Sam – Redemption for a Hero
I can’t even begin to imagine how it must have felt to be imprisoned in your own body that was controlled by the greatest adversary possible. Lucifer pushed the right buttons to drive Sam insane in there – he made it clear that he had influenced his life from the very beginning, making sure, his path would lead him exactly to this very moment – putting his prom date there, his teacher, some friends – Azazel’s gang.
He had been hovering on the brink for a while, but his was more than Sam could bear. His face in the mirror after Lucifer blew off ‘some steam’ speak volumes – this kind of destructive anger might have been Sam’s modus operandi in an earlier season, seeking revenge on Lilith, but it was not now. The only anger he felt was directed at Lucifer who needed to be destroyed.
With what he learned from Lucifer the final pieces of the puzzle that was the enigma of his life and his feeling different fell into place. The sensation he had known all his life was confirmed again, but this time Sam was ready to deal with it.
Coming to the decision to let Lucifer in was one of the most thought-through resolutions of his young life, and this time with his brother’s consent. He would not allow Lucifer to affect him in the way he had done in the past with all those manipulations.
It needed something else, though, to find enough strength to overcome the lightbearer. Sam spent many of his last moments in anger, I assume – entrapped in his own body, fighting desperately against the dark fiend, trying to find the necessary force to conquer him. Knowing Sam, as Lucifer killed Castiel and Bobby, and almost beat Dean to death, he probably raged more in there than he had ever in his life. But it didn’t help him.
Lucifer stayed in control.
That is, until countless memories reached Sam’s soul with the light caught in the metal of the Impala. From the army man in the ashtray to the tight hug the brothers shared after Dean had brought Sam back. Memories that were nothing else but expressions of closeness and love and kindness and attention, of respect and of fights, in short: of a deep bond that was never destroyed no matter how strongly the dark powers tried to achieve that.
It may be that Sam was very angry during his last hours, but in the end, when it really counted – love was the driving force that helped Sam take back the reigns and jump into the black hole.
He gave everything he had to give – his life. He did it out of love and the wish to set things right. His deeds in season four had hurt his self-esteem badly, he felt to be the least of all his family and friends, and still he became the most important asset there was to put Lucifer back into his cage.
We don’t know yet how Sam came back or what grace raised him from the pit. I would like to believe that his great sacrifice secured what he yearned for the most: redemption. Forgiveness. Being worthy of his brother’s love and trust.
I understand why Sam was so desperate for that, but I never saw him with the unforgiving eyes Dean looked at him in the beginning or the malicious eyes the angels followed him with. I was hoping for him to finally see what a decent and brave human being he is, and I hope he will find the strength of his soul again, as he did when he brought down Lucifer.
As the essence of this show has always circled around the many faces of love and family, it was only logical and pure that in the end love was the power that helped them. ‘We’re still working on the power of love‘ Dean mocked the others in an earlier episode, but in fact that was exactly the power they needed. Hopefully, it will help Dean come to terms with losing his brother – and Sam finding his way back into life after – in all likelihood – horrific experiences in hell, even if it was ‘only’ the hell of feeling Lucifer’s presence in his body.
So, at this very point, in the soft mood of this article, and still moved to tears by Sam’s ordeal, I will interpret his eyes at the end of Swan Song to hold an expression of love and relief, that Dean is not alone, that he did the right thing of directing him to Lisa and fighting Lucifer. And thereby found peace and redemption. Well deserved, indeed.
Was blind, but now I see.
This evening, you are my best friend. Seriously, this is everything that I’ve been trying to put into words since the finale. Even before the finale, I wanted him to do this – let Lucifer in, jump in the hole – because it’s the only way for him to find redemption. And he did. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a more beautiful, yet tragic, redemption story, fictional or otherwise.
I’m constantly amazed by how emotionally invested I am in these characters, especially Sam. My heart still hurts when I think about the finale and the events leading up to it.
You phrased this spectacularly. Thank you so much.
Sam is an all round good egg and now he’s done the decent thing, saved the world and totally made up for any unfortunate collateral nurse-slaughtering that might have happened previously there’s nothing standing between us and a whole season of shower scenes with the occasional bitch-face thrown in for good measure. Hurrah! ( Shallow? Me? What? 😆 )
Jas.
This was a real labour of love and a beautifully written article .
