Like with special effects, there are certain "tricks" and techniques to narratives and storytelling which, if it's done right, the audience should not notice without effort. When it goes wrong, the audiences' mind catches it and will reject the story even if they're not conscious of it immediately.

The first and most important rule of stories is what tv tropes calls The Law of Conservation of Detail, aka "Don't waste our time." The audience doesn't have all day to watch someone's day in real time. You have a story to convey, only show us something if it's related to the plot or "building" in some way (i.e. character building, world building). In the case of SPN, it's why we don't see them driving around looking for a parking space or actually filling out the forms for the credit card scams; such is a waste minutes out of the hour we have with them each week.

One part of this law is that the path a narrative takes should always be approached by authors as if they were traveling salesman problems: try not to visit a place more than once. And this is me speaking from experience. I'm working on episode 2 in preparation for the next hiatus and in my first draft I had the "camera" of the story go from upper deck to bridge to outside to lower deck back to bridge then back to lower then back to bridge. Upon the reread and initial edit, I cut most of the different bridge scenes and stitched them together into one. This ended up making the story flow better, faster and had the pleasant side effect of the characters sounding smarter as they ended up having ideas closer to when they should rather than having them arbitrarily not think of something until the plot required it. So this isn't me throwing stones from my glass house, I try and follow these rules as much as any artist. (the biggest difference between me & TPTB is that I'm not paid at all for my efforts). 

Which brings us all the way back to episode 9.03 "I'm no Angel". Originally the episode was pretty wretched on its own but at least better than "Caged Heat" but now with the airing of episode 9.06 "Heaven Can't Wait" the episode's shaping up to be the worst of the season. Yes, while 9.06 is good, it ends up making 9.03 worse, which is no one's fault BUT episode 9.03.

Refresher: Both episodes are general "arc" stories, essentially two parts detailing the fate of Castiel. Put them together, what's the path of Cas' story? Outside -> Bunker -> Outside. Why bother with that middle step? At first I thought the evicting by Dean would have some character consequences later but nope! In 9.06 we see Dean be a bit of a dick to Cas for no real reason, almost like he never kicked the guy out or that he's completely forgotten about how much Cas' current situation is his fault. Which is even weirder when we've seen historically that Dean's got a bit of a guilt complex even with things that are tangentially his fault.

But of course critiquing is easy. Fixing is harder. So I'm going to do that now, and see if not only does 9.03 improve, but if 9.06 doesn't end up being even stronger.

First half of 9.03: no change except to have some consequences for the angel(s) that killed the priests. If you want to make Bartholomew more complex, have him angry that "allies" were killed. If you want to make him more crafty, have him angry that his employees just left a big clue for the protagonists.

Now our brief time with Anna showed that humanized angels can still pick up what the show likes to call "angel radio". Let Castiel have that, though you can make it a bit different from Anna's power since there are some differences in their circumstances. Maybe he can even hear a near constant lament by his siblings of their pain and confusion (because this is SPN and we can always use more angst). Still this allows him to react to the angel that tries to get the jump on him on the bus. Cas doesn't want to kill a brother but when he hears the angel start to reveal that Castiel is human, he ends up stabbing the guy.

Switch to Bart & company, they realize they haven't found Cas because they've been looking for an angel like themselves, they need to look for a human.

Winchester scenes, no real change.

Now when Castiel runs into April, this is the big change. Don't just have her offer him food, have her actually give him some work in the same place she is at. He can adopt the name "Stephen" while he's working since he's feeling like a martyr right now. So they have a day together and she invites him back to her place. Up until now in the episode the writers could have a theme of Castiel struggling with his unfamiliar human urges and controlling them (like the early pee joke) with a few minor tweaks and adjustments. Which means that when he's with April, Cas could find himself experiencing a new urge that leads to April teaching him what "knowing biblically" means. This would set up a line like "I now get the pizza man" and leave an opening for the Destiel fans.

