What’s Love Got To Do With It?
Escaping to Stanford was the primary (the only?) reason that Sam and Jessica lasted as long as they did and look how that still turned out, which leads us to Sam’s wholly expected hesitance towards Sarah Blake in Provenance:
SARAH: You’re scared they’d get hurt, too. That’s very sweet. And very archaic.
SAM: Sorry?
SARAH: Look, I’m a big girl, Sam. It’s not your job to make decisions for me. There’s always a chance of getting hurt.
SAM: I’m not talking about a broken heart and a tub of Haagen-Dazs. I’m talking about life and death.
SARAH: And tomorrow, I could get hit by a bus. That’s what life is. Look, I know losing somebody you love—it’s terrible. You shut yourself off, believe me, I know. But when you shut out pain, you shut out everything else, too.
SAM: Look, Sarah, you don’t understand. The pain that I went through—I can’t go through it again. I can’t.?
But how much of a barrier is death to love in the world of Supernatural? It didn’t stop Molly McNamara from looking for her husband, David, nor did it stop Ducky Neil from bringing back the woman he secretly pined for, though that was more than simply a bad idea. And it certainly didn’t stop Sam and Dean from cheating death on more than one occasion.
In What Is And What Should Never Be, we see both brothers being half of a happy couple, a blazing neon clue that there was no way such joy was real. But peel away the lunacy and the anger and the rage and the crazy — and, oh, an apocalypse — and do you doubt for a single moment that that isn’t what they want? We see a faint glimmer of this in relationships that would otherwise be classified as doomed to be unfulfilled or surrogates for such happiness: Sam and Ruby in season four and Dean and Jo. Each of us knows well the story about Dean in hell and drunken, kamikaze Sam who shaped up to help save others; wanted to wrest some of that power, that leadership cache away from Dean; but most of all, wanted to feel. As did Dean, and, at the end of the day, the failure to physically consummate with Jo means nothing. Cast aside any easy categorization of love, amorous or otherwise, for few things are more labyrinthine than this lunatic trance, and with Jo on her deathbed, drink in that dyad of a pure love, a humanity, the why of why they go through this hell in the first place. If we’re talking purity, I’d be remiss in not mentioning fake Sam and Dean from The Real Ghostbusters. Civilians thrust into the brothers’ world, they more than held their own and they tell Dean that exact why, something that at that point he needed to be reminded of.
Lest you all think that romantic (and certainly tragic) love is a pipe dream, I give you John and Mary Winchester. The premature death of one, the premature death of the other, the one hiding a secret and wishing that secret to never be visited upon her children, only to have exactly that happen, her protective mantle posthumously (“currently,” if we wish to be technical in a late 70s sense) taken up by her spouse, a man who once believed in happily ever after. In a way, more than the weapons training and tracking ability and the guts, isn’t that Mary and John’s ultimate legacy? Happily ever after may never come, but it’s something worth striving for.
A mission. Kinda like a mission from God.
It runs from the top of my fingers
Into my hands
What, is it I have been drinking?
I do not understand
I, thought I’d lost you my brother
I’m so glad you came
My regards to the ones that I love I miss them
Tell them I love them I miss them — Katatonia, Omerta
DEAN: Yeah well dad’s in real trouble if he’s not dead already, I can feel it. I can’t do this alone.
SAM: Yes you can.
DEAN: Yeah. Well, I don’t want to.
Brotherly love has apparently been relocated from Philadelphia to a ’67 Chevy Impala, because what these two will endure to make sure the other is firing on all cylinders (read: not a dead, deceased corpse) is nigh superhuman (and a little bit crazy) and there are myriad examples to choose from: Dean refusing to give up on locating Sam (The Benders); Sam going after Dean even with the foreknowledge that he might get blown to fleshy shrapnel (Hunted); in spite of the murderous evidence, Dean unwilling to cast aside the hope of innocence (Born Under a Bad Sign). So what if he were to come face-to-face with the decision John warned him might manifest? “I’d rather die.”
In part two of All Hell Breaks Loose, it looks like he, and everyone else, might get that chance.
BOBBY: Something big is going down – end-of-the world big.
DEAN: Well, then let it end!
Yikes. Like you, I have complete, unshakeable faith that Dean will be able compose himself and come to the only possible conclusion.
DEAN: It’s like I had one job… I had one job… And I screwed it up. I blew it. And for that, I’m sorry. I guess that’s what I do. I let down the people I love. I let Dad down. And now I guess I’m just supposed to let you down, too. How can I? How am I supposed to live with that? What am I supposed to do? Sammy. God. What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do!
