Are you still blown away by the season 9 premiere? Cas is not an angel, Sam is an angel, Ezekiel is a hidden angel, Hael is a mad angel, and there are plenty of dangerous, scary, treacherous angels walking the earth. Dean is tortured by the choice he had to make…again…and Death got cheated…again! So much angst. So much hurt. So much emotional drama, and we are back to waiting for our boys to work out this whole mess…again! 

Let’s do something together to help get our minds off the unbearable waiting and wondering. I considered writing something thought provoking about season 9, maybe something related to the characters or the plot, so you could analyze, debate, predict and theorize. Then I thought, no, let’s give the bromotions a rest and use the less serious side of our brains for a while (is there a side that doesn’t constantly think about this show??). What is the most calming, non-controversial, light-hearted thing we can discuss? I know! Wallpaper!  Not just any wallpaper, though.  No. Let’s look at the wallpaper in Sam and Dean’s bedrooms! (Well, I don’t know if that will get our minds off of the boys at all, but at least we’ll be thinking about something different for a while).

We have seen Dean’s bedroom in the MOL bunker with its weapons and photos. Season 9 will hopefully treat us to a look at Sam’s new bedroom, too,  so I tried to imagine what Sam’s room would look like.  He doesn’t have any hobbies that I can think of.  He has no real memories of his mother, and few good memories of his father, his girlfriends or his extended family, so pictures seem unlikely.  Exactly what will he use to make the room his own? That got me thinking about the room decorations in all of the boys’ previous bedrooms. In the picture shown above from the premiere, Dean and Ezekiel admire Dean’s attempt to spruce up Sammy’s current accommodations.  After all, we all know that hospital walls can be drab and uninspiring.  Most of the time, though, our boys stay in some pretty exotic places. Let’s face it - the décor in some of their motel rooms would wake the dead (if you’ll pardon the expression)! So what were the craziest motel rooms that had the honor of housing Sam and Dean Winchester?

When rating motel rooms, I decided to look solely at their wallpaper. Yes, there were great room dividers, outrageous tile, loud bed spreads and really ugly curtains, but really, the wallpaper they’ve endured truly deserves some recognition all its own. I looked at motel rooms from all eight prior seasons, but limited my collection to what was on the walls of the temporary lodgings where the boys slept. I eliminated permanent homes, homes in dreams and rooms in alternate universes that might have given the creative team more latitude in their designs. It was hard to narrow it down, but here is my view of the top 15 craziest wallpapers that ever shared a room with our boys.

Honorable Mention - City Centre Motor Hotel (3.03)

Motel 3.03 City Centre


Poor Sammy.  Left behind again while Dean goes out and does all the exciting stuff.  Takes being a “wall flower” to a whole new level. Well, at least he is in good company in this room! Flowers gone wild is a recurring theme in so many of the rooms where Sam and Dean have stayed. Killer flowers…flowers climbing walls…I wonder if there is a metaphor there somewhere…

#15 The Kingpin Motel (1.18)

Motel 1.18 Kingpin

The boys got used to tacky accommodations at a very early age.  No wonder they grew up with childhood issues…

 
#14 Day-Z Motel (5.08)

Motel 5.08 DayZ

Boys, you think this wallpaper is loud?  Just wait until you see what the Trickster’s motel room looks like!


#13 Unknown Motel (5.13)

Motel 5.13

I actually think I could get used to this one.  It looks like a bubble machine went wild, but if you don’t stare at it too long…


#12 Regent Motel (5.01)

Motel 5.01 Regent

Sam, you picked this room, so don’t get mad at Dean for the green kissing lips all over the walls!

 
#11 The Aardvark Motel (2.07)

Motel 2.07 Aardvark

Sorry, but male and female anatomy comes to mind whenever I look at this design. Wonder what you’re supposed to think of when you look at it...


#10 Unknown Motel (1.21)

Motel 1.21

School is calling…they say some kid left his Geometry project taped up to the walls of this room. He wants it back.


#9 Tiki Motel (7.14)

Motel 7.14 Tiki

Palm trees, hula dancers and tiki huts.  Well, I don’t blame you boys for choosing this room.  It just might be the closest you’ll ever get to an island vacation!  Sam, I’d watch out for the creepy mask in the bathroom, though. Its eyes seem to be watching you…

 
#8
The Starburst Motel (3.14)

Motel 3.14 Starburst

Dean, buddy, we all make mistakes!  Yes, when you opened the door to this motel room you should have closed the door and kept driving, but don’t let it get you down!


#7 The Astoria (4.01)

Motel 4.01 Astoria

We can’t believe it either, Dean!  It seems the decorator for this hotel used to be a hunter too, only their prey was skinned and mounted on your walls!


#6 Diamond Jack’s (5.14)

Motel 5.14

Dean, are you aware that right behind you a red superball is bouncing back and forth, up and down, over and over and over…


#5 Unknown Motel (2.11)

Motel 2.11

C’mon. You’re two of the best hunters around and you don’t think these look like eyeballs?


#4 Cicero Motel (5.07)

Motel 507 edited-1

Sam, Look Out! You are standing next to several inter-dimensional portals that are slowly stretching open until they swallow you whole!


#3 The Boogie Inn (1.19)

Motel 1.19 Boogie Inn

The black and white endlessly repeating pattern isn’t that bad by itself. It’s the cumulative effect of trying to look at a whole wall of it at once! Seizure, anyone? Blink….just blink…


#2 The Blue Rose Motel (2.10)

Motel 2.10 Blue Rose

Ava’s had enough! First, visions of Sam dying and now these remnants of someone’s psychedelic acid trip!


#1 The Aviary Hotel (3.10)

Motel 3.10 Aviary

Boys, I’d keep an eye on those birds if I were you!  You never know when one of them is going to jump off that wall and eat you for dinner!

So there you have it. Sixteen of the wildest, loudest, craziest room decors ever! Not too many from seasons 7 and 8 because as the boys matured, it seems so did their choice in motels. Still, there were so many more that I didn’t include.  Flowers and flocks, dancing animals and animal heads...maybe I’ll have to do Round 2.  I suppose that will depend on the emotional trauma we are all subjected to during the remaining 22 episodes in season 9. Now back to our regularly scheduled angst-analyzing reviews…. 

Thanks so much to Home of the Nutty, Supernatural Wiki, and Ash48 for their help with some of these great scenes.