Next day, an angel attacks the apartment before the two head to work. April helps Castiel defeat he/she/it but she is mortally wounded in the process. Cas reflexively tries to heal her but... he can't (cue stoic tears). Then Castiel sends a message over angel radio. A message that maybe Zeke can "take over" to deliver to Dean. A message that allows him and every other angel to start honing in on Cas' location. The message Cas says is along the lines of "I'm not your enemy. Killing me will get you nothing. Harm no other innocent." Then he dramatically gets the tattoo that hides him from his siblings - shutting off the angel radio - and Dean & Zeke (I picture the scene as Zeke telling Dean he's lost Cas when they're right outside a sizable town that he was "last scene in", giving a shot of Dean realizing he's lost Cas in the proverbial haystack).

If you want yet MORE angst and pathos, then cut to something like Castiel sitting on a bus alone. He has April's purse with him and starts digging through it looking for money and anything else useful. (maybe finds a picture that makes him sad) But he does find her cellphone so he calls Dean (because of course he has Dean's number memorized). Dean picks up and Cas tells him something like "I won't put anyone else at risk. Don't look for me." Close episode. Now just imagine all that this would add to episode 9.06. You wouldn't have to change anything except the dialog references to 9.03. Cas feels conflicted over getting close to Nora. He's not thrilled at Dean contact him since that means Dean's in trouble. The line "Time was I could put my fingers here and cure you" (or whatever it was) gains extra layers to it. The Rit Zien is a nightmare come true as now Castiel believe he's put a baby in danger. We could let "rogue reapers" lie dead in Taxi Driver. Heck it would even add more emotion to 9.04 and 9.05 as Dean would be even less willing to let Charlie - yet more family - go and he might then better grasp the appeal of pets, maybe even let the Colonel comfort him a bit.

That's why I hate 9.03 even more now than I did the first time I watched it. Because it was a waste. Because there was almost nothing within it that advanced anything which 9.06 did not. And it would have required so little effort to make it a pretty good episode.

(cross posted @ http://natewinchester.wordpress.com/2013/11/17/how-im-no-angel-could-have-been-divine/)


Comments  

cheryl42
# cheryl42 2013-11-18 10:16
Hm...to each his own I guess. I really liked Caged Heat.
cheryl42
# cheryl42 2013-11-18 10:16
Hm...to each his own I guess. I really liked Caged Heat.
Trucklady
# Trucklady 2013-11-18 10:30
Nate I have to say that you are one of the most negative writers on this site. I'm still not sure why you even watch the show since you seem to be so displeased at just about everything the PTB write. Personally, I didn't like one of your options and am perfectly happy with the way the story is going but, like your opinions, that is mine. Just saying. Like cheryl42 said above, to each his own.
Trucklady
# Trucklady 2013-11-18 10:30
Nate I have to say that you are one of the most negative writers on this site. I'm still not sure why you even watch the show since you seem to be so displeased at just about everything the PTB write. Personally, I didn't like one of your options and am perfectly happy with the way the story is going but, like your opinions, that is mine. Just saying. Like cheryl42 said above, to each his own.
Manstrad
# Manstrad 2013-11-18 11:40
I don't like when a show gives everything on a plate, like we said it in my family, I like when a simple scene makes your imagination run wild, that is the beauty of Supernatural you just realize that with the Destiel, Sam vs Dean.... fans, how they see the things they see and others don't.
About the pizza man... Cass "knows", he is inside Jimmy after all. He may not know porn or "the lingo" or experience the feelings, but he knows!!...LOL
Oh! and I liked Cage Heat, by the way.
Manstrad
# Manstrad 2013-11-18 11:40
I don't like when a show gives everything on a plate, like we said it in my family, I like when a simple scene makes your imagination run wild, that is the beauty of Supernatural you just realize that with the Destiel, Sam vs Dean.... fans, how they see the things they see and others don't.
About the pizza man... Cass "knows", he is inside Jimmy after all. He may not know porn or "the lingo" or experience the feelings, but he knows!!...LOL
Oh! and I liked Cage Heat, by the way.
Ale
# Ale 2013-11-18 15:14
"In the case of SPN, it's why we don't see them driving around looking for a parking space or actually filling out the forms for the credit card scams; such is a waste minutes out of the hour we have with them each week."

