Shiny Happy People – Really?
‘When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade.’ I don’t know who the first person was to ever say those famous words. But you hear them every now and again. Sometimes they come in the guise of a Monty Python song (Always Look On The Bright Side of Life), a Charlie Chaplin Song, made popular by Nat King Cole (Smile), of a political statement (Yes, We Can!) or a book (The Secret). Both songs became top ten hits, well, Obama won the election and Rhonda Byrne sold a heck of a lot of books. Bottom line: think positive, and life will be easier to handle.
Shiny Happy People – Really?
‘When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade.’ I don’t know who the first person was to ever say those famous words. But you hear them every now and again. Sometimes they come in the guise of a Monty Python song (Always Look On The Bright Side of Life), a Charlie Chaplin Song, made popular by Nat King Cole (Smile), of a political statement (Yes, We Can!) or a book (The Secret). Both songs became top ten hits, well, Obama won the election and Rhonda Byrne sold a heck of a lot of books. Bottom line: think positive, and life will be easier to handle.
Shrinks and psychologists, you know – my kind, have been guilty (among others, of course) of popularizing that train of thought. We keep saying it to our patients, mostly in therapeutically weighed words, but the meaning is the same: be a glass half full.
From the moment we begin to grow, we are told to smile, to be joyful, that people will be drawn to us more when we carry a happy face. We are nurtured, more or less, into being positive in every way possible – in mood, in attitude, in the way we look, etc. Exude optimism.
How realistic is that? Smile, though your heart is aching, smile even though it’s breaking… Come on… really?
Let’s face it: life is hard.
In my line of work I meet people in need. They became ill in spirit and soul because life handed them too many lemons to make tasty lemonade. In fact, they drown in the sticky juice. They are not shiny happy people. Many struggle (some more, some less) to maintain some sort of standard of living or to simply survive.
Mostly reality comes your way and makes sure you don’t forget that you’re only a player in the theatre of life, and your happy play is in dire need of readjustment. Lovers cheat, your boss is not the nicest person, friends betray you, people you love die, your health fails, an earthquake takes your home, your friend goes to war, you freak out because your self-esteem rushes down to the pit.
Now where, in the name of Chuck, is the shrink heading with this, you might ask, kind readers. It’s simple: Sam and Dean Winchester are not shiny happy people. They are real. And that’s another aspect why I love this show so much.
They are not actors playing a cheerful part; their problems are of a different substance. You see in their faces what price they pay.
Today psychologists agree that positive feelings like contentment, gratitude, hope, courage or inner stability improve our health. People displaying a positive attitude get better jobs, participate in a rich social life, have friends, make friends while people that are often aggrieved, sad or withdrawn tend to lose friends and not succeed in their jobs. Though it’s common knowledge that the latter are more in need of positive moments, because of their attitude (stemming from whatever reason) they most likely won’t experience many.
My favourite quote about optimism comes from Sir Peter Ustinov: ‘An optimist is one who knows exactly how sad the world can be, while a pessimist is one who finds out anew every morning.’ According to this marvelous definition, Sam and Dean are the perfect optimists. They know how sad, hard, agonizing life can be. And they are not afraid to show it.
Of course, they do lie to each other, try to cheer the other up and hide their scared unhappy selves to shield the other from pain, but when it really counts, they are real.
When I look at the show from my first encounter with it, the authenticity of the story and its characters moved me beyond expectation. I am not referring to the paranormal activities (those might or might not be real… ahem), but to the emotional range that came across. Those emotions have been real.
Of course, their lives take place in their own ecological niche. They don’t have to apply for jobs or partake in the dating game to find a mate where you are instructed to stay positive at all times or to not complain in order to not scare the potential job/candidate away. Be yourself, but don’t be negative.
The point is: when you stand at a point in your life where you are being handed lemons, being yourself could mean to be sad, tense, nervous or easily irritable. Just like our Winchesters. Now, would we turn them away? Would we laugh at them for being miserable? Most likely not. Of course, their demeanor would strike us as – I reckon –suspicious at times. But simply because they are authentic and real, we would eventually begin to trust them. Their faces are not botoxed to kingdom come or playing a part all the time, but display their inner turmoil. Gloom is a part of their lives and their emotional state, and yet we love them.
