Robin’s Rambles – “The Third Man”

A hooker, Sam? Really? You should NEVER need to pay any woman to have sex with you! NEVER! Except for the anonymity, I guess, but even the hookers want to give you freebies, you’re that GOOD!

–Robin’s Rambles by Robin Vogel
  

In a police station, a cop washing his face finds it coming off in pieces. He steps away from the sink to find his footsteps are bloody, and we see the back of his white t-shirt is a growing ink blot of blood, too. He turns to his horrified partner and says, “I think I’m bleeding,” then falls at the guy’s feet, a mass of gore, crimson spray and uniform pants. (Leave it to Ben Edlund to bring back … read more In a police station, a cop washing his face finds it coming off in pieces. He steps away from the sink to find his footsteps are bloody, and we see the back of his white t-shirt is a growing ink blot of blood, too. He turns to his horrified partner and says, “I think I’m bleeding,” then falls at the guy’s feet, a mass of gore, crimson spray and uniform pants. (Leave it to Ben Edlund to bring back disgusting and gross scenes to the show. Kinda missed ’em.)
 
Dean sleeps beside Lisa and awakens for some sweet lovemaking which is interrupted by the sound of a heartbeat–and the noise of passing trucks, as it’s a pleasant dream he’s having and rudely awakened from, since he’s sleeping in the Impala on the side of the road.

There is a delightful montage of a sweaty, shirtless Sam doing push-ups and sit-ups in a motel while Dean does stretches in the open air, then drives off in the Impala. Sam does pull-ups in the closet until a luscious brunette exits the bathroom, watches him, and says, “Don’t stop on my account.” “I’m done,” he says abruptly. “Last night was a high point, if you don’t mind me saying,” she compliments him. “Good,” he says, not smiling. She says she can tell he wants to start his day, but notes he didn’t say where he was going. “Damn, you know how to play that mystery card,” she says, and turns to leave. Sam clears his throat and pulls a wad of cash from his pocket. “I almost forgot,” she says, taking it from him. She hands him her card and adds, with a shrug, “Next time, you can call me on my night off.” (A hooker, Sam? Really? You should NEVER need to pay any woman to have sex with you! NEVER! Except for the anonymity, I guess, but even the hookers want to give you freebies, you’re that GOOD!) Okay they say to each other, and she leaves. Sam’s phone rings. He balls up her card and tosses it in the garbage. It’s Dean, grabbing burgers, and Sam tells him not to meet him at the Campbell compound, but a town called Easter PA, where Sam’s caught a case. “It’s been a day and a half!” notes Dean. “I like to work,” says Sam. “Apparently,” says Dean. “Glad we hashed that out,” says Sam, “call me when you roll into town.” (I must say, all these shirtless Sam scenes are very nice in this ep, and the exercising shirtless Sam scenes even hotter. Ahem, on with the show.) “Who died and made you boss?” Dean asks his cell phone after Sam hangs up, grabbing his burgers and climbing into the Impala.

A cop sits at the side of the road, out of sight, allowing speeders to pass right by. “You can do better than that,” he says to someone clocking 70 on his radar, and pours vodka into his soda. When his phone rings, he answers, annoyed. “He’s dead, right? I don’t wanna talk about it. We do what we do, we go to work, we go to the funeral. Calm down, this is nothin’ to do with you and me. You’re just workin’ yourself up, don’t call me. . .idiot!” He hangs up. Something suddenly attacks him, causing his face to explode in huge, ugly boils. It happens so fast, inside and out, that his throat is compromised, closing his windpipe, and he is barely able to call Dispatch for help before he he throttled to death in his own patrol car.

