Let’s Speculate: Supernatural 13.09 “The Bad Place”

This episode titled “The Bad Place” begins with two people making out in an art studio. There’s a knock on the door and Jack is there. Apparently Disaster Artist is a dreamwalker. Come on, he so looks like Disaster Artist James Franco. Anyway, Jack is like yo, you walk in dream, here’s some money and hack the other world for me, okay? Franco is a poor artist so he’s like sure, man. Then there’s like some ritual that includes a really small hot tub. Franco enters the other world and wants back out but Jack hitches a mind ride and then appears to electrocute poor Franco with his devil juice.

Back in Bunko land, Dean’s calling Missouri’s grandbaby, Patience, to help find Jack with her spiritual GPS. He leaves a message then Jody calls to tell him and Sam that their stepbaby, Jack, is off killing dream walkers. Then we see Patience is looking at her phone, with six missed calls from stalker Dean (because really, dude, three is like overmuch). Patience tells her dad that the Winchesters want her help and like any sane parent, he’s like hell no and get your dang grades back up to As.

Up in North Dakota, Sam and Dean find out from Franco’s girlfriend that Jack showed up. She also tells them that her boyfriend was a dreamwalker. The brothers also see the creepy devil picture Franco was working on before he died. In the car, Dean is like I think our boy might have gone from crawling to murdering, Sam. Sam’s like, no, that’s just like adolescent manpain and plus here’s a distraction because Franco was in a dreamwalker Boys and Girls Club and there’s another amateur walker, Kaia.

Then we meet Kaia, who is at a narcotics anonymous meeting. And in the stereotypical move, she’s totally angry and not willing to share because you know, spirit stuff. Jack shows up though because his last ride to the alterworld totally broke a transmission.

Kaia is like hey, Jack. And Jack, in a really badly planned Winchester fraud move, claims to like cocaine. Oh, Jack. *pats his hand*

Jack wants Kaia’s help so he gets her out of the jail AT THE VERY SAME MOMENT SAM AND DEAN SHOW UP. Synchronicity, man. That’s some strong universe stuff. So Kaia and Jack get out and she’s “later, gator.” He tries to grab her but Sam and Dean show up. Kaia skips out while Sam and Dean tend to their kind of spawn, I guess, Jack. They think he killed Franco (which was a legitimate guess, by the way), but when he left, poor spun out dreamwalker was left alive. He told Jack about Kaia. Jack is like I’m trying to help you, daddies. Then he explains that he can’t really get to the alterworld or see it, so he needs eyes. So he wants to do a little soul Hannibal Lectoring. Just a little. Then he shares his vision (or Franco’s really) with them and shows them Mary. Who, as we all know, is alive. Now she’s being tortured too. That sucks for her.

There’s some solemn music as Dean regains hope. Of course, the scene changes and poor Kaia gets her butt snatched by angels.

Jack, Sam, and Dean figure out that Kaia is gone while Patience is back at home and decides she’s going to help the Winchesters. Her father, WHO IS SANE AND SMART, warns her that she won’t be able to come back. She leaves anyway because pilot!!!!

In the angel warehouse, Kaia is skeptical of these angels but when Sam and Dean show up with Juiced Up Jack, she becomes a believer. They try to get her to agree to be Mary GPS, which she’s like no, dreamwalking is really just not a good thing. Every time she dreams the poor girl gets run through the flaying machine, hence her scars. Dean is like, oh hell no, get in the car (and pulls a gun on her). He announces that they’re going to South Dakota. Sam’s kind of shocked.

Sam, in the car, is asking Dean if it’s smart to force a teenage girl to do something she doesn’t want to do. Dean is like Mom or Bust, Sam. I mean, we’re totally committing a felony by crossing state lines with a kidnapped teen but ALTERWORLD, Sam. Don’t lose the mission statement, Flip End Boy.

Of course, they don’t get to further the discussion since an angel, who can’t teleport now, decides to play chicken with the Impala in a 1980s family car. The Winnappers, aka kidnappers/Winchester portmanteau, race to an abandoned boat. Dean confronts the angel, who becomes angels, while Sam graffitis the hell out of the ship. Of course, RULE CHANGE. Angels can totally now Blue Man Group away the sigils with their angel blades that are SWISS ARMY RHYTHM STICKS.

Kaia, who is like well damn the kidnappers might be better than the really angry accountants, agrees to risk physical harm to transport the better looking version of the Benders (hahaha congrats to me on that call back). While Blue Man Angels start getting the rhythm of their nation going, Kaia gets electrified with the spirit and screams like a choking banshee. Visions of tortured Mary, Bill and Ted’s hooded companion, and some big ass dog head (totally calling Fenrir here) dance alongside the sugar plums in our heads. Then BAM, bright light, angels down, and the boys and girl gone.

The final act has Jody talking to Patience who says bad things are a’coming, my sheriffed friend. Then, then, the beautiful sequence where Jack wakes up at Mother Mary’s feet while Dean and Sam awaken to this new ALTERWORLD where they end up in a BIG OL’ FOOTPRINT. A FOOTPRINT. That totally explains the big Fenrir head but I think it’s a bird or a pterodactyl! OH OR IT’S A GRIFFIN.

And so begins Superjurassic World or Marvel’s Supernatural. I’m still deciding on a name.

Come on down, y’all, we probably got us some DINOSAURS. Or perhaps mythical creatures from the land of Oz. Or Hela’s dog. Or who knows. The question is: what will happen on Planet Hulk now?

Specs, Questions, Thoughts: