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This was an episode almost TOO rich in targets. So I picked one set of threads to run with.

1003sam1 *blink* Dammit!
1003dean1 Bwahahaha. Why kind of fool narcoleptic would choose to play "who blinks first" against anybody?
1003sam2 Good point. How about we play... *pulls out box*
1003dean3 No. Not that. Anything but that!
1003castiel1 At last! Screentime shall be mine!
1003castiel2 ...
1003castiel1 ...
1003castiel3 Which way to the plot?
1003hannah2 *looking at map* I think we need to go that way.
1003castiel3 East? I thought we were heading West.
1003hannah2 That is West. Isn't it? If North on the map is this way...
1003castiel3 Ok, the cartoon rabbit says he's always turning left at Albuquerque. Do you see an Albuquerque anywhere?
1003dean1 8, 9... 10. Kentucky Avenue? With 3 houses? Nooooooo!
1003sam3 Hah! I win that one. Now are you human yet or still demon?
1003dean2 Rar! DEANMON SMASH!
1003sam2 Well if you're going to be like that, I guess I'll get out My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic monopoly.
1003dean3 You bastard! How can you be so cruel? Which one of us is the real monster, huh?
1003sam3 Monster... human... I'm still the one kicking your ass.
1003crowley1 You sure this throne isn't a bit... ostentatious?
1003demon1 Well we do have that captain's chair you accepted from Shatner in lieu of his soul.
1003crowley1 Hah and he got hair worthy of a chair as well! Silly Canadians, thinking they have souls... Still it doesn't seem right to sit in that chair without Dean as my Spock and Moose for my McCoy.
1003demon1 Really? I see Sam as more Spock and Dean as Bones.
1003crowley1 Well if we could get his soul out of him again, sure, but considering--
1003demon2 *interrupting* Dude! Will you just nut up already and LEAD HELL?
1003crowley1 Or else what?
1003demon2 Or... I'll... set myself on fire!
1003demon3 *fwoosh*
1003demon1 !
1003crowley1 Feel better?
1003demon3 No. :(
1003crowley1 Good! Because this is HELL, where disappointment and fire are rather standard procedures. Now get your pitchfork and go poke some damned souls.
1003demon3 Man I wouldn't have sold my soul if I knew hell was going to be so... lame.
1003crowley1 What does nobody get about-- Forget it. Santa, you got your naughty list handy?
1003santa Right here.
1003crowley1 Man I love focused marketing... hey! Castiel's on here!
1003santa And the nice list too. I... nobody knows what to do with him any more.
1003crowley1 Hmmm... I have an idea...
1003sam3 You have to go back to Tangled!
1003dean1 :( But Jasmine is my favorite. She's totally hot.
1003sam2 I told you Dean, this is for your own good. We're going to make you human again.
1003dean3 No human enjoys CANDYLAND!
1003sam1 Maybe. But of all the games you and Crowley played, Candyland was NOT one of them. So we're going to play this and every other boardgame demons don't touch until you get your soul back.
1003dean2 Next time you lose your soul, Sammy, I will have my revenge. I will monopoly your ass so hard Hasbro will make you a spokesman.
1003castiel1 Let's stop in here and ask for directions.
1003hannah1 Uh oh. Dead innocent bystander, and he didn't even get a line.
1003angel Now I'm going to kill you both to death!
1003castiel1 No! No! Bad angle! Papa spank.
1003angel Why? All I wanted to be is left alone.
1003castiel2 And we... wait, why can't we leave them alone?
1003hannah1 Uhh...
1003crowley2 Oh for... *STAB*
1003angel blarg! *is dead*
1003castiel2 What'd you do that for?
1003crowley2 She was holding up the plot. Here! Take this grace, then you two need to drive seven miles that way.
1003castiel1 I don't get it... why are you helping me?
1003crowley2 Because someone needs to wrest screentime from those boys, and I can't do it alone.
1003dean2 Do you have... any sixes?
1003sam1 *glare* Go... fish!
1003dean3 Argh! Stop this, please! I'll do anything!
1003sam1 Ok. Be human.
1003dean1 Ugh. Fine! I'm totally human, now.
1003castiel1 Hey guys! I'm here!
1003sam3 Sorry, Cas. We're all good now. Won't be needing you. Maybe you'll get some screentime next week.
1003castiel3 Nooooooooooo! I shall have my revenge!
1003crowley2 Yes... good... let the hate flow through you...
(crossposted @


# TeresaPezzino 2014-10-28 19:42
This was hysterically funny, but THIS line made my day - "Well we do have that captain's chair you accepted from Shatner in lieu of his soul". BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA!
# PaintedWolf 2014-10-29 04:31
Bwahahahahahaha ! Nate! This was hilarious. I'm kinda glad I took my last sip of coffee before reading it though, otherwise I'm sure there'd be caffeine all over my screen and keyboard right now.