Man, I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, to see those scenes! I woudn't mind AT ALL to see one or a couple of episodes of the boys dealing with daily routines. I would gladly make an exchange with a MOTW episode. :D :lol: :-) ;-) :P (that is how much happy I would be!)
Ale
# Ale 2013-11-18 15:14
"In the case of SPN, it's why we don't see them driving around looking for a parking space or actually filling out the forms for the credit card scams; such is a waste minutes out of the hour we have with them each week."

Man, I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, to see those scenes! I woudn't mind AT ALL to see one or a couple of episodes of the boys dealing with daily routines. I would gladly make an exchange with a MOTW episode. :D :lol: :-) ;-) :P (that is how much happy I would be!)
Ale
# Ale 2013-11-18 15:27
"That's why I hate 9.03 even more now than I did the first time I watched it. Because it was a waste. Because there was almost nothing within it that advanced anything which 9.06 did not. And it would have required so little effort to make it a pretty good episode."

Actually, nobody can say this till the end of the season, or even the series. We don't know the writers plan. One or two little words in an episode is able to change everything when seen in retrospective, after a revealing future plot (see the iconic "I'm sorry" from Mary to Sam in S01).
Ale
# Ale 2013-11-18 15:27
"That's why I hate 9.03 even more now than I did the first time I watched it. Because it was a waste. Because there was almost nothing within it that advanced anything which 9.06 did not. And it would have required so little effort to make it a pretty good episode."

Actually, nobody can say this till the end of the season, or even the series. We don't know the writers plan. One or two little words in an episode is able to change everything when seen in retrospective, after a revealing future plot (see the iconic "I'm sorry" from Mary to Sam in S01).
alice
# alice 2013-11-18 20:04
I'm with you Ale, I'd love to see the scenes too! I'm never going to tell a writer how to do their job, but honestly I explore "what if" in some of my reviews if I see a missed opportunity. It's fun to consider something else, especially in an episode that wasn't really that popular. I still hate the way they went with that ep.

The criticism "If you don't like it don't watch" is against one of our rules, but that rule was stated from the perspective of other posters and not the reviewer themselves. Still, here's the rule (#9):

We welcome all opinions here, good and bad. Anyone who posts the comment "If you don't like it, don't watch" in response to a critical or negative post will have their post edited immediately. No warnings. That does not promote the spirit of discussion that we have here.

Now, I'm not going to edit this time. I obviously wrote that rule while being very fed up one day with an ambush on some posters. But still, why does everything written have to be upbeat and positive? That's why we have a diverse staff of writers, because we all vary in our opinions. I happen to agree with Nate on this one, but I do understand it is unpopular opinion as well. He asked if it was okay to post this and I gave him the go ahead. Sure, he understood he'd get harsh comments about it too, but he watches because he cares. You don't watch a show for 9 seasons and bail on it because there are issues. That's asking a lot.

Thank you, I'll step off my soap box now.

P.S. I really loved "Caged Heat" too!
Alice
# Alice 2013-11-18 20:04
I'm with you Ale, I'd love to see the scenes too! I'm never going to tell a writer how to do their job, but honestly I explore "what if" in some of my reviews if I see a missed opportunity. It's fun to consider something else, especially in an episode that wasn't really that popular. I still hate the way they went with that ep.

The criticism "If you don't like it don't watch" is against one of our rules, but that rule was stated from the perspective of other posters and not the reviewer themselves. Still, here's the rule (#9):

We welcome all opinions here, good and bad. Anyone who posts the comment "If you don't like it, don't watch" in response to a critical or negative post will have their post edited immediately. No warnings. That does not promote the spirit of discussion that we have here.

Now, I'm not going to edit this time. I obviously wrote that rule while being very fed up one day with an ambush on some posters. But still, why does everything written have to be upbeat and positive? That's why we have a diverse staff of writers, because we all vary in our opinions. I happen to agree with Nate on this one, but I do understand it is unpopular opinion as well. He asked if it was okay to post this and I gave him the go ahead. Sure, he understood he'd get harsh comments about it too, but he watches because he cares. You don't watch a show for 9 seasons and bail on it because there are issues. That's asking a lot.