It`s a testament and fitting tribute to the young boy from the Pilot we have watched grow into the wonderful man who sacrificed everything in `Swan Song`.
Amazing Grace , indeed . You know I thought this was the perfect piece of music for him and it`s so right that you can use THIS song in your article. Ju
Megan, Dany, Suze and Julie, hi ladies!
Megan, I’m deeply moved to have been able to voice what you have been feeling, thanks so much. Funny how a stranger can become a friend, even for one evening.
Dany, gosh, sweetie, didn’t mean to make you cry again… Some people might think it cheesy, but indeed it was all about love in the end. Love and family. For me, there is nothing cheesy about that… You’re right, this is one of the main reasons why we love this freakin’ show so much…
Suze, hey, gal, we would never be shallow, Never! What? Did someone accuse us of that?
Ju, actually, that pic with your Amazing Grace remark was an inspiration for this article. I have thought about this ever since I watched the episode for the first time, but your notch into that direction actually put the first sentence to my head! So, it’s also a tribute to the inspiration by friends… and beautiful pictures…
Thank you so much for your kind comments! Love Jas
Great stuff, Jas. I can just about read the headline in Sunday edition of the Lawrence Gazette, Local Boy Does Good.
A redemption well-earned, but I still blame upstairs and downstairs for it ever coming to this. Funny, does that mean that love is the ultimate middle finger? 😎
Jas, I thank you with all my heart for your words about our beloved Sammy. I know it’s crazy (it’s a fictional character, right?)but like you, I sort of fell in love with the guy. I love Dean too, but Sam is special for me and has always been. My heart ached through loads of Sambashing, from people who were always ready to judge his actions but never able to see what lay behind them: the pain,the desperation, the grief, the loneliness, the guilt.
I’m devastated about Swan Song, but I’m so happy and so proud to know that he triumphed in the end, even if it was at a terrible cost. I’ll always think about this episode as The Sam’s Song.
This article made my day. God bless you. 🙂
Randal and AndreaW, this is so, awwwh… don’t know, I’m at a loss for words right now.
Randal, I would love to see that Headline. You know, I actually do believe that love is the ultimate middle finger. And it has style, don’t you think?
AndreaW, I’m happy to have found you with this article and enhanced your day. Even though it’s sorta crazy to love a fictional character, we are totally allowed to do so as long as we’re aware that it’sa fictional guy which we are. Our sanity is not endangered.
Sam, as you have read, has always moved me more than I believed possible. Well, he didn’t have to put a lot of effort into it. He’s just a great person… both Winchesters are, but Sam, well, just like you feel about him, got more under my skin.
Thank you guys, Love Jas
So, when I get on the computer I always go to a few sites, this is one of them, and any article you put up I always read last because they’re so awesome.
This was so beautiful. I’m a Dean girl, I used to be violently in favor of Dean (read: first 4 seasons 21 epsiodes) but now it’s only slight, ever since than damn finale when Sammy broke my heart being all brave and self-assured and wahhh.
I love your articles! You make me want to go into psycology.
Jas, once again, beautiful article and analysis into our beloved Sam. The power of love was indeed the power needed for Sam to break hold of Lucifer’s grasp on him and finally, in his own eyes, redeem himself from his past mistakes. I believe Sam always had Dean’s love – his trust was another issue.
Trust is a tricky thing. So easy to lose, yet so very hard to earn back. It is especially hard to earn back that trust when the loss of trust comes from a loved one. Sam’s efforts all throughout Season 5 were certainly major strides in him being able to earn back that trust, that look back in Dean’s eyes. And, I think, that Sam also had to learn to trust himself again. As he points out in Good God Y’all, he doesn’t trust himself. Doesn’t trust his motives or intentions. We are always hardest on ourselves and to try to gain trust back in a loved one is hard – but to gain the trust back in ourselves, that is the hardest test of all.
Dean’s trust in Sam was growing as the latter part of the year progressed and was finally fully gained back in Point of No Return. But the trust Sam had in himself? To be able to gain a trust and belief back in yourself after you have been emotionally destroyed is one of the greatest victories we can ever achieve. And I think Sam was finally able to come back to the point where he was once again able to trust his own decisions and believe in himself – and it wasn’t until he overcame Lucifer and jumped into the pit where that journey was finally complete.