Dean pulls up behind Sam at the police station. On the phone with Ben, he says, “I know you’re lyin’. How? Because I lie professionally, that’s how. Now tell your mom you broke the damn thing and take it like a man. Okay? Okay.” “Wow,” says Sam, “you, molding the minds of tomorrow, who knew?” “Yeah, tell me about it,” says Dean. Sam asks how Lisa took it when Dean bailed. Shockingly cool, says Dean. “Better for everybody,” opines Sam, which surprises Dean. “I suppose,” says Dean, “still driving the plastic piece of crap, huh?” “What’s your mileage again?” asks Sam. “Shut up,” orders Dean. Dean looks over the file his brother handed him. Sam tells him about Officer Joe Hatch, 17-year-veteran, found dead in his patrol car two days ago. “Someone was over-hydrating,” comments Dean. “Yeah,” says Sam, “he liquefied–meat, bone, tissues, and just turned to blood.” But they’re here to look at Officer Toby Gray, just brought in, found him in his patrol car at a speed trap on the outside of town. They open a drawer containing the dead man we saw letting speeders pass by. “Extreme allergic reaction,” reads Dean. “Boils, covered from head to toe,” says Sam. Including his airway, notes Dean, “this starting to look a little witchy to you?” At first, says Sam, but he found zero evidence of hex-work anywhere. “Gotta be some link between skidmark and bubblewrap here,” says Dean–“could I get a witness?” “Officer Ed Kolfax, supplies Sam, “saw Hatch, his partner, go from solid to liquid.”

Dean just has to show Sam that the Impala can drive faster than the Charger, and pulls out ahead of him. “Were you racing me?” asks Sam, noting Dean’s grinning face. “No, just kickin’ your ass,” says Dean. “Very mature,” says Sam. Ed turns out to be belligerent; he tells them what happened to his partner is nobody’s business: “DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT!” He slams the door in their faces. (And he believes they’re the feds!) Sam kicks down the door. “Dude!” says Dean, surprised, but follows him in, noting the scratched-out photos of dead cops as he passes them. Kolfax is at the desk scratching out his OWN photo. The brothers ask him if he’s all right, and Kolfax, sounding distinctly New Jersyian, responds, “Don’t worry about it!” “Riiight!” answers Dean in kind, and explains they think his partner died of unnatural causes–“Did he have any enemies that you know of?” “You might say that,” answers Ed, scratching at his cop’s hat. “Who’s that?” asks Sam. They both had it comin’,” says Ed, pouring himself a glass of booze, “me, too, I’ll be the next to go, and then it’ll be over, and God will be satisfied.” He drinks his booze. “Why does God want you all dead?” queries Dean. “’cause of Christopher Birch,” answers Kolfax, knocking over the booze, oh, dammit!” Asked who that is, Kolfax says, “He has no face,” sadly watching the liquor pour on the floor. “Ed,” asks Sam. “Officer, you all right?” asks Dean. Ed lifts up the bottle. Sam asks again, “Who is Christopher Birch, Ed? Ed?” “Christopher Birch is a kid with no face,” repeats Ed. Blood runs down the left side of his face. Dean points it out: “You’ve got a little somethin’. . .” Ed touches it. “Damn, my head’s been itchin’ like a dirty jock,” he says. He falls face down on the desk, more blood flowing. “Ed,” says Sam, moving around to the other side of his desk to take his pulse. “Dead.” “Do you hear that?” asks Dean, referring to a rustling sound under Ed’s hat. Sam removes it. Huge locusts are poring out of a giant, bloody hole they have eaten through Ed’s skull. Dean gulps down an urge to hurl.

