The end of Supernatural’s season thirteen approaches and I’m still wondering if the story is adding up to anything special. We’ll see, I suppose.
The Road So Far
Asmodeus is dust. Mary’s being a warrior (yawn) in AU world. Jack, Castiel, Lucifer, and other assorted denizens of the AU are there too. Gabriel’s fate is sealed (probably). Sam and Dean reunite, and Michael is still the least scary villain in the land – at least to this viewer.
I’m sorry, but I'm just casually interested in this one. That’s really not a good thing but it’s not that bad, either. I do remember Sam and Dean hugging, which is always a treat. Gabriel’s speech to Lucifer is also a nice touch. Lucifer isn't easy to figure out. He’s scary sometimes, then he’s comical and totally non-threatening. He seems to want redemption and inclusion in Jack’s life, but does he really? Jack’s power might be all that he’s really interested in. I always love a good discussion on the Prince of Darkness. Was he once good or always evil? He was fine, maybe, until the Mark of Cain. He also only wanted his father to love him as much as He did the human race, but possibly...that’s just an excuse. I know people who seem to be born manipulative; they only can see their own needs, not even their families, and everything bad that happens to them is someone else’s fault. Personally, I don’t buy that Lucifer has an unselfish bone in his body…that is, if angels really had bones or bodies.
Oh yeah, we have a scene with AU Castiel. It’s not pretty. Moving on. I like Dean having to help Ketch and then Sam hugging Charlie. She looks confused, but happy. Me too, Charlie. I know why fans pay Jared a few hundred dollars for a picture and hug. Worth it, definitely.
It’s fun to have a bus to ride to the rift and Sam staying behind with Lucifer and Michael for one scary moment. The brief hope flairs in me that Sam gets stuck there by himself - after all, Sam and Lucifer are electric together, left on their lonesome. Maybe they can even make Michael interesting. Nope, not to be.
Musings on Voices from a Distant Room
Note: The following is from a transcript that was discovered on the dark web by an unknown source.
First voice – Unknown Female
Second voice – Unknown Male
UF – Well, I guess it’s time that we get this over with. I have a hair appointment in a few hours.
UM – Fine, the weather’s so nice that I’m gonna try to get in a round at the club.
UF – So, we have to get Sam and Dean together. They’re gonna hafta hug or the fans will revolt.
UM – Just leave the specifics to the J’s. They’ve got that down-pat.
UF – As long as I don’t have to write any sappy dialog, they can hug for the whole 40 minutes.
UM – Well, we do have to get everyone back through the rift. We have no idea how many hours the boys will work next season.
UF – You know, that’s why we needed to bring so many characters back to our bunker. I’m too tired to come up with a fresh, new storyline…so, we might need whole episodes based on AU Charlie, Bobby, or even what Ninja Warrior Mary is doing on the other side.
UM – Huh, what about Jack? What’ll we do with him?
UF – Oh, he can just bond with Lucifer who turns out to be just misunderstood. They can become a crime-fighting duo and we can pass them off to Arrow.
UM – It’s too bad we had to kill Kevin, again. Osric’s a hoot.
UF – You know, we haven’t written one word, yet. Let’s get going. We need a reason why Mary might want to go back to the AU. The fans aren’t liking her very much and she may need to be sidelined.
UM – I told you that we should have left Mary as the sweet Mommy in the nightgown.
UF – Everyone thought that the fans would think that was uncool. Guess not. I mean geez, we couldn’t have had Mary running around with her long hair flapping in her face as she follows Sam and Dean around – wanting to know every detail of their lives and asking for forgiveness. That’d be boring.
UM – There’s no predicting how a story will be received. Fans should know that we slave over every word.
UF – Speaking of which, let’s move this along. We’ll have Dean yell at Lucifer, Jack look sad, and Castiel – in some sort of weird AU outfit doing one of his wonderful impressions. I just love Misha.
UM – I know. We also need something for Ketch and Charlie to do and then we’ve got to give Gabriel a great speech, since we’re killing his character this episode.
UF – Right, we kill Gabriel, but you know as well as I do that any character we need can come back if the actor’s willing.
UM – That reminds me. There’s some sort of problem with Michael’s actor, what’s his face, so we need to wrap up his story soon.
UF – That’s next week. In between all the other dramatic goings-on, I’m sure they’ll find a few minutes to do something with the guy.
UM – Michael’s not been featured very much. Oh well, someone else can try to think of a way to make him terrifying. I’m all tapped out.
UF – Don’t forget we need some tender moments between Jack, Gabriel, and Lucifer. They’re family, you know, and the fans will again be revolting if they don’t get their sissy dialog.
UM – Okay, be nice. Just because you prefer to write d**k jokes instead of emotional scenes, that doesn’t mean that you can skip what the fans want altogether.
UF – Great, fine, whatever. We need to get the cast of thousands to the rift. Any ideas?
UM – Well, yes. Let’s have an old bus be close enough to them, so that Dean can get it started. Hey! Maybe it can be the old Partridge Family Bus! That’s funny, right?
UF – Uh, no. Hope the fans don’t think that an old bus that can be made to run again so easily is too convenient. (Inaudible) fans, sheesh. It would be funny if they got to drive the bus through the rift!
UM – Yeah, but we don’t have the budget for that.
UF – Our darn budget! Why can’t those pennypinchers give us more coin? The conventions make billions, can’t they share?
UM – That’s not the way it works. Be grateful for those conventions, even though they take up a lot of the cast’s time. The conventions keep the Supernatural Train running.
UF – Yeah, yeah. The fans didn't appreciate all the train whistles they heard a few seasons ago. Cry babies. We also need Sam to stay behind with Lucifer and Michael, for a hot minute. Ha ha, the Samfans are going to think that he’s getting a juicy story out of it. Keep dreaming, kids.
UM – So, we’re done, right? We checked off all the boxes?
Sorry, wrong bus.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. (Please don’t sue me, I’m already poor.)
So, that’s very interesting, but let’s get back to my review before I get into any more trouble. I can’t say that I enjoy this whole episode, but some moments are nice. There's some great character work and any episode with a bro-hug gets put on my rewatch list. What ya’ll think?
Speed courtesy of uproxx.com