Isn’t that a paradox, really? Living in a society that requests – quite often – that we emanate positivity, no matter how it looks on the inside, we still love two fellas that have been miserable for pretty much six seasons now…
I think the answer to that lies in the gritty authenticity of the show. Supernatural is not escapism, well, not according to the definition in my personal book. For me, when I want to truly escape from every-day-toils, I watch really happy films, like The Court Jester or That Lady in Ermine, you know films that don’t confront me with sadness, loss, or the kind of suffering we’ve found our heroes in.
Watching these lovely Winchester men I notice a certain attitude in them, something in between despair, hope, languor and stubbornness, which moves me tremendously. Because – that’s the kind of spirit that tends to appear when the soul has suffered all it can.
This provides not escapism. It’s an accepted confrontation with issues we have in life. Issues, many of us can relate to and have expressed without hyperbole in countless articles here on our site or in private conversations. Sometimes this show answers questions I didn’t even know I had or points me towards topics I have never explored before, and those are always linked to reality.
It’s a story of humanity, of human flaws and human struggle within the small universes relationships are. In many ways, it’s an allegory to our society and to the way we live, we recognize ourselves watching this show.
I identify in many ways with Sam, because I see a lot of myself in him, and I see a lot in him that I love so much. In other ways I identify with Dean, too, since he represents a different area of the spectrum of human behaviour and spirit.
These men don’t live in a detached mindset of the militant optimist. They do know how devastatingly hard life can be, and theirs is most of the time. They have learned the hard way that it doesn’t work like The Secret or any other New Age books would like to offer. If you have the right beliefs you can manifest anything. Okay, but which belief is the right one?
Don’t get me wrong. I am a strong believer in a positive attitude. But I also know how hard it can be to maintain one. Sam and Dean try to be hopeful, even when life spits in their face. But – they also know that some problems exist, no matter how much hope they manage to have, some things are outside their ability to control, and they have to find ways of dealing with them. Just as we do in our real lives.
They don’t over-blow the muscle of positive thinking. They know that hope alone won’t help, the actions resulting from it are the means that actually bring on change and create an outcome that helps them to survive to fight another day.
Sam and Dean Winchester are no children anymore that could be fooled with ‘it’s gonna be alright, don’t worry.’ Children who don’t know much about reality can be made to believe that everything will be alright. In fact, they need the confidence of the adult to trust that it actually will.
But an adult man who has seen more suffering than anyone should might find it irritating to be told to ‘think positive’. It would be insulting to his intelligence. Sugar coating reality is not helpful. Simply because positive thinking alone will not alter severe problems. More is necessary. Of course, it does help, but realistic thinking will provide less chance of disappointment when positive thinking might be too high a standard to achieve.
When Sam or Dean try to do some sugarcoating for the benefit of the other, it often doesn’t work, because the other can see through the carefully set up lie. And they don’t keep it up long – I think, mostly out of respect for each other. Honesty and trust are fundamental in their relationship, in particular since these elements have been tested so many times, and painfully so.
But, slowly, I think they have learned a crucial fact: things in the past cannot be changed. The realistic approach to the past is: face the truth of it and learn the lessons. Sam and Dean Winchester have begun learning the hard way, and even now, after all that has happened to them, they are still learning.
They try to do whatever they can to make the best of the situation they are thrown into, and sometimes they fail. But they still try to go on, even when the decisions they need to find might be hurtful. That is also a realistic approach to life – to accept that some things are impossible, some, on the other hand, are perfectly possible.
In the beginning, these brothers, and especially Dean, were not ready to accept any impossibility. They were even ready to bring each other back from the dead. But in the course of the show, they have learned to accept that some matters are just not probable, which is a sign for their growth and strength. Because, as I see it, being realistic requires courage. People that force themselves to always look on the bright side, to see everything in a positive light also avoid looking the sometimes uncomfortable truth in the eye, often because they are afraid of what they might find there: their own (possible) incapability to change the situation.
