We’ve seen Sam do that. He knew that his emerging abilities scared the hell out of his brother and perhaps Sam felt something else: would he lose his brother if Dean was unable to handle the new development? Just as they had begun to be brothers again, that would have been the worst possible scenario however, Dean made his point clear:
S: “I was connecting to Max. I don’t know why, man. I guess because we’re so alike? We both have psychic abilities, we’re both-“
D: “Both what, Sam? Max is a monster (a name Dean would give Sam about three years hence). He’s killed to people and he’s gunning for a third.”
S: “…with what he went through, to want revenge on these people, I hate to say it, but it’s not that insane.”
D: “It doesn’t justify killing his entire family. He’s no different than anything else we’re hunted. We gotta end him.” (which was almost an early voice of what Dean would say to Sam in season four’s Metamorphosis: “If I didn’t know you, I would wanna hunt you. And so would other hunters.“)
Although Sam had no reason yet to believe that his brother could ever turn away, Dean’s radical point of view probably made him wary of how open he might be in regard to what was going on within him.
He needed his brother’s advice, his devotion and support, but he also knew that Dean would have trouble comprehending whatever was going on. This was more than was meant to exist in the Winchesters’ black-and-white world of hunting. Suddenly the lines were not as clearly drawn, and Sam began to feel isolated there was no one belonging to him who could relate in any way to what he was going through.
It got worse for him, when he learned that Max’s mother had died in the exact same way as Mary. “You and I must be connected in some way, Max… For some reason you and I were chosen.’ Chosen for what? Later, Sam moved the cabinet that entrapped him in that closet with his mind the fear of losing Dean serving as a catalyst here, which was another shock of the unexpected, and his intelligence again made him connect the dots correctly: “Why would this demon kill Mom and Jessica and Max’s mother? What does it want? You think, maybe it was after us? After Max and me? …either telekinesis or premonitions, we both had abilities. Maybe it’s after us, for some reason.”
He guessed the truth long before YellowEyes shoved it in his face in “Devil’sTrap“: “Why’d I killed mommy and pretty little Jess? Because they got in the way(of) my plans for you, Sammy, you and all the children like you.” He knew it was about him. And Max. He did not know at that point how many others there were, but he felt there was more to it.
So did we. By the time the first season ended we knew that some terrible things were afoot. That there was more to Sam’s abilities than first met the eye. But we had no time to get deeper into it, as the loss of John occupied the brothers’ minds for the first episodes of season two. They were at odds with each other, and they needed to come to terms with being orphaned.
What we did not know, yet Dean was left heavily burdened after John’s death: he knew that something horrible was coming in regard to Sam. He had to save his brother from that or kill him. Dean knew that his father had feared Sam might “go dark side”, though he had not any idea what exactly John could have meant by that.
“Sam here, he’s my brother. He’s psychic, kinda like you (Andy). Well, not exactly like you, but see he thinks you’re a murderer and he’s afraid that he’s gonna become one himself because you’re all part of something that’s terrible, and I hope to hell that he’s wrong, but I’m starting to get a little scared that he might be right.” (Dean, “Simon Said”)
After a few weeks of quiet in the psychic department, Sam suddenly got ambushed by another devastating vision which led the brothers to Andy Gallagher, sweet, harmless next-door Obi-Wan. For Sam it must have been a weird kind of deja-vu after their encounter with Max Miller.
They even informed Ellen in the end of Sam’s abilities, though Dean had been reluctant at first:
D: “I don’t know if announcing that you’re some supernatural freak with a demon connection is the best thing.”
S: “So, I’m a freak now?”
D: “You’ve always been a freak.”
Of course, Dean was indeed freaked out, and even though he tried to deny and avoid the subject, Sam noticed Dean’s growing trepidation. To see his brother on whose strength and street-wisdom he had relied upon his whole life looking at him differently only enhanced Sam’s own fears about what was happening to him. In fact, in his mind catastrophes were beginning to form, the worst scenarios, as Sam had always been prone to react on a dramatic side.
S:
“Andy Gallagher. He’s the second guy like this we’ve found. Demon came when they were kids, now they’re killing people.’ (the subtext being: when will
I begin to kill people?)
“My visions haven’t been wrong, yet.”
D:
“What’s your point?”
S:
“My point is, I’m one of them. The demon said he had plans for me and children like me. Maybe this is his plan. Maybe we’re all a bunch of psychic freaks. Maybe we’re all supposed to be-“
D:
“What, killers? So the demon wants you all killing with your mind, is that it? Give me a break. You’re not a murderer Sam. You don’t have it in your bones!””