Hotel – “Sweet–blood, boils, locusts,” says Dean, gazing through printouts from the computer. “Three of your more popular Egyptian plagues,” says Sam. “Yeah, but these guys,” says Dean, holding up a jar with the live locusts inside, “ate their way out of a cop’s melon–I don’t quite remember that in the King James.” “Meanwhile, says Sam, a kid named Christopher Birch was shot in the head last month after a vehicle pursuit. Hatch, Gray and Kolfax were the three officers involved, and they all filed the same police report.” Dean reads from the report: “‘Suspect exited vehicle brandishing a firearm; we were forced to fire.’ Just a kid with no face and a planted gun–bunch of dicks,” says Dean–“so they popped the kid, planted the piece.” “Maybe Kolfax was right,” says Sam, “maybe heaven has a hate-on for bad cops.” “So we’re listening to the guy with the bug in his custard,” says Dean, “that’s the theory you want to go with?” “Angels gotta have something to do, right, now that we’re post-apocalypse?” asks Sam. Dean opens a beer. “Maybe,” Dean says–“you should call Cas. (No beer for Sam?) Sam reminds him how often he TRIED to call Cas, without success, ever since he was sprung from the pit–“First, second and third thing I did–sonofabtch won’t answer the phone.” Dean decides to give it a shot: “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray to Castiel to get his feathery ass down here.” “You’re an idiot,” says Sam. “Stay positive,” urges Dean. “I am positive,” says Sam. “Come on, Cas, don’t be a dick,” says Dean, “got ourselves a plague-like situation down here and do you copy?” Dean looks around with one eye open. Nothing. “Like I said, sonofabitch,” says Sam, “doesn’t answer.” The look on Dean’s face makes Sam realize, “He’s right behind me, isn’t he?” Sam turns around. There’s cas! “Hello,” the angel says. Sam is angry. Dean is smug. 
 
Cas moves from standing beside Sam’s wrecked car to joining the brothers in the hotel room. “He’s gone,” he reports to them. “Who was that guy?” demands Sam. “A solider of Raphael,” says Cas, searching the cabinets, “he must have followed me when I answered your call.” “Raphael, the Archangel?” repeats Sam, “I’m sorry, what’s goin’ on here?” Cas, searching busily, offers to explain later, but Dean insists on “NOW. STOP. “Too many angels, Cas. I dunno who’s on first, what’s on second.” “What IS second?” asks Cas. “Don’t start that,” says Dean. “Raphael and his followers want HIM to rule heaven,” says Cas, “I and many others, the last thing we want is to let him take over–it would be catastrophic.” “You’re talkin’ civil war,” realizes Sam. “Technically, yes,” agrees Cas, “which is why we have to find Balthazar and his weapons before Raphael does–who has the weapons wins the war.” Cas pulls Sam’s bag of weapons out from under the bed. “Help yourself,” says Sam. Cas takes out the flask of holy water. “What happens if Raphael wins?” asks Dean, “what does he want?” “What he’s always wanted,” says Cas, “to end the story the way it was written. “You mean the apocalypse,” says Dean, “the one we derailed?” “Yes,” answers Cas, still digging through Sam’s weapons, “that one, Raphael wants to put it back on the rails.” Sam and Dean are quite displeased. “WHY?” asks Dean. “I need myrrh,” declares Cas. “Myrrh?” repeats Sam. “Freakin’ angels–why does Raphael want to bring back all this crap?” demands Dean. Cas starts drawing in chalk on the table. “He’s a traditionalist,” answers Cas. “Why didn’t you tell us this?” asks Dean. “I was ashamed,” says Cas, shaking his head, “I expected more from my brothers. . .I’m sorry.” He grabs Dean’s hand and says, “I’ll need your blood.” He cuts Dean’s palm, hurting him. “Why didn’t you use your own?” asks Dean angrily. “It wouldn’t work,I’m not human,” says Cas, dripping Dean’s blood into a bowl and adding three stones, then some holy water, reciting something in another language while doing so. It begins to smoke. “Cas, how long does the spell take?” asks Sam. “Got him! Let’s go,” says Cas. “What about him?” asks Dean, pointing to Aaron asleep on the bed. Hearing sirens, Cas asks, “Don’t you think the police will take him home?” Sam smiles, Dean looks uncertain.