Most important, however, is this: to decide what is called for at a particular moment in life. Sometimes it’s being positive. Sometimes pessimistic, sometimes realistic. All have their place and time. Sometimes being pessimistic can serve as a breather where we are allowed to moan about the cards life has dealt us, and we’ve seen Sam and Dean be that, too.
We all remember Dean devastated at Sam’s death bed, reproaching himself, lamenting over this tragedy. He needed that moment of utter pessimism to gather some strength to finally make up his mind, despite fuelled by despair, to seek out the crossroads demon. We’ve seen them be positive, like in Monster Movie, but to my mind, we’ve mostly seen them being realistic.
They know how hard life is. They are done euphemizing it. They assess potential problems which puts them in a better position to minimize losses. Sometimes they succeed, often they don’t. They learn the hard way, but that’s also a very real approach to how life is.
We do learn the hard way, most of the time. It would have been hard, if not impossible, for the Winchesters to paste on the shiny happy face and think of the positive when their mother was murdered, their dad manipulated into a lethal deal, their childhood destroyed, their friends killed, in short: their world torn apart. But still, they manage to acknowledge that they are lucky in the sense that they have each other and a family of friends they can count on. And to find ways of not giving in, despite their tough moments. So, in the sense of Ustinov’s definition of an optimist, they are the perfect optimists, indeed, in fact realists.
And that also touches me, because I can relate to that. In this long winded argument that found its home in my hellatus brain I stress again how much I love this show and one of the many reasons why. Simply because it is real. Despite its paranormal premises, there are no tacky monsters, no trite characters or hammy actors delving into theatrical histrionics. Supernatural is a drama about real people, and we can identify with them, because – more or less – it’s a show about us. And looking into a mirror is not always comfortable. There are episodes that I have watched only once or twice because they remind me of personal struggles. Others I love to watch repeatedly remind me of my strength. Would any of us be hooked to this show in the manner we are, if this was only a B-movie monster opera? I doubt it.
We love it, because Supernatural explores reality’s philosophical, theological, psychological, existential, moral or political issues in an accessible style. There is the eye candy, of course, the humour and the great visual, dramatic and creative power, but under it all this show addresses matters that matter to us. And that is not easily achieved. Thank you.
You are wonderful to read. As a psychologist myself I tend to analyze these Winchesters also and I so enjoy seeing others do the same in this often difficult world, whether I agree or disagree with the opinions. Thank You.
Hello fellow-psycho 😉 ! I think it comes as a professional hazard… the analyzing of these guys. Sometimes we do it too much, I’m sure.
I’m glad you liked my take on this, thank you. And when we look at how hard it is for scientists of the psychological field to agree, it’s quite easy to disagree… 😉 or to agree…
Thank you so much. Jas
This was a lovely piece of writing Jas, and it summed up exactly why I love this show and the Winchesters too. Thank You.
After a week which started off really bad, then became maniacally busy, tonight I went to a concert in a beautiful Cathedral given by a rock idol, Rick Wakeman. He simply played a magnificent Steinway grand piano and told anecdotes about his life. The acoustics were stunning and the audience were all enthralled. After arriving home and doing a quick check for e mails I just popped in here whilst I drank a hot chocolate and I found this article. I cannot formulate any in depth comments tonight as my brain is numb, rather like a `Gumby`, but all I could think of as I was reading is a you tube clip I discovered earlier this week and it seemed very apt , hope you don`t mind me putting it here,
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6KG3xXYi_s[/youtube]
Thanks again Love Ju
Oh Julie, sweetie, I know. I am glad you are in a better place (heard it in your voice earlier), and don’t worry about being too numb to formulate in-depth comments. We know each other well enough to feel what we would say.
Thank you so much for the clip. Unfortunately, it’s again a conspiracy thing 😡
Love,Jas
Great article Jas. It’s always a treat to look at the boys through your eyes and on your couch…preferably with said boys on said couch.
Found it faintly fitting to find this article here today. Heard a variation on the ‘lemons’ quote just today.
“If life hands you lemons, make orange juice and have everyone wondering how the hell you did it.”
