The Winchester Family Business

 
Some times in life one comes to a point of no return. When a scientist discovers a rare and special breed he experiences such a moment. It’s a moment of rare drama, too. How to categorise it? What name should be given? Which magazines/stations informed? We, at the Winchester Family Business Gazette, call ourselves lucky to stand on the list of essential online newspapers scientists do inform. 
 
Thus, again, our intrepid, insomnia ignoring and fatigue defying reporter Jaspala Wesson has hunted down the researchers who classified this recently discovered kind – the Kansas Shepherd. Not often in the history of fauna two rare species are discovered in close proximity. The unearthing of the Jaredoodle has led to another significant discovery: the amazing and astoundingly rare Kansas Shepherd. 
 

 
The honour of naming this new species fell to its discoverer, the highly respected Prof. E.S. Kripek. After finding this new, loveable kind to be native to Kansas, he named it the Kansas Shepherd (Canis Lupus Familiaris Acklesiensis), in devotion to one of his sons. 
 
History 
 
It is assumed that the Kansas Shepherd’s origins date back to the 1850s, when the Wild West flourished and need for fearless, intelligent and caring companions was great. Though their development is largely undocumented, there is some rare evidence on century old photographs with characteristic and typical coat of choice, a serape. 
 

 
The Kansas Shepherd’s historic profession is hunting, specifically the bolting of paranormal creatures, such as ghosts, demons, even angels. In a time when supernatural dangers flooded the country, this special kind was trained to work in a pack, bolting after demons, driving them out from their hiding spots and into the line of sight of other hunters, then often on horses. Furthermore, they have been known to find unusual methods, such as holy oil, to hold their captives.
 
Specifying with time to work in smaller groups and alone, this species – being a versatile hunter – trained with either one person or a small party. History shows, however, that the Kansas Shepherd is most effective when hunting with a brother from the same brood. Crosses with other hunters provided for excellently selected genes to optimize this kind’s abilities. It is not clear, though, whether this species has descended from other famous hunter lines, such as Canis Campbellicus or Canis Chesteri. 
 
Description
 
Appearance
 
The Kansas Shepherd is a balanced, well-proportioned breed with distinctive, often self-assured fiery green eyes and short, slightly unruly hair and freckled skin that, when fed-well and healthy, exudes life and spontaneity. They are remarkable in combining power and swiftness with keen sight, which makes them superb snipers.
 

 
 
Muscular, strong, yet gracefully built, the Kansas Shepherd can grow to the height of 6’1” and, despite his size, can appear sturdy and almost short when hunting with companions of higher built. This phenomenon, though, serves as marvellous camouflage which tends to surprise game and admirers alike.
 
People coming into contact with the Kansas Shepherd are reported to have exclaimed ‘he is taller than I thought’ which this exceptional kind tends to accept with humour and irony – a trait they are famed for.
The Kansas Shepherd is also adored for his musical talent. Experts expect them to soon appear on stage in rock musicals. 
 

 
 
Temperament
 
The Kansas Shepherd is an easy going breed, and despite their at times cheeky demeanor, rather quiet by nature. A slightly reserved personality makes them approachable, but not inclined to become immediate friends with strangers. They create a strong bond with their family and can become destructive or morose if sickened with worry, in particular when their closest ones are concerned. They have been reported to willingly die for their family, which makes them highly dependable with an unfortunately over-developed self-destructive streak in times of gloom.
 

 
Apart from their family, the Kansas Shepherd tends to trust people outside the family when they have proven to be loyal and reliable and then actually considers them family, extending his adamant loyalty to them. They can be, though, sometimes territorially aggressive, often then coursing others at play, using sarcastic remarks in addition. This is a specific hunting behaviour, not a domination one, and should not be discouraged. 
 
The Kansas Shepherd is very gentle with and protective of children and constantly aware of his size and power. They easily become over-protective of their family. 
 

 
It is an overall playful, smart, highly active, very sensitive, occasionally stubborn and reckless breed, popular with the opposite sex. They depend greatly on their close circle and don’t thrive when left alone. Everyday body contact is considered imperative to maintain their mental stability and they often seek comfort in closeness or hugs. Those should always be provided.
 
Food and Health
 
Though the Kansas Shepherd needs a well-balanced diet, they are often fond of apple pies and burgers. Salads are more often refused than eaten. 

Due to their hazardous profession, this kind is not expected to live long. Scientists, however, claim that – if properly cared for and well-trained in self-preservation, they actually can grow old. Allergies to straight razors are assumed.
 
Their resilience to bullets and other injuries is notorious, but essential. It will prove to be exceptionally helpful to keep a car nearby – to enhance their natural activities and to give them the opportunity to distance themselves from a place or person they don’t feel comfortable with. Cars of choice are classic models. 
 

 
Without proper care and in particular after losing a close family member, the Kansas Shepherd is prone to delusions, often mistaking smaller creatures for monsters. Some specimens have been reported to attempt shooting small dogs or buying copious amounts of Western clothing as a reminiscence of their origins. Moreover, they often develop anxiety attacks when in danger of losing their favourite car.
 
 

 
Prognosis
 
Cared for properly and allowed to indulge in pie, cheeseburgers, and frosted pudding, and permitted to celebrate Christmas with their loved ones, the Kansas Shepherd will increase his popularity – necessary to keep this species from becoming extinct. 
 

 
With only a few surviving specimens to date, the Winchester Family Business Gazette is happy to endorse, as we did with the Save-the-Jaredoodle-Appeal, a specific call for donations. We join the Pro Hunters’ Crusade, Kansas Road Signs, Mullet Rock Unlimited and Green Ghosts for Green Hunting in their campaigns. Support the Kansas Shepherd!  


For all the latest Supernatural info and article links, follow The Winchester Family Business on Twitter at @WinFamBusiness

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