‘Why can’t you just say I’m sorry and come back?’


Dean tries to find out what Ben was so worried about. ‘A date is not an emergency, Ben.’ – ‘If is if it’s the third one. I watch TV, I know what that means.’

Is that cliché about the US really true? That the third date means you go to bed? It’s in various books I read about the States, but I never actually considered it to be a fact. Well, in any case, Ben is worried out of his wits. For him it was an emergency. Because he wants the man he learned to love like a father. And Ben reacts like children often do – when parents don’t get along, they often assume it’s their fault. They try to make amends, even when they don’t know what it is they could have done. It’s a terrible burden on any kid’s shoulders. Dean tries to explain and ends up putting in words that he is big in the sacrifice business.

‘Just ‘cause you love someone, doesn’t mean you should stay around and screw up their life. So, I can’t be here.’

‘You think something will follow you home?’

‘No, no, I don’t, but I think my job turns me into somebody that can’t sit at your dinner table’ (what I’m good at is slicing throats. I ain’t a father, I’m a killer) ‘and if I stayed you’d end up just like me’ (just like he ended up like his dad, his mother ended up like his grandfather, passing on the family tradition)

‘Why do you say it like you’re so bad?’ (Don’t you just love Ben? The boy has such incredibly good instinct)

‘Well, trust me, I’m not someone you wanna aim to be.’ (Oh, Dean, your self-esteem hasn’t improved a bit, has it?) … ‘I’m sorry, Ben, but you see this way you get a shot to live whatever life you want. Pick one, pick five. Because with me, there’s just the one road.’

‘You’re a liar, Dean!’ (Ben exposes him, oh yes, he does) … ‘You say, family’s so important, but what do you call people who care for you, who love you even when you’re a dick?! You know you’re walking out on your family, right?’ (Family don’t end with blood, Dean. Remember where you’ve heard that before?!)

And Dean hasn’t anything to answer. The boy is right. Dean is such a courageous man. But in a situation like this, he succumbs to his biggest fears – that something might happen to them on his watch. That the man he also is, the killer, might lose control (as it happened while he was a vampire) and hurt them. He is not able to face that fear as a challenge just yet. With all the worry eating away at him concerning Sam and the notion that he might lose his brother to his hell memories, his strength is not entirely there. He’s weakened. And he’s sad. Not the best requisite to return back to family life.

As he drives away, Dean remembers the many moments with Lisa and the kid, as if that part of his life was ending and he was seeing it once again, as a personal, quiet, beautifully sad memento of a life he once had… Emily Bronte’s Heathcliff comes to mind: ‘what does not recall her? I cannot look down to this floor, but her features are shaped on the flags. In every cloud, in every tree, filling the air at night and caught by glimpses in every object by day, I am surrounded with her image. .. the entire world is a dreadful collection of memoranda that she did exist and that I have lost her.’

Dean is saying good-bye.

This collage of images from his life with Lisa and Ben was poetical, and I wish the scene had been given more time. Ooooh-ooo Love hurts…. Yeah, what a song to carry on that scene with Johnny and his pitiable relationship with his sex doll. What a lonely guy, indeed. A lonely dead guy, that is. Well, Sam, it isn’t over. There is a part of the dead sister still around. And then finally, Sam learns the truth. And I must say – that’s a twist we didn’t get before. Living remains of a spirit, a transplanted organ. What a great idea! And fascinating dilemma – what can they do now to stop Rose?! Find a non-haunted black market replacement kidney? Eventually Hoodoo comes to mind after Dean meets them.


‘Hey, you leave my baby alone!’


But before they can explain their plan to Isabel (and us, the audience), Rose christines the Impala which is not a sex doll, of course, but she holds the same importance for Dean as the sex doll did for unfortunate Johnny.

I can’t help myself, the way Jensen runs here in this scene, I feel reminded of the little Yorkie following him in YellowFever. He has a way of Jack Sparrowing sometimes, and looks adorable doing it.

Finally, Dean stops in front of a shop, sure that this move will have the Impala crush into the store and jumps to the side at the last second. ‘I’m sorry, Baby!’ Unfortunately, Isabel gets hit by a piece of glass and dies, and with her the grief stricken ghost of Rose. It’s a sad ending, but one that saves the brothers from actually pondering cutting out the haunted kidney…

Now, it’s the Impala that needs some replacement organs. Dean works on her at Singer Auto, as Sam provides him with some beer. It’s not a happy moment, but a peaceful one.

‘We saved a few dicks and we killed an innocent girl. I got a heartbroken kid and a woman who’s so pissed at me… I see what you mean about facing your past…. It’s … it’s awesome, thanks…. All we do is make a mess.’

‘That’s not true. We save lives, now and again.’

‘Yeah, I guess. I’m just tired of all the bad luck, you know.’

‘Well, number one: bad luck is kinda in the job description. And two: it’s not all bad. Really, look at me, I mean, at least Satan’s left a building.’

‘Yeah, it’s the little things’ (Ah, Dean, yes, we get the irony, sweetie)

‘…and I have a soul. Because of you. I never thanked you for that, did I?’

‘That’s all good, man.’

‘Well, thanks.’

‘you’d do the same for me.’

‘I mean it. Look, we keep our heads down, keep swinging, we’ll lose some, but hopefully we’ll win more, and… I don’t know, anyway, for what it’s worth, I got your back.’

‘Yeah, I know.’

What they are basically saying is ‘I love you.’ It’s good that I keep tissues at hand when I watch this show.

This time, Sam is trying to offer some comfort to Dean by reminding him of the good they achieve, of what they are capable of, because they do save people. They can’t save everyone. In other episodes, long ago, Dean tried to offer the same ideas to a desperate Sam who needed to save as many people as he could to prevent becoming some evil thing.

Sam sees hope in their future, even though it’s going to be tinted with the occasional failure, and he tries to make Dean see it, too. He reminds them of what they have – each other, and that he will always have Dean’s back. And this time, for the first time in a long time, Dean knows and believes it, too. There is relief in his eyes. Perhaps he can find hope again. And Sam will be there to help him with it.

This episode was a wonderfully nostalgic one, I liked it a lot. A monster of the week, two brothers investigating like in ye olde days, and heartfelt brother talk throughout the whole episode. And yet, it was new. Both have grown, well, we often grow through pain, and these two have had their considerable shares of agony. I don’t doubt there will be more (come on, we know our show), but they stand by each other in unwavering manner. Committed. Imperturbable. Resolute. And, most of all, loving.