shoves aside a cabinet. “You’re strong,” remarks Spruce. Dean gives him the finger. He gets inside just as Daggett is about to kill Sam and shoots Daggett with a salty bullet, making him temporarily disappear. Grotesque corpses litter the room, party hats on their heads, favors, party horns in their grinning mouths. Moldy cake sits in the middle of the table. Spruce aims the camera at one of fresher corpses. “Oh, no, Corbett!”

 

Ed sits in the circle, rocking and moaning. Maggie and Harry explain that Corbett is a death echo, reliving his horrible murder over and over. 

 

Sam explains to Dean and Spruce that Daggett told him of his loneliness. Those corpses he brought home were his only friends, so he OD’d on horse tranks. Now a ghost, he keeps bringing new victims to his “party.” 

 

Back in the salt circle, Harry, rocking, sings the Ghostfacers theme song. Corbett reappears. Ed gingerly leaves the circle to try to speak to him, but he jumps back, upset; Corbett won’t stop dying! 

 

Basement: Daggett reappears, Sam shoots him. 

 

Salt circle: Harry reminds Ed that Corbett WANTED him; Ed now has to go be gay for that poor dead intern, send him into the light! With renewed courage, Ed steps from the circle and tells Corbett, “You meant a lot to the team, you meant a lot to me, never back down, never say a bad word, I remember because I love you, Corbett, I really, truly love you.” “Hey, Ed,” says Corbett, now awakened from his death loop. “Help us,” begs Ed, “you have to, please help us.” Sam and Dean join them, but so does Daggett! He attacks Dean and Sam, sending them violently to the floor. Corbett appears and jumps at Daggett. The two of them turn into a gray ball of swirling, fighting dust, soon disappearing altogether.   Later: Sam and Dean rise, bloody, achy, but unharmed.

 

Outside Morton House – 2/29 – Everybody exits. Ed and Harry are back on their chairs in front of the fireplace talking about death and life, facing themselves–war changes man, and one woman. Corbett gets full Ghostfacer status. You were teaching us about heart, dedication, how gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day. Go well into that starry night young Turk, go well. Film: Corbett, ordering Spruce to pack up. Confess! Corbett: “I think tonight all our dreams are going to come true.” Freeze on Corbett. “In Memory of Alan J. Corbett, 1985-2008 – King of the Impossible   (Credits roll). The camera pulls back to reveal that Sam and Dean have been watching this on a computer screen, the Ghostfacers behind them in the garage, drinking beer. Dean and Sam exchange looks as Dean pronounces it “Half awesome.” Sam, surreptitiously sliding something underneath the computer on the floor, remarks how bizarrely it honors Corbett’s memory while exploiting his death. Dean tells them what a tightrope they’re walking. Corbett gave his life searching for the truth, says Ed, and it’s our job to share it with the world.  

 

Dean and Sam explain that what you get when you show the world the truth is a straitjacket or a punch in the face, sometimes both. Harry accuses them of being ‘facer-haters’ for getting the footage of the century. “You’ve got us there,” says Dean, “see you around.” They leave. The Ghostfacers declare the Winchesters “dicks.” They’re talking of a bigger office, going national and international when they find the “Menudo dance bag” the brothers left behind. They take out what’s inside. It looks almost like a bomb, but what it does is wipe their computer hard drives clean of everything–as in “no operating system found.”

 

Sam and Dean run out to the Impala, hearing the dismayed cries of the Ghostfacers back in the garage. The electromagnet they left behind wiped out every trace of the show; the world just isn’t ready for the Ghostfacers. “It’s too bad,” says Dean, “I kinda liked the show.” “It had its moments,” agrees Sam. With the Ghostfacers theme playing on the soundtrack, the Winchesters hang a left turn and head out with a squeal of the Impala’s tires.

 

Confession: I did NOT like this episode at all for a very long time. Since then, it’s grown on me, mainly because I do like the two guys who play the GHOSTFACERS and must admit this episode was pretty funny. I enjoy the whole Corbett-Ed scene and how they were able to get the intern to save them all, especially “You go be gay for that poor dead intern.” My biggest problem was that this ep just didn’t have enough Dean and Sam in it for my taste. What do you think of this ep? Love it or hate it?