Ah, season 14. A season I didn’t care for at all. I’m trying to remember if there was even an episode I liked in this season. Oh right, that one.
I hated season 14 so much, I didn’t even bother to do an Editor’s Choice award. Well that and the summer of 2019 was a bit volatile for me. So why do one now? Closure. I’ve done one for every single season except this one. I need to make sure my archive is complete. Will I be kind to this season now that I’ve had a chance to step back and re-familiarize myself with its work? Not a chance.
I’m going to avoid heaping praise on the best episode of the season, “Lebanon” because I already did that in the S14 Fan Choice Awards. I’ll be catering the awards to the rest of the episodes. However, once or twice with this set of awards, “Lebanon” was just clearly the best choice.
Enough of my introductive ramblings. Let’s get on with the awards!
Best Appearance of Sam Winchester’s Hair
“Stranger in a Strange Land”
It’s really tough to award this one this season. After all, Sam’s hair was pretty good all season. The hairdressers were really paying attention. But this episode won because it offered a little bonus. Not only did we get the perfect, well styled mop on the top of his head, but there was that perfect grief beard as well. Not too long, but long enough to send the message that something was definitely askew with Sam when Dean wasn’t around.
The hair and beard even held up when he was kicking demon ass. Just a win all over.
Worst Appearance of Sam Winchester’s Hair
It’s another one of those “intentionally bad for a reason” but ugh. Glad this was an AU that never happened! Hair tragedy avoided!
Most Outrageous Dean Winchester Line
Dean: It’s just every time I think about it, you know, it’s like a — it’s like a nightmare. I mean, I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. It’s always just there, watching.
Sam: Dean, it’s just a beard. I’ve been a little busy lately.
Dean: Yeah, well, that’s not an excuse. You know, ’cause, uh, “Duck Dynasty” called, and they just — they want it all back.
Dean just came back from being Michael too! Sorry Deano, but you’re wrong about the beard.
“Don’t Go Into The Woods”
Dean: What you looking at? Porn? Sex tapes? Nip slips?
Sam: The Internet is more than just naked people. You do know that, right?
Dean: Not my Internet.
Dean owns a bar? Pamela Barnes, with her eyes, is his partner? They serve drinks, kill monsters, and have an all out good time living the dream. Sure I knew it was a setup from the word go, but I didn’t care. It was so nice to see Dean in a happy place. This is what I visualized his Heaven to be. Heck, this is my Heaven!
Just about everything else.
Okay, fine, if I must pick, I’ll pick anything that had Nick in the opener. That would be “Unhuman Nature,” “Damaged Goods,” and “Game Night.” He’s brutally torturing and killing, all for no reason at all other than he can. I still don’t understand how this made an intriguing story! But ranting about it would bring attention to it, and I’d rather forget.
Although this could have easily gone to the man eating Gorgon fixing his liver dinner in a nice chef’s kitchen with the man he took it from dead on the counter in “Ouroboros.” That was rather disturbing, too. I’m giving it a bit more credit though because at least we got to understand the motivation of the Gorgon and it’s a MOTW we haven’t seen before. Nick’s story didn’t offer that satisfaction at all.
Harper the necromancer – “Optimism”
I liked her. She was pretty upbeat and funny for someone who could raise the dead and killed her lovers. Her scenes with Jack were great. My only disappointment was at the end when she got away, wrote that creepy letter to Jack promising that she would kill him and bring him back so they could be together, and then we never saw her again! Way to leave a promising plot thread hanging.
Nick. I won’t elaborate too much, but what the Hell were they thinking? Each scene with Nick just dragged everything down worse and worse until his scenes grew impossible to watch. Did anyone remember this guy was human? Then why was he winning every fight and constantly killing people with ease? This isn’t exactly Chuck Norris. There was no believability to his story.
Not to knock the acting job that Jensen did, but he did the best with the crap he was given. But the character just didn’t work. He was too angry, too laser focused in his revenge, and his motivation just didn’t make any sense. He was mad at Chuck and wanted to destroy everything he created. He was a flipping archangel. Just start zapping. The whole turning monsters into super allies made no sense.
Dishonorable, Dishonorable Mention
Chuck, although that’s really more of an season 15 argument. Still, it really put a perplexing twist on an already shiftless season.
Episode Where I Can’t Remember a Damn Thing That Happened
I went through the episode titles, and I had to wrack my brain to remember what happened in this episode before going through the synopsis. Turns out, not much. Right Dark Kaia. No wonder I didn’t remember it.
Best Surprise Appearance by an Ancient and Supposedly Long Dead Creature
For those that read their bible, it’s the grandfather of Noah and the person recorded with the longest life at 969 years. Looks like reports of his death were a little exaggerated. I think “immortal” might be a better label. Judging by his attitude, sounds like he’s praying for death. How ironic.
Best Location for an Episode
Ratan, New Mexico. Have they ever done an episode from New Mexico before? Okay, they did in season fifteen, but that doesn’t count for this exercise! Knock one more state off the to-do list.
Most Ludicrous Plot Twist Straight Out of Fan Fiction
“Jack in the Box’
I need about 1000 suns to stress just how wrong and awful this entire plot twist was. Just where do I begin? First, why would Sam and Dean do this after being consumed by grief over Jack’s death in “Byzantium?” Why would they do this after Jack said this when killing Michael?
I’m not a child! I’m the son of Lucifer. I’m a hunter! I am a Winchester!