I can only hope that with this new realized belief and trust in himself and the regained trust of Dean, along with the ever strengthened bond of love between these two, that Sam can finally let go of this hole inside himself that has been with him ever since mid-Season 1 when we started learning about his psychic abilities and the demon blood. Both brothers should be able to finally put this to rest and be at peace, especially Sam, with the different or “freak” aspect of his persona. And should this gift remain within Sam, then I hope he can live with this and deal with the powers inside of himself from a positive aspect instead of a negative aspect. Sam is worthy of Dean’s love and trust and he is worthy of love of self and trust in self. I just hope he finally realizes it.
This is one of the most beautiful articles I’ve ever read about Sam!!! It brought tears in my eyes and this is exactly how I feel about Sammy!!! Even when he did the things he did in season 4, I never got mad at him, because I knew that he thought he was doing the right thing, but my poor boy has been manipulated… to be honest I was mad at Dean for not being able to understand his little brother… But then again, Dean has been manipulated too…
Anyway, back to Sammy! For me, the things you wrote are obvious 😀 why can’t all people see them????
Hi Jasminka
Once again beautifully written!
Putting into words everything that I wish I was able to say.
That scene with Dean on the ground leaning against the Impala, all beat up and broken.
Sam fighting with everything he has to keep Lucifer under control.
Then Sam giving Dean that one last look to reassure him before closing his eyes to fall into the gateway to hell.
And Dean watching helplessly as his brother makes that final ultimate sacrifice.
Sacrifice, redemption, trust and most of all love all wrapped up within minutes. It’s one of those moments that forever stays with you, forever haunts you.
I love this show and these brothers.
As I have made mention before, the supernatural world may not be real, but what these two characters represent, is very real.
Thanks Jas this was wonderful!
Hey everyone! I want to express my thoughts and feelings here on this side, first I want to say, I discovered your side per coincidence and I am so thankful to have found this side. I love reading all your metas and I am SPECIALLY THANKFUL to read about Sam`s motivations, struggles, his internal side.I love and appreciate the Winchester brothers, both of them and I think you can only have Sam and Dean as a package. They are intertwined and I am caught in the middle, when they fight. But my heart and soul is crushed and shattered because of Sam, he truly broke my heart as a fictional character and I will always carry this character with me in the future even when the serie has long finished.
I am from Germany (and sorry for mistakes) and started to search via internet about SN since S4E9 aired in the USA. At this time in Germany aired S2E22, and I wanted to know more and found out. But I was horrified over comments about Sam, I didn`t expect such mean and hateful attacks.
In 2-3 months I watched all of season 3 and season 4 and started to watch via internet S4E11 and since then I watch every week with all of you.
I really really love your meta about Sam and it reached my heart and I am beyond shattered right now. The time after I watched the episode first, I felt relieved for Sam, I thought, Sam gave himself up in such peace and freedom and it was an incredible….(I have not the right words)…. moment in his life, his last moment, I think, Sam carried a huge burden in himself, and this since the serie started and it became only more and more. I was so proud of him and sad, and I was so proud of Dean, he wanted to be with his brother in his dying moment, and was ready to die with him.
It was hard to watch season 5 with Dean showing Sam that he didn`t really trust him and what you said about Sam how he must have felt, it is hard. I wanted so badly the return of the necklace and I want that Sam comes back as Sam, as a “whole” Sam somehow. And I don`t want to have Sam go away from that streetlamp in the darkness, because he thinks Dean is better without him. My first reaction to see Sam standing there was “this is pure Sam, nobody else”. He looked a bit sad, a bit blank, even like he didn`t really know.
I think like you Sam needed redemption for himself, but not in my eyes.
The episode was epic and after a while my worries simply started, because I read what SG said about season 6. And I can`t see Sam rotting in hell forever when this would have been the absolut final episode of the whole series. Either they both would have died and gone to heaven, of course together, or Sam would have been pulled out and could say “good bye” to Dean and goes to heaven, so Dean can live and followes Sam when his time is coming.
But for now I am finished, but want to thank you for your wonderful thoughts about Sam!!!!
tee hee “gentle soul”
Oh Sam… I both loved him and hated him so passionately when he jumped in the cage… Free Will won – yay…!
I also fell in love with Sam, and even more with Jared, this season… All that angst (and comedy) got to me!
I love this article, Jasminka! Beautiful job! =D (As with all of them!)
