Robin’s Rambles – Two and A Half Men

In what appears to be an idyllic home scenario–fire in the fireplace, pictures of a happy couple on the mantle, first alone, then with a baby, a bloody hand smashes one of those pictures. A frantic mother, bleeding, holding a baby to her chest, runs upstairs, away from a pursuer, and locks them in a bedroom. She tries the phone, but the lines have been cut. 

 

“Two and a Half Men” 6/2

–Robin’s Rambles by Robin Vogel

In what appears to be an idyllic home scenario–fire in the fireplace, pictures of a happy couple on the mantle, first alone, then with a baby, a bloody hand smashes one of those pictures. A frantic mother, bleeding, holding a baby to her chest, runs upstairs, away from a pursuer, and locks them in a bedroom. She tries the phone, but the lines have been cut. 

She slides herself and the baby under the bed, her hand over the child’s mouth to keep it quiet, sees two feet appear under the door, then move away. She takes a few gasped breaths, shushing the baby. When she spots the dead, bloodied body of her husband a few feet away, she can’t stop herself from giving a cry of horror, and she covers both her own and her child’s mouths to stifle the sounds. “Shhh,” she whispers to her baby, but at the same moment, hands grab her ankles and drag her out from under the bed, screaming, leaving her baby unharmed–but alone. 
 
Home for rent/rented – Dean, Lisa and Ben have rented a new place to live. In the garage, Dean checks a sawed-off shotgun in the Impala’s trunk, places it inside, stores the keys in a footlocker, and re-covers her in the tarp (weep!). He brings a box of kitchen stuff into the kitchen. Ben sits at the table, morose. Lisa asks him to keep an open mind before deciding he hates it, and he promises he will. When he gets up to take a bike ride, Dean suggests he help his mother unpack the kitchen. Lisa promises him they’ll go out for lunch later, scope out the neighborhood. It’s clear Dean is afraid for Ben, but says, “Sounds like a plan.” Yet Dean looks at the kid’s bike like it’s possessed. 

Lansing, MI – Sam, playing FBI dude, questions a cop about the murder we just saw. There was no break-in, the murders were brutal, the baby just gone. As of yesterday, the cop believed the baby to be alive. Sam enters the house. 

Pizza, one cheese, one everything, are delivered to the new Winchester house. Lisa and Ben are annoyed; they thought they were all going out. Dean lies that he forgot. 

Sam calls in to Samuel to report there is no EMF or sulfur at the scene of this case; he’s beginning to think this isn’t their thing. Four couples slaughtered, four babies taken from the same part of the state, locked houses, what part of that is natural? demands an angry Samuel. Sam agrees it’s awful, but it might just be a police case. Samuel says either it’s yokels or monsters grabbing babies to make baby stew; either way, it’s baby stew. He notes Sam seems distracted and asks, “Am I boring you, you got someplace you need to be? Sometimes I wonder about you, Sam.” “Sometimes I wonder about me, too,” admits Sam. Sam asks him to check if anyone else had an alarm system from Harper Kane Security. Grandpa is just delighted over an opportunity to check the computer. (LOL!) 

Garage – Dean is furious to find Ben playing with his sawed-off, which he took from the Impala after unlocking it. “Don’t ever open this trunk,” orders Dean. “OK,” Ben promises, “but I don’t get it, you had your own rifle when you were my age.” “Mark my words,” swears Dean, “you will never, ever shoot a gun– ever.” (Let’s hope Ben is never drafted!) Ben doesn’t get it–“You think something might be coming for us.” “There’s nothing coming for us,” insists Dean. “I could do what you do,” says Ben, “you could teach me how to shoot. . .” (Kiss of death!) “Shut up about the freakin’ gun, OK?” says Dean angrily. Ben says OK and sorry, near tears, backing away from Dean fearfully. He leaves the garage. Dean, already regretting his harsh words, tosses the tarp back over the back of the Impala. 

Sam sits on a park bench, his car parked nearby. He answers his phone–Samuel, reporting that every home that got hit had the same security system, Harper-Kane. There’s another couple still walking and talking, says Samuel, with a six-month-old baby. “What’s the address?” Sam asks, already on the way. 

Lisa joins Dean in the garage. “What happened?” she asks–“Ben’s been locked in his room for hours, says you yelled at him–what did he do?” “Nothin’,” says Dean. “What did YOU do?” she asks. “He got into my tools,” lies Dean, “I shouldn’t have gotten mad.” She asks if he wants to talk about this–yelling at Ben, keeping them in the house. Dean insists he’s trying to keep them safe here. I’m not arguing, she says, you’re the expert, I’m just asking–you said you and your brother killed whatever was after us, and then we moved, just to be sure, so what it is, Dean?–a monster, or monsters in general? I don’t know, Dean admits, something might come, I can’t predict what might come after me. We’re going to need parameters, she insists, we have to live our lives here–at some point, I have to work, Ben has school. (Good point, Lisa.) Something happens on my watch. . . begins Dean. I know you’re trying to protect us, she says, but you’re kind of scaring me a little, too. She leaves, giving Dean plenty to think about. 