This seems to fit to the theme of what you wrote and the Winchesters. Life handed the brothers a world of pain and hurt and destiny driven expectations. And they made their own future. Pretty gnarly awesome.
Anyway, thanks for the thoughts on positive thinking. A treat to read and digest.
Yvonne, dear, thank you so much for your kind words.
I am happy, indeed, that you enjoy my ramblings. And I love that quote. It seems so very fitting to how I feel today. After a hellish time at a sea of trouble in the last weeks, I’m finally on my way of finding land. And I’m making orange juice 😆
Love, Jas
YES. This is what hooked me to the show: authenticity. I felt that I was dealing with “real” characters, “real” struggles, even if the surroundings were fantastic. That’s why this show so often remind me of “The Lord of the Rings”: another seemingly “escapistic” narrative that in fact deals with “real” struggles of “real” people in “real” life. And your article reminds me so much of another article I read a lot of years ago about Frodo’s heroism: http://www.lightindarkplaces.net/EssayConnie.htm
Ok, we need sometimes the badass heroes, the ones with self-confidence and one-liners ready on their lips. But they are not “real” heroes. They are not US. If Dean had been forever the badass, Han Solo-sque hero that he seemed to be at first, I highly doubt that this show would have me hooked. Because no real person can be like this all the time, forever. But then came episodes like “Faith” and “Home” and “The Benders” and Jensen found eventually his character, found his layers and dephtness. Doubts and fears that until that point seemed to be just for Sam. And I was bounded forever to this show.
Being myself a Roman Catholic (maybe not so faithful, but certainly my beliefs and worldview are strongly based on this faith), I think that the “positive attitude” has more to do with “Hope” and “Faith” than with any inner resource or self-confidence or optimstic vision. Life IS hard. And death inescapable. But no tear is lost, no suffering without meaning and the world will be saved, at last. For me this kind of “positive thinking” is what makes life worth living.
Brynhild, hi, very true! We began looking behind their armour, or, well, they showed it to us – the chinks in the breastplate and helmet…
It’s what attracts me to a story. I like the larger-than-life heroes occasionally. I then watch Wolverine or Excalibur, but well even those heroes are not heroic all the time. Lancelot was flawed, and yet he was the greatest knight of all…
Thank you so much for the link to the Frodo-article. Amazing, really.
I am Catholic, too, also not orthodoxly so, and I hope and believe that one day we will be saved.
Though I am highly critical of the Church, I am always amazed that people still are influenced by words some amazing man said two thousand years ago. Say but one word, and my soul will be healed…
Your comment did truly move me. Thank you. Jas
You’ve hit on an aspect of these characters that I respect, and expressed it well.
There is a lot to be said for downtrodden people who have just enough hope and determination to keep going. Dean, Sam, even Cas, have despaired, and kept fighting all the same.
Thank you, MisterGlass. To keep going even though life hits you hard, again and again, is a trait we need to respect, I guess – since it can serve as an inspiration to us in a time of need, don’t you think?
Thank you, sir, for your kind comment! Cheers, Jas
Dear mlealo, I think it’s irrelevant whether you are a part of the target audience 😆 or not . What you like and what you relate to matters. You like Supernatural and you like Winnie the Pooh. I like Supernatural and I like Disney movies (among others, of course).
Isn’t it wonderful, that we are able – growing older – to simply choose how to look on life and what lessons to take to heart?
Knowing that life is hard (and I do know it) has been helpful to me in many ways. Thank you so much for confirming that with the experience of a woman of your mature age. Let’s grow old with dignity. 😉
Thank you, Jas
Yuri, allow me to welcome you back!
I have never been to the imdb board, but judging from your comment, I’d say it was not the nicest place, eh?
Cheers, Jas
Oh, Yuri, I have no idea how that happened… 🙁
Thank you for this article Jas. Your reasons for loving this show are mine too.
I may have come for the horror and monsters, but have stayed for the realism of the brothers and their extended family. Now the monsters are way down on the list of why I watch this amazing show.