Forgetting for a moment that that was one of the all time great acting performances that I’ve ever seen, big screen or small, what else could Dean do but, through an unyielding love for his brother, sacrifice not merely his life, but his soul, to eternal damnation? Whether towards your spouse, girlfriend, boyfriend, mother, father, brother, sister, daughter, son, cat, dog, goldfish, pet rock, love makes you do the wacky. And here, the cycle remains unbroken save by a decision that’s out of their hands. Recall No Rest for the Wicked. “What am I supposed to do,” says Sam. The man who a year earlier willingly sacrificed himself out of love gazes into a mirror etched with those same words, and tells that man to keep fighting; in essence, to let him go. By the time Lazarus Rising rolls around, our suspicions are confirmed: Sam tried to deal. Of course he did. Only this time, the demon realm said thanks, but no thanks.
And what of the resurrected Sam, post-Miss America? Oh, he was only willing to start what one could say was, at the time, a business relationship with a demon in order to help Dean get out of his deal (The Kids Are Alright) — and we just turned the corner into season three.
Even when faced with emotionally crushing moments such as these, and lesser ones such as the return to one of their old high schools (where we see a sad byproduct of a difficult family circumstance in the tragic end of Dirk), the incarceration of Sam in Bobby’s panic room and the unprecedented decision to go their separate ways in season five, their bond of love remains indestructible. Did they not come back together and all but give heaven and hell, through the proxy of Gabriel, a big middle finger? Play our roles? They, like the Norse gods who knew they were to fall once Ragnarök arrived but fought on regardless, say good luck with that, bub.
Brothers will fight and kill each other,
Cousins will destroy kinship.
It is hard in the world, much whoredom,
An ax age, a sword age, shields are split,
A wind age, a wolf age, before the world falls;
No man will spare another.
– Völuspá 45
Sounds about right since Michael, in his first appearance (The Song Remains the Same) brazenly declared that there’s enough yes to go around for everyone and there’s not a goddamn thing you can do about it. Dean remains adamant about saying no, non, nein, nyet, the philosophical and pragmatic ramifications and application of free will be damned. Until Sam provides a personal hypothetical, one Dean knows all too well, thus leading to the inevitable question: will they both end up saying yes out of love?
People, let me tell you ‘bout my best friend
To the ancient Greeks, a nurtured, or ritualized, friendship was xenia, to the ancient Romans, hospitum, a sharing of the same task. For the former, witness constant traveling in the Impala (what are those five albums Dean constantly listens to?); cheap, often oddly-decorated hotels; bad food microwaved in the local minimart; research, research, research; playful banter. For the latter, think of an Aristotelian virtue-friendship where one acts upon the other’s life, thereby instigating the second to do good, which reflects upon the initial works of the first, their lives and good works intertwining into something greater, augmented here because of love. Even amidst their lowest points, Sam and Dean always come back together. There are plenty of issues to work out, bien sûr, but if you honestly think that either one wouldn’t make that ultimate sacrifice one more time, I’ve got bridges to sell you, made directly here in our factory and for a low, low price.
Though published in 1960, C.S. Lewis’ words on friendship remain applicable, perhaps more so, in this supremely jaded, post-whatever age:
When either Affection or Eros is one’s theme, one finds a prepared audience. The importance and beauty of both have been stressed and almost exaggerated again and again. Even those who would debunk them are in conscious reaction against this laudatory tradition and, to that extent, influenced by it. But very few modern people think Friendship a love of comparable value or even a love at all.
To Lewis, Romanticism was the great culprit (hey!), and though we’ll get to his Affection in a moment, Sam and Dean, though brothers, are also friends, for they certainly act upon each other’s life, by turns enriching and maddening it, and it would be pointless for me to list the countless examples of that over the nearly 100 episodes. You know them, and by turns they make you laugh and cry. To continue:
Lovers are always talking to one another about their love; Friends hardly ever about their Friendship. Lovers are normally face to face, absorbed in each other; Friends, side by side, absorbed in some common interest.
Sound familiar?
“We can say anything to one another.” The truth behind this is that Affection at its best can say whatever Affection at its best wishes to say, regardless of the rules that govern public courtesy; for Affection at its best wishes neither to wound nor humiliate nor to domineer.