Sam pulls up to a house in his cool black Charger. Gun and flashlight ready, he breaks into the house, where he finds Dad dead in a chair, throat slashed and Mom lying in a pool of blood on the carpet. Spying bloody footprints, Sam follows them into a closet, which leads to nothing but a scary music cue. He runs into a uniformed man and they briefly battle. When Sam cuts the guy’s hand with a silver knife, it sizzles, but the man gets away. Continuing on, Sam looks underneath a table and finds. . . 

Sam calls Dean from the car. “I need your help, now,” says Sam urgently. “I’m out!” insists Dean, salting the windows, “I’m stayin’ out.” “I need you with me on this,” says Sam, “make an exception,” “For what?” asks Dean. “I’m 30 minutes away,” says Sam, making a major bitch-face,” and I’ll drive to your DOOR if you don’t meet me.” “And what’s so nuts that you’ve got to threaten a damn drive-by?” asks Dean. Sam tells him, and although we don’t hear, Dean’s forehead crinkles, big time. 

Dean’s truck meets Sam’s Charger in the middle of nowhere. “Where is it?” Dean asks. “Strapped down in the back seat,” says Sam. Dean peers in. “Welcome to the party, Guttenberg,” says Sam. Dean looks again, licks his lips, shakes his head–inside is the cutest little baby, who gazes back at him solemnly. 
 
Home for rent/rented – Dean, Lisa and Ben have rented a new place to live. In the garage, Dean checks a sawed-off shotgun in the Impala’s trunk, places it inside, stores the keys in a footlocker, and re-covers her in the tarp (weep!). He brings a box of kitchen stuff into the kitchen. Ben sits at the table, morose. Lisa asks him to keep an open mind before deciding he hates it, and he promises he will. When he gets up to take a bike ride, Dean suggests he help his mother unpack the kitchen. Lisa promises him they’ll go out for lunch later, scope out the neighborhood. It’s clear Dean is afraid for Ben, but says, “Sounds like a plan.” Yet Dean looks at the kid’s bike like it’s possessed. 

Lansing, NB – Sam, playing FBI dude, questions a cop about the murder we just saw. There was no break-in, the murders were brutal, the baby just gone. As of yesterday, the cop believed the baby to be alive. Sam enters the house. 

Pizza, one cheese, one everything, are delivered to the new Winchester house. Lisa and Ben are annoyed; they thought they were all going out. Dean lies that he forgot. 

Sam calls in to Samuel to report there is no EMF or sulfur at the scene of this case; he’s beginning to think this isn’t their thing. Four couples slaughtered, four babies taken from the same part of the state, locked houses, what part of that is natural? demands an angry Samuel. Sam agrees it’s awful, but it might just be a police case. Samuel says either it’s yokels or monsters grabbing babies to make baby stew; either way, it’s baby stew. He notes Sam seems distracted and asks, “Am I boring you, you got someplace you need to be? Sometimes I wonder about you, Sam.” “Sometimes I wonder about me, too,” admits Sam. Sam asks him to check if anyone else had an alarm system from Harper Kane Security. Grandpa is just delighted over an opportunity to check the computer. (LOL!) 

Garage – Dean is furious to find Ben checking out his sawed-off, which he took from the Impala after unlocking it. “Don’t ever open this trunk,” orders Dean. “OK,” Ben promises, “but I don’t get it, you had your own rifle when you were my age.” “Mark my words,” swears Dean, “you will never, ever shoot a gun– ever.” (Let’s hope Ben is never drafted!) Ben doesn’t get it–“You think something might be coming for us.” “There’s nothing coming for us,” insists Dean. “I could do what you do,” says Ben, “you could teach me how to shoot. . .” (Kiss of death!) “Shut up about the freakin’ gun, OK?” says Dean angrily. Ben says OK and sorry, near tears, backing away from Dean fearfully. He leaves the garage. Dean, already regretting his harsh words, tosses the tarp back over the back of the Impala. 

Sam sits on a park bench, his car parked nearby. He answers his phone–Samuel, reporting that every home that got hit had the same security system, Harper-Kane. There’s another couple still walking and talking, says Samuel, with a six-month-old baby. “What’s the address?” Sam asks, already on the way. 