Thank you, I'll step off my soap box now.

P.S. I really loved "Caged Heat" too!
eilf
# eilf 2013-11-18 22:03
So Nate there are good episodes, bad episodes, really epically bad episodes and then there are episodes that make no sense at all but we loves em anyway :D I think (from the posts so far) ;lots of people feel that way about Caged Heat.. I love it too, it is one of my go to episodes because: 'plot of 'Raiders' / will you, Boy? / 'I'm not supposed to talk about it' / 'the pizzaman' / hellhounds / 'consider yourself lucky' etc, it is great! ....
I read your post about it and I can't fault your logic on the plotholes (or the anguish it caused you - did you end up having to kick things? :-) ), and in fact with your catalogue you even missed the physical impossibility of what Sam gets up to in the prison cell.
But it is active, witty, entertaining, has pretty much the entire cast, and everyone looks gorgeous in it so ... I think you are going to remain outnumbered. on that.
I wish I felt strongly enough about the glaring errors in 9.03 (and these new creatures called 'reapers') to either agree with or argue with you but I don't. For me it was an entertaining hour of tv, and a fairly entetaining episode of SPN. Anyhow it is possible that down the road there will be a good reason why Castiel needed to be in the bunker long enough to be ousted, so maybe your retcon won't be necessary?
I enjoy your reviews. Keep em up :-)
eilf
# eilf 2013-11-18 22:03
So Nate there are good episodes, bad episodes, really epically bad episodes and then there are episodes that make no sense at all but we loves em anyway :D I think (from the posts so far) ;lots of people feel that way about Caged Heat.. I love it too, it is one of my go to episodes because: 'plot of 'Raiders' / will you, Boy? / 'I'm not supposed to talk about it' / 'the pizzaman' / hellhounds / 'consider yourself lucky' etc, it is great! ....
I read your post about it and I can't fault your logic on the plotholes (or the anguish it caused you - did you end up having to kick things? :-) ), and in fact with your catalogue you even missed the physical impossibility of what Sam gets up to in the prison cell.
But it is active, witty, entertaining, has pretty much the entire cast, and everyone looks gorgeous in it so ... I think you are going to remain outnumbered. on that.
I wish I felt strongly enough about the glaring errors in 9.03 (and these new creatures called 'reapers') to either agree with or argue with you but I don't. For me it was an entertaining hour of tv, and a fairly entetaining episode of SPN. Anyhow it is possible that down the road there will be a good reason why Castiel needed to be in the bunker long enough to be ousted, so maybe your retcon won't be necessary?
I enjoy your reviews. Keep em up :-)
ME
# ME 2013-11-19 06:59
I applaud you Nate. Not all your solutions totally work for me, but I respect the effort that you put into wanting to like this episode. Personally, I've been trying to forget the second half of that episode, it hasn't worked yet, but maybe in time. I usually enjoy your insights, and appreciate the balance that your not-so-popular opinions bring to the discussion. Balance in all things is always welcome, in my opinion. ;)

Also, Caged Heat--not one of my favs, but not a total failure either.
ME
# ME 2013-11-19 06:59
I applaud you Nate. Not all your solutions totally work for me, but I respect the effort that you put into wanting to like this episode. Personally, I've been trying to forget the second half of that episode, it hasn't worked yet, but maybe in time. I usually enjoy your insights, and appreciate the balance that your not-so-popular opinions bring to the discussion. Balance in all things is always welcome, in my opinion. ;)

Also, Caged Heat--not one of my favs, but not a total failure either.
Nate Winchester
# Nate Winchester 2013-11-19 09:00
Quote:
P.S. I really loved "Caged Heat" too!
What? Alice?? That's it I quit!

...nah j/k. :D ;-) I will admit that in a reverse of this case, "The Man who Would be King" did improve & raise the value of "Caged Heat" so I'll freely admit it can work both ways.

