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Last remix until Season 10! Warning: I did see how much I could cross the line this time...

As always thanks to: for screencaps and for the gif this time.


923gadreel2 Metatron... you've got to come out of your room sometime!
923metatron1 No! I'm going to stay in here forever!
923gadreel1 I've done that. It sucks.
923metatron1 Did your room have an xbox?
923gadreel1 No, they tend not to give you those in jail.
923gadreel2 Can you at least tell me why you're so upset?
923metatron1 I... Well you see... De... Dean said...
923gadreel2 Come on, man spit it out. What did the mean Winchester do to you?
923metatron1 He said... I wasn't a good villain! *loud crying*
923gadreel2 That bastard! What'd he say?
923metatron1 Well... it wasn't... exactly what he said... as much as... how he said it.
923gadreel2 ... Go on.
923metatron1 He... he killed Abaddon instead of me!
923gadreel1 She did scratch his car.
923metatron1 whhhhaaaaaaaaaa *more sobbing*
923gadreel2 Hey now, Metty - buddy - that just means you have to try extra hard to be villainous.
923metatron1 You're just patronizing me.
923gadreel2 I am not! You can be just as bad as Azazel or Lilith or Lucifer or...
923metatron1 Hitler?
923gadreel2 Who?
923metatron1 He was this... nobody in Austria a few decades back. Nothing seemed to go right for the guy. Rejected from art school, arrested, shot at in World War 1, had only one testicle.
923gadreel2 Really?
923metatron1 Oh yeah. On top of it all, he just couldn't break into full villainy, no matter how much he said he hated Jews and other people.
923gadreel2 So... he failed?
923metatron1 Oh no. He sold his soul for 10 years of power.
923gadreel2 He... did?
923metatron1 Quite. Part of why he became so obsessed with the occult. He kept looking for a way out of the deal. They gave him another decade because he was spilling so much blood for them, but in the end, the Hellhounds always come to collect. He thought he'd be safe in this bunker but Eva Braun was possessed by the same demon he made the deal with and... it didn't go well.
923gadreel2 And now?
923metatron1 Oh he's the most hated man in the world! You can find more people sympathetic to Lucifer than that guy.
923gadreel2 Well... there you go! Hitler didn't give up and neither should you.
923metatron2 *opens door* You're right! I'm going to go out and there be a real villain! I'm going to go do some evil, THEN the Winchesters will have to try and kill me by God!
923gadreel2 That's the spirit! So what are you going to do first? Kill some specified group of people??
923metatron2 =O No! Gadreel! I'm a villain. Not an asshole! You stay here and watch some of these workplace orientation videos I had made. Then when I get back, maybe you'll understand what "Metatron Inc" is all about.
923gadreel1 ( ._.)
923castiel1 How long has he been like this?
923sam1 Since stabbing Abaddon.
923castiel2 You guys killed Abaddon? Congratulations!
923sam3 Yep. Big bad of the season and the Winchesters took 'er down. Because that's how we roll.
923castiel1 And all without ever calling your friends to help.
923sam2 Aw... I'm sorry Cas, but... Dean said he didn't want you along because you'd take screentime away from Blade.
923castiel2 ??? I would never take screentime from Wesley Snipes! That man's a national treasure.
923sam1 Oh. No, not him. That's what Dean's calling the weapon now.
923castiel1 Hm. You think this has something to do with the Mark of Cain?
923sam1 Nah.
923gadreel2 *enters* Hey guys, can we talk a mo--
923gadreel1 Ow! Oh god the pain! How did this happen?
923dean1 I've been stomping around here talking about stabbing. Has nobody been paying attention to my performance?
923dean1 Thank you.
923dean1 Yeah but the academy won't let cutlery join, much less vote.
923dean3 The people's choice award is a good shape for stabbing.
923sam2 No, sorry, I have to stop you there.
923sam1 Dean, 1. You never had a chance with Eliza, stop holding it against this guy. 2. The PCA? I mean it's one thing to talk about affecting something as pathetic and common as the academy awards, but the People's Choice? Now you've gone too far. Go to your room and think about what you've done!
923dean1 *sulks off*
923sam3 I'm sorry for my brother.
923gadreel2 No, it's ok. I'm just thrilled someone actually watched Dollhouse.
923castiel2 Is that... why you're here?
923gadreel2 Oh no. I was wanting to ask if you guys could... try attacking Metatron?
923sam3 Why?
923gadreel2 He's been feeling really down about not being considered a real villain by you guys. Think you can go rough him up or something?
923sam1 Sure. How about we just try to kill him altogether?
923gadreel2 Oh I think he's really appreciate that.
923castiel3 Sam, you get Dean and go take care of that. I have an idea that Gadreel and I can do "back at the base" - as they say.
923dean1 They're right! I shouldn't hold his work against him. Besides he was pretty awesome as Helo.
923dean3 Hey now, I thought we agreed no more music.
923dean1 Yeah, now it's stuck in my head too. Thanks. *heavy sarcasm*
923dean3 You say... that we've got nothing in common
No common ground to start from... while others fall apart
You'll say... the world should have more killing
So many lives need slicing... still I know you just don't care.