Lisa joins Dean in the garage. “What happened?” she asks–“Ben’s been locked in his room for hours, says you yelled at him–what did he do?” “Nothin’,” says Dean. “What did YOU do?” she asks. “He got into my tools,” lies Dean, “I shouldn’t have gotten mad.” She asks if he wants to talk about this–yelling at Ben, keeping them in the house. Dean insists he’s trying to keep them safe here. I’m not arguing, she says, you’re the expert, I’m just asking–you said you and your brother killed whatever was after us, and then we moved, just to be sure, so what it is, Dean?–a monster, or monsters in general? I don’t know, Dean admits, something might come, I can’t predict what might come after me. We’re going to need parameters, she insists, we have to live our lives here–at some point, I have to work, Ben has school. (Good point, Lisa.) Something happens on my watch. . . begins Dean. I know you’re trying to protect us, she says, but you’re kind of scaring me a little, too. She leaves, giving Dean plenty to think about. 

Sam pulls up to a house in his cool black Charger. Gun and flashlight ready, he breaks into the house, where he finds Dad dead in a chair, throat slashed and Mom lying in a pool of blood on the carpet. Spying bloody footprints, Sam follows them into a closet, which leads to nothing but a scary music cue. He runs into a uniformed man and they briefly battle. When Sam cuts the guy’s hand with a silver knife, it sizzles, but the man gets away. Continuing on, Sam looks underneath a table and finds. . . 

Sam calls Dean from the car. “I need your help, now,” says Sam urgently. “I’m out!” insists Dean, salting the windows, “I’m stayin’ out.” “I need you with me on this,” says Sam, “make an exception,” “For what?” asks Dean. “I’m 30 minutes away,” says Sam, making a major bitch-face,” and I’ll drive to your DOOR if you don’t meet me.” “And what’s so nuts that you’ve got to threaten a damn drive-by?” asks Dean. Sam tells him, and although we don’t hear, Dean’s forehead crinkles, big time. 

Dean’s truck meets Sam’s Charger in the middle of nowhere. “Where is it?” Dean asks. “Strapped down in the back seat,” says Sam. Dean peers in. “Welcome to the party, Guttenberg,” says Sam. Dean looks again, licks his lips, shakes his head–inside is the cutest little baby, who gazes back at him solemnly. 
 
Before leaving on the hunt with Sam, Dean makes sure Lisa knows how to load and cock his gun. She assures him she’ll salt the windows and doors. “Maybe I shouldn’t go,” he frets. “It’s OK, you wanna go, so go,” she says. “Sam can handle this,” says Dean. “No offense,” she says half teasingly, “but if you don’t walk out that door, I’m gonna shoot you.” They look at each other, almost smiling. “Bet you’re missing your ex right now,” teases Dean, “the boring one?” “God, shut up,” she laughs, “just be careful, OK?” He kisses her goodbye, just a quick smooch on the mouth. “Bye,” he says. “Bye,” she replies, her face impassive. (But boy, what an incredibly understanding woman, or is she something evil involved in a plan with Samuel and demons and God-knows-what else, because, damn, she’s too good to be true!) 

Sam, twirling his keys around in his hand, is waiting for Dean, who shows up in his truck. Grabbing his duffel out of the back, Dean asks, “What do we know about this thing?” “It’s fast and freaked when I cut it with silver,” outlines Sam. Which narrows it down to? asks Dean. Ghoul, zombie, a shifter, about a dozen other things, says Sam. (Huh? Ghoul Adam didn’t react to the silverware Dean left on the table, as I recall–right?) “I don’t recall seeing baby-napping in the profiles,” says Dean. “Yeah, exactly,” says Sam. Dean turns to the baby in the back seat. “Feel free to speak up if you know anything,” he suggests. The baby grins at him. Sam starts the car, which blares the fact that Dean hasn’t belted up. Sam reminds him. “What am I, in third grade?” complains Dean–“of course you drive, I’ll be a little bitch.” The baby farts. “Don’t take it personal,” says Dean. The baby smiles. “We gotta get some supplies,” Dean says. 
 