Quote:
I don't like when a show gives everything on a plate, like we said it in my family, I like when a simple scene makes your imagination run wild, that is the beauty of Supernatural you just realize that with the Destiel, Sam vs Dean.... fans, how they see the things they see and others don't.
If I'm understanding you right, keep in mind that my fixing was coached in script terms. A lot of expressing of scenes and emotions would be up to the director, music director and actors. So when I put something like: "Cas reflexively tries to heal her but... he can't (cue stoic tears)." how that idea is expressed and how subtle/overt it is would totally be up to Misha and the director.

Quote:
Man, I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, to see those scenes! I woudn't mind AT ALL to see one or a couple of episodes of the boys dealing with daily routines. I would gladly make an exchange with a MOTW episode. :D :lol: :-) ;-) :P (that is how much happy I would be!)
Actually that does bring up a corollary of the Law of Conservation of Detail. That is: "the longer a work goes on, the more entertaining previously mundane details would become". Thus why now, after 9 seasons really dull moments (such as you mention) would end up being pretty entertaining while they would have been much less acceptable to the audience back in say... season 1 or 2.

Fiction is kind of funny that way. XD
Nate Winchester
# Nate Winchester 2013-11-19 09:00
Quote:
P.S. I really loved "Caged Heat" too!
What? Alice?? That's it I quit!

...nah j/k. :D ;-) I will admit that in a reverse of this case, "The Man who Would be King" did improve & raise the value of "Caged Heat" so I'll freely admit it can work both ways.

Quote:
I don't like when a show gives everything on a plate, like we said it in my family, I like when a simple scene makes your imagination run wild, that is the beauty of Supernatural you just realize that with the Destiel, Sam vs Dean.... fans, how they see the things they see and others don't.
If I'm understanding you right, keep in mind that my fixing was coached in script terms. A lot of expressing of scenes and emotions would be up to the director, music director and actors. So when I put something like: "Cas reflexively tries to heal her but... he can't (cue stoic tears)." how that idea is expressed and how subtle/overt it is would totally be up to Misha and the director.

Quote:
Man, I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, to see those scenes! I woudn't mind AT ALL to see one or a couple of episodes of the boys dealing with daily routines. I would gladly make an exchange with a MOTW episode. :D :lol: :-) ;-) :P (that is how much happy I would be!)
Actually that does bring up a corollary of the Law of Conservation of Detail. That is: "the longer a work goes on, the more entertaining previously mundane details would become". Thus why now, after 9 seasons really dull moments (such as you mention) would end up being pretty entertaining while they would have been much less acceptable to the audience back in say... season 1 or 2.

Fiction is kind of funny that way. XD
cheryl42
# cheryl42 2013-11-19 09:36
Actually Jared and Jensen could read the telephone book for 40 min. and make it pretty entertaining. There were a lot of us that wondered how they got their credit cards, when they did there laundry (thank you Chuck) and wanted more shower scenes even in season 1.
cheryl42
# cheryl42 2013-11-19 09:36
Actually Jared and Jensen could read the telephone book for 40 min. and make it pretty entertaining. There were a lot of us that wondered how they got their credit cards, when they did there laundry (thank you Chuck) and wanted more shower scenes even in season 1.
valoryhope
# valoryhope 2013-11-19 23:49
I loved your "rewrite" of "I'm No Angel". Very good insights, and a great sense of balance and plot/character development. How I wish you were doing all the scripts for the show! (P.S. I HATE "Caged Heat".)
valoryhope
# valoryhope 2013-11-19 23:49
I loved your "rewrite" of "I'm No Angel". Very good insights, and a great sense of balance and plot/character development. How I wish you were doing all the scripts for the show! (P.S. I HATE "Caged Heat".)
Nate Winchester
# Nate Winchester 2013-11-22 08:53
Hah, thanks valoryhope but nah, I couldn't do all the scripts for the show. Those things really are a team effort, I'd be happy just being a part of the group. :)
Nate Winchester
# Nate Winchester 2013-11-22 08:53
Hah, thanks valoryhope but nah, I couldn't do all the scripts for the show. Those things really are a team effort, I'd be happy just being a part of the group. :)