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â€œThe Man Who Would Be Kingâ€ Episode 6/20
Robinâ€™s Rambles by Robin Vogel
Head bowed, shoulders slumped, Castiel sits, and everything he says, we see, illustrated either from a cheesy old movie, or a storm-tossed sea. "I have been here for a very long time," he says. "I remember many things. I remember being at a shoreline, watching a little gray fish heave itself up on the beach, and an older brother saying, 'Don't step on that fish, Castiel, big plans for that fish. I remember the Tower of Babel, all 37 feet of it, which I suppose is impressive at the time, and when it fell, they howled 'Divine wrath!', but come on, dried dung can only be stacked so high. (LOL!) I remember Cain and Abel, David and Goliath, Sodom and Gomorrah." We see Cas' own metamorphosis from man to angel. "And of course I remember the most remarkable event--remarkable because it never came to pass"-- scenes of Sam, Dean, Bobby, events leading up to the apocalypse and of course, Lucifer--"it was avoided by two boys and a fallen angel. The grand story--and we ripped up the ending." (Lucifer-possessed Sam, Dean, Michael-possessed Adam.) "And the rules, and destiny, leaving nothing but freedom and choice." (Sam, Dean, Adam, the rings, and Sam tossing himself into the cage, Adam-Michael, grabbing on tight.) "Which is all well and good, except, what if I've made the wrong choice, how am I supposed to know. . .I'm getting ahead of myself. . .let me tell you my story. Let me tell you everything." Cas seems to be speaking to us directly, his face pleading, but we know he is speaking to God, his father.
Ednote: We know right away that Castiel is in agony and what he's going to say very difficult. This is a confession, and no amount of Hail Marys is going to get him out of this one.) It's also a Ben Edlund script directed by Edlund himself, and his scattered black humorous gems are everywhere.
Cas pops into the Impala beside Dean, startling him. Dean bangs on the steering wheel in frustration. "Are you all right?" Cas asks. "Yeah, I'm fine, how're you?" asks Dean. Cas just wanted to check in. "Any word on Satan Jr. bein' alive?" asks Dean. Cas assures him he's looking, he just doesn't understand how Crowley could have tricked him. "Tricky SOB, that's how," says Dean, "doesn't matter, but if he is up and kickin', then what matters is finding him, ripping his head off and shoving it up his ass." "You found anything?" the angel asks casually. "Nothin' yet," says Dean. "Where's Sam?" asks Cas. "Keepin' busy tracking a Djinn in Omaha as we speak," says Dean, "I'm headed there right now to meet up with him." "I'd come if I could," says Cas. Dean understands how busy Cas is--"No worries--but Cas, you'll call, right?--if you get into real trouble?" Cas nods and flies off. Dean nods and lets out a breath of air, exhausted from lying.
Cas enters a room where "Me and Mrs. Jones" plays. Crowley is butchering Eve and her creatures. He finds one being who's dead, but still keeps laying eggs (and he picks up a handful, which is very gross). He pokes Eve in the brain, causing one of her children to jitter uncontrollably. "Chocula here feels every tickle," says Crowley. "What is that good for?" asks Cas. "Apart from the erotic value, beyond me," answers Crowley. "You said Eve could open the door to Purgatory," says Cas angrily. "Correct," says Crowley, "and I'm confident that she could have--IF SHE WAS STILL ALIVE!! Our single best chance to get under the rainbow and the Winchesters killed her!" "It was unavoidable," insists Cas. "YOU screwed up, Cas, you let the hounds mangle the pheasant, and now I'm up to my elbows in it!" "What is your point?" demands Cas. "The point is, you're distracted," says Crowley, "and that makes me nervous." "I am holding up my end!" insists Cas. "Ah yes, but is that all you're holding?" asks Crowley slyly, almost whispering in his ear, "the stench of that Impala is all over your overcoat, angel--I thought we'd agreed--no more nights out with the boys." (and more sexual innuendo!) "I spoke with Dean," says Cas, "I needed to know what they know!" "About what?--about me, maybe?" asks Crowley-- "because I happen to have it on good authority that your two little pets are currently trying to hunt me down!! Forgive me, but I think we might have a little conflict of interest here." And he stabs Eve's brain again, sending the other poor soul into convulsions.