I love them like they were my own, and I am certainly not in the expected demographic. Much too ancient! 😕
But then, older and wiser perhaps? 😛
You know, Bevie, as I am getting older (I’ll be 42 this year), I’ve had my stuggles and fears with what aging means. My body doesn`t operate like a 20-year-old anymore. After being in various tantrums over that, I’ve grown to accept that fact.
I think I’m not the target audience, either. But then again, I don’t want to be. I don’t have to compete with twenty-year-olds. I have grown into a woman, and I hope to become wiser with age. I find I feel much younger, still. Strange paradox. 😮
Isn’t it great that fans of all ages respond to this show? It shows a quality that transcends ‘age-barriers’ (if they do exist), everyone can find something to love about this show. The creators should get an award for that alone.
thank you so much for your comment and your kind words, dear!
Love, Jas
Hi Jas,
Beautiful article. I too love the Winchesters for their realism, for the fact they’re not always “shiny, happy people”. None of us can be that way all the time. In fact, being too shiny and happy sometimes means you’re overlooking a really bad situation that needs to be fixed.
I must admit, I was thinking of your article, and its relationship to my own recently posted one about “Random Unpredictable Evil” as I did my swimming workout this morning. I was thinking about the way evil is often allowed to persist, and grow because no one wants to say anything negative. Action like that goes against the societal instinct of putting on a happy face (something women in particular are told to do.)
I’m dealing with this issue in real life, because I’m navigating the rough waters of bullying behaviour in children.
My daughter had the courage to tell me about something that was happening. I told the people in charge. Now, they’re addressing the problem.
We’re fortunate that the key players in the bullying problem decided not to adopt the “shiny, happy people” mentality. When I raised my concerns, they could have “tsked tsked”, said a few consoling words, patted me on the back and then sent me on my way, and done absolutely nothing. Thankfully for us, they heard what was being said, and are taking real action. I’m hopeful the situation will improve.
The truth of the matter is that none of us like to be in socially uncomfortable situations. Most of us will do whatever we can to avoid conflict. Put on a fake grin… Suck up the pain and the insult… Say everything’s fine, even when it’s clearly not.
But it is exactly that kind of behaviour that allows bullying to continue. The bullying that leaves a little girl in tears, or that rips a country apart through the evil of genocide.
Change only happens when you’re willing to see there’s a problem, and take action. We love the Winchesters because they look at what’s really in front of them. They’re willing to admit there are nasties out there, which need to be dealt with.
We might ultimately end up in a more peaceful, more content world, if, once in awhile we were allowed to say…
“Life gave me lemons, so I’m going to make a sour face.. And figure out how to get rid of the damn lemon tree!”
But, channelling Dean for a moment, he’d probably ask if you could make him a lemon meringue pie first!
Thanks for listening.
Feel free to vent any time, Pragmatic Dreamer. I know how necessary that is at times.
I think it was the Irish Edmund Burke who once said “It is necessary only for the good man to do nothing for evil to triumph”.
There have always been nasty people, bullies, tormentors. And they always will exist. There’s nothing to do about that, and well, since I believe in the duality of life, there has to be evil, if good exists, too.
But – we have to do something about it. Some people are afraid to show civil or moral courage, but there are (thank Heavens) also those who are not. Those who don’t look away and pretend it’s all okay.
I hope there will be a good solution to the problem your kid faces. It has grown into a massive one these days, at our schools here we find the same problems. Kids blackmailing other kids, threatening them, demanding money or other stuff so they wouldn’t beat them up, etc.
I stil need to read that article of yours. I didn’t find time to do so earlier.
Thank you! Jas
Sorry, I checked the logs and the comments master, there’s no record of those comments ever existing. So, there’s nothing for me to restore.
Amen to that, Yuri. Our policy (if you like) is simply to be respectful and tolerant, and, well – kind. I think it’s most important.
We’ve had our disappointments and angry emotions, but mostly it stayed in respectful terms. Those that loved to bring the kind of climate you found on other sites here, luckily seem to stay away.
Hi Rince1wind, thank you so much for your thoughtful comment!