S:
“No? Last I checked I kill all kinds of things.””
D: “
These things were asking for it. There’s a difference.”
(Dean, however, was not convinced of his own words. This was a journey he could hardly protect Sam from. He could not take away those horrible headaches and most certainly he wasn’t capable of really soothing Sam’s growing terror. He felt helpless here. And out of his league. He had not dealt with anything, like Sam said earlier, that affected their family in this manner.)
At least some hope was to be found for Sam, as he discovered that Andy was a nice guy, not a killer by nature, but he, also, had been capable of killing his own brother to save another’s life. “Bottom line: last night he wasted somebody. (He) was pushed, in his own way. Max Miller was pushed, hell, I was pushed by Jessica’s death right circumstances, everyone is capable of murder. Everyone. Maybe that’s what the demon’s doing. Pushing us, finding ways to break us.”
The events ensuing did not exactly help improve Sam’s vision of his own possible future, of what he might become. Nothing in his universe was familiar anymore. The lines were blurred and he wasn’t able to define what or who he was. He detected the fear in Dean’s eyes repeatedly, Dean’s changed way of looking at him, Dean’s attempts to avoid even talking about that.
When he finally heard the truth about John’s final message (only a heartbeat after he discovered to be immune to a demonic virus we know now why: Sam, as Lucifer’s preferred ride, had to be safe from the viral symptoms in order to survive the epidemic the demons planned to unleash in the future, as he was supposed to allow Lucifer to slip into his meat which only works if the host is alive), his heart sank, as did his optimistic confidence he had managed to keep despite all the guilt and shame that held him captive and which was so much a part of his being we couldn’t conceive of Sam without it.
His own father had believed Sam to be a time bomb. If Dean did not find a way to defuse it (well, save Sam was just a euphemism) he had to kill his own brother. A burden neither Dean nor Sam were comfortable with. Understatement. Neither understood what it meant, but John’s words did a lot of damage to their souls and their relationship. They caused Dean to be careful, more afraid than ever, and Sam began to dread his destiny of going dark side. Sam realized very soon that fate was at work here. A curse, as he liked to call it. He fought with destiny for the power of free will early on he did not name it, but in fact this was what he was doing: fighting for hope to be able to change the destiny intended for him.
It burned in him with a devastating heat and they found even more psychic kids (Ava and heard of the other one stabbed in the parking lot in
Hunted) who were considered threats and hunted, this time by Gordon Walker, a self-anointed knight of righteousness, who set a trap for Sam which he, clever man that he is, survived.
Sam grew more desperate. It seemed at times that he could hardly concentrate on the job at hand, as his confusion increased. His visions would not leave him alone. In Playthings he again witnessed in a vision the gruesome death of some innocent man (we were not explicitly shown how it happened, but the following scene allows us to assume so).
D: “There’s been another one. Some guy hung himself in his room.”
S: “Yeah, I saw.’ (Sam appeared exhausted from his vision, probably got drunk to rid himself of the headaches and the disappointment of not having been able to save the man)
S: “The guy who hung himself – I couldn’t save him.”
D: “What are you talking about! You couldn’t have done anything.”
S: “That’s an excuse, Dean. I should have found a way to save him. I should have saved Ava, too.”
D: “Well, you can’t save everyone, even you said that.”
S: “No, Dean! (and his despair turned into desperate anger and fear, again) You don’t understand, all right? The more people I save, the more I can change.”
D: “Change what?”
S: “My destiny, Dean. I need you to watch out for me.”
D: ” I always do.”
S: “No, no, no. You have to watch out for me, all right? And if I ever turn into something that I’m not, you have to kill me. Dean, Dad told you to do it, you have to.”
D: “Yeah? Well, Dad’s an ass! He never should’ve said anything. You don’t do that. You don’t lay crap like that on your kids.” (Amen, brother!)
S: “No, he was right to say it.” (probably the first time Sam supported John’s view, as it mirrored his own) “Who knows what I might become? Even now, everyone around me dies. Please, Dean, you’re the only one who can do it. Promise.”
D: “Don’t ask that of me.”
S: “Dean, please, you have to promise me.”
D: “I promise.”
S: “Thanks. Thank you.”