Joelsteinlover, Evelyn, ARIS, Karen, Shadow and gentlesoul, folks, welcome and thanks for your comments!
Joelsteinlover, isn’t it wonderful that we can actually love BOTH characters? Thank you so much! If you want to go into psychology, just go ahead, I bet you will find it fascinating. I know I do.
Evelyn, you’re right, it is a tricky thing – trust. It goes both ways: being trusted and trust oneself, trust another to hold true to their trust. It is also one of the most painful experiences to lose it, as Sam had to live through.
I am quite optimistic that Sam will be able to go on a changed person. He really grew up, more than that: Dean was able to let him grow up and look at Sam at eye level. That alone will help Sam a great deal to recover. And I am with you in hoping that Sam will shed that chip on his shoulder because of his demon blood heritage. What he got after this ordeal, hopefully is much more… love, trust, faith and strength.
ARIS, I am happy to match your feelings of Sam. He had to take a lot of flak in season four, well, I couldn’t understand, either, why that had to be. Dean was frightened, traumatized, hurt… he also thought to be doing the right thing, just as Sam did. Both suffered their personal version of hell…
Karen, you look into my heart so often, you know that? That’s always there: what these characters represent. They are fictional, not real, not at all, but their emotions are. Many of us have felt some of those, experienced loss, pain, hopelessness….
Shadow – welcome to the site! Und hallo nach Deutschland! In welcher Ecke steckst Du?
I am honoured to have been able to ring a bell with you in regard to your feelings on Sam. Thank you for laying those out in that elaborate manner – and don’t worry, your English is just fine!!
If you like, you can go to the achive section, there you will find some more articles on Sam to devour. We will keep the metas coming. Promise.
Do keep coming back here. I’m sure you will find it welcoming and fun-loving…
gentlesoul, hehe, that’s sweet… Thank you, your comments always mean a lot to me, too.
Folks, so generous always… Thanks!! May good angels watch over you, Jas
Thanks for this wonderful tribute to Sam. I love both brothers, & my heart aches thinking about what they have been through in their young lives. I know they are only fictional, but it doesn’t make me love them any less!
Dawn
Hi Jasminka, I am from Heidelberg and where does your german come from?
I discovered this side a few months ago, and I already read the other metas. I even copied some of them and put it in another board (but with the source and the name of the writers).
I was glad about every meta regarding Sam and btw I loved the Bobby-meta sooooo much, don`t know who has written it, but doesn`t matter for now.
As much as I loved the other metas, I needed this time to make a statement. It is so beautiful and heart gripping like the final episode was. I am still moved from your words -and the episode!
Sam said in “FTBYAM” he is “a riddle wrapped inside an enigma wrapped around a taco” and this is how he felt about himself and the show showed(for me) not enough from his inner turmoils. So I am so beyond thankful to find such terrific articles like yours. And it is written with your “heart blood” that is how I feel reading it!
Someone said here these moments of “flashlights” of brotherly love, connection, support and this final supreme sacrifice Sam made in surrender to a higher power, let go of the world, falling back so beautifully free from ALL, will forever haunting her is how I feel too. It was an epic unforgettable moment and makes me teary again!
I am looking forward to more!! Again thank you thank you thank you!!!!!
Shadow, hi, I live in the SouthWest of Germany, near Rottweil, actually.
I’m happy you found this site and enjoy what we do here so much. It’s an honour to hear that, really. It always moves me beyond description.
You are so sweet and absolutely right – mostly I pour a lot of my ‘heart’s blood’ into it.
Do come back. There are so many great articles of my fellow writers to discover. Just hit the archive button and go on a expedition…
Love, thank you so much again, Jas
Oh Jas, you did it again!
What a beautiful piece. Others before me have gushed and I will try not to reiterate…but wow.
And you’re absolutely right! It was love that won the day. And, now that you’ve got me thinking on it, it was love that won the day when John took over from Azazel. That wasn’t anger in Papa’s eyes, it was desperation to save his son. And it wasn’t anger in Bobby’s eyes when he took the wheel back. It was love, always love. I wonder if it was a mother’s natural love (even for an unnatural child) that allowed Julia to take back control in IBTCAOF.
Earlier in the season, Lucifer wanted Sam to fan the flames of his anger. Makes sense now. Lucifer probably knew that the one thing he couldn’t fight/control/master was Sam’s love for his brother.