I can only agree – and go and watch the Court Jester 😆 . There’s a guarantee for a warm, smiling feeling that lingers…
Thanks again! Jas
Ah, dear CalifornianLeslie, might it be that you sell yourself short? 😉
So far I have [i]always [/i] understood what you wanted to say, and you say it with heart and warmth. So, don’t be afraid to venture into your (existing) gift for words.
Love,Jas
Oh, Dany, I love that quote! I need to keep that in mind 😆
Thank you so much for your sweet comment, dearie! Love always, Jas
Amen and amen, Jas. Wonderfully said. The “humanness” of this show is definitely the one main thing that brings us back week after week. I’m struggling through some of my own personal demons right now, which are similar in a lot of ways to Dean’s demons, and watching him struggling to overcome always give me hope and strength.
Dean and Sam do always try to make the best of the situation(s) they find themselves in and when they get greeted with a curve ball they try their best to come up with another solution. I love that about them, they innately never truly give up, although both have had their moments where they almost did, they continue to portray that life is worth living and going through the struggles, facing your demons, whether it be supernatural or personal, is worth it to keep fighting. That is the wonder and beauty of this show and why I love it so much.
It also makes me think about so many out there that have given up on the show. I have seen so many comments in other places where some said they just don’t watch it anymore for one reason or another, and I think to myself, did they truly get the premise of this show and understand deep down what it is about? Or did the funny stop happening, or was it making them look too closely into their own lives and made them uncomfortable, so they subconsciously stopped watching? Not sure, but I will love this show to the last second and always love Dean and Sam to their cores.
Thank you, Evelyn, for your personal and moving comment.
I am sorry to hear that you have to struggle with your own demons these days. And – on the other hand – glad to hear that you find inspiration with the show, and strength to go on. Anyone who has been through tough times (me included) knows how essential that is – finding inspiration, strength and wisdom to go on.
I guess people give up on this show for various reasons, and some were listed by you. It saddens me that some fans, at first enthusiastic, lost their love for the show. But, well, there are still some who love the show. Like you, like me, like the many others that come visiting here… So, let’s enjoy our favourite show.
Thank you. 🙂 , Jas
Gloom, despair and agony on me
Deep, dark depression, excessive misery
If it weren’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all
Gloom, despair and agony on me.
Hi Jasminka
This song was sang on the Variety Show ‘Hee Haw’ back in the 70’s and 80’s. Although it was used as part of a comedy skit every week, I found these words to have rang so true at certain times of my life. Which I’m sure I’m not alone in relating to them.
Who hasn’t felt that there is a perpetual black cloud hanging over their heads?
Who hasn’t felt like giving up and spouting the words “Oh Chuck take me now�
Or have asked the proverbial “Why?â€
I guess for me it’s never really been so much in positive thinking that has helped survive those bad times, but more because I had a Reason to keep going. Mine was my daughter.
I, so much like Dean just couldn’t let her down. If I gave up, I’d be giving up on her and I just couldn’t do that.
Like you and the others have stated, I can relate so well to Sam and Dean. I love that no matter how bad things get, no matter how much they have fallen into despair, they have managed to crawl there way out. That they have managed to find their purpose and their reason to keep fighting.
Thanks Jas this was a wonderful article.
Karen, dear, never heard that song… but it sounds so fitting, indeed.
I understand so well what you say. I have experienced the kind of darkness that can envelop you when that black cloud descends, and it’s never easy to handle. We need to find our strength, and often that lies within our love for someone, like your daughter. For me, it was my family, and now that they are gone, it’s my friends.
Plus: giving up is not an option. I would feel like a coward if I did. Well, what does not kill me, makes me stronger. Nietzsche was right on this one.
Thank you so much for your comment.
Love, Jas
I don´t know if you are familiar with Eckhard von Hirschhausen, he sad he once pittied a pinguine he saw walking around in a zoo. It could´t walk verry well, it´couldn´t fly so God must have been mean to this poor animal. But then he saw the pinguine in and under water and he realised that the pinuine was now were it belonged. No therapy could have helped him, no positiv thinking could make him fly. But he was fine the way he was, his surroundings had to change not he.
Oh, Junkerin, of course I know doctor happiness…. I have read some of his work, but this story about the penguin is knew to me. Thank you so much for pointing that out.