He tried to cling to his belief and prayer; he hoped there might be some greater power at work to protect him, as he had been praying every day for a long time. His brush with an “angel” in “Houses of the Holy” reminded him of his need of celestial support:
S: “I don’t know, Dean, I just, uh, I wanted to believe to badly. It’s so damned hard to do this, what we do. All alone, you know. And there’s so much evil out in the world, Dean, I feel like I could drown in it. And when I think about my destiny, when I think about how I could end up.”
D: “Yeah, well, don’t worry about that, alright? I’m watching out for you.”
S: “I know you are. But you’re just one person, Dean. And I needed to think that there was something else watching, too, you know? Some higher power, some greater good. And that maybe I…”
D: “Maybe what?”
S: “Maybe I could be saved.”
Sammy was at his wits’ end. The more he looked into it, the more he began to understand that there was hardly anything to do they already did all they could to find Yellow Eyes and stop whatever plans he had. No one could have fought harder, but he was slipping towards his “destiny” throughout the second season, even more as he became possessed by Meg and almost killed Jo and Dean.
He tried to make amends in his own way trying to save as many people as possible, and he became especially moved by Madison’s curse in “Heart.” The attraction he felt to her was not only based on physical appeal, but on the notion that they had something in common: a monster lurking beneath the surface. Sam felt for her, understood her horror upon learning the truth, and connected to her. Trying to save Madison was not merely a selfless act it was selfish as well: if Sam was able to help her, somewhat cure her of her curse, then maybe he could be saved, too. We all know, however, how it worked out. He had to shoot the woman he began to fall in love with. Which was another nail to the coffin of his hope could he actually change his destiny?
It did not look like it. Eventually Sam was abducted along with several other psychic kids to an old and haunted town, to be a part of an early version of Supernatural’s gladiator match. Panem et circenses. Bread and games. And Azazel indeed played mind games with the “kids,” even more: he disclosed the truth to Sam that he had bled into his mouth upon his sixth month’s birthday, that Sam had something inside of him, “this disease pumping through my veins and I can’t ever rip it out or scrub it clean.” (Sam, “Metamorphosis”). It had to dawn on Sam that this was bigger than he expected, even more so, as he also learned that Mary had known Azazel.
Great part 1! I look forward to part 2 🙂
One point though: Sam didn’t have a vision in Playthings. He simply saw the body before Dean did, and got drunk out of guilt that he had failed to solve the case before there was another fatality. Sam only ever had visions when they were in direct connection with the demon or one of the other special kids using their powers – hence why he hasn’t had another vision since the demon and all the special kids were killed.
In other words, all this demonic stuff is nothing to worry about, cool.
Jas, fantastic as always, lots to comb through, but I think I’m going to wait until reading what you have to say in part two before I give my 1.3 cents. 😎
Hi Jas. This is great, I love it when you go all metameta on the Winchesters 🙂
A fascinating piece and I agree whole heartedly with everything you say (well, except the Playthings part, I don’t think he had a vision either but and interesting possibility nevertheless).
Sams story has been a real tragic one. The boy just doesn’t seem to get a break. Everything he has slips through his fingers, and everyone he loves gets taken from him, often quite brutally. There seems to be no way to win. That empathy he had was turned against him when he refused to kill Jake and all that got him was a knife in the back and Dean condemning himself to hell. Boy, talk about tragedy. And then he turns to that dark side, throws his humanity away ’cause what’s the point right? And yet, after everything, he still isn’t all gone. He is still Sam, underneath all that pain and suffering. There is reason for hope, he said, and as long as he believes that, I have faith in him and Dean.
Thanks for this. Looking forward to part 2.
Pete, Kalixa, Randal, Dany, and Supernarttu, thank you for commenting, guys!
Pete, Randal – honoured. Thanks.
Kalixa and Supernarttu, you’re right, ladies, how could that escape my analytic mind? I always thought Sam to have had a vision in Playthings, it seemed so organic to me, but I did not think about the exclusive connections of his visions. Thanks for pointing that out to me. I stand corrected.
Sam is indeed the ultimate tragic hero, I guess. Well, for me he is…
Dany, sure you make sense, dear. Getting Sam believe he was addicted to the blood was a neat trick, eh? Just you wait, demons…
:-), Jas
Jas, thank you so much for this review. Sam is not as popular with fandom as Dean, who was always seen as the hero of the story (which he is, but not the only one). Sam has been my favorite brother from the beginning. In my opinion, the character is so fascinating precisely because of his ambiguity and complexity. And definitely yes, he’s a tragic hero.