And I said, What about... stabbing that Tiffany?
You said, "I think I... remember her blood
And as I recall, I think... we both kinda liked it."
And I said, "Well, that's... the one thing we've got!"
923sam3 For gods' sake, PLEASE stop singing!
923dean1 Can I go stab someone?
923sam2 Yes. Gadreel just came by and asked us to go rough up Metatron.
923dean1 Meaty? Awwww but I wanted a real big bad villain.
923sam3 I know, Dean, but the alpha vamp isn't returning our calls.
923dean1 Ugh, then we'll stay in here. Blade wants a lite, raspberry smoothie and a karaoke machine.
923sam1 ... No! Now either come along or stay in there.
923dean1 Fine, we're coming.
923gadreel1 This is brilliant, Castiel. When he gets back, I just know Metatron is going to love his office looking like a lair. How did you come up with this?
923castiel1 Since losing my wings I've had a lot of time to... watch the HGTV network.
923gadreel2 Hey there's Asariel and Purah. They'll want in on this.
923castiel2 Gadreel! Stop. We can't.
923gadreel1 Why not?
923castiel3 *whispering* The more who know, the more likely the surprise will be ruined.
923gadreel2 Something else from HGTV?
923castiel2 The Winchesters.
923gadreel2 ?
923castiel1 One time Dean enlisted my help getting a lady of ill repute into a cake for Sam.
923gadreel2 How'd it go?
923castiel1 Sam was... not as excited with me in the cake as he might have been with the lady.
923gadreel2 So what do we do? Just walk by them?
923castiel3 No, that would look too suspicious...
923gadreel2 I know! I'll put you in handcuffs and pretend you're my prisoner.
923castiel2 I was about to suggest that I collect on Metatron's deal.
923gadreel2 What deal?
923castiel2 He promised me a spot in Heaven if I played the role of enemy.
923gadreel2 You have any proof?
923castiel1 Damn, I should have gotten a voucher.
923gadreel2 Hold on, Castiel, I see a bakery.
923crowd Oh my god, she's been hit!
923metatron3 Stand aside!
923metatron2 HEAL!
923crowd Wow!
923crowd I can't believe it.
923metatron3 I know. Isn't it just the most evil thing you've ever seen?
923crowd ...
923crowd No.
923metatron1 Dammit! Why can't I get this right??
923dean2 Where's the wanna be that calls himself a villain?
923metatron3 *gasp* You came!
923dean1 Yep, I'm here to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and I've only got one stick remaining.
923metatron1 Oh by all means, take your time. We're in no rush.
923dean1 That reminds me. What's the deal with this... place and those people?
923metatron2 My extensive pop culture knowledge tells me that every major villain requires a base and minions. Since you can't get a volcano any more without 3 character references, I thought I should start small.
923dean1 Not bad. You could use a cat to stroke.
923metatron1 I tried to use one of orphan kids instead, but nobody would let me.
923dean1 So how you want to do this? *puts last stick of gum into his mouth* Final showdown style? Taunt and escape?
923metatron2 Are we... are we supposed to do final showndown on the first confrontation? I always heard you should wait until at least the third.
923dean1 Whatever you're comfortable with.
923metatron1 I just... don't want to seem like - you know - an 'easy' villain.
923dean1 I can totally respect that.
923gadreel2 Let me say again, Castiel, that a death-trap party is just BRILLIANT.
923castiel3 Ok set up the mini-guillotine for the peeps in the middle of the table.
923gadreel1 What about the winch to lower gingerbread men into the chocolate fondue?
923castiel2 To the right of the fireplace. Gadreel! This plate of mini-sandwiches is perfect. I love how each triangle is arranged like a group of sharks circling their prey.
923gadreel2 Well I can't wait to try a bite of the slow moving wall of shish kebabs.
923castiel1 There's... not really a place to put the laser slicing cheese platter on his desk.
923gadreel2 Just move his typewriter to the shelf behind.
923castiel1 Ugh. Grunt. Can you give me a hand? It's kind of awkward and--
923metatron2 What was that?
923dean3 ?
923castiel2 No, it's fine! I saw this stuff when I worked at a gas station, called "crazy glue". We'll get some of that, put the tablet back together, Metatron will never know--
923metatron2 WHAT HAPPENED!?!?!
923gadreel2 Boss, just let us explain...
923metatron1 How can I be a serious villain when you guys just ruined the one thing I had going for me? I'm going to my room and never coming out! *slams door*
923castiel1 ._.
923gadreel1 ._.
923dean1 What took you so long?
923sam2 Dean, you know I'm sensitive about my narcolepsy. What's happening?
923dean3 Beats me. One minute Metatron and I are having a by-the-numbers confrontation and then he just ups and leaves.
923sam1 Without even attempting to kill you? Did he at least promise to call you back later?
923dean1 Who knows.
923castiel3 There's--
923dean1 only--
923gadreel2 one--
923sam1 thing--
923crowd left!

That's it for this season! Hope to see you all back here in season 10!

(crossposted @


# NOLANOLA 2014-07-08 08:22
Interesting how you took Hitler and added SPN lore. Makes sense if you believe in that sorta thing.
Nate Winchester
# Nate Winchester 2014-07-08 08:30
Hey, everybody hates hitler (" pernaturalwiki. com/index.php?t itle=8.13_Every body_Hates_Hitl er"). ;)
# NOLANOLA 2014-07-08 08:33