Narration: "Crowley had a point, of course, my interest was conflicted; I still considered myself the Winchesters' guardian. After all, they taught me how to stand up (Cas throws the explosive bottle at Michael/Adam, calling him assbutt), what to stand for, and what generally happens to you when you do" (Samifer snaps his fingers, rendering Cas into sludge. In cool slow-mo, we see Cas' gore moving around, twirling and dancing. Then, one large, perfect red lump appears.) "I was done. I was over. And then the most extraordinary thing happened." (The bubble divides.) "I was put back. We had won! We stopped Armageddon." Cas repairs Dean, brings Bobby back to life. "But at a terrible cost--and so I knew what I had to do next." (We see Sam standing near Dean's house, a blank expression on his face.) "Once again, I went to harrow hell to free Sam from Lucifer's cage. It was nearly impossible, but I was so full of confidence, of mission, I see now, that was arrogance, hubris, because I hadn't truly raised Sam, not all of him," (Sam punches the deputy from Rhode Island, watches Dean be turned into a vamp, nearly kills Bobby) "sometimes we're lucky enough to be given a warning. This should have been mine."
Crowley rips a piece off the Eve's body, causing the other to groan in agony. "Please, I'm begging you, Castiel, kill the Winchesters," Crowley pleads. "No," says Cas. "Fine, then I'll do it myself," the demon says. "If you do, I'll just bring them back again," vows Cas. (Nice friend to have, huh?) "No you won't," says Crowley, "not where I'll put 'em, trust me." "I said, no," Cas repeats quietly, "don't worry about them." "Don't WORRY?--what, like Lucifer didn't worry? or Michael? or Lilith? Or Alistair, or Azazel didn't worry? Am I the only think piece on the board who doesn't underestimate those denim-wrapped nightmares!" "Just find Purgatory," says Cas, "if you don't, we will both die, again and again, until the end of time." Cas turns to walk again, assuring, "The Winchesters won't get to you." "Let 'em get to me!" screams Crowley, "I'll tear they're friggin' hearts out!"
Bobby's living room, where, Sam at his side, he's torturing Red, a filthy, lower-than- snake-spit hell-spawn, for Crowley's whereabouts. He's praising Red for becoming a damn fine hunter. "I don't know whether to kill ya or kiss ya," says Bobby. "Oh, please, kill me," says Red. "That was you that dug out that nest of vamps in Swan Valley, wasn't it?" asks Bobby. "Nice work," says Sam. "And then you brought â€˜em to Crowley, right?" asks Bobby. "The king is dead," insists Red. Bobby tosses holy water on the chained up man, causing him to cry out through gritted teeth. "Crowley's alive," says Bobby, "you prove it just by bein', you poor, dumb jackass. Crowley's alive, his nets are still out, except he's using you schmucks to hunt his monsters." "Up yers," retorts Red. Sam hands Bobby the DKK, and Red's eyes widen at the sight of it. Dean enters and indicates for Sam to join him aside. "Red, where's Crowley?" asks Bobby, no longer fooling around. The other man just looks at him, then down. "No? Nothin'?" says Bobby--"OK, then. Hang onto this for a bit." He thrusts the knife into Rob's leg, just above his knee. Red screams, loud and long. (Ednote: Never fails to make me admire how good Bobby is at torture. He starts with a little pain, like holy water, then goes on to the good stuff, the DKK that REALLY hurts! I will always want Bobby on MY team!)
"So what did you tell him?" Sam asks Dean. "Nothing," says the latter, "just relax. "What's the hubbub?" asks Bobby, joining them. "Saw Cas," says Dean, "he popped in on me about two hours back." "What'd you tell him?" asks Bobby. "Nothing," says Dean, "I told him we were on some crap monster hunt, "he doesn't know we're getting close to Crowley. You know, he's our friend, and we're lying to him through our teeth." "Dean," begins Sam. "So be burned the wrong bones," says Dean, "so Crowley tricked him." "He's an ANGEL," Bobby reminds him. "He's the Balki Bartokomous of heaven," says Dean, "he can make a mistake." "Nobody's sayin' nothin' yet," says Bobby. "You think that Cas is in with Crowley," accuses Dean--CROWLEY?" "I'm just sayin' I don't know," clarifies Bobby, "I hate myself for even thinkin' it, but I DON'T KNOW!" "Look, Dean, he's our friend, too," says Sam, "and I'd die for him, I would, but, I'm praying we're wrong here." "But if we ain't," says Bobby, "if there's a snowball of a snowball's chance here, that means we're dealin' with a superman who's gone dark-side--which means, we've got to be cautious, we've got to be smart, and maybe stock up on some Kryptonite." Looking at Sam, Dean teases, "This makes you Lois Lane." (They're going there again!) "One problem at a time here," says Bobby, "we gotta find Crowley NOW, before that damn fool cracks open Purgatory."