My heart is currently residing in my stomach. In a good way. Thursday, I tweeted:

Good morning.
I’m not quite sure how to feel today. But what I do know is that no matter which way this cookie crumbles, this family will never end. The community that has been built around this miracle of a show will never end. Actors, crew, and fans will always remember this little miracle that entered our lives. No matter if it was 15 years ago or 15 minutes ago, Supernatural changes you. It changed me, and I will be forever grateful. Thank you, Supernatural, for being a light in the darkness. For being a little miracle in the middle of the mundane.

After watching the finale, that sentiment still holds true. No matter what you felt about the way the show ended, I think there is something to be said about the fans and what we've done for the show. Seeing actors past and present talking about their experiences working on the show proved to me that we really did allow a miracle to happen. There was something in the air when Kripke was creating the show, and it allowed for this brilliant, magical thing to come out of it. Whether you loved or hated how it ended, there's no denying that this show made an impact.

Now, onto the details.

The Morning After

That’s the last time I’ll write those words about Supernatural. The Morning After. The morning after a new episode of Supernatural has aired. The morning when I try to capture my first impressions and the emotional impact an episode inspired before there’s time to logically analyze and explain, or emotionally process and understand. I’ve always considered those words to be pivotal to my reviews because I believe it’s important to capture first impressions, but they are just that. First impressions are the human response that signals fight or flight, safety or vulnerability, love or hate. Events get sorted out through discussion and careful examination, and emotions wane or change with time, but first impressions are always our starting point. So I will share with you what I’m thinking and feeling today, November 20, the day after Supernatural’s series finale aired, but I reserve the right to change my mind in a week, month or year from now.

The Long Road Home:  the first hour of the final airing of Supernatural was a retrospective with brief clips of lines and bits of scenes from over the years interspersed with the cast and crew talking about different aspects of the show.  Each section was highlighted by a different title such as Baby, Resurrection, Last Supper, Team Free Will.  Samantha Smith said they were battling for their own freedom from monsters and the control of gods and angels.  Misha said, "You can write your own ending."  He also hoped the fans feel satisfied and grateful.  They showed the scene in Sam's brain as he was dying at the end of season 8.  Bobby (Dream Bobby?  Brain Bobby?) said, "What you call dying, I call leaving a legacy."  Soon after, Jim Beaver commented on "just how much love went into the making of this show."  Dean says he's happy with who he is and who Sam is.  

We see Jack asking, "What do we say?" when they stood beside Castiel's funeral pyre, and Sam saying, "You say thank you . . . you say goodbye."  The quotes used from various episodes were so poignant:  "All good things must come to an end."  "Here's to running into you guys on the other side."  "This is it."  From "Baby" - "Let's go home;" "we are home."  "What am I supposed to do?"  "Keep fighting!"  And the Impala drives off into the warm glow of the horizon.  

The second hour begins - this is the final episode.  THEN:  Sam and Dean stand in the dark in front of the Impala and tell Chuck they're surrendering, but he's going to leave them rotting on a lifeless planet.  They tell him, "You lose."  Jack is a power vacuum.  Jack is now god and disappears in a bright shimmer of light.  The Winchesters now get to write their own story; they're free.  The Impala drives off.

NOW:  A vintage alarm clock sits on a night stand, its hands moving to eight o'clock.  Its alarm sounds, and a man's hand gropes for it with the fumbling efforts of someone not truly awake.  It's Dean, reluctantly waking and stretching.  Then a shaggy white dog bounds into his room and leaps onto his bed, snuggling up as Dean pulls him close for a hug.  Miracle survived and is with them in the bunker.  Sam, with earpods, is outside jogging and stops to view a lake, enjoying the view as people jog past, fish, and enjoy their lives.  Back in the bunker, Sam is cooking, eggs and toast, which Dean, in the "dead man's robe" that he likes, grabs while it's still hot.  Dean brushes his teeth.  Sam gets out of the shower in a towel, revealing the anti-possession tattoo on his chest, and gets dressed.  Both brothers make their bed, Sam meticulously, Dean haphazardly, Dean stands at the sink washing dishes, then, surreptitiously looking around lest Sam see what he's doing, he calls Miracle over and lets the dog lick the plate.  Reading a book, Sam stands next to the bunker's washing machine doing laundry, giving the machine a kick when it struggles to keep going.  Dean times himself cleaning his weapons.  Bits of ordinary life for the Winchesters.

After 15 seasons and more than 300 episodes, we have come to the final episode for Supernatural. Here's what we know.

I’ve been doing these reviews for a while.  I’ve written these as a fan girl in fit of excitement, nervous wreck, sobbing mess, livid ranting lunatic, bored out of my wit and the too often feeling of “meh”.  So yeah, how do I categorize this one?  The penultimate episode where low expectations were barely met when they should have been really high?  Um, it was cute? 

Right, cute is for bunnies, not the second to last episode of the entire series that was meant to wrap up the final season myth arc.  This episode delivered the safest, easiest, and most predictable ending.  It also managed to expose the glaring weaknesses that has plagued the series all too often in the later years.  So yeah, it’s hard to label this one, but fan girl isn’t very happy.     

Thoughts on Supernatural 15.19 “Inherit the Earth”

The penultimate episode, “Inherit the Earth” promised a lot, especially on the heels of last week's sweeping devastation. Over the months, this episode has been marketed as a “season finale” style vs episode twenty’s “series finale” air. So, did it deliver?

This is how this works: I will give my TOP 5 choices for the Good and The Bad of each season 15 episode that has aired thus far, PLUS a random fact that may or may not have anything to do with the episode. It depends what I am thinking at that moment! After you read my opinions, I would like to hear your TOP 5 Good/Bad list from the same episode. The point is that every episode must have both good and bad stuff for you, or you are not being honest with yourself. ? “The Bad” stuff might be easier to write when the episode is not to your liking, then other times “The Good” will be easier. The Good/Bad stuff can be silly things - that is alright too!
If I expect to be disappointed, am I still disappointed when it meets my expectations?