Standing in front of a building, Dean says, “I was expecting more Dr. No, less Liberace.” Cas enters the building and encounters a very noisy frog sitting on a railing. Cas goes upstairs and enters a room in which stands a baby grand piano. Music with a distinct beat is playing and red, blue and yellow lights alternately flash. The door locks. The angel-killing knife appears in Cas’ hand. “Cas! You’re here!” says a man holding a glass in his hand. “Balthazar,” says Cas. “So good to see you,” says his old friend, smiling, “he told me you were floating around.” “He?” asks Cas, noting a dead angel on the floor. “I believe you two have flown together?” says Balthazar, flicking on the lights, “you know the old frog in the throat?” The dead angel’s mouth opens and a frog crawls out. “I know that’s a bad joke,” says Cas–“I grieved your death.” “I’m sorry about that,” says Balthazar,” I wanted them to think, you know, so they wouldn’t come looking for me.” “What is all this?” asks Cas–“what are you doing?” “Whatever I want,” answers Balthazar, “this morning, I had a menage a–what’s French for twelve?” “You stole the Staff of Moses?” asks Cas. “Sure,” says Balthazar, “I stole a lot of things.” “You are a great and honorable soldier,” says Cas, “we fought together!” (Cas clearly has a hard time changing his beliefs about angels, even those who have obviously GONE BAD!) “Too many times to count,” says Balthazar drearily. “I know you,” says Cas, “you’re not some common thief.” “Common–no, thief–eh,” says Balthazar.” Cas explains that he needs his help. Balthazar knows, and as far as he’s concerned, between them, nothing has changed–“We’re brothers, and of course I want to help you.” Cas is grateful–“I need the weapons.” “Don’t ask THAT,” insists Balthazar. “Why take them, why run away?” asks Cas. “Because I COULD,” says the other angel, “WHAT?–you’re the one who made it possible–the footsteps I’m following are yours–what you DID, stopping the Big Plan, the Prize Fight–you did more than rebel–you tore up the whole script and burned the pages for ALL of us!–it’s a new era–no rules–no destiny, just complete and utter freedom!” “And this is what you do with it?” demands Cas. “Hey, it’s great, right?” asks Balthazar, “I mean, Dad’s not coming back, right? You might as well blow coke and jump on the bed. You proved to me that we could do anything, so I’m trying EVERYTHING. What difference does it make?” “OF COURSE IT MAKES A DIFFERENCE!” cries Cas–IT’S CIVIL WAR UP THERE!” “I know,” says Balthazar. “If we can beat Raphael, we can end this,” says Cas, “just give me the weapons.” Laughing, Balthazar says, “Do you know what’s funny about you? You actually believe that you can stop the fighting. It. Will. Never. Stop. My advice–grab something valuable and fake your own death.” Shaking his head, Cas says, “You’ve gone insane. Your little holiday is over, Raphael knows you’re alive by now.” “Raphael can try me anytime,” says Balthazar, “I’m armed. I’m sorry, Cas, all else aside, I’m really, really happy to see you, even though you still have that stick up your ass.” Thunder fills the room. “Was that you?” asks Balthazar. Cas shakes his head. “That’s my cue then,” says the other angel, “tell Raphael to bite me.” Balthazar snaps his fingers and disappears in a flash of red, blue and yellow lights and thunder. Outside, three angels stand, watching this activity through the windows. 
 