When Sam tells him he has an arsenal in the trunk, Dean says that’s not the kind he’s speaking of, and they make haste for the nearest drug store, where Dean says, “I’m pretty sure there’s some kind of paste or jelly you’re supposed to put on their butt.” Sam holds up the correct item. Dean grabs diapers, a few other items. Sam wants to know how he knows all this. Lisa has a baby niece, and Dean’s had to “make a few milk runs.” “Huh,” says Sam, mocking him. “Shut it,” says Dean. “I just said huh,” says Sam. “And I said shut it,” warns Dean. (great stuff!) Noting the baby is growing antsy, Dean warns there will be waterworks in t minus 10. Sam pushes the baby quickly in the basket while Dean loads up on the necessities. By the time they’re on line, the baby is in full-fledged crying mode. “Dean, make it stop,” begs Sam. Despite his shhhhing and calling him buddy, the baby isn’t listening. Sam’s concerned because everyone is staring at them like they’re child abusers. “Feed it!” orders Sam. “We fed it!” Dean reminds him–“do you think I speak baby–maybe he needs a diaper change.” “Oh, God, I hope not,” says Sam, grossed out. Dean picks up the baby and holds it at arm’s length, imitating his crying while everyone shakes their heads at the way he’s handling him. Sam waves at the baby. A kindly black lady asks the baby’s name. Sam answers “John” and Dean answers “Bob.” “Bobby John,” covers Dean. “Hi, Bobby John!” she chirps, “aren’t you handsome!” She takes the baby from Dean, who quiets because she holds him close, observes that he’s a little wet and that “You two look exhausted.” She says she doesn’t mind, Lord knows, she’s changed a million diapers. Delighted that the baby is happy, Dean is, too–until he spies the woman’s laser eyes on the monitors by the cash register! He says it’s a nice offer, but he’s got it. “Give me the baby before I stab you in your neck,” threatens Dean. “DEAN!” objects Sam, until his brother points his thumb at the monitor so Sam can see those eyes. The shifter dashes off with the baby, Dean and Sam in pursuit. Dean yanks off a piece of her skin. Sam runs into her and pulls the baby from her arms. She runs after him, but Dean tackles her to the floor and is about to stab her with his silver knife when she calls, “Help, he’s hurting me!” The store manager pulls Dean off her. “OK, all right!” he says, standing away from the shifter and closing his knife. He dashes outside. Sam pulls up and Dean climbs into the car. The shifter comes out in time to catch their plate number. Dean, fumbling Bobby John into his car seat, asks, “What does a shifter want with a baby, anyway?” “I dunno, you tell me,” says Sam. “How did they find us?” wonders Dean–“who designed this thing, NASA?” “They could have been following me this whole time,” laments Sam, “since the baby’s house?” Dean says they have to get off the road, get the baby someplace safe. Bobby John is crying again, and Dean tries to calm him down. “Easy, kid.” 

A shifter has murdered a cop and taken his form–and his squad car. He calls in a 10-28 on Illinois plates I4ZO892. In a pile beside the police car is the gooey remnants of the lady shifter who tried to kidnap the baby in the drug store. 

Motel room – Dean sits on one of the beds changing the baby, offering him money if he’ll sit still. Sam, going over paperwork, chuckles. “This is like diffusing an IED with poop,” says Dean, holding up a diaper. He pronounces the baby “golden”, picks him up and hums “Smoke on the Water” to him as he walks him to a crib. Sam warns him that he’s going to make him cranky again. “If I put you down, are you gonna be mad about it?” Dean asks Bobby John. To Sam’s amazement, the baby is sound asleep. “You’re actually not awful at that,” he says. “Dude, I’m barely keepin’ that thing alive,” says Dean. Sam insists he’s got a whole Dr. Huxtable vibe coming off him–“like father material.” Pouring a drink, Dean reminds him he’s kinda had to be lately, with Ben–sink or swim–“I know he’s not my kid, but it’s startin’ to feel like, yeah, he is.” Dean chuckles darkly and continues, “Then I think about the way we grew up, and I kinda feel I have a chance to do something different with Ben, you know?” “Are you sure about that?” asks Sam, “look, you clearly care about the kid, but movin’ him around, leepin’ him on lock-down–I mean, you do have them on lock-down, right.” Dean, glass in hand, doesn’t answer. “How is any of that different from how we were raised?” asks Sam. Dean sits on the bed. “So you’re saying. . .I’m not shovin’ anybody into this life,” says Dean, “OK, this is temporary.” “Dad always said it was temporary, Dean,” Sam reminds him, “he said it for 22 years–look, I get it, you want to watch out for them, that’s great, I’m just asking, how do you do that and not turn into Dad?” No answer from Dean. Sam finds something in the paperwork. “Crap, I can’t believe I missed this–the house on Elm, the mother was killed, the baby was grabbed, but Daddy wasn’t living in the house at the time, so he’s still alive! What do you say we go and have a chat?” Dean rises, all set to go with, but they remember–the baby, and Dean tells Sam to go alone. “You sure?” asks Sam. “Unless you’ve got a badge for Bobby John,” says Dean. The baby has begun to fuss again, so Dean sticks his finger into the booze in his glass and then into the baby’s mouth (clearly something John taught him, and a very bad thing to do!) “It’s good, in’t?” he says, grinning. 

