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The â€œThings to Ruinâ€ List
Eric Kripke is on a mission! With cheerfully warped and macabre assistance from his writers, just how many ostensibly good things can be ruined by Supernatural? Weâ€™ve heard the Krip keeps a list of loose ends he wants to tie up on a whiteboardâ€”that obsessive-compulsive streak is one of the many reasons I adore the man. Itâ€™s fun to imagine that he also keeps a â€œThings to Ruinâ€ list on that board, cackling and rubbing his hands with glee every time he gets to cross something off. Mission accomplished!
The idea for this piece came from a comment from Alice along the lines of â€œCross that off the Things to Ruin list.â€ I cracked up when I read it, as well as Bethanyâ€™s response to the â€œHomeâ€ recap. Credit for the first item on the list goes to her! I thought it might be fun to take the idea further and see how many things I could come up with. And itâ€™s bound to get longer--with a sixth season in the works, theyâ€™re sure to make admirable progress on the list in the coming year. I canâ€™t wait to see what twisted awesomeness they come up with next!
The list that follows is in no particular order. Some of these are more amusing than others. Some will no doubt make you groan, so keep those rotten tomatoes handy! Letâ€™s start with:
1. The entire kitchen
This oneâ€™s from Bethany, who wrote that Kripke seems determined to ensure that we can never go back into the kitchen or use any of its appliances ever again. Kitchen items ruined thus far include the:
And, of course, the kitchen sink
This oneâ€™s a no-brainer. Evil Santa, drunk Santa, blinking sweaters, cross-eyed reindeer and one thoroughly butchered rendition of Silent Night: Carver & Co have ruined Christmas forever.
I read a comment once from a mortified viewer who unsuspectingly stumbled across this â€œholiday special.â€ Poor guyâ€”this episode really should come with a warning.
The brothersâ€™ lives are one long Halloween, and considering the day precedes the anniversary of Mary and Jessicaâ€™s deaths itâ€™s got to be a crappy time of year for them. However, from razor blades and skeevy jailbait cheerleader witches to angels breathing down their necks, zombies rising en masse, and the Great Pumpkin himself, Halloween 2008 stands out as a particularly horrendous experience.
You can run, but youâ€™d do better hiding. In this case, that means smearing your face with blood and playing dead.
There are no words . . . this one was ruined by a master. IMHO the ruin of Valentineâ€™s Day may top that of Christmas, and thatâ€™s no small feat.
OK, this oneâ€™s a stretch, since it was off camera, but it sounds like Thanksgiving was ruined for those poor boys year after year. Every time I sit down to turkey from here out, Iâ€™ll reflect sadly on little Sam and Dean sharing a bucket of extra-crispy with Dad passed out on the couch. Apparently those Millertime shifts were no joke, but cut Pa Winchester some slackâ€”both his boys appear to have inherited his penchant for drowning their sorrows in hard liquor. The season 6 storyline will feature a quest to score Dean a new liver, but I digress.
I wonder which holiday will be next? We know the boys had at least one fun Fourth of July, although it sounds like whenever John was around he was a massive buzzkill. Cinco de Mayo, perhaps? Deanâ€™s been wanting to go down to Tijuana for ages, and the boys have a knack for finding trouble wherever they go. Or maybe St. Patrickâ€™s Day. We know what Dean thinks of leprechauns, with their small hands . . .