I know what you’re thinking; these jokers fight any semblance of opening up tooth and nail, refusing to wear their heart on their sleeve as far as it concerns their brotherly relationship. Day-to-day, that’s absolutely true, but remember Sam trying his damndest to ward Dean off impersonating a ninja (Fresh Blood), or Dean, honestly frightened for his brother, pleading that he give up using his powers (Metamorphosis). What needed to be said was said, and even after the fracture at the end of When the Levee Breaks, through a sharp, honest Bobby pep talk, Dean reached out to his brother. Even after the greater fracture of Good God, Y’All!, the brothers knew they needed each other to survive, personally and professionally. Each is the other’s touchstone, the link to humanity.
Mercenaries fight for loot, medieval knights fought for lord and land, but heroes, true heroes, the best of their kind, fight for love. There’s nothing more human, is there not? For without love, being human carries no meaning (what fun is it being an empty meat puppet unless you’re the puppeteer?), though being a cynic, I must of course fritter this essay away on a down note and cannot help but think of the photo of Sam, Dean, Bobby, Ellen, Jo and Castiel burning in the fire, something that cleanses, purifies yet also consumes. Love binds them all together; will it be the kindling of their destruction?
Wishful thinking?
Fulfillment is snatched from our grasp at the last moment; or, rather, it is fulfillment itself which nature, the malicious trickster, uses to destroy happiness. Having failed with everything belonging to the world of fact and external life, nature creates its ultimate impediment to happiness by making it a psychological impossibility. The phenomenon of happiness does not come to pass; or else it leads to utter bitterness. – Marcel Proust, À l’ombre de jeunes filles en fleur
So, is this fight, as Monsieur Proust would have us believe, in vain? Are Sam and Dean and everyone else wasting their precious time better spent chugging down malt beverages in front of the boob tube before being engulfed in a lake of fire, or in this case, the Croatoan virus? Is happiness, love, a leaky pipe dream? Hardly. The best part of Supernatural, for me, is that our heroes give that big middle finger to random, unpredictable evil, those powers-that-be that continue their assault of destiny upon our quest for happiness and fulfillment, a gesture borne not on the turbulent seas of doubt, but on cherished currents of passion and affection and charity, even if our all-too-human reach often exceeds our grasp. What’s love got to do with it? Everything.
I’m surprised you didn’t mention future Dean of “The End” as an example of your lovely quotes Alice. After all, that Dean perfectly illustrated how without love, everything crumbles or in Dean’s case, he looses his humanity. At least, that was what i took from that episode. And by the way, great article. It made me squee to see an article acknowledging that Supernatural is all about love;(fraternal and familial of course.) Something I’ve always known from day one. 😉
Deep, profound, poetic, but you’re going to have to write really, really small to get it all on the card …
Wow Randal…this was wonderful. You actually had my bottom lip quivering on the last line. :cry::
I’m with Suze on this one “Deep, profound, poetic….â€
And Suze! “You crack me so consistanly up.†😀
Randal – my God, what a spectacular piece! You have never managed to convince me of being a cynic, sorry, and I’ve read some stuff you’ve written so far… A man who observes with this poetic clarity the cruelty and beauty of love is anything else but.
I’m with you in every sentence, and I’m deeply moved (as I am, apart from being quite cynical sometimes (ha!), a sometimes too compassionate soul). After reading this, it became very obvious to me, again, that you describe what drew me to the show from the first moment on.
It could have been the gory horror, the handsome faces, the classic car – and it was, but what touched me most from episode one was the bond between the brothers, already palpable in those many nuances that expanded over the course of now five seasons. The love, if you will.
And that is universal, as you wonderfully pointed out. Those are the stories that have captured me for as long as I can remember, as their themes are universal – Aramis, Athos, Porthos, D’Artagnan. Patroclos and Achilles. Frodo and Sam. Robin Hood and Little John. Hamlet and Horatio (thanks by the way for putting a line of my all-time favourite Hamlet in your text, along with those other fine quotes). Sam and Dean. It’s always about love. About fellowship. Family. The kind of family that doesn’t end with blood and that ‘second’ family is easily capable of taking the place of the ‘first’ blood-ties when that first one isn’t there anymore. Believe me, I know. (I wouldn’t mind the occasional romantic tangle, though, I know,I know, it’s a road trip…)
Being there for each other and doing everything humanly possible – that is damn worth fighting for. It is, indeed, what makes us human. That is something I have always admired about people, the determination to go on, no matter how torn and wounded your soul is. Not everyone manages that, but those who do leave me in awe – as do our dear brothers here. Perhaps, as far as the ability to bear pain goes, they, indeed, are to some extend super-human, because I can’t imagine how a person not endowed with demon blood or divine sword power could do and survive what they have (I have an article in the works concerning that specific point, coming soon). Of if they can, it takes a lot more inner strength than most people possess. Well, that’s what makes them heroes.