Jimmy’s Custom Auto Body and Repair – Sam questions the dead woman’s husband, who talks with horror about the death of his wife and how the baby disappeared into thin air–“no thanks to you guys.” “That’s why I’m here,” says Sam, “you filed for divorce?–it’s important, that’s why I’m here.” “She cheated on me, and, well, I caught her,” says Jimmy. “Did you know the other man?” asks Sam. “I didn’t ‘catch her-catch her’,” says Jimmy, “she lied to me–we haven’t–you know–in a while, and then she’s pregnant. She said it was mine. I said that’s impossible, what is she talkin’ about, and she says, ‘Don’t you remember when you went outta town and you came back early and we. . .” “But you didn’t,” says Sam. “No,” says Jimmy, “I was at a damn softball tournament–whoever he was, he’s the father.” Sam nods somberly. 

Bobby John lies in the crib, awake and quiet. Dean lies on the bed, enjoying the Magic Fingers Relaxation Service, drifting off to sleep. He hears the sound of a splash, then Bobby John crying, hard. Dean sits up and sees what looks like a bunch of gore all over the wall and picture over the baby’s crib. He rises from bed, walking toward the crib. His phone rings. “I talked to the father, he checks out,” says Sam hurriedly, “the BABY. . .I think the shape-shifter is his dad. We see the box of diapers, featuring a black baby model. Dean lifts crying Bobby John–now a black baby covered with shape-shifter goo–from the crib. “Ya think?” asks a stunned Dean. 
 
Dean is cleaning up the new baby on a blanket on the bed when the hotel manager knocks at the door, saying that the baby’s crying is bothering others. He wants to come in, but Dean says it’s a bad time; he just got out of the shower. Dean puts the baby into the crib. The door unlocks and the cop enters. He and Dean grapple. “Get outta the way,” orders the cop, “the child should be with his father.” “I don’t see the family resemblance,” quips Dean. “I’m not just talkin’ about me,” says the cop, “I’m talkin’ about OUR father.” This puzzles Dean, but they get back to fighting, and he cuts his opponent’s face with his silver knife, making it sizzle nicely. He knocks Dean down and heads over to grab the baby, but Sam shows up and shoots him. The baby starts crying again. “There goes our deposit,” says Dean, both of them gazing at the dead man on the floor. 

Back on the road, the now-black baby in the back seat, Sam says, “It’s pretty smart, actually, shifter poses as a guard from the security company to get near the house, scopes out the fam. . .” “Daddy takes off and shifter becomes Daddy,” finishes Dean, “a few glasses of wine, shakes Mama’s trees, comes back in nine months to collect the prize.” “I didn’t even know they HAD babies,” says Sam, “I thought they were just freaks of nature, like X-Men style.” “You learn something new every day, huh?” says Dean. “I’ve never seen a baby monster before,” says Sam. “Yeah,” says Dean, gazing at the back seat at the precious sleeping child, “of course, it’s not really a monster, it’s still just a baby, it’s not his fault his dad’s a shifter.” “Right, but it’s a shifter, too,” says Sam. “Still doesn’t change the fact that we gotta look after this thing,” says Dean, “what the hell are we gonna do with it, we can’t actually drop it off at an orphanage, they might get upset when it turns Asian.” Sam suggests Samuel, but Dean doesn’t want to bring the baby to a bunch of hunters. Not just hunters–family, says Sam. We don’t know them, says Dean. I do, says Sam. Not every hunter is a head-case, insists Sam, Samuel is a lot like you. I’m a freakin’ headcase, says Dean. Sam asks him to pitch a better idea. When Dean can’t, Sam says, “Samuel it is.” 

