So much went into this 42 minutes. A lot of it is unlike anything we’ve ever seen on this show before. I’ll do my best to analyze, but forgive me if some scenes leave me at a loss for words!
I’m going to skip over a lot of the first part here. It’s long and quite frankly, I don’t get into the vampire craze. I’ve never really dug vampire lore. I’ve never read “Twilight” or seen any of the movies, I’ve never seen “Tru Blood” and while I do watch “The Vampire Diaries” that’s more for their good character driven stories than it is the vampire stuff. So, while this spoof here is okay, emo vampire lures the girl and it’s super easy, it didn’t do much for me.
Girl in in a bar, she’s underaged, she has a fake id, she meet the emo vampire she came to see, they talk, mostly about her really bad poetry online, he woos her, he resists biting into her when she starts bleeding (wait, that’s a clue), he takes her into the alley and the dumb girl is expecting a room full of velvet. I do like her observation instead about the outside of his place. “It smells like pee.” This is “Supernatural,” so no romance here babe. Girl gets attacked by big vampire with some really wild hair that looks like Animal from The Muppets and that’s it for her.
Two things came out of this opening sequence scene that struck me. First, a few of these goth dudes were drinking Rogue Dead Guy Ale. It’s really good, yet quite expensive beer. Not something you expect in a goth bar. More like a yuppie tavern, despite the name. Ah well, they deserve the product placement. Also, I didn’t catch this initially but read about it later and thought it was funny. Sera Gamble is a huge fan of the Twilight series. She knows all her facts. Apparently, the scene where Edward meets Bella is when he catches an apple she drops. So, in this scene, Robert the vamp end ups catching Kristen’s apple…as in iPod by Apple. So there you go Twilight fans, you’ve been spoofed by technology!
If there’s EVER an episode that represents shattered glass, it’s this one. Poor Dean, my heart is breaking just thinking about it.
We’re outside the Limestone Police Department and judging by the girl’s fake id from earlier it’s Limestone, IL. Dean is outside next to the Impala talking to Lisa on the phone. Yep, he’s close by and hopes to wrap up a few things before coming to see her. Lisa is really excited and aww, aren’t these two sweet. Dean of course jokes that he’ll have to make sure he’s not followed, and will have to take side streets and all that. “Just shut up and get your ass home,” she says. Hmm, she’s calling it his home. I wonder if Dean still sees it that way. She is getting tired of the phone thing and can’t wait to see him, but still warns him to be careful. Oh, poor girl. Her heart’s in the right place, but this arrangement is going to end so badly. I hope its not death for her.
Dean hangs up and Sam arrives. Oh yeah, tender moment over. Sam wants to know what he’s stoked about, but Dean moves onto the case. Six girls have gone missing in seven days which is definitely unusual for the area. “And cute,” Dean says, noticing the pictures. Sam finds that amusing. “Ice cream comes in lots of flavors Sam.” Hmm, interesting joke considering he just got off the phone with Lisa. Sam is all business, for these six girls are all in the their late teens and fit a profile. A seventh is missing now, so it’s time to go visiting.
Might I note this is the boring part of the ep, so if I speed along here and there, don’t mind me. They talk to the dad, who calls his daughter good and naive, but girls can be hard. Sam and Dean have no idea what that means into they go into the girl’s room. It’s all decked out in vampire. There are posters of the hot vamps that are obviously Twilight ripoffs including a life sized one on the back door. “These aren’t vampires man, these are douchebags,” Dean says.
They look around and Sam finds her laptop. He opens it and up comes one of those vampire douchebags as the desktop background. “That’s just…uncomfortable,” Sam says. Considering Sam’s shared a cage in Hell with Lucifer, that says a lot. Sam finds her, oh let’s say social networking account, and tries to guess the password. Dean picks up a copy of “My Summer Blood” and wow is it ripe. “Look at this. He’s watching her sleep, how is that not rapey?” Sam isn’t in the mood for jokes since he’s trying to concentrate.
Dean doesn’t care, for he’s still having fun mocking the book. “He could hear the blood rushing inside her, almost taste it. He tried desperately to control himself. Romero knew it was impossible.” That’s actually funny, for that’s exactly the struggle Dean has later when he’s turned. It isn’t so romantic, is it? Dean stops for he’s had enough. “Romero, really?” Sam obviously, proving he’s definitely not himself, tells Dean to shut up. Normally Sam is great at tuning Dean out. “This is a national bestseller,” Dean says appalled, not caring too much that Sam is getting agitated. He tells Sam to try Lautner for the password, since that kid is everywhere and it’s a freaking nightmare. Nope. Sam asks how many t’s are in Pat- that’s it! Pattinson.
Her inbox is full from some guy claiming to be a vampire. They speculate whether he’s for real or not. After all, girls like Kristen here would make for easy prey for vamps. “These chicks are just throwing themselves at you. All you’ve got to do is write, I don’t know, write bad poetry.” â€˜Bout time Sam made a funny. They figure out she met the guy at a place called The Black Rose. Vampire or perv? Um, both? Next is a gruesome scene of a bloodmobile being robbed. Okay, next!
Sam is on the phone, verifying with the person on the other end that he’s 100 percent sure its vampires. It’s Grandpa! Aww, family moment. Yep, young girls go missing, bloodmobile van gets jumped, this is the fourth town. Except this last time the driver was found with his throat ripped out. How lovely. Sam is having trouble connecting all the dots. “If they’ve already got walking, talking juice bars, why bother with the bloodmobile, it doesn’t add up.” Samuel tells Sam to find the nest and figure it out. Oh, don’t say that Gramps. You have no idea how far Sam will go to follow that order.
Now the brothers are in the goth bar from earlier. Dean notices as far as emo goes, they’ve hit ground zero. Dean even notices the waitress outfit. “She wears all that rubber to the beach?” Sam isn’t in the mood for conversation, for he’s too busy scoping. He even ignores Dean’s question, “When was the last time we had a beer together anyway?” Just before Sam decided to say yes to Lucifer, in Bobby’s yard. That’s when. That is so sad. Sam instead starts pointing out candidates. They come up with three, until one of them starts kissing another guy. Two! Sam and Dean make their moves. “You’ve got Effron, I’ve got Bieber.” Dean again and his pet names. Gold star to the person who remembers my special pet name for Dean.