Way back in season one, I fell in love with Supernatural. It didn't happen at the very beginning. Oh, I watched and enjoyed the pilot – I'd respected Jensen Ackles since the Pollo Loco episode of Dark Angel, so I knew I'd check this out – but I didn't realize the complexity and depth of what I was seeing until Faith aired. Ever since then, I was committed.

In the years since, I've done a lot of commentary on Supernatural. I was very regular for a long time – basically seasons two through six, and then again in season eight. But I've been dilatory since then, and I won't be continuing with any regularity. For that, I apologize.


1 Pilot Family

You see, Supernatural made me look deeply not only at the show, but at all the things I believed and did. For that, I owe the show a debt I'll never be able to repay. Supernatural made me a better and more complete human being. In analyzing the brothers, their relationship, their family, their universe, and their world, I came to a better understanding of myself, my family, and my world. I elucidated my beliefs in words I wouldn't have found without Supernatural making me look for them. I dealt with my dad's death years ago, my mother's decline into Alzheimer's, my own decision to retire from the U.S. EPA, and my determination since then to find my own path. I defined my personal philosophy. I even found ways to remove my own negative emotions from judgments and interactions with people who vehemently disagreed with me. The show had a place in all of that.

I don't see the same depth in Supernatural now as I did in the past. That may be simply because I no longer need to see it; alternatively, it may be that it has become a more shallow and formulaic show. I'm not sufficiently objective to judge. I love what I used to perceive too much to not mourn its perceived absence now.

Goodbye 10 10 2013 10 35 02 PM 1366x768

So if my voice is absent from this site and from Supernatural commentary in general, please forgive me my silence. I still love Jensen and Jared as much as ever. I still appreciate the artistry and professionalism of all the production staff. I am more grateful than I can say to Eric Kripke, Sera Gamble, Ben Edlund, Bob Singer, Serge Ladouceur, Jerry Wanek, Mark Meloche, Ryan Curtis, Kevin Parks, and all the writers, artists, directors, editors, production crew, and creative staff of the show over the years.

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But if I have nothing positive and new to contribute in commentary, I'm not going to write any. I will not bitch and moan about things I don't see, or things I want and don't perceive. Supernatural isn't my show to write, direct, or produce. It is still mine to watch. I'll enjoy a lot of what I see – we've got the best actors, directors, set designers and dressers, makeup and special effects artists, and lighting, stunt, and camera crews in the business. While I'll also have inevitable complaints, I think the world has enough people griping without me adding to the noise.

I'll cling to the positive. I'll always owe Supernatural.

1 4 10 BoysandBottles


I'm content with that.

Comments  

love2boys
# love2boys 2015-08-01 19:11
I miss you. I love your writing. Some of your writing made me ache to actually talk to you, and this was years ago and you had written that piece years before that. Just know that whatever touched you about SPN that move you to write moved some of the rest of us to become YOUR fans! Enough of that... I loved the pilot, and I loved the show for ten years, although a couple of seasons depressed the heck out of me. (I need the security of knowing somewhere in the world or SPNworld that someone loves someone enough to be there for them. I don't know if people actually experience that in real life.)
amazed11
# amazed11 2015-08-01 23:02
Thank you Mary, you have such a beautiful way of expressing what many of us possibly don't even realize we are feeling.

Quote:
I don't see the same depth in Supernatural now as I did in the past. That may be simply because I no longer need to see it; alternatively, it may be that it has become a more shallow and formulaic show. I'm not sufficiently objective to judge. I love what I used to perceive too much to not mourn its perceived absence now.


I still love "my show", although I recognize in myself a lessening in intensity as my life has evolved over the last ten years and I'm not the same person I was in 2005. I have grown so much as would the vast majority of viewers who have watched Supernatural in real time since it first aired on our tv screens. For many of us riding that emotional roller-coaster at the end of every season not knowing if it was to be the last, added to the intensity which newer viewers are unlikely to experience quite as severely. I'm fascinated with numerology and how it plays out in our lives as we continue on our learning journey in nine year cycles! Nothing is meant to stagnate for without change we have no growth and without growth we cease to live to our fullest potential.

Quote:
Supernatural isn't my show to write, direct, or produce. It is still mine to watch. I'll enjoy a lot of what I see – we've got the best actors, directors, set designers and dressers, makeup and special effects artists, and lighting, stunt, and camera crews in the business.


Yes, yes, yes, so totally agree. Thank you again Mary, for the many hours of enjoyable reading and thought provoking insights, way back to (I think it was) the TV Guide forums, and continue to live your life with your wonderful positive attitude. Hopefully there may be a few gems in season 11 to draw you into some commentary again.:)
Anita
cheryl42
# cheryl42 2015-08-01 23:14
Thank you Mary. I too miss your voice. I love your analysis of the show and I never miss any article you write. The show may not be what it once was but I too owe it so much. So much so that I will stick with it until the end. The boys are now men. They aren't in every scene in every episode (I am firmly convinced if that were still the case the show would still be on top of it's game). The stories have changed. The cast has changed. I don't love every episode but I still love the show. It is still must see for me.