The cousins open the gates to admit them to the Campbell compound. Dean eyes them warily, clutching Bobby John tightly to his chest. Gwen caresses the baby’s head. “Aren’t you just the cutest guise a monster ever wore,” she drawls. When Dean gives her an ugly look, she says, “I’m kidding, Dean, relax!” Dean asks Mark if he has something to say, and when he doesn’t, tells him, “Just stand there and THINK at me.” “Let me see the little guy,” asks Samuel. “That’s OK, I got him,” insists Dean, refusing. “What do you think I’m gonna do?” asks Samuel. “You really don’t want me to answer that question,” says Dean. “I’m curious,” says Christian, “who, exactly, do you think we are?” “Hunters,” answers Dean. “I’ve been thinking we’re family,” says Christian.” “Let’s not get worked up,” suggests Sam. “Yeah, let’s not,” agrees Christian. Dean DOES hand the baby over to Sam, still somewhat reluctant, and Sam gives the baby to Samuel. “You’re a big fella, aren’t ya?” croons Samuel to the baby–“I haven’t held one of these in a long time, your mom was the tiniest, she was bald as a cue ball.” “What the hell are we gonna do with him?” demands Dean. “Raise him,” says Samuel. This flummoxes Dean: “RAISE him?” “You got another suggestion?” asks Samuel–“It’s dangerous out there for him, Dean.” “What about in here?” asks Dean, “are we gonna study him, poke at him?” “Your mind goes right to torture,” points out Christian, “don’t assume that for everyone.” “What exactly are you tryin’ to say?” asks Dean, insulted. “Sorry, I heard about what you majored in, down in the pit,” says Christian. (The camera focuses on Sam, who must have tattled.) “What the hell is your problem, man?” asks Dean. Christian stands. “You’re starting to become a pain in my ass,” he says. Sam intervenes, “Christian. . .take it easy, man, he’s my brother.” Christian gives Sam an “I don’t give a damn” look. “We all done bristlin’ up here or what?” asks Samuel–“nobody’s doin’ anything to him, Dean, when he’s old enough, we throw it to him, he wants to volunteer to help out, that’s fine. “Could be great,” says Mark, “think of the kind of hunter he’ll grow up to be.” “You gotta be joking!” says Dean–“you can’t Angelina Jolie a shape-shifter! Gimmee the baby.” “Why can’t you give me an inch of trust, Dean?” asks Samuel. “Maybe because you two are suddenly back from the dead and I seem to be the only one who wants to know how the hell that happened!” says Dean harshly. “You’re not the only one who wants to know,” says Sam quietly. “There’s just a little too much mystery around this family for me to get comfy,” says Dean with a cruel smile. “Then don’t,” says Samuel, “but don’t put it on us, all we’re trying to do is let you in. Christian, you and Arlene, still no luck on the baby front?” “Not yet, no,” says Christian–but they DO want one! Dean protests. “It’s OK,” Sam assures him. “Congrats,” says Samuel, handing him the baby, “it’s a boy–sometimes.” Christian smiles at the child. “The crap I do for this family,” he says. “You’re kidding, right?” says Dean. “Go to hell, Dean,” orders Christian amiably. “You have no business raising ANYTHING,” insists Dean. “Why?” asks Sam–“because he’s a hunter?” 

The sound of dogs barking sends everyone on high alert. Samuel hands the baby to Dean and tells him to take him downstairs to the panic room, he’ll be safe there. Sam goes with him while the others swiftly arm up. A shifter who looks exactly like Samuel bursts through the door. “You have something of ours,” he says warningly. 
 
“I know he’s here,” says the shifter, “I can feel him.” Samuel and the cousins commence to shoot the shifter. Mark stabs him, yells “RUN!” and gets his neck broken. “MARK!” screams Gwen, running at the shifter as Samuel plugs him with eight or more tranquilizer-filled darts. The shifter has Gwen around the throat and is strangling her; finally felled by everything shot at him, he lets her go and falls to the floor. Gwen gasps, fighting to recover. “Get silver nets,” orders Samuel, “I’m gonna box him up.” Christian leaves to do as told. The shifter, however, rapidly recuperates; he rises as if unhurt, flexes a few muscles and sends all the darts shooting right out of him. Samuel and Christian stare at him as he comes at them, unable to believe what they’re seeing. 

Down in the safe room, Dean paces with the baby, trying to keep him calm and quiet. The brothers hear sounds above them that make them fear what’s happening. Sam finally says, “I’m goin’ up. Stay with the baby.” To his horror, he looks out the round window and finds himself face to face with–himself. Shifter Sam yanks off the door of the panic room and tosses it away. He comes close enough to Sam to kiss him and easily tosses him away, too, leaving nothing but air between Dean and the shifter, who morphs instantly into Dean’s form. “What the?” says Dean, holding tightly to the baby. “Gimmee the baby,” demands the shifter. “No way in hell,” says Dean. The shifter walks forward and puts the squeeze on Dean’s throat, lifting him higher and higher on the wall until he’s able to wrest the baby from Dean’s grip. He lets Dean drop, still alive, and marches away with the contented baby, who somehow seems to know he’s with his father. Dean lays on the floor, coughing, recovering. 

