Cass " This is a genuine FBI badge you know, not a forgery"

Dean * Give me strength...*

No, we’re not the FBI, we’re the IBF.

Dean: Cas? Its upside down

Cas: The pizza man said it looks better upside down

?????

Dean " Columbo here is new ..."

Dean * I feel like I'm in a really bad version of The Hardy Boys*
Cass "I can hear you*

Dean: "Hes new."

Cas: "If new means older than Methuselah."

Cas: "Who is this Constantine fellow you speak of? Clearly my name is-"

Cas: "That would be Agent Constantine to you, Sheriff. If that was my name which clearly it is not as is evidenced by my badge here."

Cas: "We're here to interrogate the Other, Other Winchester."

Deputy Sherriff: "The who?"

Dean: "I believe he goes by Nate?"

Cas: "The one in charge of the outfit!"

Deputy: "Outfit? You mean like a gang? Or criminal organization?"

Dean: "Not gang. Or uh, criminal organization-"

Cas: "Though it is criminal the way he runs it."

Dean: "See, hes family. At least I think he is-"

Deputy: "Family? Like "Make you an offer you can't refuse"? That kind of "Family"?"

Dean: "What? No. No, no offers... No swimming with fishes..."

Deputy: "What?"

Dean: "What?"

Cas: "I'd like to leave something for him to find in his bed-"

Deputy: "Wait a minute now. We talkin' Deliverance here? You'd best believe we dont cowtow to no incest either! Or Mafia, or street gangs flashing colors or swimming with the fishes - what kind of town do you think I run?"

Cas: "Cowtow?"

Dean: "Put up with."

Cas: "Yes. Just like I am not going to put up with anymore shirking of duty. There is a weekly task, a responsibility put before him. He has been chosen and yet he flaunts this honor in our face every chance he gets. And I thought Kevin Tran was bad. Perhaps I shall smite this Winchester and let another take his place. The Captioner known as Marian is a qualified writer, quick of wit. She could-"

Dean: "No! No smiting. Don't you think you're getting a bit carried away here?"

Deputy: "We arent fond of smiting either-"

Cas: "But you said yourself how important it is to Sam. And it brings such joy to millions."

Dean: "Millions?"

Cas: "Thousands. very popular upstairs."

Dean: "With the God Squad?
Then why don't they ever participate?"

Cas: "It is forbidden. With our superior intellect and vast knowledge no human would ever be able to compete."

Deputy: "Even Marian?"

Dean: "What?"

Deputy: "What?"

Cas: "I am afraid I'm going to have to erase his memory now. He's heard too much."

Deputy: "Hold on there. No ones wiping anyone's memory. Besides I have a great idea for an entry! Look, I'll put out an APB on this guy and give you a call when we have a line on him. How'd that be?"

Cas: "Depends. Whisper your caption in my ear. I'm sort of pulling for Marian..."
*listens* "Alright you're safe. You clearly suck at captioning. You could always make a crossroads deal if you really wanted to excel at it."

Dean: "No. No deals either. No one is going to be selling their soul for a weekly contest that you can't even impress chicks or win any scratch at! Besides, the last time anybody tried a deal was AlyCat and you know how that turned out..."

Deputy: "Well? How? Dont leave me hangin'. Ain't no shrinking violet. Seasoned pro here. I've seen a lot in my time on the force."

Dean: "Let's just say it wasnt pretty and leave it at that."

Deputy: "That bad? Well some things are better left unsaid. But speaking of pretty, what's this guy look like?"

Dean: "No one knows. It's like hes a ghost. I don't know that anyone has ever seen him."

Cas: "Right. An APB out on a spirit. That should work."

Deputy: "Alright. It's out on the wire. BOLO for Casper. Any thing else I can do for you cause you've about wasted all the time I have to give and I'd like you to leave.
Now. "

Cas: "I believe a little respect is in order. I'll have you know he shot the Sherriff!"

Deputy: "What?"

Dean: "What? No. No shooting. Thats crazy talk! Hate that song too! No, you've been great. Heres my card should anything come up."

Cas: "There is one more thing-"

******************************

Dean: "Damn it Cas! Why'd you have to do that? We really could have used his help. You cant just go around squeegee-ing mem-"

Cas: "The less mankind knows about my kind, the better. Not to mention your slaying of the Sheriff."

Dean: "Demon. Demon Sherriff!"

Cas: "Semantics." Besides I could do without any more competition. It's very difficult. Nate is a harsh judge. Harsh, but fair. And the Deputies caption was good."

Dean: "This is about the contest? I thought you said-"

Cas: "I lied. Didnt you just tell me when you want something really, really, bad that that is what you should do?"

Dean: "That's not quite what I meant-"

Cas: "Plus who knows. I may want to be President some day! So, let's go find this Nate fellow and get him back on track."

Dean: "Its a game Cas. A game. Hes not a prophet and this isnt the Tet Offensive!"

Cas: "As a true Captioneer I find your words offensive.
Please come up with another metaphor you've ground that one into the mud."

Dean: "Run that one into the ground."

Cas: "Really? The way I said it makes more sense. We need to leave. And Dean?
Don't even think about submitting your own entry. Afterall I raised you from the Pit, I can throw you back in!"

Dean: "Hardcore much? So much for your superior intellect and vast knowledge. Remind me never to play Monopoly with you!"

Cas: "You should see me play Twister."

Dean: "Ew. Gross. No thank you."

Cas: "He shot the Sheriff."