It’s a wonderful parable. I’m sure I’ll use it in therapy occasionally. Can you tell me which book it is from?
Thank you for your comment and for reading this article, cheers, Jas
I saw it on TV her is a Youtube link where you can find it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Az7lJfNiSAs
Have fun with the: Pinguin Prinzip
Sorry it´s in german
I’ve hit some pretty low points in my life. Places where the ability to think of anything positive was completely absent. But I truly believe spending time in that pessimistic state was helpful, because now I can appreciate the times when life is good, and I can(mostly)have a positive attitude. I guess I’m saying there are just times in life when ‘wallowing’ is beneficial (so long as it doesn’t last too long).
When I see Sam and Dean continuing to fight when everything seems hopeless it reminds me of those times when things were like that for me. Battling through and coming out the end battered, and bruised, but also wiser,and stronger.
Thanks for this article. I know I haven’t expressed myself very well. I hope you understand what I’ve tried to say
Jillyanne, don’t worry, I did understand well what you meant to say.
You know, from personal experience I do know how hard life can be. I’ve had many years of struggle, and it returns in this manner every once in a while.
Though I have a positive attitude most of the time, there are days (sometimes weeks) when I can’t find it. But I know that underneath the pain it is there, and it will re-surface.
The occasional moaning, or “wallowing”, as you call it, can serve as a breather, indeed. A break from fighting and struggling to collect one’s strength and say out loud (or silently in one’s mind) how miserable we feel once in a while.
That, too, is authentic. It’s real. And, yes, what doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger. I know this to be true. And, so it seems, you know it, too.
Take care and thank you for your personal comment! Jas
Yuri, I’m appalled by the thought that you might have experienced the attitude of “professionals” – expecting you “to be happy or show some sort of positive improvement just because some suggested activities, measures to take or medication”. (it sounds as if you experienced it, but if I misread this, I apologize)
A professional (as in psychiatrist, psychotherapist) who knows their craft would never expect you to put on a happy face.
Simply because it’s not about their success as a therapist, it’s about the patient. It’s essential to meet the patient where he stands and not to “force” an attitude on him that would not be real.
But then again – professionals with his morale of work often think too much about themselves, and not about the patient. Unfortunately, there are some of them out there!
It’s the patient who gives the professional the “assignment”, the patient tells the professional what he wants to achieve in therapy. Not the other way around. Sorry, if I’m venting here a bit. I despise that so much, it can cause a lot of damage… I’ve had to clean it up too often.
Thank for another wonderful piece Jas.
The psycholigy part of the characters are so well thought through. It keeps amazing me all the time. And makes me appreciate the writers of SPN so much more. And when I am talking about the characters I not only talk about Dean and Sam but the others as well like Bobby, the Harvells, Lisa and Ben, do I need to go on? All of them have gotten their lemons somewhere during the past seasons and sometimes they were able to make orange juice out of it (I love that Yvonne) and sometimes they weren’t. Just like in real life. No one is getting spared of a bad experience and sometimes we are able to handle things and sometimes we are not. Well, I don’t know if explained that understandibly. But, hey, it is one of the many reasons to watch and love our show.
Thank you, Yirabah, for your kind comment! It’s indeed amazing how the writers manage to keep the psychological continuity – for me, as a ‘professional’, this is immensely important. If I began to not be able to believe the journey of the characters anymore, I wouldn’t be hooked to this show…
Thank you! 😆 Jas
Hi Leslie92708
You are welcome, it just seemed to fit the sentiment here perfectly Ju
mlealo,
I am so pleased you enjoyed the video. As you say it does have a beautiful lyric, and resonates especially, I am sure, with anyone who has suffered a loss in their life. I lost my Mum a couple of years ago and have friends who suffered a loss at the same time, I shared this with them too and they were touched by it in the same way I was . I am a huge believer in the healing power of music, I have experienced it at first hand.
My thoughts are with your family, I can imagine this will be a tough time for you all, but it sounds like you are lucky to be very close and supportive, I hope things soon improve for your grandaughter
Love Ju