Back upstairs, Christian shoots Dean a dirty look as he passes by. “I’m pretty sure it’s not a myth now,” Samuel is telling Sam. “What the hell WAS that thing?” asks Dean. “We think it may have been an Alpha,” says Samuel, “like all monsters have to come from somewhere, right?” And Grandpa thinks this one was the King Shape-Shifter–first one, who spawned all the others–there’s tons of lore about it. “The first one?” asks Dean, amazed. “That’s why it was so strong,” says Sam, “and why nothing we did stopped it.” “And he said that he could find the baby anywhere,” adds Samuel, “that he could feel it, like there’s a connection, that’s in the lore, too.” “What the hell’s it want with babies, anyway?” asks Dean. “Softball team?” suggests Samuel, admitting he doesn’t know. “Great,” says Dean, “how do we kill it?” “I don’t know if we can,” admits Samuel. This displeases Dean. “Just before you ganked that shifter in the motel,” says Dean, “he mentioned a father, which makes sense now, because he meant the Alpha.” “Huh, yeah, I guess so,” says Sam casually. “Did you hear him say that?” asks Dean. “Uh, I dunno, it was kinda a hot moment, ya know,” says Sam, “why?” “Cause if you heard him,” says Dean, “then you knew the Alpha was out there.” “Okay. . .” says Sam, as if unsure where Dean is going. “And if you knew the Alpha was out there, then you knew he might come after the baby,” says Dean, “in which case, you were using the baby as bait–so, was that the plan–using the baby as bait?” “Of course not,” says Sam, puzzled, “Dean, I just thought Samuel’s was the safest place, that’s all.” “Right, of course,” says Dean, but there is no trust on Dean’s face as they climb into Sam’s car. 

Samuel is on the phone with someone, giving a report: “No I didn’t catch it, it killed three of my people! I shot it full of elephant tranquilizer and it chuckled! To be honest, I’m not sure I wanna find it. But yeah, we will find a way to catch it. Yeah, sure I’ll bring it right to ya, gift-wrapped!” He hangs up, pissed off. (For some reason, I saw the other person on the phone as John Winchester! I know, crazy, right?) 

Dean returns home, where Lisa is washing dishes and Ben is on a bike ride. She senses something is bothering him. “What?” she asks. “I don’t know what to do here, Lis,” he says, “I mean, if I knew for sure what the safest thing was, then I’d do it–to stay here and look after you guys, or to get as far away as I possibly can–I don’t know–and I get what I’ve been doing lately, with the yelling and acting like a prison guard, that’s not me. You tell yourself you’re not gonna be something, you know, but my dad was exactly like this, all the time, and it scared the hell out of me.” Lisa confesses that she doesn’t know whether she and Ben are safer with him here or gone. “The one thing that I do know is that you’re not a construction worker–you’re a hunter–and now you know your brother’s out there, things are different–you don’t wanna be here, Dean.” He protests, “I do.” “Okay,” she says, “but you also want to be there–I get it, you’re white-knuckling it like this, like what you are is some bad-awful thing–but you’re not. But I’m not gonna have this discussion every time you leave, and this is just gonna keep happening, so I need you to go.” “I can’t just lose you,” says Dean brokenly. “That’s not what I’m saying,” she says. “You’re saying hit the road,” he confirms. “If there’s some kind of rule that says this has to be either/or, let’s say we break it,” suggests Lisa, grinning, “me and Ben, we’ll be here, and you come when you can–just come in one piece, okay?” “You really think we can pull something like that off?” asks Dean. Shrugging, she says, “It’s worth a shot, right?” He nods, not very sanguine. 

“Smoke on the Water” begins to play as Dean goes into the garage and drags the tarp off the Impala. There’s the old plate, CNK 80Q3, and the car gleams as the camera passes over it, inside and out. Dean, dressed in his best hunter gear, is smiling. We hear the growl of her engine over the credits, the sound made by Dean’s favorite Baby in the world! 
 
Stuff that struck me:
 
Does Sam remember who brought HIM up? Who probably changed most of his diapers, put tushy paste on him, rocked him to sleep to rock tunes? None other than DEAN! John was too immersed in killing supernatural beings to take care of most of that, and we know how young Dean was when John started leaving him alone with Sam. I bet Dean was changing diapers at the age of four, too! So while Dean may know more current baby info as a result of “milk runs” for Lisa’s niece, he still has plenty of knowledge in his memory of fathering his baby brother, and I’m surprised neither Sam nor Dean brought it up! 
 
Sam comments to his grandfather that sometimes he wonders about himself. Interesting. Why, because he’s distracted? What is it about this case, I wonder, that makes him beg for Dean’s help? Because he has a baby in the car and has no idea what to do with it? Because parents are being killed and babies kidnapped and this case is too scary for him to deal with alone in his fragile, post-hell state? What did you mean by that, Sam? We don’t hear exactly what Sam says to Dean that changes his mind about going along on the case, but Dean does show up to check out the adorable cherub Sam has in the back seat! Sam’s teasing–and respect–for Dean’s skills with the baby reminded me of the good old days, when they ragged on each other during their cases. Despite the ugliness later, I felt a glimmer of hope for them, and I didn’t have any of that last week. Sam seemed to have regained a sense of humor and teasing, and that definitely lightened the mood here. 
 