“Watch them,” Raphael warns the angel to his right, “they’re all snakes.” Sam comes face to face with one of Raph’s two minions. “Yeah, I got one of those, too,” says Sam, showing him his angel-killing knife. “You think you can knife-fight an angel,” demands Raph’s second minion, showing up in a flash, his knife at Sam’s throat. “Who’s fighting?” demands Dean– “peace out, douche-wad.” He presses his hand against the angel-dispelling sigil, sending both angels elsewhere. Another angel shows up in a blast of thunder and lightning over the dead body of the angel where Cas is waiting. Cas protests, “You’re making a mistake–please, there is another way.” When the angel advances on him, Cas says, “Brother, I don’t want to hurt you.” His hand forced, Cas tosses the AKK into the angel’s chest, killing him. “Why won’t any of you listen?” Cas asks despairingly. Raphael appears, taking Cas firmly by his lapels. “They won’t listen, Castiel,” he says, “because their hearts are mine.” He shoves him through double doors, sending him on his butt. Before Cas can struggle to his feet, Raphael kicks him, then lifts him up and punches him, first in the face, then in the stomach. He kicks him halfway down the stairs, then the rest of the way, and it’s a damn long staircase. When Cas rises to his feet at the bottom, Raphael slams him back down. AKK in his hand, Raph says, “Somehow, I don’t think God will be bringing you back this time.” He raises the sword for the killing blow. Behind him, Balthazar yells, “HEY! Look at my junk!” He holds up something that glows and makes Raph say “NO!” in a scared voice. Raphael turns to something else and begins to fall apart, face, hands, feet. “Same thing happened to Lot’s wife,” chuckles Balthazar, “iodize the poor sucker and your kitchen is stocked for life!” “You came back,” says Cas, lip bleeding. “Raphael will have to go shopping for a new vessel,” says Balthazar, “should give you a nice, long head-start on him. Till next time.” “Next time,” says Cas. “No time like the present,” says Dean, flicking a lighter–and surrounding the angel in “Holy fire!” says Balthazar, “You hairless ape!–release me!” “First you’re takin’ your marker offa Aaron Birch’s soul,” demands Dean. “Am I?” says Balthazar belligerently. “SAM!” says Dean. “Unless you like your wings extra-crispy,” says Sam, uncorking a bottle of oil, “I’d think about it.” “Castiel,” says Balthazar, “I stood for you in heaven, are you going to–” “I believe the hairless ape has the floor,” says Cas. Everyone looks at everyone else. Balthazar finally clenches his hands and draws them down over his face. “Very well,” he says, “the debt is cleared–the boy’s soul is his own.” “Why are you buyin’ up human souls anyway?” asks Dean. “In this economy?” asks Balthazar, “it’s probably the only thing worth buying! Do you have any idea what souls are worth? What power they hold?” Dean and Sam exchange looks. “Now, release me,” demands the angel. “Suck it, ass clown,” orders Dean. Cas releases Balthazar, sending the flames down. “My debt to you is cleared,” he says. “Cas, what the hell?” says Dean. “Fair enough,” says Balthazar, and flies off. “Cas, you outta your mind?” shouts Dean, but Cas flies away, too. “CAS!!” tries Dean again. No response. “Freakin’ angels, come on!” yells Dean, breathing heavily in frustration. 
 
Sam combines the weapons from his car with Dean’s in the Impala’s trunk, explaining that he’s picked up some stuff along the way. Sam finds a mask from Ben’s Halloween costume–a Wendigo. “I like it,” says Sam, putting it back. Before they get into the Impala, together, Dean jumps: “So, are you OK?” “Me? Yeah, I’m great,” answers Sam, with a big, fake smile. “Really, ’cause there’s been a few times you’ve got me wondering,” says Dean. “Come again,” says Sam. “Like where were you when Cas was giving the holy taser treatment to that kid?” asks Dean. “I was right there,” answers Sam. “Really?” says Dean, “because I felt like I was the only one raisin’ the card.” “I was WITH you,” says Sam, “but we needed the intel.” “I know,” says Dean, “but we tortured that kid to get it. I just didn’t get the feeling that you even cared.” “Well you’re wrong,” insists Sam. “I’m just tryin’ to figure this out,” says Dean, “because somethin’s’ different with you–you know that.” “Yeah, yeah I know,” agrees Sam. “Really?” asks Dean. “Yeah!” Sam licks his lips–“I mean, I’ve been hunting non-stop for the past year, kinda on the wild, so I’m a little rough around the edges.” “Yeah, I get that,” says Dean, “but I just don’t think I’m gettin’ the whole scoop–you went to hell, Sam, and believe me, I know what that does to a guy.” “To you,” counters Sam. “What?” asks Dean. “You know what it does to you,” says Sam, “it tortured YOU, you know, I think it still does–but Dean, I’m OK.” “So you’re sayin’ what, that you’re stronger than me?” asks Dean. “No, just sayin’ we’re different,” replies Sam, giving the Impala a pat before getting in. Dean nods, agreeing with Sam on the surface, then shakes his head after his brother is in the car and out of sight. A muscle works in Dean’s right cheek. The gray sky probably matches his mood, a damn shame, because he, Sam and Baby are finally together again! 
 
