The last episode Hammer of The Gods was not one of the most heartbreaking ones of our favourite show. I was not a complete basket case as I had been after watching e.g. Abandon All Hope or The End.
 
As I finished watching, about 7.45 am Friday morning, shortly before I had to go to work (everyone who had watched the episode on Thursday night was peacefully asleep, I assume, as it was your dead of night), our site was not yet active in terms of people who wanted to talk about it. So I made the mistake of taking a look at a promo of the follow-up episode Thursday next and ever since I was hardly able to concentrate. It seems like all the loose ends are going to be connected now, and it scares the living hell out of me.
 
Who would have thought – speaking of hell – Lucifer could smite gods like swatting a fly? Just like that? Angel versus pagan gods… How is that possible? Is a Judeo-Christian figure supposed to be more powerful than the other religions, ‘who were here first’ to quote Kali? Good question there, dark goddess, but unfortunately in this episode Lucifer was indeed the more vigorous one. He might just be the embodiment of all the dark forces of every belief.
 
So far we have only but speculated about Lucifer’s power, but had not seen it in this dimension. Until now Mark Pellegrino played him quite subtly, with noticeable undercurrents and now he’s turned up the volume. There is no doubt whatsoever anymore about the danger that floods this guy… He is more than a mere angel. He is a force of nature.
 
I was delighted to meet Gabriel again, one of my fave guests on this spectacular show, but devastated as Lucifer killed him, just as I was about to actually like Gabriel who had proved to be more sensible than I had given the narcissist credit for. ‘a lot of them (people) try to do better… to forgive’ He did learn something from his encounters with the Winchesters and he had the courage to keep his eyes open and saw that not every human being is rotten.
 
What happened to the class A bastard – he believed in that flawed species we know as mankind? That was a surprise that moved me. I’d like to believe that the desperate and selfless, self-sacrificing (well, yes) fight of a pair of brothers and their friends to save this unworthy planet and its imperfect inhabitants might have left an impression with Gabriel.
 
What a way to go, though – the ultimate hero, quite the Winchester way. He saved Sam, Dean and the goddess he might love Kali. Who would have expected that Gabriel could turn to be a true knight? Oh, he had a sword alright. Hiding his secret message in a porn video of a Hungarian horn dog was priceless. While nobody has to stay dead on planet Supernatural, I don’t believe we will see him again this season.
 
Hail Richard Spreight Jr! Fantastic job! You will be missed! Let’s hope he might come around again in season six, though I can’t think of a logical reason – in the flow of the myth arc, it seems that the angels have to leave or be killed off. I’ve been wondering if that might mean that Castiel has to go, too?
 
Organically, I think – yes, if that is Kripke’s plan. But I hope they will find a way to keep Misha in the game … well, an angel can fall and become human… Don’t forget Jim Beaver. If those two will be around next season, I might not be hyperventilating again. I’m actually terrified of the next three episodes. If you think I might be in need of medication, you might be just right…
 
This one episode was more of a breather, despite the loss of Gabriel, and the creators usually grant us that before they nail us to the wall. There were some happy and funny moments – Dean loving his pie (though I frankly don’t want to know what that was made of), coming on to Kali and being turned down confusingly, ‘full on Babar’, ‘Hello, my name is Ganesh’, ‘next time I say let’s keep driving… let’s keep driving…’, the couple ‘joint at the lips’… Kali going all Darth Vader on Mercury…
 
Dean almost appeared his old self, stepping up as gutsy as we love him to the gods - since he was out of options… The brothers have each others’ backs again – but after such a history of trauma it’s most unlikely that Dean has left all that troubled him behind just like that. The pain is about to re-surface again. Else the writers would be in danger of reducing the psychological continuity this show has always been accounted for to absurdity, I fear.
 
Well, since Gabriel is capable of changing, there is hope for the angels after all. But for our heroes? I’m not so sure. This looks more and more like the path to the clash of the titans. Something horrific is going to happen. To Sam, in particular, I fear.
 
He gets only about four hours of sleep? A week? That’s unhealthy for anybody, and even more so for Lucifer’s intended vessel who has been labouring on the brink of his own sanity with trying to save Dean from saying yes, trying to find a way to redeem himself, trying to keep that pent up rage under control.
 
It’s been surfacing minimally in the last episodes, but I don’t think the writers will forget an asset like that. Sam vented some of it into killing Famine (presuming the horseman is dead), before that getting his blood shot, and in the fights they had to go through recently.
 
A lot of it, however, went into Sam’s own guts. Materializing in his fear for Dean (and in his desperate attempts to persuade his brother to not give up – to be able to do that he had to hold his anger down) and his frantic fight for another solution (and by that channelling the energy aggression is into something useful). I believe his tremendous and touching hope for Dean and his conviction for Dean’s sake might have soothed some of it – but Sam does not sleep much. Chances are he’s lying awake, pondering about their fate…. Not good.
 
They have a plan now – getting the rings of power (‘Sweet Lord of The Rings’)… will that help Sam come to terms with his inner wrath, but from what I’ve seen in the promos and read about the following episodes, that might not last long.
 
This is not looking good. This season is going to end with me barely breathing at all. What shocks me the most, in a strange and unprepared way, is the intensity this sudden terror of the events to come grips at my soul. I had not expected that at all.
 
There are moments, many of you probably have felt that, too, when I think I have loved this show probably more than I should and spent a lot of time (perhaps too much) writing, thinking, talking about it, promoting it, watching it. A freakin’ TV show, come on!
 
We’ve debated countless times over how and why we are capable of caring that much about fictional characters. For me it has always the authenticity and credibility the characters are drawn despite all the paranormal riff raff. These are real people with real emotions, flawed, imperfect, vulnerable, and able to overcome their fears, admit their mistakes and try to make it better. In some way, everyone of us does that, I believe.
 
It’s strange, you know, the quality of watching the show somewhat changed after I met the actors in L.A.. I’ve been noticing that from the first episode I saw after coming home. Relating how the actors look like, move and talk in real life, how the grips of their hands feel, how they smell or how their voices sound draws me even more into the story, and I never thought this might be possible. I never expected that side effect of a convention. They should put that in their description.  This new aspect of reality increases the intense impact the Winchester Gospel has on me, and I’m not really sure, yet, what to make of it.
 
Another aspect of the sheer terror that will turn me, and probably some more of us, into looking-for-meds basket cases is the end of the five season myth arc. We know, according to Kripke, that the storyline as we know it will come to an end. This means we don’t know yet who will survive this fight, how much of it will be carried into season six and what to expect, at all.
 
I am so curious where the remaining episodes will take the characters, and I fear the worst. There will be death. There will be pain. Not exactly breaking news. But the idea that anything is possible right now is killing me.
 
So, I’m offering my couch, and it is comfortable and big – group therapy proves to be an effective tool to ease the minds of everyone involved.
 
What do you fear most on the eve of the upcoming episodes?
 
Who do you think will still be standing in the end?
 
What will the sacrifices be that – undoubtedly – will be demanded of the Winchesters and their brothers in arms?
 
I think I’m going slightly mad… wanna join Basket Cases United?