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Yes, Dean, possums kill. Clowns, too. This is as awkward as it gets. Sulphur at the door? Don't hold your breath, dear Winchester. It will get worse.
And there she is - the Impala, hidden, but well taken care of, her trunk still a weapons store. Dean is in panic. Something has come, he is sure of it. He has to be ready. He has to protect Lisa and Ben. Lisa, though, knows her man. She knows something is going on, and I wonder how much exactly Dean told her about his life. I assume, she knows a lot. But not the gory details.
The moment she's out of the door, he continues his preparations, not prepared, though, for Yellow Eyes, the ultimate fiend of his young life. Fredric Lehne is back! One of my all-time favourite baddies of this show. He does a great job. Mean as ever. And scary as hell. I do believe -for now- that he was mysteriously resurrected, indeed shaken loose in the apocalypse. Everything is possible with this show. So, right now I'm joining Dean's hallucinations.
“You had to know we were coming for you sometime.’
“you can’t outrun your past’ - yes, true. Dean must be so shaken up by meeting the demon who was responsible for his parents’ deaths, that of Jessica, of Sam becoming Lucifer’s champion is a bit much. He is unable to really fight back. His worst nightmares are coming true, it seems. Lisa and “the hell of a kid’ will suffer because of him. I’m quite sure that some of this must be racing through Dean’s mind. Again the guilt re-surfacing. Dean bringing bad news.
Zorro-Sam appears and drives that needle with the antidote deep into his chest thereby making the illusion of Azazel vanish. But Dean collapses. He almost died and the serum knocked him out. Before he knows what happened he wakes up with Sam sitting across from him.
Sam smiles. But that smile, gorgeous as it may be, also doesn’t reach his eyes. “I was expecting, I don’t know, a hug? Some holy water in the face...’ Come on Sam, give the guy a minute. He just woke up to another hallucination of his dead brother- Who could stomach that?! Seeing things that were not real? Poisoned? You are throwing too much into your brother’s disturbed face.
Sam proves that it’s him â€“ silver knife into his flesh, salted holy water- it is really him. What follows is one of the most heart wrenching scenes of this episode. “Sammy-?’ “yeah, it’s me’ And there is the hug. Dean desperately embracing his brother. We don’t see whether Sam hugs him back, but it feels to me as if he doesn’t. I wouldn’t be surprised if Sam just stood there, detached, arms at his sides. But that’s just me.
What hurts me the most, apart from Dean’s moving quiet happiness to see his brother, is the smile Sam shows in that moment. The kind of smile we’ve seen on Lucifer’s face. It feels wrong. While I’m still inclined to think that this is indeed Sam here, his demeanour feels bizarre, and it tears at my inner peace violently. For me, this is a face of a man in pain, carrying a smooth mask to hide the cruelty of that emotion, holding it all in. A mechanism Sam has been known for.
Sam has been back about a year. My God. You’re really getting it rubbed in, Dean- and Sam gives him some kind of explanation why he had not turned up during that time. There is a lot of truth to it, I believe, but not the whole truth. He might have thought that letting Dean go and build a new life with Lisa and Ben was the right thing. My guts, however, are screaming like on fire right now. There is more. A terrible “more’. A “more’ we will learn about later in the show (great job, folks, torturing not only the brothers, but us viewers, too. Personally, I didn’t expect anything less).
Whatever made Sam decide not to make himself known to Dean were good reasons, I am sure. Sam hasn’t changed that much while in hell. The driving force of both brothers has always been love. Sometimes misguided, sometimes selfish, sometimes pain-driven, but always love. A fact so deeply rooted in their being doesn’t disappear, not even after hell. The time Dean spent in hell didn’t change that, though he needed some time to be reminded of it. And -even though Sam has been Lucifer’s toy - it is still in Sam. I believe that. But it’s driving a blade into my soul to see him like this.
The younger Winchester has no idea how he came back. Doesn’t know who pulled him up. Or so he says (something tells me that’s also not entirely true, but perhaps too terrible to tell right now).
Still, after Sam had given the ultimate sacrifice in Swan Song, why shouldn’t it have been God himself (hello Chuck?!) to bring him back. We learned in the final episodes of last season that God encouraged the liberty to make decisions. In the end “they chose family’. They, the Winchesters, did the choosing, defying all temptations and obstacles that were thrown onto their path and did what they considered right. And God seemed quite satisfied with that. He gave Man free will. And Man enforced it, saving the world along the way. Sacrificed himself. There is no greater love, the Bible tells us (I bet even the one Supernatural uses). I would love to see some reward for that. Well, for now, there is none, for Sam is just as disturbed as Dean, just in another colour.