Dean: “Well, we’re working on the power of love.â€
Kripke gave away the ending and I never saw it coming.
Oh, and Randal (if you read this) I hope to plagiarize you in the future. “Love, the ultimate middle finger.†FANTASTIC!
Dawn, so sorry to have overlooked your comment earlier – Thank you so much! There’s nothing wrong with loving fÃctional characters. I have done so ever since I began to read. And this is not much different. Except that we’re given the fine eye candy in advance and don’t have to make it up in our minds… Shallow? Oops, guilty as charged. 🙂 Thanks, dear. Jas
Yvonne, you’re so right. I don’t think Randal would mind us using his undying phrase. He has a habit of coming up with great words like this – by the way, where are you, beloved Librarian of the Yanks?
I love your thought of Lucifer depending on Sam’s anger to ‘overcome’ his love for his brother. But that, wonderfully, proved to be the stronger force. It’s not cheesy to root for love, always? If so, then cover me in cheese. I’d be a smelling, but loving gal…
Thank you for your dear comment. Have I mentioned lately that it’s absolutely great that you found us? Love chatting with you, be it serious stuff or plain nonsense. We speak that fluently.
Love, Jas
Jas, so sorry this is so late, but I’m so behind with reading all the articles on the site!
What an amazing and heartfelt examination of Sam’s redemption. I, for one, was extremely relieved that he was able to have his redemption, even though it came at a horrible price for him and for Dean. As usual, you’ve gotten to the emotional heart of the matter in a most eloquent way. I really enjoyed reading this, so thanks for writing it.
Love, Flamey.
Thank you much, Flamey, for reading this and your sweet words. I couldn’t be more relieved, too, that Sam found redemption after all… Don’t apologize for being behind with reading the articles on this site. We all have a life apart from this site and sometimes there might be troubles working it all out…
Love ever, Jas
I do love Dean but I’ve been a devoted Sam girl since the show began and I’d just like to thank you for such a wonderful article about Sam. I was so proud of him in Swan Song making that final sacrifice and so relieved that he finally got the redemption he so desperately wanted for himself even if I was a sniffling mess of tears whilst watching these things happen.
Martha and Sajah, ladies, thank you!
Martha, don’t worry, you were not the only one in tears when following Sam’s journey… I’m happy to have been able to touch you with this article enough that you decided to comment on it. Thank you so much.
Sajah, I agree, I guess the notion of being in control eased in many ways the fear he had of his own fate… but he overpowered that in a beautiful manner. Sometimes the greatest sacrifice can also be the greatest gift and rescue, don’t you think?
Cheers Jas
Jas,
I’ve been meaning to read this one for so long…well, I finally did it!
This was beautiful…and I completely agree with your analysis that at the end it is Sam looking with favor upon Dean inside Lisa’s house, trying to make a new start, trying to go on without him.
Sam really (and somewhat finally) was able to come into his own here and I enjoy the ride these five years have been for him, rebellion and revenge to seeking his now-dead father’s approval to save Dean to seek revenge and then use what was thrust upon him without his consent and make something good out of it to realizing with horror how he allowed himself to be manipulated to finally taking control. He, Sam, decided to let Lucifer in and while initially he was not able to gain the upper hand it is obvious he never stopped swinging, as Bobby instructed, and in the end, love and the bond that is/was the strongest in his life gave him to strength to overcome.
It is a magnificent journey (even if it at times it was said and can be said that it wasn’t always evenly written) and I cannot wait (even though I have to) to see where the next step of that journey takes Sam and us.
Thank you for putting into words such a complex thought process and sharing.
This is really beautiful and expresses everything that I feel. I never looked at Sam with unforgiving eyes either and never wanted him to feel so unworthy. I, too, hope that he can now have the peace he deserves.
Elle2 and Sonya, you commented! Thank you!
Elle2, I am a tad late with responding to your comment, so sorry about that -but I need to thank you for it. I do believe that love is able to provide us with strength to do what we need to do. I won’t ever stop believing it, simply because I have to.
Sonya, I am honoured that I was able to put into words what you feel about Sam. Let’s hope together, then, that Sam will find some kind of peace – though we know how unlikely that is in this show. They just love to torture the Winchesters…
Best wishes and take care, Jas