This wonderful Halloween story first appeared on The WFB on October 26, 2010.
It’s such a gem,
we thought we’d offer it to you again!
It was the morning of October thirty first.
In a town that is rumoured to be cursed.
It seems that every Halloween it becomes haunted
By vampires, zombies and anything unwanted.
This town in question is known as Springfield
Where some of the stories have been revealed.
And with these tales it sparked some attention
By two brothers who specialize in prevention.
Sam and Dean Winchester are their true identities
They are professional hunters of supernatural entities.
Since they were in the area they came to check it out,
To put to rest the rumours and to clear any doubt.
To get a feel of the town, they drove around at first
Then decided to meet the locals and quench their thirst.
So they went to Moe’s, the local tavern in town.
Where it was dark, dumpy and should be closed down.
At the sight of the bartender, Dean reached for his gun
But Sam was able to stop him before the shooting begun.
“He’s human, Dean!” Sam whispered to avoid a scene.
“Are you sure?” was asked by a unconvinced Dean.
With a roll of his eyes, Sam led Dean to the bar.
Where they sat next to four guys, who were regulars by far.
Sam ordered two pints of the Duff that was on tap.
And to their surprise the beer didn’t taste like crap.
The bartender introduced himself as Moe the owner.
And his regulars Barney, Lenny, Carl and Homer
“And this is Sam Tufnel and I’m Dean St. Hubbins.”
Informing they were writing a book on Urban Legends.
Moe looked at them strangely and asked if they had met before
As their names were very familiar, he could of swore.
Dean shook his head “No, I would of remembered you.”
“Ah, thank-you” blushed Moe taking a different view.
“So Urban Legends you say? Is that why you’re here?”
Asked by Carl who then took a swig of his beer.
Sam replied “Yes, we figure every town has their own.”
“You know, ghost stories or tales of the unknown.”
“You mean Ghost and Witches?” Lenny asked.
“And Vampires?” asked Barney quite aghast.
“Vampires are make-believe,” Homer disclosed
“Just like elves, gremlins and Eskimos.”
Sam and Dean glanced at each, holding back a smile.
Then ordered another round as they decided to stay awhile.
It was then that Chief Wiggums came in asking about the car.
Wanting to know who was the owner and who they are.
Sam introduced themselves and why they were there.
Wiggums then realized he had a story he could share.
During a car chase “Oh my god! It just disappeared!”
“It was a ghost car!” he stated, something he still feared.
Sam and Dean just nodded, wondering if they should mention
Maybe the car lights were turned off to avoid apprehension.
After Wiggum’s story, the rest started to tell more,
But they weren’t really what they were looking for.
During this time Moe received a telephone call
Which had him scan the bar and call out to them all.
“Phone call for Al Coholic. Is there an Al Coholic here?”
Causing everyone to laugh and raise their beer.
It wasn’t long before the guys decided to take their leave
For there was nothing in the stories for them to retrieve.
Homer, liking these guys, offered them a dinner invite
Since it was Halloween and pork chop night.
So they took Homer home, due to his inebriated state,
And as they got to the door, came words hard to translate.
“Hidely-ho neirbourino, who’r your strap-i-didely friends?”
“Get lost Flanders!” yelled Homer not caring if he offends.
“Okaley Dokely!” Flanders said as he waved good-bye.
Dean turned to Sam “There’s something wrong with that guy.”
Once inside, Homer announced he had brought home guests.
“In here” called his wife Marge, far from impressed.
As they entered the dinning room she changed her disposition.
These guys were so gorgeous, they were beyond description.
Their daughter Lisa was all giddy and couldn’t help but admire.
Even baby Maggie’s mouth fell open, dropping her pacifier.
The guys also found themselves a little transfixed
With Marge’s three foot blue beehive, making her eight foot six.
And how quickly she had them sitting with a plate full of food
While putting a stop to Bart’s antics, the son of this brood.
After dinner Sam was saying his thanks and good-byes,
While Dean was on the phone, with his voice in disguise.
Asking for “Oliver’s Clothes”, with Bart rooting him on,
Then listening to Moe calling out and the laughter thereon.
Sam and Dean then stepped out into the darkened street,
As well as Bart and Lisa, who had gone to trick or treat.
Clouds started rolling in and covering the full moon
Making the brothers uneasy with a feeling of doom.
With this sudden unease they decided to drive around,
Just to make sure everything was safe and sound.
Their fears were proven when they came upon a site
At the cemetery where the residents were rising into the night.
They quickly got out and went to the trunk of the car,
Gathering weaponry to stop them from getting too far.
While some started to approach them, others had fled.
All the brothers could do was start shooting for the head.
They drove back to the town, once they were done,
Only to find so many Zombies, it would take a machine gun.
And as if things weren’t bad enough in this town,
Sam was being approached by a Zombie Clown.
“Hey! Hey! Hey! I’m Krusty” he started to say,
But before he could finish, Sam blew him away.
“Why did it have to be a clown?” Dean joked with a smirk.
Sam looked at Dean all bitch faced and called him a jerk.
After killing the Zombies in their sight, they decided to go,
And head back to the Simpsons’ with their weapons in tow.
They both burst into the house, relieved to find them all there.
