NIGHT RITUAL

Sam: "It's just an empty room Dean. I'm a big boy."

Dean: "Of course. But you can never be too sure. Don't argue. Older brothers know best-"

Sam: "On occasion?"

Dean: "ALWAYS. Hey! PJs. No sleeping in your T shirt again."

Sam: "What about you?"

Dean: "T shirt? Oh, I don't think that's really gonna be a problem tonight. Annnnd the closet's all clear. Did you brush your teeth?"

Sam: "Yeah, but we're out of floss. You forgot under the bed!"

Dean: "Relax Spazz, I'm not done yet. Floss? I'll add it to the list-"

Sam: "The minty kind. Not that cinnamon crap you like."

Dean: "List. Floss. Minty. No cinnamon crap. Check. I'm officially declaring your bed to be a Monster Free Zone. Nothing under or over. Got your blankie?"

Sam: "And Lovie. Leave the light on low, please."

Dean: "Okie Dokey. The Bowie's under my pillow. You're set."

Sam: "Story."

Dean: "Sorry bro, no time. Go to sleep now. Lovies await."

Sam: "Lovies. As in two? Plural?"

Dean: "If three is considered plural, then yeah."

Sam: "That's smart. It's good to have spares on hand in case you love the stuffing out of one too soon. It's always wise to distribute your attention equally."

Dean: "Right. Distribute equally. Don't knock the stuffing out too soon. Got it. Thanks. Don't wait up!"

Sam: "I'm a big boy. I'll wait up if I-"

*Door closes. Sam waits until he can hear the Impala drive away*

Sam: "Finally. I thought he'd never leave! Now. Where's he hiding that new Busty Asian Beauty skin mag... mags! Plural. Always good to have a spare! Awesome. Shall we get started ladies? Oooh... will you look at that? Oh yeah, Dean. I'm a big boy. A VERY big boy!"

*Monster that escaped earlier detection by Dean slinks slowly back under the bed*

Why’d you let me eat those 3 pies, Sammy?

Dean *Well, looks like we'll be eating from the buffet weird*
Sam *Dean's thinking about food again*

Sam: "Let me get this straight. You dreamed you were starring in a western titled Dirt?"

Dean: "Rust."

Sam: "Dust?"

Dean: "Eat your damn food."

Sam: "Let me get this straight. You dreamed you were starring in a Western titled Dust?"

Dean: "Rust!"

Sam: "Whatever you say, Marshall Dillon."

Sam: "So you got a cool name in this western you dreamed your starring in?"

Dean: "Yea! Wood. Marshall Wood Helm."

Sam: "I said a cool name."

Sam: "So your name in this western you dream you're starring in?"

Dean: "Its Marshall. Wood Helm."

Sam: "Sounds like an air freshener."

Sam: "Your name in this Western you dream you star in?"

Dean: "Wood. It's short for-"

Sam: "Woody. Ok Hollywood. Tell Buzz Hi for me."

Jared: Jensen it's in my contract I make the bitch face.


Lime in the Coconut btw Best.Song.Ever.

*Beep*

...Just a quick call to help you extend your warranty...

Sam: "Stuck that way? The guy in the hospital warned you. Beats a hairy palm tho..".

Sam: "More Blue Steel, less Constipation Face."

Sammy, they were Triplets, not twins, but Triplets..damn I just earned me some pie

Welp, the Casa Erotica party isn’t in this room either.