He is one of them! He is family! Sam prayed to Jack, lying to him, so they could trap him?? Sam??? What show were these writers watching? Why would Sam choose to give Jack, a son to him, the same horrible fate that he fought Dean like mad to avoid? What happened to “we’ll find another way” Sam? I get that Dean was lost in grief, but he had those dreams about being trapped inside the Ma’lax box. Did he really want that for Jack? Sadly, based on his behavior in season 15, apparently so. But that’s another topic for discussion, ‘WTF happened to Dean Winchester?”
How about why would Sam and Dean betray Jack like that, when there was no sign leading up to this that they would ever do this. Sure, they were a little worried, but this? He’s family. It made no f***ing sense. Of course then “Moriah” happened after this, and Dean couldn’t kill Jack. Then they made Chuck the villain. Oh yes, fan fiction plotting at its finest.
Worst Character Death
You know, I was going to give this to Mary Winchester, but meh. She already died once, its kind of been done now. Besides, her return was less than compelling.
No, the worst one was Maggie. All that time turning this scared girl into a brave hunter to dispose of her like garbage? She had such spunk and moxie! Why couldn’t Jack resurrect her after taking Michael’s power?
BTW, this award could also be “Dumbest Thing Done by a Winchester” too. What the f*** was Dean thinking? If he’s knocked unconscious, which does happen often in his line of work, didn’t he think that might free Michael? WHY THE F*** DID DEAN GO ON A DANGEROUS HUNT WHERE HE COULD BE KNOCKED UNCONSCIOUS AND LET MICHAEL LOOSE? Dumb, dumb. There’s a reason Billie wanted him to lock himself in a box.
It just sounds like the writers got bored, but once again they were a bit too nonchalant about a character death for the sake of a flimsy plot. The hunters needed their next generation. She could have been running the MOL one day. I have a fanwank Jack brought her back to do that.
The Most Awkward of Supernatural Season 14
Hey, I love a good bro hug as much as the next fan, but Sam’s face pretty much mirrors my reaction. Strangest…bro…hug…ever. Did you forget Dean that you’re trying to hide the truth about the Ma’lax box to Sam? No, this isn’t tipping him off at all that something is wrong.
Best “One Tortured Look Tells the Entire Heart Crushing Story” Moment
I remember this. I remember how devastated Sam was over Jack’s death. The feeling that he had lost a son. The feeling he couldn’t do anything right, especially when he broke the axe while chopping wood to build a funeral pyre. You know, real, hard core grief. It crushed my heart to pieces. Apparently, others on the writing team did not watch this episode, or they wouldn’t have written the outcome of “Jack in the Box” (yes I’m still bitter!). Just for supporting evidence, here’s two other photos to show how devastated he was.
Best (or possibly Worst?) Display of Testosterone to Imitate a Christmas Themed Action Movie
Dean: So zero element of surprise.
Sam: Walking right into a trap.
Castiel: Which is set by a full-powered archangel.
Impossible odds. Feels like home. Let’s do it.
Cue “Ode to Joy”
I imagine the reaction was split 50/50 between “HELL YEAH!” and “Meh.” I was actually on the “HELL YEAH!” side until the wimpy confrontation happened next. Not exactly the homage Die Hard deserved.
Worst Double Feature to Watch on an Airplane When You’re a Captive Audience
“Absence” and “Jack in the Box”
Yes, I had a stretch of busy life in season 14 that prevented me from watching Supernatural for a month. So, while I was on an airplane flying back from California during season 15, I saw these as my in-flight entertainment options and said “Why not?” My answer was received about 1 1/2 hours later. It was definitely a mixed bag experience. After all, I was already stuck on the plane, that time is going nowhere, so why not knock out some bad episodes of Supernatural? I couldn’t claim after watching, “I’ll never get that two hours of my life back,” but I was left so empty and confused after watching them. Since when was Mary mother of the year? Her whole death felt so contrived, and it created a long drawn out eye-rolling drama that went almost all the way to the end of the show. Then after “Jack in the Box,” I was actually kind of pissed. I wanted to punch something, but do that on a plane these days, you’re on a permanent no-fly list. So, I just resolved that I’ll never have to watch them again.
Someday I’ll watch “Don’t Go Into the Woods,” probably when I buy the DVD sets of the later years that I never bought on mega clearance…and have time to watch them. But fear not, it will happen. All of these episodes are on my “Reviews that I Missed” list. Look for some major ranting when I get around to them.
Best Sign that The Winchesters Have Truly Messed Up the Entire World
Sam: Where’s Jessica?
Violet the Reaper: Well, my name’s Violet. It’s my shift. We have shifts now, because you mess up so, so many things.
Honestly, was Billie wrong about that?
Best Defense of an Overworked Sibling Going Through Some Trying Times While Sticking his Foot in his Mouth
Dean to Bobby about Sam: He’s doing his best. He’s doing better than his best. You know, this whole Hunter Five-O thing — he’s — he’s killing himself over it. He doesn’t eat, he doesn’t sleep, grew himself one of those Kenny Rogers beards. No offense.
Sorry Dean, Bobby still has the true, blue Kenny Rogers beard. Now if they had only given AU Bobby a better hat.
That’s all I’ve got. Anything more would force me to recall more of this season, and I’ve given myself enough pain. Any awards I missed? Share your choices in the comments.
Read More of Alice’s Supernatural insights! Links to all her articles can be found on Alice’s Writer’s Page.