My stream of consciousness – Did Sam end up on the rack in hell, as Dean did? Or, because he was part of Lucifer and vice versa, it was a completely different deal for him? If Sam was on the rack, did he, like John before him, refuse to pick up the knife and do any carving of his own? Was he able to withstand the torture and never succumb to the offer made by the new Alistair, whoever he or she was, to take over becoming the torturer? Is that what he means by his experience was different from Dean’s? 
 
Who else cringed, watching Sam pay for sex? Who else remembers the episode in season 4 when Dean came back from hell and Sam told him he never pays for sex? Why would a man who looks like Sam and is so good in bed a hooker wants to do him on her day off EVER have to pay? I know, I know, he wants it to be emotion-free because he doesn’t want to worry about any other women dying on his watch, blah blah blah. Poor Sam needs someone in his life as much as Dean does, and DESERVES it just as much, if not more! It killed me to see how little he thinks of himself that he’s paying for sex now! As for all that sweaty, sexy exercise? I am a hetero woman who was fanning herself and wishing. . .well, never mind. You can imagine. I sure did! 
 
It was good to see Cas, but what a badass hardnose he’s become! I’m glad to see how good a fighter he’s turned into (although Raphael was wiping the floor with him; what was up with that?), but he was sure horrifying Dean, what with his willingness to torture poor Aaron. The joke about Moses no longer having the Staff was really funny, and he made some other good one-liners, but it’s clear Cas is in over his head up there and could use some help. Perhaps he’ll find a fellow or lady angel who can help him sweep up up there. If angels are playing dead and stealing Daddy’s toys, then they really do need some good leadership, and it seems that Cas isn’t really respected by many, doesn’t it? Especially since they regard him as someone with a stick up his bum! By the way, wasn’t Balthazar fun? I liked our dear departed Gabriel much better, of course, but I liked Balty’s sense of mischief, too. 
 
Frankly, I found most of the last half of this ep kind of boring. Maybe it was the lack of Sam and Dean, but Cas’ protracted discussion with Balthazar just wasn’t that interesting, even though I liked Balthazar and his British accent. I think it would have been so much better played out with Gabriel, right? 
 
Did you note the sad contrast between Dean’s sweet dream of lovemaking with Lisa, something that has really happened many times, and Sam’s mechanical interaction with the hooker? After being with her, Sam exercises. Since sex is supposed to drain you, make you feel peaceful, Sam is still working himself hard, sweating, so it seems to me his encounter with the hooker didn’t work for him, even if it did for her. Sad, cold, and his “Good” when she told him how good he made her feel sounded like he didn’t really care. Brrr. Who replaced our sweet Sammy with a pod person? Bring him back, Dean (and we) miss him! Speaking of which, although Cas had some funny lines tonight, he was more military than human, and I miss the gentler Cas we had come to know and love. I know, he has to be harder and colder now, too, but I miss the old Cas! Dean, we know how you feel, and if you want help finding Sam, I’ll be happy to sit shotgun in the Impala. You can just put impostor Sammy in the back seat! It always used to be that it was Sam trying to pull feelings out of Dean, and now we’re getting the opposite.
 
1.  Who didn’t miss the Campbells in this episode at all?  Who did? I wasn’t sorry Sam left them out of this hunt, although I found it interesting he wanted to hunt with Dean alone–and satisfying, too!
 
2.  Wasn’t it great to see Cas back?  What did you think of his long scene with Balthazar? What do you think of his chance of getting heaven squared away, especially if there are more like Balthazar up there?
 
3.  Wasn’t it fun to see nasty Raphael turn to a pillar of salt?  Not that I’d want to dab that on my steak, of course!
 
4.  How did Sam’s encounter with the hooker make you feel?  How much did you wish you were in her shoes?
What about all his exercising?  Aside from how good he looked doing it, why was he doing it after sex?
 
5.  What do you think Sam meant when he told Dean  “hell tortured YOU, but I’m OK.” 
 
6.  What did you think of “The Third Man”?

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