All frightened and hiding behind the couch and chair.
“Zombies!” informed Sam holding them back against the door.
“AAAHHH!” screamed Homer ducking behind the chair once more.
“We’ve got to go!” yelled Dean, leading them out the back.
And giving Homer a rifle to help in any further attack.
“Hey Simpson. I’m feeling a might peckish. Mind if I chew your ear?”
Homer immediately shot Flanders without a thought or fear.
“Dad! You killed the zombie Flanders!” said Bart full of pride.
“He was a zombie?” asked Homer unaware he was justified.
A concerned Sam asked Dean if Homer should have a gun.
“Believe me Dude, with this guy, it needed to be done.”
They managed to get around front and got into Dean’s car,
And headed out of town, just to go anywhere far.
But as fate would have it, the Impala ran out of gas
In front of The Burns’ mansion, who was of the upper class.
“He’s a rich old miser” said Bart “and mean as hell.”
But with no other choice they went and rang his doorbell.
“Welcome! Please come in,” a voice over the speaker had said
“ah, fresh victims for my ever growing army of the undead”
“Sir, you have to let go of the button” another voice did interject.
“Oh son of a…” replied the first voice who was obviously inept.
The door was opened by Smithers, who was Burns’ loyal assistant.
They were to join them for cocktails, as he was very insistent.
Burns greeted them as they entered into the large parlour room,
Dressed in what looked like a Coppola’s Dracula costume.
Marge noted that there was something off about him.
“Yeah, his hairdo is so queer.” Homer said on a whim.
“I heard that!” stated Burns who was far from amused.
“It was the boy!” said Homer, he so quickly accused.
Burns then offered them all glass of red wine.
But Dean told him they would all have to decline.
“I know what you are.” said Dean as he backed away.
While Sam grabbed two swords from the wall display
“What’s that, you slack-jawed troglodyte?” Burns did inquire.
Dean took a sword from Sam and stated “You’re a vampire.”
“A vampire! gasped Marge “Don’t you need wooden stakes?”
“No!” replied Dean “Cutting off their heads is what it takes.”
“Cool!” said Bart, as Marge demanded they leave this place behind.
“But it’s a man’s dream to see their boss die!” Homer whined.
Burns looked at Smithers confused “He’s an employee?”
“Yes, Mr. Burns. He’s Homer Simpson from Sector 7 G.”
“Ok” said a pissed off Dean. “I’ve had enough of this crap.”
Next thing, Smithers was cradling Burns’ head in his lap.
Sam and Dean then went outside to meet up with everyone.
Suddenly, there was a bright light, but it wasn’t the sun.
“It looks like a space ship.” said Sam “But I can’t really tell.”
Dean just stared “I think we’re in The Twilight Zone from Hell.”
Then a beam of light came, carrying each one up through a door.
However, they needed two beams for Sam and Homer needed four.
As they all found themselves in a room, just staring at each other.
“See, I am Mulder and you’re Scully” Dean whispered to his brother.
It was then two aliens approached, both with just one large eye
Looking like a huge green octopus that drooled an endless supply.
“Greetings earthlings. My name is Kang,” said one with a toothy grin.
“And this is my sister Kodos”. “Hello! she said very masculine.
“We’re from Rigel VII and we monitor your planet.” Kang informed.
They had been watching for a millennium and how it has formed.
“So what is it you want?” asked Dean “Why are we here?”
“To meet you” Said Kang “You two are something to revere.”
“Excuse me?” asked Dean not understanding what was implied.
“We were impressed by your resourcefulness.” Kodos replied
“You were watching us?” asked Lisa, a little confused.
“Yes, since we initiated the events.” Kang replied enthused.
“You caused all this?” gasped Marge quite annoyed.
“It’s the highlight of our year!” Kang said overjoyed.
Kang explained that Halloween was the perfect tradition
Where humans expected to see monsters or an apparition.
So to manipulate the town and events was easily done.
Plus it made the days’ monitoring a more entertaining one.
“Entertaining?” asked Sam “What about the people who died?”
“Don’t fret, they will be restored unharmed” Kodos did confide.
“Including Flanders and Burns?” Homer had inquired.
As he didn’t want them to remember what had transpired.
“Of course they will have no memory of it.” Kang did advise.
As Homer cheered, Dean noted “Including us! I would surmise.”
“It is unfortunate, but our existence must not be exposed.”
“So yes, your memory will be modified.” Kang had disclosed.
By morning light they were all back at the Simpsons’ abode,
Saying thanks and good-bye, as it was time to hit the road.
Sam noted it was nice watching horror flicks and drinking beer.
Dean agreed. “Maybe we will visit them again next year.”
They then drove out of town unaware they were on display
By Kang and Kodos, satisfied their plan had gone their way.
“Intriguing earthlings, I’m so pleased we lured them in”
“And that we have them wanting to return” Kang said with a grin.
To all the Supernatural and Simpsons fans I do dedicate.
And wish a Happy Halloween! To all those who celebrate.
I hope I did both shows justice and didn’t offend anyone.
As my intentions were good and only to have a little fun.
Enjoy more Supernatural poetry or peruse Karen’s many Supernatural holiday stories, games and favorite gems!