We are most vulnerable when we love. Olde buddy Sigmund F. already made that clear, as did most poets you and I and many others love (yes, dear, I’m still on Team Tennyson and Team Shakespeare. And Team Coleridge. And Team Poe. And – I’ll shut up now).
Would anyone of us consider sacrificing his soul, as Dean did and Sam was prepared to do, to save a loved one? To bring him back? I don’t know if I could, but I have been at points in my life when I would have done anything to have just one minute more with the one I lost. I understood Dean here perfectly well. And I have always felt very close to Sam and his idea of being cursed (movingly depicted in Provenance). You see, people I love keep dying. Sometimes I feel fear nagging in my cortex that something might happen to my friends,a result of that. Men I loved died. There were moments when I was massively afraid to even consider falling in love again. However irrational that might have been, the thought alone, and the experience was deeply painful, and there are moments I fear I haven’t completely recovered, but hey, what the heck, the show of life goes on and you do what needs to be done. (Good heavens, the anonymity of the web makes it easier to say that than I expected.)
From that point of view I’ve had a deep understanding of the brothers’ actions and motivations, and I’ve admired the writers’ capability to make their psychological journey logical and organic, as I mentioned before. This isn’t the best show on tv – my humble opinion – for no reason.
I need to read your article again, a few times, to find all the undertones that are there and perhaps react to them later. You have given us an insightful piece here, and personally you reminded me of the kind of strength I’m forever grateful to own, because else I would not have known, sometimes, how to go on. Being able to love, even if it’s painful, is a gift to be cherished. So – on a very personal note: thank you.
Little question – could you recommend a good English translation of the Edda? No doubt you’ve read it, and all those (I guess 66) stanzas of the Völuspá. I have a German version of it and felt tempted to quote from it before, but a bad translation, mine, just won’t do. Any edition you find in particular good?
;-)Jas
awwwwwwwwwwh, sometimes I talk too much… so sorry… 😮
Randal, man, this was beautiful. And to get an article about love, from a guy, is quite unique.
I agree whole heartedly on everything you say here.
And the bond between the brothers is something special and unspoken yet so clearly there, underneath all the unfairness that has befallen on them. That’s the thing that has kept them going, that’s the thing that will save them and in the end (I hope atleast) will give them peace and rest.
The End had a message. Without love, what’s the point?
Ps. Bonus points for quoting one of my fave bands, Katatonia. Omerta is a beautiful song. Come by, you have come far… *love*
Randal – that was………..awesomely beautiful!
You brought the tears to my eyes.
All of that is why I love this show Supernatural above all others I have ever seen.
Thank you.
Randal, great article. Love is what makes the world go round and you layed it out perfectly, not only in the realm of our fave show, Supernatural, but also in life itself. Thanks (tears are streaming down my face)
As said so brilliantly and commented from others, love is at the core of this show and that is what makes this show THE best show on TV, along with everything else this show entails.
And Jas, I think of my own experience when you touch on losing a loved one to death. My heart truly goes out to you and others who feel that way. I lost a man I loved, not to death, but he chose another woman. That hurt me deeply and I cut myself off from love. Shut down. And only recently have begun to open myself back up and become vulnerable again. I totally get that fear of opening yourself up again to love and be loved – it’s hard, but so worth it. I have never been happier than making that decision to be vulnerable again. Life does go on, and so must we. And to repeat what I said at the beginning – LOVE makes the world go round, and indeed it does. 🙂
Randal…awesome!!! What a beautiful piece to write. And, of course, you are right on!! Nothing moves people more than love. So nicely put!
Evelyn, thank you for your sweet words. I guess there is no greater pain than losing someone – to death, or to another woman. It is not exactly a rare specimen of experience, I think sometimes…
Don’t worry about me, though I appreciate your kindness. Perhaps I was not clear. I haven’t shut myself off. There were moments I wanted to (and I probably did for a short while), but that’s not who I am. Being vulnerable is also strength. I do believe that. And as life is helplessly imperfect it needs to be lived to the full. I need to believe that. To try to restrain what’s in the core of our being – the desire to be loved and to love, why else would we love such a show that finds that in its centre, as Randal so beautifully described – would only dilute the experience of living, like water does to good wine.
