-
Crowley: They told me Prince was here so I came to party like it's 1999. Bollocks.
-

-
Crowley: Don't look so glum. I brought you a present. Your own personal, well, you know. Trust me, you'll forget all about the Borg.
-

-
Crowley: Brought a present for a fisherman - the Lance of Michael.
Ramiel: Sweet...those big ones won't be getting away, now!
-

-
Crowley: They told me you whistle while you work so I was expecting someone shorter.
-

-
Crowley: They told me you liked fisting.
Ramiel: That's fishing. I like fishing, you idiot.
-

Now Ramiel you can take what my lovely assistant here has under the cloth OR what's behind door number 2 LET'S... MAKE....A.... DEAL

-
Crowley: Halloween's coming soon and I don't know what to be.
Ramiel: You can always stick out your tongue and go as a hemorrhoid.
-

-
Crowley: We're from the Senior Care Center and this is nurse Goodhurt.
Ronnie: I'll be giving you your enema today.
Ramiel: So, you're gonna ram Ramiel, uh?
-

-
Ramiel: Our Hillary lost....
Crowley: But the Cubs won, Brexit won!
Ramiel: ...and my Falcons lost.
Crowley: Bollocks...Tom Brady must be a god.
-

Crowley: What do you say we get Prince and "The New Power Generation" back together?

-
Crowley: Why don't you want to be King of Hell?
Ramiel: Hell is on earth now. It's called humanity.
-

-
Crowley: You're a Prince, we're The New Power Generation. Whatta ya say?
-

*Female Demon singing under her breath*

"I'm stuck in the middle with you..."

Crowley: "Michaels Lance in exchange for Season Elevens myth arc, right?"

Amadeus: "Why are you asking me?"

Crowley: "Because you're Bob Singer!"

Amadeus: "Sorry, no. But I'm evil enough to be!"

Female Demon: "Idiot. Even I can see that. Next you'll be calling me Jeremy Carver!"



AlyCat: "I'll NEVER FORGET Nate. NEVER. And as Chuck is my witness..."

Nate: *OPT slips down his cheek* "Tell name you will stop... tell me you CAN stop!"

AlyCat: "I will NEVER STOP!"

-
A Dark Delight


Ramiel: So what brings a demon to disturb my rest,
A petition, a test, a plea for bequest?

Crowley: Crowley's the name and deals are my game.
A Kingdom, a crown, and for you a new name.

Ramiel: The Kingdom, the crown - once a dark delight,
have faded now, they've lost their might.

Crowley: I've nothing to sell if you forsake Hell,
please explain to me, this isn't going well.

Ramiel: Hell feels more at home amongst humanity,
We're bereft and abandoned to sort our insanity.

Crowley: So this is the reason you whistle and fish,
I'm taken aback, this is no demons wish.

Ramiel: Take heart in His wisdom in creating his swill,
and bide your time, He gave them free will.

Crowley: So humanity's end will be unique to their manner,
and demons will cheer as we raise our dark banner.
-
Randall Jech aka Mayhem

Crowley: No I never watched Survivor. But aren't we supposed to pass on a torch or a lance or something when Lucifer gets voted off the Island?

Crowley:
Listen, Ramy, I know we discussed getting Michael's Shield, but trust me, this Lance practically buys itself.

Ramiel:
No. I want the Shield. It was on sale this week and you promised you'd take care of it!

Crowley:
Just look at the Lance. I know you'll love it. I think it really brings out your eyes, too.

Ramiel:
Dammit Crowley. You always do this. You try to emotionally manipulate me into getting things you want. Don't think I haven't forgotten about Raphael's Chestplate! I don't care what you say, I know that thing made me look fat!

Crowley:
Awe, Ramy, don't talk like that! You know I care. Just try it. Believe me, you'll be thanking me. Besides, who takes care of you, like me? And look! I even got you a demon to go with it! I always think of you, my cuddly bear.

Ramiel:
Oh, Crowley, ya know, that was thoughtful. Awe shucks, I can't stay mad at you, my little snuggle muffin. Ok, fine, I'll try it.

Female Demon:
Oh. My. Chuck. Can someone just stab me in the face? I would seriously rather be back in hell. How did I get stuck in the middle with you?!