She has me baffled. She’s agreed to everything Dean’s wanted, allowed him to yell at her kid without getting upset, been patient TO A FAULT. I can’t help but wonder if this STEPFORD WOMAN isn’t up to something, working hand in hand with Samuel or some evil group, because let’s face it, telling Dean to go off hunting with his brother and come to her when he wants a booty call and feels like playing daddy really is just too perfect! Maybe she is a really understanding woman and giving Dean what she knows he needs most, but come ON! 
 
Baby #1 was just adorable, and the scene in the car when he farts had me hysterical. I was also laughing during the scene in the store, with the butt paste and Sam teasing Dean over all he knows about taking care of a baby. “Bobby John,” for their current and past fathers? Priceless! Leave it to Dean to hand the kid over to a kindly shape-shifter who offers to help and is able to stop the baby’s crying. Like diffusing an IED with poop? Singing “Smoke on the Water” to get him to sleep? And Sam reminding him of the kind of life they led under John, and how Dean might be turning into that kind of man now, with Ben and Lisa? But I laughed the hardest, folks, when that baby shed its skin and turned into an African-American, splattering its original skin all over the motel wall! 
 
When I realized that Sam must have told his cousins that Dean tortured other souls in hell, I was surprised at what seemed like Sam’s indiscretion—until I remembered that Sam considers the Campbells family, trusts them and has probably told them HIS hell tales. Christian threw this back at Dean when he said, “Your mind goes right to torture,” and mentions what Dean “majored in down in the pit.” Then again, the first thing Dean asked was, ‘Are we gonna study him, poke at him.?’ Truth was, Christian and his wife apparently hadn’t been able to have kids, and Samuel offered the baby to them. The Campbells–and Sam–seemed to have it all figured out for Bobby John, but Dean thought them all insane for wanting to “Angelina Jolie” a shape-shifter as if he were purely human. Now–Dean doesn’t believe hunters should raise kids? Or shouldn’t raise kids and be hunters at the same time? He did a pretty great job raising Sammy while doing the job of a hunter, didn’t he? I think Dean doesn’t want THESE hunters raising this shape-shifter baby, but I can’t figure out what Dean was planning to do with it once he took it away. It’s clear that Sam distrusts everyone, including Sam, when he has no idea how he came back from the dead. Sam claims he doesn’t know, either, and would like to. I suspect Samuel already knows how HE came back, and probably Sam, too. I think Sam completely trusts this new family he’s thrown in with, which is unfortunate, because they have not confided in him entirely. 
 
Let’s say Sam DID know about the Alpha shifter through Samuel and that AS would come to the Campbell Compound for Bobby John. In the grand IDEAL scheme of things, they hoped to kill the Alpha shifter and keep and raise the baby, right? They wanted to protect the baby from his father. They had good intentions. Their plan failed. The baby, and all the others, were not killed, although their parents were. They went to their new daddies. Sam was wrong, but had the right intentions. He’s been there before. Not much mourning for the dead Mark Campbell, I noticed. For all the spouting about family, there was little said about the fact that one of their own had died.
 
It really hurt to see the Impala in the garage, buried under a tarp, while Dean drove a truck to work. It felt like Dean was burying himself, for God’s sake, and so WRONG! So this final scene, with that song playing loud in the background, the camera panning over every gleaming inch of her, Dean grinning, then the sound of the engine growling over the credits–BABY IS BACK!!!! 
 
I really enjoyed this episode, especially the brothers’ interaction with “Bobby John.” 
  

1. Who do you think Samuel was talking to on the phone?
2. Do you believe Sam was using the baby as bait?  If so, did he have good intentions, overall?
3. Is Lisa involved in a plot against Dean, or just the best damn girlfriend in the world?
4. Why would shape-shifters want babies of their own?  How does this tie in with last week’s weird Djinn?
5. Speaking of which, Samuel was apparently told to capture Alpha-shifter by his caller.  They got a Djinn last week. Sounds like they’re gathering for the ark.  What’s that all about?
6. Did you feel the same exhilaration in your gut and heart when Dean pulled the tarp off the Impala and you knew he and Baby were going to be back on the road again? 
7. Do you think Sam will still want to ride in his own car now that his big brother is back?  How much will that crush your heart?
8. What question/s did you have about this ep?