We need to protect ourselves at times, but I think only new experiences will protect us from the greatest danger of all – becoming bitter. I’ve met elder people who were bitter and disillusioned, with good reason as I found out, but I hope and pray that I will always find a way to find that smile in my heart. However cheesy and trivial that might sound.
Thanks again, Jas
Randal– Good God, dude … just … wow. 😯
Thanks, all! Don’t forget to buy a t-shirt! Buy two, and get a free Action Figure Cas accessory!
anene, believe me, there were about 750 more quotes I could have added, but then this would have been a novella finished sometime after Labor Day.
suze, you don’t think Valentine’s Day cards on microfilm will ever catch on? Have faith that the plan is just.
clarice, as long as no one is crying at my run-on sentences!
karen, I sure hope the poetry contest judge has the same response; I’ll be a shoe-in!
“Ah, it’s-a no good without the loop.”
jas, oh, I’m a cynic, trust me. I just happen to simultaneously be a sap. It’s frustrating. 😀
Don’t shut about those poets, those are some of my favorite! What I love about this show is that these sentiments and never portrayed with any cheese; it’s genuine. I was just watched the Benders the other day, and when Dean finds Sam (I won’t mention the cage for I don’t want to be deafened by a chorus of squee from you ladies), there’s a deep sense of relief that’s almost palpable.
Thanks for your comment, and for your strength to comment on this and on the pain that, sadly, is often intertwined with it (yes, thank the internets gods for anonymity!) and as for an English translation of the Edda, the two that I have that are good (according the experts; I can’t read Old Norse!) are Carolyne Larrington and Anthony Faulkes. Both should be pretty easy to nab at Amazon for a decent cost, too.
Dany, crap, now I have to restore our hard-won rep. Football, beer, boobies.
One thing that I hope I made clear is that even if Sam or Dean or Bobby or anyone doesn’t *like* a particular person, they’ll still fight for them because of love for the greater whole. Look at Hollywood Babylon. That writer was a yokel, Dean knew it, but they saved him anyway.
Supernarttu, remember, we’re still Neanderthals. 😎
As alluring as the surface trappings are (monsters, blood, violence, a cool mythology, a cool car, eye candy though far less for us dudes, c’mon Kripke), the show can’t be about anything BUT that.
You mean there’s actually another Katatonia fan out there? WOO! I see your bonus points and raise you!
bevie, thanks, I’m glad I seemed to have touched a chord with everyone. Good to see there are no heartless robotic monsters (like Cheney) among us.
evelyn, thanks, for at the end of the day, that’s what we’re all looking for, something that profound. Unless, you know, you’re a nihilist.
sablegreen, thanks, I’m just glad love doesn’t include naked Cupids running around hugging everyone, ’cause that would be awkward.
jas, I agree about the vulnerability is strength. In this day and age, there are expectations, roles and what not, and people are so often afraid to completely let someone in. Fear of rejection, this, that, the other thing.
I think the show plays on that well; everyone has their defense mechanism, but when you are vulnerable, naked, those shields are gone, and you hope the other party understands because they have the power to knock you on your ass.
Hey, absinthe is bitter and that’s good. 😎
ElenaM, merci!
Randal, some of my friends and hubby dig the band A LOT but it’s not really a “hit” here… Dunno what’s the state of their gloryness across the ocean but I hope they have made success there. A truly amazing band. I wish they’d tour here so I could go and see. We have the new album and it’s quite good. Well, no Viva Emptiness or Last Fair Deal Gone Down but it’s still respectable.
Another great one that is a little less known (here anyway) is Anathema. Another incredible band with lots of great songs with beutiful lyrics. That one we got to see live and it was fabulous. Me and hubby were all misty when Last goodbye came on. That was the song that we danced to through the last hours of our wedding night. It’s a really sad song but so so beautiful.
O, crap. Didn’t mean to turn this lovely article discussion into a band review, sorry folks.
Still loving youuuuu, I mean this aartiicleee.
Come on, I know you love the Scorps 🙂
I’m a little late to the party here, but really cool article, Randal. I don’t really have anything to add that hasn’t already been mentioned, but thanks for writing it!
This is an amazing article. I enjoyed reading it (even though I don’t claim to understand all of it !) 🙂