I will see it through. I have to know how it all ends (many years from now I hope). And I will read your articles whenever the inspiration hits you.
Jen
# Jen 2015-08-02 04:34
Such a personnal article you wrote not so much about the show but more about yourself. You gave us a look inside Mary and you appear to be a strong but emmotional person.

I didn't come to the show till late last yr and I binge watched every episode night after night day after day. Neglecting many things around me. I needed this show then and I still do. I love Jensen and Jared on and off the screen and find myself sitting dreamly thinking of them. I have such a poor impression of my own life that I now have a "unhealthy obssesion with theirs and the show
I need to find the strength to move on and at the same time Love the show for what it is. Then I will have found the ability to move forward like you Mary Thank you xo.
spnlit
# spnlit 2015-08-03 13:36
I thank you for your many years of insightful writing. I too was deeply and profoundly effected by the show and had difficulty at first trying to understand why. (I do not watch television). I read your articles and not only found them interesting and thought provoking but realized that other intelligent professional women shared my view and I was not over reacting. Yes, Supernatural also caused me to look deeply not only at the show, but also personal/ larger issues such as my work, beliefs, the meaning of being human, relationships, family, the universe. Thank you for your sharing and facilitating the discussion. Hope you are inspired again.
sylvia37
# sylvia37 2015-08-03 21:44
Thanks Mary for so many great articles and commentaries. I'll definitely miss your voice.
bjxmas
# bjxmas 2015-08-04 22:28
Wow, Mary, every word resonates with me! I feel like I could have written this because so many life experiences are the same! I too came to Supernatural because of Jensen and his riveting ability to draw us into his characters. I enjoyed Supernatural from the start, was relieved Jensen actually had an interesting character and the writers seemed able to write for him, but yes, Faith changed the playing field and S2 then upped the intensity of all Kripke accomplished with his little show. That's when my complete devotion and obsession with Supernatural took on a life of its own and I've never looked back! John's death and how the boys dealt with it helped me examine and truly feel my own father's death. Then we share the loss of our moms to dementia and Alzheimer's, thank you for your guidance and support as I now walk the path you've walked!

I was never good at writing commentary and analyzing the show, but it did propel me down the road to writing fanfics. I'll forever be grateful to Kripke and his writers for inspiring me and allowing me to play in their sandbox! I'm not sure if it's the time constraints or I don't have the driving need to further explore the Winchesters lives, but I can relate to the urge to write declining. I will always love Supernatural and the boys, I will always watch every episode as it airs and rewatch, but maybe it is that there simply aren't any new directions to take or shocks to jolt us?! I long for the years of discovery with our Winchesters, the risks they took and the challenges the writers put on themselves. Supernatural may not be at the level of complexity it once was, but even a lackluster ep of Supernatural still beats so many other shows.

I too will strive to not complain or lament what once was, instead enjoying every moment we have with the Winchesters and our amazing cast of characters and actors. I feel so blessed that I was there in the beginning, through every up and down, through the fears and the exhilartion as each new season was finally confirmed. It's been one hell of a ride, and I am still recruiting so others might know the joy Supernatural has given me and just how much it has enriched my life!

Thanks Mary, for sharing your story.
bjxmas
# bjxmas 2015-08-04 22:28
Wow, Mary, every word resonates with me! I feel like I could have written this because so many life experiences are the same! I too came to Supernatural because of Jensen and his riveting ability to draw us into his characters. I enjoyed Supernatural from the start, was relieved Jensen actually had an interesting character and the writers seemed able to write for him, but yes, Faith changed the playing field and S2 then upped the intensity of all Kripke accomplished with his little show. That's when my complete devotion and obsession with Supernatural took on a life of its own and I've never looked back! John's death and how the boys dealt with it helped me examine and truly feel my own father's death. Then we share the loss of our moms to dementia and Alzheimer's, thank you for your guidance and support as I now walk the path you've walked!

I was never good at writing commentary and analyzing the show, but it did propel me down the road to writing fanfics. I'll forever be grateful to Kripke and his writers for inspiring me and allowing me to play in their sandbox! I'm not sure if it's the time constraints or I don't have the driving need to further explore the Winchesters lives, but I can relate to the urge to write declining. I will always love Supernatural and the boys, I will always watch every episode as it airs and rewatch, but maybe it is that there simply aren't any new directions to take or shocks to jolt us?! I long for the years of discovery with our Winchesters, the risks they took and the challenges the writers put on themselves. Supernatural may not be at the level of complexity it once was, but even a lackluster ep of Supernatural still beats so many other shows.

I too will strive to not complain or lament what once was, instead enjoying every moment we have with the Winchesters and our amazing cast of characters and actors. I feel so blessed that I was there in the beginning, through every up and down, through the fears and the exhilartion as each new season was finally confirmed. It's been one hell of a ride, and I am still recruiting so others might know the joy Supernatural has given me and just how much it has enriched my life!

Thanks Mary, for sharing your story.